She looks in the mirror and sees a mistake, a broken girl with no direction, a girl who does not deserve love or happiness, no way to cover the ugliness.
She hates her personality, she hates her face, she hates all the things that she cannot change. She wishes that everything she saw in the mirror would simply fade away.

I looked at her with only admiration for the beauty I saw in her soul. She was perfect in my eyes. She was everything I could never be. I loved her with everything that I am, but I was nothing compared to the truth in the mirror.

I read to forget
I read to feel
I read to escape
I read to heal

I read to remember
I read to distract
I read to connect
I read to backtrack

I’m okay when I read
but it hurts when I don’t
Characters are my friends
when my real friends won’t

The words are my freedom
from this desolate kingdom
Isolated by feedback and uncontrollable flashbacks

I need release from the pain
To breakout of these chains
They torture my brain
looking to blame

I keep running away
from the grief in my mind
I’m tortured by thoughts
I’m not ready to find

I’m trying to outpace my agony and resentment
But my only liberation is to accept contentment

My bookcase is filling with more empty reads
Who am I kidding, what more could I need

Your eyes
are a fire that lights up my skin
Your heat
is a force that ignites from within
Your hands
are so gentle, they make my head spin
Your lips
give me chills, I can't help when you grin
Your voice
has the beauty of a golden violin
Your body
invites, excites, entices sin
Your attention
is an ocean I get lost in
Your love
is a life that might have been

I'm worried that I'm forgetting your face.
I'm worried that I'm focusing too much on things that don't matter, and too little on the things that do.
I'm worried that you are fading away because I'm forgetting to let go and live.
I'm worried that I am losing memories because I'm too focused on the big picture.

I know that it doesn't really matter.

I know that people slip through the cracks when you are too lazy or too scared to hold on.
I want to remember your face.
I want to fight to experience the little things.
I don't want to let you fade away because I was too scared to let loose.
I want to make memories and paint the big picture.

I have so many words inside my mind
racing around my consciousness

I thought, I wanted, to be a poet
I didn't think I would feel so bottomless

I can't stop thinking about rhymes and signs
and what words seem to have the most feeling
"Do the words I hear inside my brain actually have any meaning?”

I thought, it would be, a way to express myself
A way to keep my heart beating

But the more that I write, the more words I find
circling through my head

They keep me up at night, not a soul in sight
Can I please just go to bed

She woke me up
no kidding
I thought I was lost
not beating
My heart had failed me
not working
My brain had turned off
just empty

Then there she was
still smiling
I could feel something
inside me
My heart had restart
fluttering
I could keep going
with her
beside me

She was my inspiration
The way she spoke so clearly
Her voice echoed with no hesitation
and her words were meant sincerely

I could tell she wrote with passion
Not afraid to tell her story
It was her call to action
Not about the glory

I wanted her to talk forever
and not stop at the end of the paper
We had a connection I didn't want to sever
Her thoughts I wanted to savor

I can’t keep denying these feelings
When my heart keeps screaming
I love you

I told myself that when I saw you again
I wouldn’t fall back
In love with you

It doesn’t make sense, the way that I feel
Our worlds are too separate for
Me to love you

Every time I walk away
I’d come back if
You told me you loved me.