Ill go to sleep, close my eyes
Dream of broken fireflies
I cant see in this field of black
Ive gone too far now, I cant go back.

Watching where I stand
I cant be still
Or I sink into the sand
My shoes they start to fill.

My feet become heavy,
Its becoming harder to walk
Id shout and scream if I could even talk.

Long grass im grasping
Lifting up my knee
if only the fireflies weren’t broken
id be able to see

without their fire theyre just flies
they are my guidance and my eyes
without my heart im as useless
as Pinocchio’s nose without his lies

I feel the wind brush again my cheek
The whisper of the banshee feels quite weak
But when she screams
I hope to wake up from this dream
as dreams are more real as they seem.



Though I only see black
I picture in my head
The banshees mouth opening wide
Off my fears she fed.

Her scream was as loud
As a close truck horn
The cry from a baby, as soon as its born

My ear drums thumping
My skin feels torn
I was faced with her violence
There I stand, in the deafening silence.

Don’t tell me you love me
I’m stuck in between
Cause i don't feel a thing.

You don’t see me the same way as you used to,
And it’s all because of me,
I wanted too much too quickly
I wanted you to want me.

It was just such a rare feeling
So I knew it was real
Out of everyone I had met
You made my heart heal

I didn’t know how to feel
I didn’t know why
But I guess... it’s okay
Atleast were under the same sky.

Inhaling my sorrows and secrets
My lack of will to live
To love and cry

Falling apart
I feel it in my heart

When do I get to exhale

A day goes by
It's an empty home
All you can hear is the buzzing of my phone


Cold bowl of porridge
That saw the whole thing
Saw me step on the bed
Saw my body swing


It saw my brother walk in
To ask if i was crying
Two hours before my body was dying


It saw my mother fall to her knees
Who prayed and pleased
That my body wasn't fully deceased


But so it was
I was gone from the pain
Just like that
It started to rain


My corpse was very much like that bowl of porridge
It went from soft to hard
From hot to cold
My body went from young to old


Now my room is just filled with broken dreams
That could've been
If only they'd seen
How my heart was in pain
And my mind that is,
was, screaming.

I lost myself for you
There’s nothing I could do
Breathe me in,
like the music you listen to.

I’d give you my love
But even that wouldn’t be enough.  

I’m tired of falling for,
Hearts, that always want more.

The tree sees everything
Kiss my knees before you go
You should do that
Look for me in every petal or leaf
In every wing of every creature
In her eyes, every feature

Should I care
should I not
look in your eyes
deep in thought

Feel your touch
On my skin
But now you're gone
All I feel is my sin

Of loving


if we never speak again atleast i told you about how i felt,
how much i love you
your mind
your mind
now i'm left behind
leaving the thought
of you touching my skin on my mind

Not a part of your heart anymore
mines sinking from the inside
i'm torn

I'm sore
so sore
how will i love anymore

my soul, is a void
that will shrink up inside me
I am close to losing myself entirely.

I look into the mirror
just a hollow spirit
with a solitary soul trapped inside me.

Everyone has their twisted corner
With secrets and scars
And dying stars.

No one ever understands
Lonely in the mist I am
On my knees, eyes bleed
No one there to take my hand

Every direction I look,
I Can’t see for more than a yard away
The sunset is due
End of the day
I’ll close my eyes
Breathe the pain away

Some days
You just aren’t ready for the sun to blaze
Lazy days
Close the curtain go back to sleep
Falling into abyss
Counting sheep

I hid my feelings so deep
That I can’t find them anymore

My heart is straining with every beat
It feels so sore

I’m giving with all I have left to lose

   I can’t do this anymore.

I wish to go back
I’ve done many things wrong
Loving you being one

I don’t want to have met you
But I’m glad i did
But it’s tearing me up inside
That you didn’t want me.

Love is such a perfect feeling
though it’s brought me to tears
Tore open my heart
   Letting loose to all my fears.

