Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Aug 2022 · 125
Sunday
Emilia B Aug 2022
Frostbitten fingertips,
Buttoning up my coat,
Echoing footsteps through the hollow bus station.
Grey clouds spitting rain,
Distant fog.
Hearing sniffles from people walking by.
Subtle coughs
Overgrown alleyways
Gloomy Sundays.
Aug 2022 · 111
Home
Emilia B Aug 2022
You felt like home
But home to me
Was staying up all night
Fighting
      Arguing
            Crying

You felt like home because you hurt me.
You sometimes made me feel safe,
Loved, cared for.
But I knew,
It always comes with a price.
Aug 2022 · 230
Blueberry picking
Emilia B Aug 2022
I still loved you,
But stopped hoping.

Raindrops racing down the windows,
Condensed.
Igniting candles,
Wax dripping onto the sill.
Light growing dim.

Reminiscing,
Blueberry picking
Fresh smell of pine.
Purple fingers,
I saw you.
But you did not see me.
You never saw me.
Aug 2022 · 94
Bad Habit
Emilia B Aug 2022
How long did I love you out of habit
I am the knife and the wound,
As I am the fire and the fuel.

Sunflowers weltering,
Not throwing them away,
Savouring petals
resembling breaking relationships,
But not letting go.
Jan 2022 · 426
Love
Emilia B Jan 2022
It’s the piece of loose skin on the edge of your thumb

The eyelash that gets stuck in your eye

The rock in your shoe

The sock sliding down your sole

The runny nose that won’t stop running

The first sip of tea that burns your tongue

The hair in your mouth you can’t locate

The piece of apple that won’t come out from the gap between your teeth
Jul 2020 · 199
Lovely
Emilia B Jul 2020
Rusty pipes
Humid nights
Smell of acid rain

Street lights
Laddered tights
Heart hanging off a stalactite

Pain
Jul 2020 · 125
Pirate
Emilia B Jul 2020
Ferry
No adults to be seen
Toilets perfect
Balloon boy seemed keen
Gentleman moustache
Lost little mouse
You have cake on you darling
Kissing my sweet mouth.
Jul 2020 · 134
younger love.
Emilia B Jul 2020
She told me she's falling in love
but i only see her falling

                                  
She whispered in my ear,

                                           "I'll hang off the rope
                                                          he made for me."
  

He told me,

       "She holds onto the chain
                        around my ankle."


In their dreams they exchanged,

               "To you, i'm the artery,
                                 that pumps blood
                                            through your heart."
they feel like they cant live without each other but they are a burden to each other too.
Emilia B Jul 2020
gnaw, crunch on glass
bleeding tongue
to create sand
if i swallow
i'll cough it back up
cause shes evil
ornery
esophagus
estrangement from all those before
growing disillusionment with love, *** and people.
or is that they're all doing it wrong.
cause they sure can't keep their hands off
love the right thing, love life.
Shaggy hair
Black liner
Starry smile

as Lana said:
    Money is the anthem of success
                                         so put on your mascara
                                                                ­ & your party dress.
to swallow sand* -to drown out the demons
to crunch on glass* - to suffer
keep going life is beautiful <3 both good and bad
way more than just that.
Jul 2020 · 253
Tights.
Emilia B Jul 2020
30 denier, nothing else
long legs
wet lips implanted on the glass
mellow heart, sultry breath,
condensed mirror
radiant friction, out of sync
from two outcast ladies
damp hair
humid walls
so right.

i will follow him by Peggy March
rustling in & out of frequency on the radio
indecipherable feeling
warm in here

she told me,loving her is like shaking hands with the devil
happiness is a butterfly
and its summer
so we're fine.

feel penitent
contrite
but we both do
so its fine
we'll go to penitentiary
its not love no
but we understand each other.
Jul 2020 · 73
the perfect girl
Emilia B Jul 2020
It's alarming, honestly how charming can she be
fooling everyone, telling 'hon i'm having fun'

you don't want to be like me
don't want to see the things i've seen

I'm dying,
                  dying

she gives them butterflies
bats her cartoon eyes
she laughs like god
her minds like a diamond

its alarming, truly how disarming can she be.

baby's all dressed up with nowhere to go
that's the story of the little girl you know.
relying on the kindness of strangers
tying cherry knots
       smiling, doing party favors.

put your dress on, put your lipstick on
sing your song the cameras on
and you're alive again.

darling, darling
doesn't have a problem
lying to herself cause her liquors top shelf.

you don't want to get this way
street walk at night, and a star by day.

