Buttoning up my coat,
Echoing footsteps through the hollow bus station.
Grey clouds spitting rain,
Hearing sniffles from people walking by.
You felt like home
But home to me
Was staying up all night
You felt like home because you hurt me.
You sometimes made me feel safe,
Loved, cared for.
But I knew,
It always comes with a price.
I still loved you,
But stopped hoping.
Raindrops racing down the windows,
Wax dripping onto the sill.
Light growing dim.
Fresh smell of pine.
I saw you.
But you did not see me.
You never saw me.
How long did I love you out of habit
I am the knife and the wound,
As I am the fire and the fuel.
Not throwing them away,
resembling breaking relationships,
But not letting go.
It’s the piece of loose skin on the edge of your thumb
The eyelash that gets stuck in your eye
The rock in your shoe
The sock sliding down your sole
The runny nose that won’t stop running
The first sip of tea that burns your tongue
The hair in your mouth you can’t locate
The piece of apple that won’t come out from the gap between your teeth
Smell of acid rain
Heart hanging off a stalactite
No adults to be seen
Balloon boy seemed keen
Lost little mouse
You have cake on you darling
Kissing my sweet mouth.