Put me in pain
  But it’s a change from feeling nothing
  Crying, hiding it. By standing in the rain.

It’s the piece of loose skin on the edge of your thumb

The eyelash that gets stuck in your eye

The rock in your shoe

The sock sliding down your sole

The runny nose that won’t stop running

The first sip of tea that burns your tongue

The hair in your mouth you can’t locate

The piece of apple that won’t come out from the gap between your teeth

I ****** in the streets
with my eyes
and my smile
it's an instinct if i haven't loved in a while

it's the most amusing
-to me, to tease
over-aged men
because i know they'll never see me again

Their sick minds of lust
they were left
they're alone
drinking lager, jacking off
to **** Hub on their phone

They should know better than to wink at the minor in the street.
Its gut wrenching to see
how many freaks you never really meet.

call me insane
Im a fool for pain
I deserve it
only a touch of my love remains

my heart paces for you
but id rather be your friend than nothing at all
if it was between you and me,
i'd choose for myself to fall.

Life isn’t so scary
When you have nothing left to lose
When you’re alone
When the light is running out from your fuse
You’re collapsing
Shutting down
Where’s the life left in you
It’s roaming around
Looking for someone worthy
To grow into

Walking along the dunes
Shells in my hand
Kicking little rocks
Sticking out of the sand.

Wind rippling through my shirt
Sun stroking my cheek
Looking out to the sunset, upon the sea
It's Freedom that I seek.

Body is weak
Hard to think
Water is deep
Try not sink

I project what we could be
In the depths of my mind
I wish you could see
What you’re able to find

You don’t need me
You want me
All just because you’re lonely

You romanticize my mental state
You think that its cool
To suffer from hate
Chemical imbalance you claim to understand
But when it comes to my pain
You seem so offhand.

It’s becoming hard to breathe at night
        When all my demons come to life
My worries weighing down my heart
         Tearing my whole world apart

If you can’t handle a heart like mine
Don’t waste my time.

I’m suffering
can’t you see
So don’t waste your time with me.

Why were you so obsessive
Why did you control
You used my body, broke my heart,
And washed away my soul.

How will I ever trust,
Another man again
If they’re messing with my feelings
How can I call them men

Tell me what I want to hear
Tell me that youll stay
Even though I know youll be gone
by the end of the day.

You cant just leave
Then a month later walk back in
Im trying to move on
From the pain you put me in.

You know I’ll be here waiting
You don’t know that’s what you think
You asked me to come over and stay
And that you’ll buy me a drink

So you can take advantage
Knowing I’m not sober
I wish you never messaged me a month later in October

I refuse your ‘offer’
You can’t walk over me
Just a pretty face, ugly personality.

I say i don't want you in my life
but you keep me up all night
and i know why
but i rather die than feel that way inside.
all that feeling has done is consume my heart and mind. Tearing open the void inside.

When will I hear it
The voice from the flames

When will I see it
The sky with the stars

When will I feel it
The heart with a beat

I know I’ll hear, see and feel it all
When we are to meet.

I can’t get over you
Though there’s nothing I can do
To make you want me
The same way I want you
I look for you in other boys
I hold their hand
And it feels right
Until I realise it isn’t yours
The left side of my heart wants it to be
The right side thinks it is
But it never will be

if you were to go to the beach,
into the sea,
far out
further, further.
place your head under the water and listen out
for the sounds of chains that seem so close,
that you could grab on and use as support to float
but really they're far far out, your eyes cant even see,
rusty chains grinding off one another, sour.

the sound seems so familiar
perhaps the time you tried to drown
your head slowly sliding under the water in the bathtub
holding your breath
thinking of nothing
but the sound of the pipes remind you of that video game you played, the one that made you curious

that in fact saved your life, the story you wanted to play over and over.
as every time you played you discovered something new.
it's beautiful, the theme song as your lullaby


maybe i was looking for an excuse to live,
the only thing that saved me was that video game.