It's tiring,
  
            tiring.
Jul 2020 · 82
angel
Emilia B Jul 2020
My mind is full of beatific light
glowing,
branches and vines untangle
revealing the path of which i've struggled to get through
i'll follow the wisp
in a shape of a bowling pin
so happy and altruistic.
Jul 2020 · 63
<3
Emilia B Jul 2020
<3
if you dance i'll dance,
and if you don't, i'll dance anyway

give peace a chance
let the fear you have fall away

like a barge at sea, in the storm you stay clear.

I've got my eye on you
I've got my mind on you
I'll put my red dress on again.
Jul 2020 · 59
say yes to life
Emilia B Jul 2020
short fitted slit dress
numb red cheeks
night sky
twitching lights
standing on the edge
of the bricked bridge
arms wide
wind in her hair
biggest smile
tears in her eyes
I LOVE YOU ALL
as cars cross under,
blinding headlights
glints from the mirrors
SONDER!
i love you all!
Jul 2020 · 162
Gubin.
Emilia B Jul 2020
tesknie za domu.
Chcę być w domu
gdzie czuję zapach drzew
co jest obok domu,
motyle zaplątały się w moje włosy
ciocia gotuje kotlet schabowy z mizeria,
i ciasto
do wielotowie szlismy pieszo, na lody ze swiezymi owocami
takie fajnie mm
gdzie osy latały i zjadły wszystko, co plamiło drewniany stół. :)
when times were better. i lived in poverty. but it was when i was happiest. life was and could be so much simpler :) im going to move back to Poland.
Jul 2020 · 53
i will heal
Emilia B Jul 2020
my mind spinning,
anxious, out of body
constant vertigo.
drop of a teaspoon
loss of focus.
i have to apologize and ask to repeat
cause i was reflecting on how right my discernment was.
and i chose to ignore it because i had hope
hope is dangerous.
im happier now,
though my physical self is not doing so well as a result of mistreatment. corrupted mentality.
but ill heal with time everyone does.
Jul 2020 · 46
perfect
Emilia B Jul 2020
Marble floor
Oven on
Shattered plate
Cracked tile
Stick n' poke
Rusty teapot
Poison air
Crooked table
-
you can have one nice thing, one happy smile, and everyone thinks your life is perfect. its beautiful don't get me wrong. when i imagine everything i worded it brings comfort. though the oven on reminds me of Sylvia Plath.
Jul 2020 · 89
I’m selfless
Emilia B Jul 2020
People appreciate you until they don’t get their way
No matter what you do right
A constant fight
I’m living for my self love now
not yours.
Jun 2020 · 66
Untitled
Emilia B Jun 2020
Plagued by nightmares
But I can’t give up now
Not now.
Jun 2020 · 62
That night
Emilia B Jun 2020
I don’t want to die
But it’s killing me from the inside
Adding deeper darkness to a night already lacking of stars
My tortured soul causes my body all kinds of sickness
Comfort over passion
My mind won’t stop replaying
The night I lost my dignity
The night I started losing
Emilia B Jun 2020
I was happy 7:00
9:00 A gush of death swept over me
I couldn’t move
I couldn’t speak
I couldn’t lift a finger
I cried till I passed out
I begged my mum
Not to leave my side
“Somethings not right”
I felt like I was dying
In and out of consciousness
***** on my face
Fear and panic are trying to **** me
The stress nearly killed me
My heart was rapid
I wish I didn’t feel things so strongly
Why do I think so much
I’m so weak my mind is so strong
I was given another chance
The morning never felt so long
The worst panic attack I ever had. I thought I was dying. I was praying to the natives. I didn’t think I deserved this. I don’t want to die. I’m so sorry to anyone who goes through this. I know I’m not alone
Jun 2020 · 67
Crow
Emilia B Jun 2020
They’re Immature over feelings and words
I’ll never be taken seriously
You could cut the tongue off a crow
And stick it down my throat
No one would take me seriously
NO ONE WIL LISTEN NO ONE WILL LISTEN
But that’s your choice
If you never learn you won’t get far In life so for your sake I hope you will.
Cut my tongue stuck it down my throat
Jun 2020 · 131
The static speaks my name
Emilia B Jun 2020
The
Static
Speaks
My
Name
I’ll go from where I came
Voices
They call me
The
Static
Knows
My
Name.
Jun 2020 · 68
Happy happy
Emilia B Jun 2020
Lost your point
Lost your dignity
and my trust
Time to build the dam again
It’ll take time
