"I have lost you."
The day it took for me to say,
"Nothing more in this life mattered most."
in effect I have realized what's important until
we can no longer continue as we are,
this is not true.
I have relegated in my self-deprecation,
only



How I miss you.

Is it really true?
My feelings for you became
a nostalgic rant.

A lengthy poem has smaller hits
but the author can push through the gist
of inerrant musings of the soul
until he bleeds pus in the sole.

Never meant to cause any disturbance
unless my words bother you like flatulence.
to gain a thought is to make a mind queasy
albeit structuring words to poems is not that easy.

There are more things, love.
that are more dread-forth than your
philosophical.

A-abangan ang bukang liwayway dulot ng pag-ibig Mo,
Pupunuin ng liwanag ang takipsilim ng kabuohan ko.
Iparanas Mo sa aking muli ang Iyong dakilang gilas,
Bagaman taimtim, ang koro ng aking papuri ay wagas.

A poem for you
Yields greater than what i spoke,
But your eyes said more.

I held my breath - nothing left.
Then shook her warm hand
that forever had began.

It’s silly for me to trade
My worth for something made
Up just for a keepsake…

A keepsake paper trade route I adjourned
To pacify a need I had begun to forlorn.
Fashioned by the angst of my discretion.

Lo and behold! Here I stand my heart I made open
Know this, I never put up nor faltered a thought
Then again true colors sprung up revealed a dismay.

What I had longed for, I quivered…
Apparent of what I foreclosed…
For I will not resolve to disclose any matter.

Should I have to, I am welcome.
I am a lion, that’s what I am.
Yes, I may have faltered but never will I am.

I can only take the blame for the actions I had begun
And the hurt, I take it, from which had sprung.
But never will I lift a finger, once I know I am betrayed.

For I know the worth of a friend,
I was blinded by my self-dismay.
Settle your thoughts, my dear, for such resolution;

For I have placed God to be my absolution.
Distance plays disregard to known other virtue.
See me as I am and you’ll see me I’m true.

Of things that could turn,
Over green fields I have learned;
Autumn broke a stir.

You can rant,
be angry
and devise plans
for the things you cannot control

but

in the end,
when God pulls you through...
when He empowers you to go through it...

In the end,
your feeling won't matter.

In the end,
praising God is the only response;

In the end,
you are brought to tears
not because it was hard
but because HE IS FAITHFUL.

I'd wished I never knew you,
so it won't be painful to let you go.

I'd thought I had not found who
the cause of this new found low.

I'd sought the realm of the night
which desecrated my inmost desire.

I found the ray of light
where to move on and release all the spite.

I still wish I never knew you
for me; it's painful to let you go.

Tilt past the uncertain
I replied with the molten
form of my disillusion
that I want to leave a precaution
for a manner speaking,
I work like there's no beginning
nor end to what I offer
and the rest of my co-worker.
We'd trudge to get home
and the wanting to go alone.
Will the drizzle ever stop
or will the week gets tough?

I left at the time I was to make you eternal,
I left at the wake of my own disposed external.
I felt the need to conceive an inexcusable remark,
I felt but alas the notion of which I perceived embarked.

I loved from the idea of a purposeful rhetoric -
I lived an indefinite tirade of regret and pedantic.
I lied to make secure a trade inconclusive
I light a spark which time had bookmarked intrusive.

I left a token, much unappreciated,
I left a memory for you to pin in a corkboard, unabated.
I felt no need to recall the time we had together,
I felt the gnash, the anguish but I received Love way better.

As I took a sip
left me needlessly wanting
more of cup of joe.

A man's heart should be secure in Christ
that it takes His lead for him to find her.

A man's trust must come from the One
who gives in order for him to woo her.

A man's direction has to be led by Whom
her arms are wrapped upon in favour.

I am stuck in an overture
of what it's worth of being sure
that the smoked had cleared
on headroom left nothing but feared.

I am dreading a crossroad path,
tell me what good can I get from that?
As long as this insecurity subsides
I shall tread the least before I tried.