How did chaos arise from such perfection?

The world still spins
But when I look at you
it stops.
Time stands still.
I can hear my heart.
Feel the thrill.

How do I explain
In words
My pain
It hurts
To contain
My feelings, In my head
From my eyes I bled
Face in red
I wish I was still,
And dead instead.

How do you manage
to make my life a living hell
but still,
become the sun on my perfect days
and the moon on my sleepless nights.

I was so scared to confront the realisation of my use
in your life
was none.

Every time I stare into my reflection
Blood starts to surface
I’m not one to be offended by rejection
But the reflection refuses my stance
I’d call myself an infection
The hairs on my neck start to dance.

I feel like an outcast from the world
I'm definitely there
But no one seems to care
Just because you can’t see me
It doesn’t mean i'm not there
I'm like the stars in the daylight
But you can see me clearly In the dark night
Isn’t it ironic the way I express
My mind feels blank but at the same time i'm a mess.

Please tell me i'm not as forgettable
as your silence is making me feel
listlessness in conversation
The white sky, blank. Sour air.
No emotion, no feeling

The rustling of the music on the radio
voices coming in and out of frequency
almost like the faint voices of myself in my ear
calling, begging for me to get over it.

I thought we were tessellated,
but were both a handful of hexagons
that just don't sit right.

The days are going so slow,
but my heart is beating so fast,
thinking about us.

The truth is,
you could break my heart in two,
but when it heals it beats for you.
Because love defines all,
everyone needs love,
you would let yourself get hurt
go beyond and above
over and over again just to prove to yourself
that they are for you,
just accept it!

...But its not for me to say stop trying,
because if he came back i would most certainly
lay my clothes down for him to walk over.
He is precious.
And he knows it.

I still loved you,
But stopped hoping.

Raindrops racing down the windows,
Condensed.
Igniting candles,
Wax dripping onto the sill.
Light growing dim.

Reminiscing,
Blueberry picking
Fresh smell of pine.
Purple fingers,
I saw you.
But you did not see me.
You never saw me.

As petals fall from the rose in my room
I lie shiftless not a clue what to do
The pillars of loneliness
I have one for each day,
Slowly the cement crumbles away.

Staring blankly at the corner of my room
When I think of nothing weary eyes
But when I think of you time flies,
I’d love to see you even if it was to say goodbye.

Head out the window incredible view
Though I’d rather see it with you
Clear sky breath of fresh air
But I don’t seem as happy when you’re not there.

Let me under your skin
Let’s share our sins

Why won’t you look into my eyes
Are you scared to fall
I’m tired of trying to keep the water warm
Trying to stop my heart from overflowing

But when I think of you
I always spill
Balancing a cup full of tears
I can’t let you know
How much you hurt me so
I can’t do this forever
I’ll always spill

Don’t talk to me
I’ll only break your heart
As mine only beats for one
But I’ll still lead you on
As the thought of someone loving me is a crave
Though I only crave it from one

Rusty pipes
Humid nights
Smell of acid rain

Street lights
Laddered tights
Heart hanging off a stalactite

Pain

tesknie za domu.
Chcę być w domu
gdzie czuję zapach drzew
co jest obok domu,
motyle zaplątały się w moje włosy
ciocia gotuje kotlet schabowy z mizeria,
i ciasto
do wielotowie szlismy pieszo, na lody ze swiezymi owocami
takie fajnie mm
gdzie osy latały i zjadły wszystko, co plamiło drewniany stół. :)

Do you remember
When we used to talk everyday
I thought we were something
But All along, I was the only one who’d stay.

Did I miss something
That you said
Or am I thinking too much
Whilst laying in bed

I wish I never met you
And was all alone like I am right now
but this time
Without you trapped inside of my head.