But I’ll be happier
I’m my own world
Jun 2020 · 47
Untitled
Emilia B Jun 2020
Will it be too late for you
Will I be happier
Looking down.
As people who looked down on me will look up
Where I gained my broken wings.
Emilia B Jun 2020
bricks on my chest as I sleep
I’m not fond of you but I keep,
Caring about what you say
You aren’t me at the end of the day
I’ll be the girl with the broken neck
Standing in your corridor
At the end of your bed
In your head
Stop stop stop
Be real
Listen to her weep
Maybe you then will realise
But probably not
Jun 2020 · 42
Still happier
Emilia B Jun 2020
Standing here
In the mist
Black tar flowing towards me
Blood and sweat dripping from my lips
Blood and tears from my eyes
Blood and infection from my heart
Venom from my veins,
dripping from my fingernails.
Shaking on the inside, flesh bubbling,
Skin still like stone.
Emilia B Jun 2020
They wear tissues in their ears
As I speak from my heart
Butchering my feelings
Into useless crumbs
I feel so unimportant
I waste my breath
If it’s not about you
You couldn’t care less
I listen to every detail
To help as much as I can
But why does no one hear me
Do you hear me
Please someone hear me
Please
My skin is turning inside out
Would you be able to see better
Can you see me
You never will.
Their Ignorance will **** me
Jun 2020 · 63
One of those many days
Emilia B Jun 2020
I made food
But I didn’t eat it
Waiting for it to pop out the toaster
Seemed like a lifetime
As I swayed in fatigue
Losing my feet
I hop into bed
Melt into the mattress
As nice as it seems
It’s exhausting
Jun 2020 · 106
So tired
Emilia B Jun 2020
Scream
Scream
Mouth so wide
The corners of my mouth
Begin to tear
Fingers tangled in my hair
pulling, no care
Hitting my head
off my tears it fed
i wish I was asleep instead.
Jun 2020 · 87
Ocean
Emilia B Jun 2020
I’m sorry if I hurt you
but it works both ways
We have to move on
Carry on with our days
Life isn’t simple
Until you look out into the waves
Jun 2020 · 64
Love
Emilia B Jun 2020
Having to get rid of something you wanted to be your first
I have to live with that
My love goes to anyone who’s gone through the same
You’ll be stronger than ever
I don’t even know your name
But I know it feels like you’ll never be the same
Hold my hand
The demons will go back, from where they came
Jun 2020 · 61
Selfish
Emilia B Jun 2020
You didn’t have to take the pills
You don’t have to take the scan
You didn’t have to *****
You didn’t have to be in pain
You didn’t have to be scared
You didn’t have to feel the ******* that traumatises you for weeks with no end
You didn’t have to live with my ***** body
Don’t dare say it was your stress
Because you have nothing else
Jun 2020 · 56
Untitled
Emilia B Jun 2020
Find someone else
To gaslight into insanity
I have no vitality
Left inside me
Lost myself entirely
As long as I have my family by my side
I’ll find myself
In them I’ll confide
Jun 2020 · 43
Untitled
Emilia B Jun 2020
Every time I hear a car outside my window
I think it’s you
My stomach churns.
I wish the whole year was erased
I wish I stayed home with my sister
I wish I was in her arms
I wouldn’t be suffering
I wouldn’t be punching my screen
I wouldn’t be dying inside
You’re killing me.
Emilia B Jun 2020
Pinky promises mean nothing all of a sudden
Oh what a foolish girl I am
For caring for the health of others
If you don’t hurt yourself I won’t hurt myself, I lived by it.
But you don’t care
So neither do I.
Goodbye.
I always hated the vulnerable side of myself
I know you so well yet you’re a stranger to me.
I’ll never go back to my own ways
Because I’m better than that
No more scars
I’d never hurt my younger self if she was to stand in front of me
So I won’t do it now.
Would you?
You wouldn’t.
So don’t.
But who am I to care anymore about you.
May 2020 · 70
Safe inside
Emilia B May 2020
Will you call me to tell me you’re alright
I’ll worry about you the whole night
Don’t repeat my mistakes
I won’t sleep till your safe inside
If your home I just hope that you’re sober
Is it time to let go now it’s over
I couldn’t leave you this way
I won’t sleep til you’re safe inside
These are lyrics from a song, that made me cry because they remind me of you