I tend to settle with what I felt eased,
since the light shown upon me makes it's way east;
to abide by my nailed perception of reality
thus I have obscured the fact that I wrote such finality.

Nais ko lamang makita ang bayan,
Sigla ng unawa sa kasarinlan.
Bagkos natatanaw ang puot at pighati
Sa lupaing nais muling ibalik.

Bago sana idaing ang kawalan
Sarili muna'y puno ng kasiglakan
Bagamat pagtitiis ang ninais kabisaduhin
Pananampalataya sa Diyos ang dapat isa-isip.

A flaw had been there.
Hunger came and lingered on
but You satisfy.

I'd lie to stay awake,
I would choose the waking notion:
I'd try to speak it straight
for most of a dense impartial resolution.

I'd stay to wake a lie,
by a flaccid disrepair of state of mind,
contorting to sudden sigh
from mostly a yawn time seemed to find.

I'd wake to say a lie,
to whom you found a missing twentieth.
I'd stay to get by
an amusing theme of prose that is not done yet.

Stutter, stifle my words and thoughts...
...I shiver.

In this endless need to fill my quiver...
... of racked up jargon

To contend to the meaning of my affection...
...I sought direction.

I found that the notion had no meaning...
...to placate your dissatisfaction

I alone hold dear to what I felt was quality...
until you bridged the gap of enmity.

Now we both trace a furlong of doubts...
...which I had ended up seeking no clouts.

There’s a sage at the doorway
Negating affinity as a leeway.
He never spoke to me though he’s there
I shunned the thought lest I did care.

Grew up in envy
To those – they never saw right through me;
How I yearned for that man’s attention
And from others’ sage I longed discretion.

A battle occupied his thought,
A war seldom won, constantly fought.
For such warrior was taken abashed
Looked at me, ‘I can’t take you back.’

Grounded within me was the silence,
Left and right I sought for solace.
Never sure if could amount to anything in his eyes,
Until I found out he too was never sought off despite.

Desperate - in a sense
As I took hold of a pretense;
Had not the Divine stoop down to reclaim
What I had yearned for the sage, I blamed.

A treble in my throat croaked, “Father”
Despite holding grudge I never bothered
Spoke nor utter a thought in my mind.
There, I froze with teeth to the grind.

Truth encountered my despot idealism,
Tried hard to renounce the criticism.
It’s weight – truth only subjugated my hate;
“Love – unless you embrace it, cannot placate”

Fell on my knees, armor exhausted itself around,
Wrung over my shoulders arms of the One who found
Me clinging on the border of insight and despair,
Only His Will my broken, calloused heart molds into repair.

I glanced back at the sage, I met yearning eyes,
Sought he, his worth for me and found no despise.
All along, had I known, he too was a broken and contrite;
Would not I, received much bestow what is right?

"Can you not stay alone
  and be with me and take on
  the world as what we should be
  claiming what the Creator promised us free.

  Take my hand and let me
  lead you to a trail we
  sought after a life of bitter and sweet
  because only our First Love made us complete."

I deny the fact that
I can't be with you.
I deny the rant that
I want what's mine to be true.

I deny the loss that
spent my days all blue.
I deny the tact that
sent your response with a chilling hue.

I deny the phase that
I am into thinking
I deny the ways that
I held my ship sinking.

I deny the state that
though I recall what can heal.
I deny myself that
faith can be made real.

‘Here I go again,’
I’d say to myself.
Disappointed, fairly rejected, honestly dejected.

That’s what I felt,
True emotion sprung up when I thought,
‘Oh, here it goes again.’

‘I know I am vindicated.’
That is what I argued,
My mind cannot accept the fact I lost.

There I stand exclaiming,
‘All is fair in love and war.’
Although I admit, the battle was bitterly lost.

Battles are meant to be fought,
Soldiers don’t choose surrender rather
Find higher ground and bring home the captive.

Fight the enemy whereas they were the ones.
Where the face, the battleground is too familiar
Yet all too different in every encounter.

‘I may be wounded.’
Yet I am no casualty.
Battle scars heal, loss or win, it does not matter.

