We'll find each other soon, right..?
One day..
We'll look into each others eyes
Hear each others voices
And not feel so lonely anymore
Take my heart
Unknown Lover

I want them to notice
I'm not okay
So that I get a shoulder to cry on
If they even care
But naturally
I always pretend I'm okay
And suffer on my own.

She's got a tongue
Sharp enough to make you hush
She's got the smile
Enough to make you blush
She's got the attitude
To make you go mad in love
She's the girl I wish to be
But I can't bring myself to be
She lives in my head
The girl I want to be
I lie in my bed,
thinking of what could be
She's fearless, strong and gorgeous
With the walk of a cat
Heart of a lion
Hiss of a snake
Breaking but hiding it
Confidence will rise above it
She's the girl I wish to be
But I just can't seem to become it

Get out of my head
Please
Stop ruining my life
Creating up little lies and scenarios
Forcing me to believe them.
Atelophobia along with my anxiety and depression that controls my everyday life.
I depend on that one small pill to keep me happy and sane
My brain is so ****** up that I cry for no good reason without it.
I miss one day, and I break.
No reason for me to snap, no reason for me to cry, no one can tell me why I randomly developed this mental issue that runs my whole life.
Let me love someone for once without being doubtful.
Let me love someone without a fear of being thrown out.
But maybe it's just trying to protect me,
So that I don't get any worse.
Get out of my head.

I wish I had never met you
But at the same time, you taught me things
Don't trust others easy
Don't let them in easy
You left my stomach feeling queasy
Uneasy for a week
Making my heart feel bleak
I kept trying to seek your approval
Your love and your heart
Though you didn't want me anymore
So I just fell apart
You said you loved me from the start
You said it too easily though,
Then took it all back at the end
That's what tore me apart
We'd talk about our future together
Late at night when we should be sleeping
But now I lay awake in my bed at night
Alone and weeping
You were so far away so it's not like I could make you want me
She could give you something I couldn't
I wish I had never met you
But thank you for everything you had taught me.

Look at me go
Look at me shine
I'll leave you in the back line
Just like you did to me
I'll walk away with a smile
So bright it'll be hard for you to see
I don't deserve you
I deserve better
Give me a little credit
For putting up with you for too **** long
They should've bet on it
That you would leave
Now look at me
Look at who I am now
Do your eyes deceive?
I'm so much better off without you

I hate you so much
The way you led me to believe you'd stay with me
Forever
But your voice makes me warm
I hate you
For the way you basically cheated on me because you couldn't be patient
But your laugh brings back memories
I hate you
For hurting me so bad I'm now just as possessive as you are
Because now I'm too scared to lose someone else
But doing simple things we haven't done in a while together makes me happy
I hate you so much
For scaring my heart
Making me always see you in someone else
I hate you so much
But please, love me again.
Though I'll refuse to love you back.

sometimes i think of the good days
when we were together
but then i remember
you left me for someone else
and i guess
we werent made for eachother

i dont know
whats wrong with me
why do i wish to express that im kinda sad
but dont want you to question it
why dont i want you to worry?

I honestly feel like I'm falling
My trust issues choking me
Like a noose tight around my neck
As I watch all those around me,
Falling deeper and deeper into a depth of love
A depth that I crawled out of after being thrown out
Just barely alive.
I'll look down at them, watching the ones who survive
Marry.
And the unlucky ones, such as I, who were tossed out.
I'll grab their hand to pull them up.
With a shy whisper,
"I know."
Tears will run down my cheeks as that rope that was once a noose becomes chains.
My trust for others disintegrating,
and my doubt increasing like a hummingbirds hunger.
I don't lose hope.
Maybe, maybe just one day.
The chains will be unlocked.
And I'll learn how to trust someone again,
as I also learn to trust myself with another ones heart.