May 2020 · 76
Break
Emilia B May 2020
Better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all.
May 2020 · 83
You’re filthy to me.
Emilia B May 2020
Devil linger in my skin
Crawl up my spine
Your fingers down my throat
Your hand gripping my thigh
You’re so far but feel so close
You’re a fly I can’t get rid of
I’m wrapped in thorns
But you chose to cut the flowers
You made me feel ugly
I’m wrapped in barbed wire
But you chose to cut my wings.
May 2020 · 64
Fragile
Emilia B May 2020
First I freeze
Raging inside
Anger building
Gory wrists
Ill to the eye
Lost soul
Even you can’t save her
May 2020 · 68
123412341244
Emilia B May 2020
Worrying mannerisms
As she sits in her chair
Talking to herself
Unable to look in the mirror
As she is afraid she’ll maul her own skin off it’s flesh
She just wants to be happy
Feel normal and laugh
But she struggles to express
Even love.
it makes her cry
The wall just won’t budge
Apr 2020 · 622
In the wind
Emilia B Apr 2020
The tree sees everything
Kiss my knees before you go
You should do that
Look for me in every petal or leaf
In every wing of every creature
In her eyes, every feature
Apr 2020 · 46
Or
Emilia B Apr 2020
Or
Watch the kids from the pantomine
Lollop in a ring
The one hiding behind the scene
Plans to cut the rope
Chandelier landing in the center
Toes crumbling falling apart
Screams fly like sparks
But they can’t stop skipping
Would you rather not speak or die
Id die if I couldn’t say what’s on my mind.
Though I don’t really talk anyway I write that’s what I do
I’m silly, would you rather not write or die.
Not know a love language or die
Apr 2020 · 49
Untitled
Emilia B Apr 2020
You gaslight me into insanity
I’m not flattered by your vanity
Truth from distortion
You can’t deceive me
It takes a shattered mind to see
A white rose bleed.
Don’t you wonder
Don’t you sonder
First step possession
Second step control
Third violence
Don’t manipulate
Don’t guilt
I’ll hurt you more
sink my teeth in deep,
quench out the fluids in your brain
You won’t sleep.
Apr 2020 · 62
Keep your words
Emilia B Apr 2020
He flapped his gums
Spewing sore words
That came not from the heart
But the depths of delusion
We were not kindred souls
I don’t believe you could understand
But our tongues forbid to belong twisted.
Feb 2020 · 67
2/17/2019
Emilia B Feb 2020
A year ago today I tried to take my life
Placed rocks on my body
To stop me from floating
Looking up to the surface hoping
I’ll go quick
But each second felt like a minute.
Sunk, fearless.
Listening to the pipes
Underwater I thought I’d hear less
But my thoughts were louder than ever.
They blocked out the sounds of my brother crying to my dad over a broken toy
I couldn’t do this to them,
They need me more than I need myself.  
I guess I’ll live another day.
But my thoughts are so loud.
Static.
Emilia B Jan 2020
We were listening to the same songs
I was thinking about you
And you were thinking about her
I’m over you
I know my worth
I deserve more
I’m moving forth
That wasn’t love
That was pain
You’re ******* vain
You’ll never touch my skin again

You’re Heartless
I’m happy to say I really don’t need you at all.
Jan 2020 · 82
Capture
Emilia B Jan 2020
I keep replaying the same moment in my mind
Your hand stroking my hair
I never felt so much comfort and happiness
And I’m losing you
And I keep, replaying the same moment.
And collapsing, and breaking down,
Nauseous. Because I won’t feel it again.
Jan 2020 · 100
Ink from your tail
Emilia B Jan 2020
I’m a hostage to the abyss
Of torrent seas
I can’t find my feet
I can’t touch the ground
I’m struggling to breathe
Give me your hand
Or look me in the eye
Save me from this,
Ignite my fire.
You’ll hear the chime my eyes glow hollow
The black waves shallowing
The ink from your tail I’ll follow.
Jan 2020 · 85
You’re filthy to me
Emilia B Jan 2020
Devil linger in my skin
Crawl up my spine
Your fingers down my throat
Your hand gripping my thigh
You’re so far but feel so close
You’re a fly I can’t get rid of
I’m wrapped in thorns
But you chose to cut the flowers
You made me feel ugly
Waiting outside for hours
I’m wrapped in barbed wire
But you chose to cut my wings.
Next page