</3

Is there anything I can do to make you stay
Perhaps a way
Where I don’t need to undress, or impress
Some way, where I don’t have to stress

I can show you my love in other ways but lust
You set my heart on fire, blew the ashes away like dust
Ill give you all the love I have left in my hands
The fragile pieces I picked up, I found across the land

Although my hearts in ashes
The roaring flame burns bright
The match is still alight
It comes to use when it’s cold at night

Love can make you warm
Lust makes you unclean
When you tell me you love me
What do you really mean?

my life was built brittle,
as if wooden.
A simple toy, without a full set.
What remains, will fragment

But if I left this earth
my mum would be a mother to a ghost.

I'm a burden, a parasite held in embrace
my heart, mind and soul are all derelict.
Poor, abandoned, neglected...
but all at the same time as being used.

I see an ocean of lost souls
faceless bodies floating
lifting in waves
grey figures leading to no shore
they're stuck
trapped in this, something
it makes me emotional
it makes my want to cry
perhaps this is where we go
if we are to die?

I feel so psychotic
It’s a strange feeling
I hate having these episodes
No one finds it appealing.

Im brushing my fingers over ****** scars
Licking my sad blood
Im seeing stars
My eyes are starting to flood

I feel so bruised
My mind im starting to lose
If I wasn’t in your life
Youd have no one left to use

Im behaving as if a battery has fallen, out my works
Im acting half sane
I cant decide if im happy or if im in pain.

My heart is hollow
no more will I mend and maintain

Let it turn to rust
the shards will scatter
forgotten, left smothered in dust

The thick black clouds are expanding
I am no longer able to see the walls of my mind.
A hurricane swirling around my heart
no more love for you to find.

Stick knives in your eyes
Fight the evil and horror that lies
Incarnate your words
Into notes that slur
Stick picks in your eyes
Your vision will blur
Your wings will clip when your love roams
You abandoned your eyes
So you will guide yourself with not what you see but with what you hear
Face your fear
To come near and touch the skin of the poor hollow shell you made drown in tears.
She’ll make you sink in the void of sorrow.

I went out of my way
Wasted my day
Just to make sure you were okay

I have feelings
It seems you don’t
It feels like you’ve shoved a knife down my throat

You said lets stop talking
Right after I gave you advice
It seems like I had no other reason in your life

I wanted to ask why but didn’t want to be a pain
But now theres so many thoughts going through my brain
What did I do
Is it me or you
No ******* reason just give me a clue

Why do I always let this happen
To myself and my heart
Why me of all people did you have to tear apart
You know what ive been through
You knew that I was scared
Gave me **** saying I was pretending that I cared

I genuinely did
But now I know that I shouldn’t
If I knew this would happen
Obviously I wouldn’t

I poured myself out to you
My heart just froze
I felt It fall to pieces
Like petals from a rose

My eyes went cloudy
I suddenly stopped breathing
I cant believe
After all that
You said that you’re leaving

You’re so selfish
But in a way I understand
You fell through my fingers,
like bitter sand.

There’s a permanent pounding
In my head
Like a knock on the door
also coming from the floor
Following me everywhere I walk
It only gets louder when I talk
I try to ignore it
The voices everywhere
But when I do they turn into ghosts
And start pulling on my hair
I can’t escape my demons
I guess I’ll learn to live...

I really hope you’ll understand
That sometimes my words don’t come out as planned
I stutter and lisp as I say what I feel
Why was it my heart
That you had to steal.

I’m sorry that I’m so inconvenient
I’m sorry from the bottom of my heart
A lot of the time I wish, from the world
I was apart

I’m as disappointing as an empty wallet
But people give up so easily
If your name was as long as the universe
I’d still be happy to call it.

But you’ll give up on me
For you it’s too much to even smile
But I hope you know
That for you I’d crawl much more than a mile.

why is death portrayed as a negative
to be still is to be peaceful
how I wish for silence from my mind
to be static

I am an unfortunate without an escape
I don't belong here
I am not in the right place
I am errant


but then you think of the burden youd bring upon your family
im a burden both dead and alive.