out of the arm of one love
and into the arms of another
I have been saved from dying on the cross
by a lady who smokes ***
writes songs and stories
and is much kinder than the last,
much much kinder,
and the *** is just as good or better.
it isn't pleasant to be put on the cross and left there,
it is much more pleasant to forget a love which didn't
work
as all love
finally
doesn't work ...
it is much more pleasant to make love
along the shore in Del Mar
in room 42, and afterwards
sitting up in bed
drinking good wine, talking and touching
smoking
listening to the waves ...

I have died too many times
believing and waiting, waiting
in a room
staring at a cracked ceiling
wating for the phone, a letter, a knock, a sound ...
going wild inside
while she danced with strangers in nightclubs ...
out of the arms of one love
and into the arms of another
it's not pleasant to die on the cross,
it is much more pleasant to hear your name whispered in
the dark.

Darling if you say you love me, I will never leave.
Darkness, all surrounding never ending, consumed me starting
from my very soul, but I had no right to mind it.
My world changed from the moment I have met you, it was
alike a candle which has been lit, emitting gentle, golden, yet
still dim light, becoming warm, bright...dependend of this flame.
The darkness, has no way to lose I thought to myself, as I threw
my mind into the book which I was carefully reading.
After all, it is everywhere, patient and generous,
Just wating for its chances to get to ones soul
Under my feet as I desire to take a walk,
In my food which I must consume once I am feeling hungry,
In the wood, which gentle burns away by a campfire.
But seeing you, I have come to one realisation,
In its greatest strengh, relies its greatest weakness,
After all,  a sole candle is able to make it back off
But dear, love is way more than a candle,
It gave me a whole bright star and made it shine.

~ Umi

I miss you.
That part's pretty obvious.
But there's more to it.
I miss stuff that didn't even happen.
I want to hold you like I never held you.
I want to kiss you.
I want to meet your parents.
I want to do everything.
But I can't.
Because you're gone, and she's here.
I said she was gone, but she's still here.
She's been waiting.
She doesn't know it, but she's here.
She can't take your place, but she's getting close and I can't stop her.
I don't want to.
I want to have a chance with someone.
I want 2 months to be pebbles.
I want to have something worth having.
But I'd never let it be about what I wanted.
Because I'm durable.
I can take whatever you throw at me.
I'm more durable than John Legend when I'm on a bad day.
All of me loves all of you.
And when he "Used to love U" I still do.
I can hit a curve and your edges are so sharp, a cut would be a compliment.
And maybe I should rob somebody.
Hell, I would if you told me to.
But for now, I'll just stay on the end of this rope,  waiting.
So here's where you get to decide.
Pull me up so I can be with you, or cut the cord and let me fall.
Don't worry, I've got a parachute, and she's waiting for me at the bottom.

The wind beats out it's
slow steady song
through this hollow city.
We were told to expect rain.
Half a pack in and still
nothing.
I saw lightning hit water once.
It awed me in ways nothing
has since.The power of nature.
It changed me.
Nothing profound, just a simple
muted difference in me.
You never noticed.

The buildings act like instruments,
played like expert jazz musicians.
I sit here in the window,
as the smoke makes it's lazy
circles around my hand.
It could almost be playful
as the music of the wind reaches
yet another crescendo of
awesome power.

I remember bruised nose and scraped
knees,bee stings and Popsicle sticks.
I remember when snow was not
another in an ever growing list
of enemies.

I focus on the trash cans and bits of
paper. They dance in the music
like manic asylum residents.
I have to concentrate on something
or I'll be alone with a declining pack
and these kiss shaped scars.

We were told to expect rain.
I fell asleep waiting for it.
The ashtray was left overflowing
and the wind never let up.
Like a lullaby it rocked me gently
as my mind wandered.
I missed the rain.

I saw lightning strike water once.
It could change me again.

Through the glass of wine as she pears waiting for him passed the moment right as she endured ,an eye on the door an eye on the glass for may he commeth at last as the grains of the sand fall a single crystal rolled down her cheek as reminded of the quote he spoke may he live not taken by fate we shall meet again

This waiting game is slow and painful and killing me!

Within the space of mind you dwell
wating, watching for the slightest bit of light
you watch, quietly lurking , antisapaiting fun
eyes pierceing the darkness
teeth as sharp as a knife
you see it in the far distance

You wait quietly antisipating...
it moves closer,closer
inching it's way toward the light
NO! block the light, block the monster!

He moves so quickly now
sliding like a snake, slithering on the floor of my mind
ready to attack, wating to attack
Fear rises
washing away the light
Defeat washes over me
He's won once again
The darkness once again
pervails.......
MONSTER

I stood in a line of
              collected thoughts.
Each waiting to be served.


The line like a funeral procession,
                       slow motivation.
The moments that collect at the end
              packaged like meaning something.

