There are many things I'd like to miss
But I'd never go without autumn's cold kiss
Looking at a red and gold blizzard is the definition of bliss
And under crisp apple winds, nothing seems amiss

There is much to admire about cool autumn days
Wether or not it's clear and blue or foggy or grey
The leaves, pumpkins, and winds join together to play
A day like this can truly go in any way

The greatest difference
In Nova and Dublin on
July afternoons
Is the rain's temperature

I often feel not quite a poet
All I seem to have in it is a flair for the dramatic
Because half of my account is rants
I'm just another white teen girl with nothing traumatic
And I only seem to write about my parents
When I've had a fight then
Like my muses seem to constantly forget
All the good times and support from them
And I write about problems I haven't been there to see
And compare places I live to where I've yet to be
I say I'm a loner with no one to talk to
But the truth is I stay away and hide my face in YouTube
Because I've got the social skills of a rotten tuber
And I seemed to have learned that chitchat doesn't help me
To see into the root of the issue, it's just more clutter and clatter
And if the people around us are all that matter
I'll be looking for all ways away from the prattlers
Because I love them with all of my heart
But good god, we need some years apart
They call me bubbly, smart, loving, and a doll
But some day they're gonna see through it all
To the weirdest hypocrisy that lies within
That while I'm living near the top
I've been feeling like I'm about to burst without stop
In spite of all of the luck I've got
So I put in my earbuds, tell them I'm fine
And I try to think of accurate, fitting, and chipper rhymes
Maybe I'll put blue skies straight into my lines next time

It's natural to look down
But if you look up
An airbus night is
The best place to be starstruck

I wish I was better, that I could be more
That I could remember enough to keep score
That I could make more than a small change
That my life could have some kind of range
I wish I could speak my world aloud
And not change myself for who's around
I wish I could be a steadier friend
One who'd make a difference in the end
But maybe it's not meant to be
Cause all that's left at the end is me

Do you even see me as an equal human being?
Do you care about who I am, where I've been?
Can you hear what I've heard and see what I'm seeing?
Can you try to understand that what I say has meaning?

I'm not laughing because you're wrong
I'm laughing because you're the first person
To get it right

Yes, I am insane

I don't stay up late at night
Because I enjoy sudden mornings
And hazy eleven o'clock headaches

I stay awake
Because I'm afraid
To loose all the time
I was given
And because
My mind is too loud
To get any sleep

I hold my breath
Because then my lungs finally feel full
And the heady onset at fifty seconds
Finally relaxes me

I ignore your normal jokes
And become a hyena
When you talk about groceries

Yes, I'm crazy.
Crazy enough to scratch and bite
Not at attackers
But at myself

Yes, my dear ambassador.
This is insanity
Where reason meets it's inverse reflection
And silence is the loudest sound

I hear something on tv
About some locality unconnected to me
Thirty seconds later, I forget
I cram last minute for a test
Hoping my score is the best
Two months later, I forget
We wage war in foreign lands
And later recoil at what was done by our hands
Ten years later, we forget
A man dies in an accident
With no idea what life meant
A generation later, the world forgets

How can I believe you'll take me seriously
When you joke that you'll sneak ****** into my coffee

How can I believe you'll listen to my pitch
When you, arguing with my sister, call her a *****

How can I believe all these compliments you say
When wether or not you'll shout at me depends on the day

I support
Both plain and mountain
To many men
My presence is certain

I produce
Feeding grass and trees
Giving nutrients to
Men, beasts, and bees

I challenge
Mountains, canyons and deserts
Serve to separate
Great explorers and the lesser

I enclose
My ranges and ravines
Separate lands
preventing wars that might've been

Nations rise and nations fall
The great trade places with the small
Those countries which rise above them all
Have the greatest distance to fall

The roaring storm's sky
Can make the ground shake
When thunder comes by
It makes the earth quake

Adonde ser
Adonde va
Adonde ser
Juan, ojos de algodón

They wanted new work to excite
To be smart and alarm
So I turned my head from the lector
And drew out chemicals on my arm

I clutch onto my cool pillow tight
As I descend to slumber at night
When I awake with a hazy head
I find my partner off of the bed