When she was 7
She believed in a heaven
She believed in a God
When she was 8
She was oh so great
Her destiny was a date
When she was 9
Oh she flew so high
Mother so proud
Thought she would never fall down
When she was 10
She started to lose some things
Tantrums over and over again
Light starting to dull every night
When she was 11
She wanted to go to heaven
There was no light left in her eyes
All she wanted to do was say goodbye
A scream and a cry
A shout but her words were as quiet as a mouse
Lie to the doctors
To get out quickly
Despite her mind being so sickly
As she got older
The boulder on her shoulders
Became a little less heavy
She could bare more
Sometimes she'd still cry
But she'd find a way to make herself alright
Though sometimes it's a little difficult
She's 16
And her mind still isn't clean
But will it ever be?
She went through her own little hell
But the bright bell rang
Her strength sang
Though her heart is scarred up
Trust isn't quite there
She'll make it
Through the mean words that little demon puts inside her mind
Prove them all wrong
Cause mama didn't raise someone who would give up
Mama raised a girl who will always find a way
To keep her head up

Everyone leaves
Even when they promised they never would
So could you just please
Promise me
Not to leave
And have my belief
That you won't go
Be true

It just kinda hurts
Just a little bit
The way you told me all these things
For months on end
We would sit up in bed
And instead of sleeping
We'd talk about our future together instead
You were far away though, so I couldn't give you what you needed
She swept you off your feet
By being able to hear your heartbeat
That was something I couldn't do,
Unless you had patience
So because you fell for her all because she could give you 1 thing I couldn't
It made me feel like I wasn't enough
I shouldn't have expected it to last, though
Your words were too sweet and you confessed too easy
The summer nights were always a bit too breezy
So as I watched you walk away
Your heart pounding for her instead
My once heart full of love sways away
Leaving me feeling far too empty
With tears streaming down my eyes, and my screams filling my head
I'll forever lay in bed and think about all the words you'd said

what a waste of my time
wish you weren't in my heart and on my mind
i'm feeling so pathetic
seriously this is just like liking a celebrity
a waste of my emotion
and i won't forget it
i'm feeling like i'm trapped
in my own dungeon
that i call my mind
but i'll say i'm alright
just to try to fool myself
even for tonight
I'm feeling so ******' pathetic
An absolute mess and I won't ever forget it
****, I don't even really know you
And you don't know me
We never speak
But the thought of me maybe one day meeting you keeps me company
Though.. in reality
I know it's a waste of my time
Want you out of my head
Out of my head
Out of my thoughts
But so far I'm not really succeeding
No matter how hard I try
You always pop up somewhere
I don't wanna have feelings for you
Anymore
I don't want to have feelings in general
Anymore
Love is exhausting
Falling for someone
It is tiring
I know I can't do much about it
I try to get your attention but honestly
It's becoming not even worth it
The chances of me ever getting to get close is barely positive
But for some ******* reason I keep holding onto the feeling
Holding on to that straw of hope
While I'm sinking in an ocean
And I'm struggling to get back up
I don't know how to swim, and no one can save me
Well isn't this just my luck?
I feel so ******* pathetic
A sad excuse for a human
Wish you weren't on my mind, in my heart
And the thought of you makes me fall apart
Basically like liking a celebrity
Absolutely no point in hoping
But this straw of hope is stopping me
So I dream that one day
Maybe I'll at least be your friend
Maybe I'll at least let go
So I can survive as long as I can

She'll be with him longer
Than I was
She'll give him better memories
With a hand to hold
I wasn't good enough
Not the perfect girl
and I can't
bear that

i dont know whats wrong with me
the thought of you with someone else
makes my stomach turn
makes me want to cry
but i say i don't love you
i don't want to date you
i don't want to date anyone
so why do i want you to only
look at me that way