Honor is given to those who persevere,
Not knowing honor was already laid upon me.
There stood the First, in greater honor of our kind, He spoke,

Be proud, Lion! You have proven yourself.
For you are fighting for your self-worth,
Not for your reward, as you had thought so all along.

Rise up, Lion! Take heart!
You hear Me, I bear out your worth, I alone,
For the reason I am a conqueror, and I am Love.

When did I sink so low
as to find myself being towed
back to the shore of reality
making known of my inability?

When did I felt this pain
so familiar that it now soothes like rain,
to say at least the rain brings
a curious cast sarcastically sings?

When did I had that chance
to realize my pretentious stance
had ached my supposed reeling
of addressing my convoluted feeling?

When did I lose my side of humanity
ever since one of my kind spoke honestly,
questions I ponder my own portion of sanity
whereas it clearly spewed out futility?

To whom did the desire started,
a life to spend of the offset.
Stand guard, await down the fertile aisle,
heart open in keeping a face straight while.

Seek the heart to contemplate a mere indecision,
a bored attempt to reek in a false revision.
Too late now as the maiden transcends the scene
jarring the thoughts aside or else it reeks as sin.

Stared longer on her pace down the cloth until streams flow,
a split-second realized his heart leapt and his feelings towed
Tucked in the throat, he croaked and let the furtive heart free,
'this woman,' he saw - beaming, 'am hers and she, for me.'

Ice pelted over the summer breeze,
Clouds run under the once blue fleece.
Air is heavy; gets harder to breathe,
You’re the thought over me like a planted seed.

For once I knew poems were just rhythms,
Empty messages when it all seems
Helpless as I wonder to make out of it,
Foreboding words stands out incomplete.

Like the rain, prose comes out unnoticed,
Although both come in season and by promise.
The wind may have blown a cloud at my back,
Same as the thought of words that I had lacked.

There might come a time for me pouring
All my thoughts to paper, recurring.
As the rain over the roof drizzling,
Everyone drenched rounded up scowling.

And as I end this poem with none much the same.
Just like the rain pouring all over again.
The seasons change – all but then they went,
When as my thought gone up, showered all I’d spent.

There’s a battle raging through my head,
So much that it knocked me off my bed.
There’s a war raging through the thoughts;
Diverse and dismayed neither I can sort.

Haste is the time that spent wasting
Entertained by such pacifistic maiming.
Ideating the norm and realizing the storm
had just started as I shut the squirm.

Conscience speaks the threat at hand,
the head does not agree the time it spanned.
Where there are more things on heaven and earth;
there are more dreadforth than my brain sports.

The enemy lurks the darkness in me,
passing by the realm of my inability.
I had to open eyes wide to invite the Light
while at the same time shut from plain sight.

Recall the Words spoken to me,
realize there is much for me to see.
The villain emerge from the dark of the moon -
the cerebral crater dormant from the day’s form

“You – are not – real.
You are just a figment;
an imagination, a fantasy,
one that I let you haunt me.”

The One I know died for,
Lived and loved me through the core.
Lies no longer seem redemptive nor elegant nor sped;
Flee not the grace and flee the grave though instead.

Jolt to wake myself up,
admonition that all along I was held at a stop.
The battle becomes the sleep yet decided;
settled more for the Love had invited.

Let the sea take over the day my sandcastles failed,
Awestruck, glanced over the epitome of waves.
Faulty walls glued by moistened soil
Taken back despite my daytime toil.

Why have we gotten this far sooner?
This eventual scene hastened the need fuller.
Where have we been thus far back?
From the breeze, the promise and the distinctive tact.

Scoop of sand formed to bridges and brigs,
Mold of trail held strung by twigs.
Had I known the way the sandcastle to stand;
I may not have clung on a foundation unstiff as land.

But the dusk shows promise and fulfills a new day soon
Despite seeing the tide rush in my feet, it’s through.
I look on, breathe a sigh, moved on, carried my pail;
Let the sea take over the day my sandcastles failed.