Empires rise and countries fall
But in the end, time judges is all

From lowly farms to palaces sublime
Everything changed with the passage of time

Our ideas on heroes and villans don't budge
But, in the end, time is the ultimate judge

Sometimes when I'm inside
This world that I am seeing
I often cannot tell the difference
Between my waking and dreaming

To all who tell me I'll die alone:
I honestly think I prefer that tone
It's better to pass with no one at hand
Than surrounded by those you secretly can't stand

I burn
Sending light to the sky
Warming and burning
Those who pass by

I blaze
Devouring my fuel
Both a force of nature
And man's tool

I simmer
My coals leave a path
Those who don't think
Will suffer my wrath

I flicker
Sending out rays of light
Cooking and torches
Remind men of my might

Can we all just, for once, agree
That we have enough problems without you fighting me?

That if we stop fighting, just maybe,
We can change the world we see

Like two ghosts, we'll dissapear
We'll blow our way right out of here
For us, the night is not a thing to fear
But a meeting place for friends and lovers dear

I wonder if
The lights in my room
Are telling me something

For every December
Another one burns out
And leaves me with a countdown
Of all the summers left
Until my departure

So I suppose
That by the time I attain that goal
For which I have so long
Yearned, pined, dare I say lusted for
My room will only be lit
By the sun and the moon

Hello ma'am, may I
Have a children's meal and
A light Budweiser

Through glass panes
A dime of blue
The light leaves me wondering:
"What else will I do?"

After a good shower
Everything seems better
There's just something about
Being clean and hair that's weter

Lying under waves of nightime heat lighting
I sit tight and try to stop my mind's  infighting
They say that a bounce back is helped by relaxing
But I'm three months in it and it's still collapsing
I've got one more week to lighten the relapsing
And I'm so tired of sitting and waiting to see
If I can somehow even fix this bizarre psyche
And as I try and as I fail to sleep
I keep realizing I'm in too deep

Some days I wonder if I'm just a distraction
From the relationship's latest course of action
When I'm not held up as a gifted prodigy
I'm just your problem child, one best left sight unseen
Upon wishing I could make myself weep
I realize again I'm in too deep

Don't tell people things that
They have already heard of

"Ok, honey, you look
Like a racoon
You've got to study for chemistry
You're only getting a B+
And how many times
Do I have to tell you
To wash the dishes?
Bring in the trash cans
Am I the only one
With a brain in this house?"
"Bu-"       "ah, that's one."
"But mom-"       "ah, that's two
Don't argue with me
I don't want to hear it
If course you're right
And I'm wrong
Whatever. Go to hell"

                                 Ok, first things first
                                I like how this looks
                               I've studied so much
                      My brain doesn't register
                     The information anymore
                And yeah, I'm a science geek
              But a B+ and the rest A's in an
                                    All honors lineup
      Is still pretty good for a sophmore
      And I was just going to wash them
If you'd given me five **** minutes
            And hey, we're both honor roll
                         Honors classes students
               So isn't that something to our intelligence?
                And hey, give me fourty-give seconds to explain, you don't even have to listen
          You could zone out for all I care
                   But if you don't want to be. interrupted
                               Then don't interrupt
                   If you don't want to hear it
                         Fine, listen to the HGTV
And honestly you seem to be the one
             Who never wants to be wrong
   So fine. At least the devil gives you a chance to speak.
      And you wonder why I talk to dad more.

There are people
Who deny the validity
Of friends made through
An intangible reality

There are people
Who say what we do
Doesn't matter here
That the internet isn't true

What these people miss
And what we can see
Is that there are people
Behind the monitor screen

To them, a computer
Is machinery and numbers
Just a high tech tool
Their feelings couldn't be number

To them, what they see
Ends with the screen
Or maybe with software
Or hardware that can be seen

But to us, however
We look at that screen
And we know that
There's more to be seen

Behind each window
For those of us who know
Are people to talk to
And friendships yet to grow

To us, a screen
Is not a dead machine
But three billion people
Yet to be seen

We know each code, site
Video, blog, or post
Is the work of a person
And not some electronic ghost

We don't care
Where you are in the world
Our bonds are as valid
As those pen pals of old

So while people may
Just brush us away
We know our world
Is as real as our words

How can I show you
that this is what Germany
Was like in '35?

