I can not be ok unless my world is crumbling apart.
I can only stretch my limbs around your calamity
tie them in a bow,
if my eucatastrophe catastrophically collapses.

The more my mind becomes at peace,
the more I stay awake at night staring out my window
into the ink shadow,
And tango with the shattered moonlight.

Nostalgia consumes
Slip and plummet into a cataclysmic monsune

So I welcome you,
I beg you, rip my heart to shreds
make my mind a mess.
Defile my body and brake my sprit, burn my tattered shreds
in the blazing fire of your hate.

Look at it insanity, everywhere, everything
I will drown in it, I will drown in the screams.
Humanity clings
But pain, the saviour the messiah
is the only thing that makes me feel okay
the only way I can tell fantasy from fiction
pain is the only thing that keeps my devils at bay.

I am the creator of my own catastrophe,
I am the designer of my own tragedy.
Agony.
I am both my antidote and poison, the repercussions of one are felt at magananimous magnitudes of the other.
A never ending cycle.
Estranged peace, unwonted quite. Lock myself in a small room let darkness take me,
insanity break me,
my demons create me,
the evils of the world dance in that room,
they dance with me.
This is my estranged peace,
this is my unwonted quite.

I smile,
a smile so out of place,
put on my mask to cover my face.
I gather my shreds and sow them into a terrorizingly beautiful quilt.
I can only be human if mayhem is raging
under the surface of the lie I built
bubbling over
pressure building
scales tipping.

There is something terribly irreparably broken.
There is a darkness that was terribly irreparably woken

I can only be ok if my world is crumbling apart.

Because something inside screams for chaos.