We strive for the minimal,
Simplicity is safe.
To be bold is to be vulnerable;
An unsteady state.

As you wept
I held you tender and mild
And we exchanged
The role of mother and child

If I rip out my throat
You cannot hear me scream
If I blind your eyes
Can you cannot see me heave
Or my tears, you cannot see me cry

But you have bound my hands
And torn my throat
So you cannot hear my screams
But delight in watching
My contorted mouth cry silent tears

One two three
How many can I see
In the water, on the roads in the trees
Why is it none of them breathe
Why is it only some of them bleed
Everywhere I am they follow me
Everywhere my dead body
Bringing my broken fantasy
Into the cold light of reality
Reminding me that this won’t last for perpetuity
That I don’t have to suffer for eternity

From this place I come and go
Warring time for absence  
But without fault my flesh begins to crumble
So to this place I return
Begging expression to save me

I want you to open up my mind
Look past this life’s lies
Ask me what colour did I paint the sky
What does wind look like through my eyes
And what is this force that binds us together
Is it the same force that compels the earth and moon to dance forever
Ask me and I will describe the way the sky bends
They way the moon mends
Each and all of my wounds
You see my mind is a beautiful place
It’s a shame to see you let it go to waste

We are not scared of death
We are scared of finality
The possibility that we can come to an end
The line of our lives is not
Perpetually drawn
That the world can exist
When we do not
Because at the end of the day
We are all narcissists

Nostalgia is a dangerous emotion
It unknowingly saturates our past in colours so vibrant
So we crave time that never existed

Your words mean nothing
Because if they meant something
They would mean everything

I don't even even care anymore
I just want to escape
This repressive regime
We call the world

It’s hard to imagine that by being yourself
You could save someone’s life
You don’t have to imagine
Because you’ve done it so many times
I know now you can’t understand
But when your older I will take your hand
Look you in the eyes
And tell you because of you
I am alive

I can not be ok unless my world is crumbling apart.
I can only stretch my limbs around your calamity
tie them in a bow,
if my eucatastrophe catastrophically collapses.

The more my mind becomes at peace,
the more I stay awake at night staring out my window
into the ink shadow,
And tango with the shattered moonlight.

Nostalgia consumes
Slip and plummet into a cataclysmic monsune

So I welcome you,
I beg you, rip my heart to shreds
make my mind a mess.
Defile my body and brake my sprit, burn my tattered shreds
in the blazing fire of your hate.

Look at it insanity, everywhere, everything
I will drown in it, I will drown in the screams.
Humanity clings
But pain, the saviour the messiah
is the only thing that makes me feel okay
the only way I can tell fantasy from fiction
pain is the only thing that keeps my devils at bay.

I am the creator of my own catastrophe,
I am the designer of my own tragedy.
Agony.
I am both my antidote and poison, the repercussions of one are felt at magananimous magnitudes of the other.
A never ending cycle.
Estranged peace, unwonted quite. Lock myself in a small room let darkness take me,
insanity break me,
my demons create me,
the evils of the world dance in that room,
they dance with me.
This is my estranged peace,
this is my unwonted quite.

I smile,
a smile so out of place,
put on my mask to cover my face.
I gather my shreds and sow them into a terrorizingly beautiful quilt.
I can only be human if mayhem is raging
under the surface of the lie I built
bubbling over
pressure building
scales tipping.

There is something terribly irreparably broken.
There is a darkness that was terribly irreparably woken

I can only be ok if my world is crumbling apart.

Because something inside screams for chaos.

self destructive,
I will destroy myself until nothing but a charred carcass is left.
When I stand back up again I burn myself to the ground in a calamitous blaze.
Taking actions that have strings attached, that are just waiting to go up in flames.
But I will keep on going until my fragile marred world built around me implodes.
The shattered shards of my world explode
They cut into my flesh rip it to shreds,
my blood flowing is the only reminder that I am not dead
That I am in fact human  
But I don't stop the flow,
it cascades down a formidable waterfall
my destruction is complete.
First of the mind then of the physical form,
For years pain held me deluded
Finally my inevitable cataclysmic end has concluded.

Sleep is an elusive shadow that I will forever chase

You said my eyes sparkle
To the stars they are tethered
Like the night sky
You could get lost in them forever

We constantly flip the switch
                                  footsteps approaching *
“Hurry”
                                                 “Shhh”
               *flick
They can’t know we live in the dark

He got her hopes up, up so high
believing their love belonged to the sky
but now the sky’s falling,
falling all around them

It’s not fair
That you get to live in a world
Where you aren’t broken
By the memories of us
And where you weren’t used
Only For your body
or your touch

At night my mind wanders
I think about the bareness of my legs
The soft rubing of the sheets against them
I think about my underwear the way it feels to wear it
I think about the way it feels to take it off
Then I think about you
Laying here in my empty bed
My empty pillow adorned with your head
Your breath dancing onmy neck
I think about the bareness of my legs
the way they feel against yours
They way your smell encases me
How your eyes melt into an million memories
And a million more emotions
How the thought of you causes such a commotion

Yet I’ve never told you I love you

What is this tree
It is out in the open
But is it free
Is it hoping
To breathe

I am no longer acquainted with hunger.
This flesh has forgotten his name.
This vessel has lost its way.

With tears in her eyes
And nicotine in her mind
She stares out into an ocean
And wishes she could walk on water

Sometimes I wonder if
My eyes water so much because
My body is trying to cry the tears
My mind won’t let free

When we were kids
We used to dream about
Finding love
Our first kiss
Having somebody to miss

You would dream about
Finding a love that encapsulates your soul
As It cascades down your body Trickling through each fibre of your being
Each heart beat sends a melody
that drips through your blood stream
Now your heart beats differently
entwined with another's
Infinitively
Both Love and blood share the same descendant,
The colour red
Maybe because they both flow through our veins
Maybe because they are the same
Indistinguishable

For a long time we dreamt about this day
But what if it wasn't a single day
It was a perpetual journey
You found yourself loving this person more each day
in ways that are undefinable
this kind love was indescribable
You find that your cracks are filled by their imperfections,
mending each other with your flaws
You find their presence is a kindling fire of comfort and warmth
Their smile fixes every inequity
Their eyes melt into a million memories
You find this person is home

You are the well my depression is drawn from
Never ending your shaft runs in my veins
Forever flowing, you ignite my pain

we believe
if we are born again
created from our most beautiful parts
or maybe you want to be born
in a mosaic of your most broken pieces
our lives will change
that this feeling undefined
will leave

but it never does
our life continues with indiscernible flow
even if noting is the same
and it seems
we've lost ourselves in the change

trying everything
every anodyne
to rid ourselves of this feeling'
that leaves its shadow in our eyes
we can not bring ourselves to confront it

I don't know what your shadow is
but I do know
I'm too lost in the change
I've forgotten what mine is

but hes blocked out all the sun

Oh what I would give
To be oblivious and innocent
Oh what I would give
To undo the things I did
Oh what I would give
To go back to being a little kid

You called me hot
But now my name is gorgeous
There’s something in that shift
That makes this so dangerous

hello
can anyone see me
please save me
from insanity
from humanity
humanity
     manity
             ity
they’ve lost the humans
where did all
the humans
go

We are only the accumulation
Of the people who surround us
Loosely bound by moral intuition

maybe the earth isn’t round
and the stars they are made of sound