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ajp Aug 2015
Maybe one day the stars will go out,
And the moon will explode,
But let me tell you this:
I will still love you.
May 2015 · 515
broken heart by daddy
ajp May 2015
Daddy,
you broke my heart before any boy had a chance to.
He also took the special thing from me that I was saving for my soul mate
Apr 2015 · 622
12w
ajp Apr 2015
12w
Give me something to numb
Without it being written on
My body
Apr 2015 · 556
Can't Sleep
ajp Apr 2015
heavy eyes droop
down
but heartache
props them open.
Apr 2015 · 890
missing you
ajp Apr 2015
missing you
is like swimming
underwater.
at first you're
fine, but the
longer you go
without air,
the bigger the
ache and the strain
grows.
pretty soon your
body is begging
for it but you can't
get it.
in my case,
its my soul
that is missing you.
Apr 2015 · 410
[ Shh, don't talk to me ]
ajp Apr 2015
Shh, don't talk to me.
Please. I'd rather be with the moon
Bottles line up with emotion.
Stored away in the back cellar.
Journals and journals
cluttered the bookshelves.
Not trusting anyone but the
lovely pages.
Don't ask me if I'm alright.
I only want the moon.
Apr 2015 · 340
habit
ajp Apr 2015
Spark.
A flame ignites.
The dark fills up with a glow.
White held into the flame.
It starts to burn.
Smoke floats lazily towards up.
Red tip hot.
Inhaled.
Lungs filled.
Exhaled.
Delicious burning.
Sweet destruction.
Apr 2015 · 527
golden silver
ajp Apr 2015
Silence is golden,
but I prefer silver.
Mar 2015 · 1.9k
spilled secrets
ajp Mar 2015
Spilled secrets,
spreading;
        a glass of water
dropped on the floor.
Nov 2014 · 577
Selfish
ajp Nov 2014
Is it selfish of me to
thank God that he
has not taken her
out of her misery?
Nov 2014 · 10.2k
Ignoring a presence.
ajp Nov 2014
How do I ignore you when
you're right next to me?
God ****** we keep bumping elbows.
I can't blast my music
loud enough to tune out
your presence.
Nov 2014 · 688
Shut up!
ajp Nov 2014
Shut up, won't you please?
Don't you see,
your words are killing me.
They cut into my body,
making my breath choppy.
I hear you laughing with that girl
who sits in front of you while I'm that
girl who sits next to you.
Shut up so I can live and not die.
This is ****** with a bit of rhyming
Sep 2014 · 1.7k
triggering
ajp Sep 2014
i was holding the g u n
but you were the t r i g g e r
(c) Aiyana Farber 2014

this was about me deciding if i wanted to follow through self harming and my mom was a big trigger so yeah
ajp Sep 2014
but maybe the problem is, you love too
hard and hate too soft. you don't know how
to express your emotion, you never did.
(c) Aiyana Farber 2014
Sep 2014 · 452
You promised
ajp Sep 2014
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP ME.
YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD TRY TO HEAL
ME. BUT THEN YOU ******* LEFT ME ON MY
BATHROOM FLOOR, DROWNING IN MY OWN
TEARS AND BLOOD SHED BY MY OWN HAND
AND ****** IF I LIVE I WILL MAKE
SURE YOU FEEL MY PAIN
(c) Aiyana Farber 2014
Sep 2014 · 525
My 2 am
ajp Sep 2014
You
Were
My
2 am
But
Not
The
Kind
I
Needed
(c) Aiyana Farber 2014
Sep 2014 · 1.1k
Sorry
ajp Sep 2014
But god ******
Don't tell me to
Not be sorry
Because my whole
Life is one big sorry
And if you tell
Me you're awake
At 3 am listening
To Beethove while
Crying into your
Boyfriend's t-shirt
Then ****** let
Me be sorry Because
You're my happiness
This is about my best friend.
Sep 2014 · 858
Before I Die
ajp Sep 2014
August 23, 2014 12:25 pm

All I want to do before I die
Is to write something so
beautiful,  people leak
emotions from their eyes
and sigh with huffs of
wind strong enough
to be heard
from London.
I want to put life back
into eyes of the
broken.
I want all of these
rotten human beings
to feel something other
than the numbness
and anger that
consumes their
soul
Aug 2014 · 1.6k
Late night thoughts
ajp Aug 2014
When you look at me,
Are you really looking at me?
Or areyou just looking through me?
Jul 2014 · 257
Its coming back.
ajp Jul 2014
The scary thing about
d e p r e s s i o n
is that you k n o w
when that t h i c k,
                                 b l a c k,
                                               b l a n k e t
is coming
             b a c k
but you c a n ' t do
a n y t h i n g
                     about it.
Jul 2014 · 347
inconstant
ajp Jul 2014
I was like the moon

                      always changing.
a.f
Jun 2014 · 13.4k
drowning
ajp Jun 2014
your love was
saving
me
but it was also
drowning
me
Jun 2014 · 2.4k
battles
ajp Jun 2014
How is that when I cut instead of taking my own life, it's a battle won
But when I try not to cut and to get better, I lose the battle?
Late night thoughts.
Jun 2014 · 1.9k
pelting rain
ajp Jun 2014
the pelting rain
is nothing compared
to the pounding of my heart
Jun 2014 · 499
i believe you. not
ajp Jun 2014
you say you care and i believe you.
but it is temporary.
when i don’t tell you what is wrong you drop it.
and you don’t bring it up again.
so don’t say you care.
because i know you don’t.
May 2014 · 775
my 2:00 am.
ajp May 2014
you
were
my
2:00 am

but
not
the
kind
i
needed.
May 2014 · 2.0k
its not fair
ajp May 2014
its not fair
that when i cry over you
you smile over someone else.

— The End —