Do you ever feel like your story is being written for you?
Maybe that’s why I write—
because when I look down, at least I know it’s mine.

How did I get so lost,
so far from what was once so bright?

Page after page keeps turning,
but my pen ran out of ink long ago.
Time keeps passing,
but the story unfolding isn’t me.

Maybe my story was never mine.
Maybe it belongs to someone else.
Maybe I’m just a book collecting dust
on a stranger’s shelf.

Maybe that’s why I write—
so that somewhere, buried in those pages,
there is at least one part
that is undeniably mine.

“Make the child fear you. Some people like to say respect is important, but nothing is more respectful than a well-trained child who fears you.”

Ask him how well that turned out.
All cold and alone, while three humans—half of him—walk the earth without a shred of regret
that we will never exchange something as simple as hello again.

I fell in love with a boy at 16,
and here is a list of things he taught me:

1.) People who love you will remember the little things.
2.) The people who look the happiest are probably not even a little happy.
3.) No matter how much you love someone, you can’t make them choose you.
4.) People will repeat the same traumas done to them without even realizing it.
5.) If you just lie there and silently cry, it’s over faster.

P.S. I really hope you’re in therapy,
especially now that I see you have a little girl you call your own.

There must be something unseen
woven into your very being.
What else could explain
how, with so much weight,
you still move with such grace?
Like a weightless ballerina on her toes,
dancing across splintering boards,
running amok on the stage—
untouched, unbroken-
At peace

I look down at the mirror and see
a me with flesh and blood in her teeth,
a grin washes across her face
as our eyes meet and carve out space.
I can’t bear to look at her at first—
the monster staring back at me.
I thought her words must be cursed.

“Looking away won’t save you from me.
We are already the same, you see—

You.
And.
Me.

So look away if you must,
but just know—
I’m in every shadow that you leave.
Every breath you take
gives life to me.”

I made a home inside you.
And if fate ever tried to tear my home away,
I would salt the ground beneath my feet
Scorch the sky above me
Engulfing everything in its reach,
Until god themselves returns you to me.

I made a home inside of you.
It holds the pieces of me I don’t want the world to see,
The parts that I swore held no beauty.
But they are safe with you—
The parts that are loud, unforgiving,
The parts that demand.

As we walk hand in hand through these halls,
You teach me to listen,
To let them be.
“What are they really trying to say to me?”
To see. To be seen.

I made a home inside of you.
It holds the fragile pieces I once hid away.
At first, you softened the walls,
As if you knew how much they mattered—
they were seconds away from shattering.
But not today.
No more shoving them in a box.
“These are the things the world deserves to see”
You say.
And as we unpack them,
You remind me of their beauty.

I made a home inside you.
And if fate ever tried to tear my home away,
I would salt the ground beneath my feet
Scorch the sky above me
Engulfing everything in its reach,
Until god themselves returns you to me.

My girl is made from fire and stardust.
She feels like a child of the wind and the rain,
Her wrath—an unprecedented hurricane.
But love her, speak sweet words to her,
And she is the cool breeze on an extra hot day,
The reason you feel like it might be bearable to go out and play.
She’s a light spring shower,
Covering the earth with blooms,
Bringing it all back to life.

Oh, but don’t you dare stand in her way—
She is divine feminine rage.
The storms before—I swallowed them whole,
And now I’m beginning to see
That maybe all of that was to make sure
She had an unshakable roar.
And oh, is it beautiful to see
That no one will stand in her way.

Her words spill like lava,
As steadfast as a bull,
Yet her heart is still so full.
Sweeter than honey—
Until you challenge her storm,
Until you test her form.

And if you do, just know—
I’ll pray
For you
To make it out alive.
Because you see, my girl is made of stardust and fire—
Two untamable things,
Two forces together, unchained,
Burning, rising—
Unshaken, unbound,
Stretching far above and below the ground.

So think twice before you stand at her door,
If you wish  to endure the unfazed wrath
Of all the women who came before.
She is the storm, the flame, the roar—
A force the world will soon learn
Can never be ignored.

But for now,  
Will you sit with me?  
And watch for the shadows in the smoke?  
Maybe even see the dance of what could be?  

