I've danced with the devil for far too long.
ive learned the lyrics to all his songs.
meanwhile my desire for good has gone.
and my debt to Jesus has grown.
How could I be so foolish?
Why must I be so wrong?

cigarettes
and perfume,

and minty gum,
smoking is bittersweet fun.

perfume to cover the smell.
I doubt perfume could keep me from
*HELL

heart in your large hands
legs weak, hard for me to stand
held captive to a evil man
I could leave, I know I can
but its scary out there
foreign land

I promised not to fall for you
quick sand
I promised not to love you
feelings banned
but I live for you

----your biggest fan

God has taken the taste
yet addiction,
I still chase.

My last few dollars,
I willingly give to waste.

I call it my crave case
when it hits,
it like landing on first base.

Its not home,
I'm not safe
I'm out when I meet him face to face.

We were nothing more than two young black
*******. Old in soul, too soon we became grown. Belonging to nothing or no one.
Together and alone...

We talked of marriage,
but I questioned my ability to be a
A committed lover.
I could never see the wife in me,
and I could not be his *mother

Unsteady and troubled,
I needed stability and security
he was in over his head,
the young boy,
couldn't be my *daddy

Why try to belong
To something
You have never known?
Distant lands
Unwelcoming arms
I have gone.

hatred met
bitterness
darkness has grown.
Homeless in
a home is her
personal song
singing these truths
writing these wrongs.

Be yourself
Even if that person
Is a stranger
Not owning it
is a far more
Evil danger.

be careful what you allow your eyes to see,

you may not never be the same.

be careful what your actions do,

your behavoir becomes your name.

be careful of the path you take,

to attain riches and fame.

And don't get too caught up in winning,

because we all lose at this LIFE game!

I break hearts by default.

I seek them. I find them. Devour them.

Then spit them out on paper.

I wipe my mouth, and roam cupids landing for more inspiration.

I'm forever this villain.

Accusations, I'm always facing.

I vow to no longer be used by men,
sacrificing my soul for the sake of sin.

I vow to never again confuse love with ***
gaining nothing, after giving them my best.

I vow to be a woman, no longer a *****,
because my heart and ****** is tired of being sore.

pretty when u cry

beautiful when u die

your eyes roll when I sigh

begging and pleading; I try

I fell in love with your hi

but you still broke my heart

with a lovely goodbye

Rare of your kind,
forever is your time.
Fine as red wine,
you live in my mind.

The light of your eyes
makes my soul shine.
Honey love, lemon drop
could you please be mine?

I love you
no, I'm lying
I want you
you see I'm crying!

a scent of repent
regret
angry with myself,
upset.

They put money on me,
I lost their bet.

Now I'm in need,
alone with my black hat.

it's not easy being me.
filled with anxiety.

it's not fun being me.
forever lonely.

it's not pretty being me.
especially the person I see.

it's not easy,
but it's my responsibility.

One more heartbreak
Added to my score
Liking you became difficult
Like a mandatory chore

One more heartbreak
Against my name
Paint me the bad one
Portray me to blame

I tried to warn you
prevent you from feeling blue
it went unnoticed
so here's a clue...

beware of lust
be slow to start
beware of love
guard your heart

she was innocent
and pure as snow.

as long as her true self was hidden
real intentention didn't show.

deep depths of secrecy
she would go.

miles to freedom
flying slow.

Who am I to deserve?
I was once a Queen,
but now I serve.

Who am I to dream of hope?
Just a sinner,
I inhale pain to cope.

Who am to exhale a wish?
Angels I've abandoned,
Demons I've kissed.

Who am I to wrestle with earth?
I afflicted myself,
that day, at birth.

In October I turn 24,

I don't want to feel young anymore.

If I enter as a girl

Could I leave a woman?

promise me this, or I'm not coming!

winter reminds me that the world is cold,

and sometimes I despise white, because of the snow

it gets dark early, so places I dread to go

winter *****, a **** it can blow!

I hate you winter... this you should know.

I hope she's happy
because I was not.

I hope she's honest
because I was not.

I hope she's sincere
because I was not.

I hope he understands her
I hope he respects her

I hope he values her
I hope he loves her

because he was unable
to do these things for me

three years of nothing
I sacrificed everything!

It takes two
to make a wrong.

but she has you
and I'm alone.

he left me
moved right along.

black ice

cold,

slick,

danger in disguise.


pained,

sick from the rain

clear cries

black eyes

sometimes I imagine myself
in a gold casket
pretty as ever
dressed in black
eternally sleep
from a heart attack.

Today I gave my crush a flower,
because no one has ever done it for me.

But it shrank from the summer heat,
it fried in my back seat.