One of the greatest moments
In this world, I find,
Is finally finding a song
That seems to read your mind

When the beat drops, you feel it
In every body part
And you feel it in your soul
As the beat matches your heart

The artist behind the song
Knows you better than your friends
And you think about it for hours
After the song ends

So while the world is huge and confusing,
At least I know an artist who shares in my musings

When I listen to a story
Be it in a theater or on a phone
I don't feel weird about how I feel
I know I'm not alone
Because at every other time
I'm not sure how to be
Because if I let it all out as-is
I'm certain I'd look crazy
But when I read a book or listen to a song
I know that all my bizzare thoughts belong
Because in the end, I'm a sucker for a story
Whether it's on pages or a silver screen

Its finally less than eighty degrees
As little grey clouds roll in the breeze
Fall's sweet scent is finally here
With a few red leaves and air crystals clear

I think I need to find
More reasons to stay
I'm dangerously close
To running away

I constantly worry about
My reason to live
Because I never know
Which is the last breath I'll give

I keep comming back
To my existentalism
I wonder if I can be happy
With any belif system

Sometimes I wonder
If I'm obsessive
If my frequent musings
Cross the line into excessive

Sometimes I wonder
Going day to day
If I'll ever even
Get to have a say

Sometimes when I'm awake
In the middle of the night
I wonder if I'm normal
And, failing that, all right

Fall is (finally) in the air
With a cold front and apples everywhere
With long sleeves in vogue and school back in swing
Costumes in windows and pumpkin everything

Something is brighter and crisper today
(Maybe it's 'cause the humidity went away)
So as fall kicks in with a little breeze
I look forward to a season 'neath fiery trees

I know I haven't been on here in a while. I've been pretty busy with college, and I've just been figuring a bunch of stuff out. Thank you so much to everyone who has been with me over the course of all of this, even through my weird, oddball stuff and all of the shifts in attitude through high school. I hope you are all doing well. I'm doing better. I'll post when I can.

We all have our reasons
For why we're here

Not in existential sense
(Not this time)
But on this forum

We all have our reasons
For coming in
And writing in verse

Some of us
Want to hone writing skills
Some of us
Desire to describe the world
Some of us
Came looking for inspiration
Some of us
Need to let the skeletons out of our closets to breathe

I, personally
Am here because
This is the one place
I can let my
Wildest
Darkest
Most Lyrical
Descriptive
And Downright Crazy
Side out to the world
And no one will put me down for it
Or lock me up in an assylum

I hope that one day I will be
Like the people who inspired me

I hope that one day the world will see
What it is to be peaceful and free

I hope that people will become
Understanding of everyone

I hope that I can become someone
That inspires the others beneath the sun

In my dream
I was doing just fine
But it would seem
My subconscious crossed a line
People kept asking
About the bruises on my neck
And upon waking
I went to the mirror to check

I had another dream
(Which is rare for me at night)
I had a bruised arm
Like I'd gotten in a fight
And when people asked about it
I didn't know what to say
Wether to tell others I made them
Or if I should brush questions away

"You can tell me anything
But you already do, though."
As you laughed, I nodded along
But thought "As far as you know"

Quiero voy a
Un país con dragones
Pero ningún dice
Donde está es

Why is it that when I'm with you
I can never seem to be myself?
Why does talking with you instantly
Turn me into someone else?
I know this arrangement is a little unstable
But I'll keep it in place as long as I'm able
Because if you saw all the parts of me
All those things I don't let you see
I know you'd react quite badly
So I gaurd my secrets quite madly

I know one day this will fall apart
One day I will have to reveal my heart
But there's a place I need to be in by then
So, until then, I just hope nothing happens
Because if that wall comes tumbling down
And I'm in a bad place for my secrets to be found
I'd never see all of those dreams I have through
So despite the foundational cracks, I still hide from you

And I know things will never be the same again
When I've changed so drastically from beginning to end
And despite all of the advice that everyone's said
I want to get to my goal, so I keep my secrets in my head