And if they do—  
Maybe we do more than trap them in a jar.  
Maybe we can raise the bar.  
Maybe we can see  
Just how far  
The shadows in the smoke flow—  
If we work together  
To keep this fire aglow.

Maybe love is found in the in-between,  
Between the violent hold to keep it  
And the willingness to let go.  
Or will this sweet orange  
Rot under a tree,  
Long before we even reach spring?

Is love beautiful and soft?  
That’s what I’ve been told.  

But I’ve never seen love that way.  
She’s bold, overreaching—she fights  
For herself.  
For others.  

Love is not just the soft goodnight kiss from your mother,  
The warm embrace of a childhood friend,  
The laughter shared under the stars with a lover.  

Love is the mother lion  
Willing to lay down her life for her cubs.  
It’s the moms starving tonight  
So their children have food to eat.  
It’s my grandma, who can’t afford me,  
But keeps me anyway.  

What if love isn’t just about what we give,  
But what we’re willing to sacrifice?  

Would you sacrifice your life for me,  
Like the mother lion?  
Could you go without dinner  
So I could eat?  
Will you move the world for me?  
Do you really love me?  

What if love is supposed to be gentle and sweet,  
But this world wasn’t made for sweet things?  
They always seem to spoil and rot.  
The once-sweet orange on the tree,  
Now rotting on the ground.  
My sweet grandma, too sweet to be,  
Stolen from me.  

So love has become:  
Will you eat me,  
Or will you be eaten for me?  

Is that what we’ve done—  
Taken something so beautiful  
And stripped it of its beauty,  
Because we think  
That’s what must be done?  

Would you bake a cake for me?  
Could you dare to stay up all night  
Contemplating God with me?  
Will you cut fresh flowers for me?  
Plant a garden for me?  
Would you walk hand in hand through that garden with me?  
Could you endure the hungry nights  
So our kids can eat?  
Would you stay by my side  
After my grandma died?  
Will you still be there  
When my mind finally breaks  
And the pieces scatter?  
Can you stay long enough  
To watch me rebuild?  
Or will the scatter  
Be our final matter?  

What if it’s both—  
The soft and tender love,  
The sacrifice and hurt?  

Love is tender.  
The fight to keep it  
Is violent.  
Or does it have to be?  
Should I have to ask if you would rot for me?  
Leave yourself for me?
Can love actually demand these?

Maybe love is found in the in-between,  
Between the violent hold to keep it  
And the willingness to let go.  
Or will this sweet orange  
Rot under a tree,  
before we reach spring?

I don’t think justice is sweet-
not real justice anyway.

It’s not like a birthday cake,
baked with love, shared with joy.

I think revenge is sold to us as sweet-
the beautiful, perfectly decorated cake we bought from the shop’s window
But one bite in and you realize:
There is no sweetness only salt
And curdled milk

I think justice is communal
For the greater good

For true justice
we must change the way we think.
Not just for me, but for we
For the whole community

So how can justice be people locked in cages
Making slave wages
How is that good for community.
Parents ripped from their children
Mothers’ children stolen
locked away

Not learning how to do better
Be better
Stripped of the lessons from the mother
Taught they are less than human
Treated like zoo animals
Rounded up like rats
Unearthing the secrets of what curdles the milk

How can justice be sweet when this is the reality
Selling out my fellow humans for my right to
THE AMERICAN DREAM
But is it really a dream worth dreaming-
If it’s just for me and not for we

If this is justice
why is it so hard to sleep.
The spoiled cake sold in the bakery window
We’ve already taken more than a couple bite
Will we spit it out?
Or will we binge until we reek-
of salt and curdled milk?

They say…  
it wasn’t messy  
until the cat.  

The cat just wanted to play,  
but somewhere along the way,  
she ran into a human like us.  

Together, they began  
to play with the red string.  

They say…
before the human,  
there was no method to the string—  
just thrown about,  
knotted inexplicably.  

But then man came  
and saved the day.  
The string and cat said, “Hooray!”  

They say…
man showed up  
with rules:  
“The string isn’t a toy,  
it’s a tool.  
Throwing it about  
would be cruel.  
People could trip,  
and one day,  
the string could rip.”  