The rose was pink,
how my heart use to be.

Now it's black
burnt from fury.

I was once a romantic,
but now I just want somebody to go to bed with.

As a child, I had it figured it out.
Until lust grew within me
Sin gave birth and *** came about.

Like a girl coming on her first menstuation,
blood on white sheets.
Or a boy having his first *******,
White fluid cream on dark sheets.

As an adult, I became impure.
Now, I know nothing.
Now, I am no longer sure.

I've been this way for so long
I never knew it was wrong
nobody cared,
concerns were not shared
so a ***** up I became,
But now I'm older
worries of my reputation,
trying to give some deep meaning to my name
while trying to master this ******* life game
even then still, I'm such a freaking mess!
I'm such a sad shame.

Looks in mirror with eyes closed...

Love is not real.
Love is not real.
Love is not real!

Opens eyes slowly
******.

Why do I still feel?

A blue liquid began to spill
at the moment I began to feel--------- LESS
....the puddle grew into a large mess
people began to crowd around
weak, I fell to the ground.
A lady asked, " Darling, what happened to you?"
He broke my heart,
and I was depressed already
so now I bleed BLUE.

writer's block
is far worse
than a **** block

creativity
is a caged bird
in a small box

words are a ******
but my legs
are tightly locked

thoughts come close
trying to reach
the G spot

but I gets no love
like a *****
in a ***** sock!

got addiction and crazy from ma side of kin

pa didn't offer much

except a bad temper and bad skin

what if
life is one sick game?
if I lose
my mind
the rules
and players
are to blame!

bathe me
since you long for intimacy
I'm here baby,
still you do not see

caress this skin
forgive this sin
give me passion
if you can

tell me I'm beautiful
if you dare
"look at me" said the mirror
I know you care!

turn off the lights
relax, don't fight
*and make love to
your body tonight

one man
two man
sin

three men
four men
when?

five six
heartbreak feels like bricks

I fell for his tricks,
I asked for love, he gave me d**k.

another body,
now I'm sick.

The boogeyman has a name
Indeed, he's real!
They call him Lust.
A haunting, I always feel.

regrets pile up in my closet
dreams disappear, as I forget what they meant.

fortune no longer comes my way
blessings are no longer sent.

the love boogeyman
haunts me from under my bed.

as I replay every heartbreak
in my broken head.

She likes  the boys
& the boys like her.

She makes the dog growl
He makes the kitty purr!

Some call it mating
I call it an animal affair.

To hate is to feel strong
but to be weak

to love is to be strong
but to feel weak

I looked in the mirror
afraid to sneak a peek

expected a coward
but behold there stood a lion!

The last supper
family, friends,
maybe lovers
gathered around
to pay last dues.

I watch from the corner
a smile on my face
nod my head
I miss you all too
but I am silent.

I am still,
I anxiously wait
as they pass around
my organs on a hefty platter
a genuis of a plate.

Finally able to pick my brain,
to feed my
hunger games,
and quench my
thirsty pains.

Life was hatred,
death was love
A mystery it truly was!
I sit with father
full with gladness
& glory from high above.

Love told me,
"I never did like you"

Embarrassed and heartbroken,

I yelled,
"Well, I'm starting to
hate your *** too!"

Too proud
To say I miss you
Now you’re gone
And I wish to kiss you
Pride and ego
Have always had this affair
Now my love
I’m willing to share
Wherever you are
Smile because I want you back
with you I can breathe again
No more asthma attacks

I always thought when I found true love
my problems would go away
so I accumulated crushes
but the problems kept coming day by day
the issues never left
and those lovers never stayed
maybe I've been doing this love thing the wrong way
but I'll keep at love
because being broken is never okay.

we were too young to understand
I was not yet a woman, you weren't a man
even still, we did the best we can
the both of us lost in LaLa land

you gave me more than I could ever ask
though loving me was no easy task
way too fragile, I broke the glass
quits you called it, way too fast

your heart fell to pieces, my tears fell down
our love laid helplessly on the ground
from my nightmare I awoke, but you weren't around
vanished through my dreams, never again to be found

Last night
in my dream...

I kissed
the sweetest thing...

I always
fall in love,
when I'm not
trapped
in lust.
once I break free
I'm reminded
of the deep, black, cold, and captivating hole
that is me.

Not sure if he's really crazy
or dangerously hot.

I crave him sometimes,
most times, not.

I fall in lust often
love? not alot.

I was prepared for the chase,
but nobody warned against the caught.

Soft like the petals of a flower
Kiss me while I'm sweet,
I'm bound to go sour.

Hard as the rarest stone
Touch me now,
I'll soon be gone.

Have me if you dare...
But remember in love,
All is fair.