i don't really know why this started
the happy go lucky girl i once was
feared almost nothing
yeah she was glowing
until the darkness came in blowing
blowing out what once was
now who i used to be
is barely inside of me
only the memories of her
remain inside
the pictures will help you remember
i can't love
i can't do anything right
i can't hide
from the demons inside
so all i do is sit
quietly and wait
until they get bored
and dissipate
though it's only temporary
you love me
at least i think
i don't know why you want me
i say i don't like anyone
but why does it make me feel sick to my stomach
thinking of you with anyone else
i've caused you pain
i've caused you tears
while we both suffer through our fears
i don't deserve you
but why can't i afford to lose you?
whatever good was left in me
that year
i fear he took it all with him
now all that's left is anger within
self-hatred and fear for letting anyone in
but i think i do love you
you hate him for what he's done to me
so i'm sorry about the demons inside
that simply won't let me be
i've caused you pain
i've caused you tears
while we both suffer through our fears
i don't deserve you
but i really can't afford to lose you
i can't do anything right
i don't really wanna die
but i want this bad feeling to go away inside
i'm scared of myself at times
but you hate the fear in my eyes
i don't know why
why, do you want to make me alright?

I wish the man of the dreams
The man in my mind
The only one I can call mine
But doesn't even exist
Did for once
Maybe then
I could live happily
Forever in bliss

I know
I accepted a long time ago
That I'm not good enough
But I'm working on it
For myself
So just wait and watch
As this unlit match
Burns an entire forest
With one stroke across the emery
Let them all wonder
How to put out the flame
That would tear down anyone
Who stood in the way
Of her self victory

Life can be beautiful
Fills you with joy
Make you think there is good in the world
Life can be ugly
Fill you with hatred and sadness
Makes you think there's no hope left in this world
But in the end, we all have that one thing
That gives us a reason to get out of bed
Perhaps it's their smile
That makes you want to stay
For just a while

I think she's over you
Whether or not it leaves you black and blue
She's returning the favor
She's just doing the same to you
So listen here's what she'll do
She'll listen to you talk
As she crosses her heart
Never to be with you again
You left her hanging there
Her hands cold and bare
Stomach all in knots
She stared as you walked away
With another lovers hand in yours
As the rain poured
Now you're back for more
There won't be anymore tears for her to pour
Over you
I guess you can understand
When her heart is empty
There used to be plenty of love in there
You left her watching
You and someone else
Hand in hand
I think she's over you
What else is she supposed to do?
She won't be crawling back
Anymore
Like she used to do
This is what you made her do
Heartless yet kind
This will forever
Stain her mind
She'll never trust as easily as she once did again
She's left looking back on where it began
And where it all was to end
I think she's mostly over you
Still may cry some tears
But what else is she supposed to do?
You gave her so much to remember
This isn't over
She won
I won
Now just press send.

Maybe if I was dead they'd listen
They'd understand just a little bit more
So by tears pouring down and me wearing a constant frown,
Tears welling up in my eyes and I want to say goodbye
To have peace and tranquility
I often can't vent to others, as it will turn into the same line over and over
Almost like a stutter
Get this voice out of my head
This monster controlling my mind
Making me blind to the goodness of the one who claims they love me
Blinding me with words others have said from my past
And at last it swallows me whole
A hole in my heart
Tearing me apart
I often just want to feel at peace
My mind at ease
But that feels impossible
As this world is difficult to please.
Put my mind to ease,
A gun to my head
My depression forcing this black hole to get bigger and bigger
Take off the safety and pull the trigger.

Tranquility.

I'm not saying I hate you,
I'm just saying that if I could watch you die under my heel and face no consequences
If I could watch you beg me for mercy
While I read aloud everything you said to me
I would, darling.. ♥

What does it feel like?
It feels like you're numb
You don't feel anything emotionally
But at the same time you do
The numb feeling brings you depression and exhaustion
Tears refuse to fall, though
What does it feel like?
It feels like your head is heavy and clouded
Busy with thoughts
Your sane side is screaming at it to make it stop
At that point, you want to die just for it to end
What does it feel like?
It feels like I could let my head fall backwards, draping over my chair
And I could stare at the ceiling
Without feeling boredom, nor entertainment
I'd feel nothing
What does it feel like?
It feels like you wanting to sleep until that little episode goes away
Hopefully happiness finds its way into your mind again
Why do you think about death?
In truth,
None of us really want to die
We simply want this emotional and mental pain to end.