They say…
they all agreed  
to move the string  
to a different corridor,  
behind a big door.  

“Any questions?”  
A little hand rose up.  
She was lost in the crowd,  
a girl I hadn’t noticed before.  

Her question sent ice to my core:  
“Then why is there red string  
all over the floor?”  

I snapped,
“There is no red string  
on the floor!”  
If they hear her question
Will it be safe for us anymore
The air grows heavier
Much too heavy to breathe
The sounds of heavy footsteps
Now growing louder than a horn
I’ve never heard knocks like this before
Why does it sound like a war
on the other side of the door?
All for a little girl?
Is that what all of this is for?

But then I looked down  
and barely began to see—  
the red string  
had tangled me.  
And by scolding the girl
Instead of letting it be
Have I sentenced her to a fate
just like me?

Too stunned,  
to speak,  
too stuck,  
to move—  

Her soft knowing eyes met mine
With the truth that mine were too calloused to realize
What They say…
might be too good  
to be true.


They say…
they lived happily ever after
They say…. “They will never all question us anyway.”
They say…

To be loved by me  
is like being held underwater  
and expected to learn how to breathe.  

I don’t feel like I’m from here—  
from this planet.  
To love me is inhuman.  

I’m a creature of the night.  
Don’t get too close,  
or you might cause me a fright.  
But if you get just close enough,  
we can have conversations  
that last all night.  

To be loved by me  
is like being drowned…

You lose yourself in me.  
I lose myself in you.  
It’s not just a pattern—  
it’s painted in the stars above,  
the ground below.  
You know we’ve all seen this show.  

I either make landfall  
like a hurricane,  
or like the rain  
that was supposed to come today  
but never bothered to show its face.  

To be loved by me  
is like being drowned…

It’s not that I’m unlovable…  
It’s that I might be intoxicating.  
And you know how it goes  
with toxic things:  
you either can’t put them down,  
or you know better  
than to ever pick them up.  

To be loved by me  
is like being drowned…

But what if I’ve never been those extremes?  
What if that’s just how you’ve chosen to see me?  
What if loving me is not like drowning?  
What if I’ve just been watering your seeds?  
What if we look between the stars and the ground?  

To be loved by me
Is like being drowned?

Is there a different story to be found—  
waiting to be painted  
by someone who can see  
both the stars above  
and the roots beneath the tree?

I looked into her Eyes full of sparkle and wonder her mind so full of possibilities and love It spills out all around her. A me from before the world took my voice and crushed me. I promised her the world with one foot outside of her pink polka dot room full of innocence.

With every step I took the air grew colder and my words grew teeth.
I used to hear her cry
Begging me to stop
that I can come back
“there’s beauty in being soft”
enjoy the thunderstorm as it passes
Even with all the damage that it leaves together, We can find the beauty in the rain its smell the refreshment of the cold breeze.

But she doesn't know she is safe in that room because I locked the door and boarded up the windows.
they told me she is too soft.
The world is too cruel for her to be safe.
Her skin bleeds when it hits the outside air. Just pain comes when she is out, and there is no beauty in pain, only suffering.

Her words have become white noise as I wander this condemned house alone. I almost missed... I almost missed “When is the last time you took a moment to look outside?” Barely a whisper on the other side of my childhood door, which caught me off guard because they were never whispered before. She always roared. I'm hit with the crushing realization. Oh no, what have I done to her.  

I stole her voice in trying to keep it for me. Lost in this never ending mazes of who I’m suppose to be.

Her words slowly grow louder, almost as if all she needs is to be seen.
“The storm is gone now, and the birds have began to sing.”
Her words grow bolder as if she finally found her way to be free.
“You abandoned both of us for the sake of me, but the storm has passed, and I promise if you just listen, you can hear the birds sing.” Somehow her hand finds mine on the other side of the door-a connection we have both been searching for.
For the first time I could hear the little birds, even if far off and faint.
“Let me out, unlock this door, and maybe after all this time we can find what we have been searching for”
in that moment I swear I can hear the bird that sings of hope sitting just outside the front door
Wondering if this the moment we have been waiting for to rip this house down board by board.
Rebuilding together to be so much more.