But everyday I slumber in these wastes
                                                     of my life,
Creation is more than this, just walk away..

without
a sound, you slide down,
poetic dreaming
screaming loudly.
I was so wrong

there is a seperation

a pain of seperation

such as a seperation

that only lovers specialise in

where the prevention of thought

is like a fortress overrun

where trampling terrains of concern

stampede upon the praire of the mind

transforming it into a soft savanna

of wating engagements

that murmer with comforing enchantments

lays upon such pain of seperation

as that of a perforated scar

seared across the heart

bringing tickles of soft warm tears

to the cheeks

the happist time becomes

a chasm only conquerd

by that gulping unification

of embrace

where soft burning lips

meet in that unknown

but express language

of clasped reunion

it is that pain, that awful pain

that only lovers know

"Fill me up, steam me up, hear me shout, tip me over and poor me out. Poor me out on the concrete, next to your feet. Do I have to cry? How can you hear me? Oh, Just to be with you"



I want to scream at the top of my lungs,
Oh, please notice me.
Don't call me man or bro....
It breaks my heart everytime.
I look at you and think of the times we have
spent together, few, but amazing.
And after them, how can you see me just as a friend?
How can you pull me close and dig your face into my neck
and not think I don't want more? You fell asleep in my arms as
we watching the lightning. How many hits can I take?
I feel bliss around you and all I want to do is kiss you,
but I fear if I tried you would deny me and say that you don't share the same
love for me as I do you.


"You look at me holding on to a dream that filled me long ago, but I'm still wating. I'm still holding on"

Laying here alone thinking.

Thinking of the choices i’ve made.

Wondering if i’ll be able to speak again.

It’s 2 AM, and i’m all alone.

Like the period at the end of a sentence, this story has ended.

Like many before it.

But when the next one comes along, and you wanna make a memory out of it.

Just look up. There’s a semi-colon there, wating to write your story.

Embrace it, feel it, let it consume your very existance.

And after all, let it be your guide.

For once, 1 simple character be so little but seem so important.

Wayne Gretzky once said, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”.

So take the shot. Take the risk. Maybe you’ll learn from it.

We all make mistakes in this world. And ways to fix them.

But unlike pencils, we don’t immediately have erasers to fix our mistakes.

Because we choose to embrace things differently.

If only we looked up at the stars to explain why these things happen to us.

Because to us, those stars are magnificent.

Here I am, laying here in the dark. With the night stars shining bright.

Ready to write my story.

Wanting, we all do.
Needing, we deny it.
But we all do.
Desiring for satisfaction until satisfied.

This is a factual state of mind.

Money, doesn't pleases everyone.
Only some.
***, isn't wanted by everyone.
Only some.

But desiring lives within us to seek pleasure and joy.

the feeling inside , i cannot describe not anger nor sadness , a certain kind of fustration. i am different in some strange way. feelings come and go yet this has stayed. All for a reason. never knowing why. for i am an embryo wating wanting coveting for the one day i will emerge into something beautiful. i wasnt always this way. the only way to save myself is they way ive avoided for all my life. please? hello? where are you? come here and save me. i cant resist you, its just not enough to say that i miss you. there is so much left to be said but i just might as well be better off dead. but ill stay alive and the reason why ill stare at the beautiful night sky it leave me breathless the same way you do , but ow could i covet somthing ive never had so badly. i am the laste spring blossom. while others bloom each in their beautiful ways shapes and forms i stay a bud. most wont pick it because its not a beautuiful flower but beauty is fleeting and one day while all the other flowers end there peak and whither away. i will thrive. thrive better than anyone elese ever way some day mabye one day baby. you will find out who i am.please? hello? where are you? some here and save me . there is so much more to be sead but i might as well be dead. i cant resist you , its not enough to say that i miss you. im not in denial this is my last trial to accept this bittersweet illusion from the moment we are born we slowly die. screaming at the thin door that seperates fact from fiction. its all just a dream. forever running in place it wont be fast enough. ive lost all controll but this path has taken a toll. ill figure this out all on my own. blurry eyes please look at the beautiful night sky. it wasnt always this way . someday mabye one day baby

another year  has started another year ahead

the old one has gone bye the past put back to bed

start again a new make things go your way

take it nice and slow take it day by day.



set your sights ahead make your dreams come true

everthing you wish for is wating there for you

take it your stride welcome each new day

then everything you want will surely go your way

Going nowhere

Glory lost.

Wating until death.

wasting time, wasting space.

Forcing affection and relationships

I feel like Dante betrayed-
        any hope I see turns out to only ruin me further

grinding. hollow. scared.

I can't go on.

Warm enough to wrap around you.
Warm enough to comfort you.
So, warm to even hug you.

Realize, these arms are waiting.
Waiting for you.
Waiting for you.

Two hands to reach out for you.
And, if I only had one.
I still could caress you.
And  if push comes to shove.
They can  even please.

Just comprehend.
And believe these words.
These arms are waiting.

Waiting to comfort you.
These arms are waiting.
Waiting to hold you.

To be touched offends many.
And rightly so.
But when I touch you.
You won't ever let go.

Just know.
These arms are wating.
Twenty four hours a day.

and the sun have waited all day long
better to say
the sun had wasted all the day
wating for the night to come
to feel and see what it would never can
the beauty of the dark and the silence of the night

at the other hand
it lended its brightness
to a full pale moon that happily sees
the sun and the light
the day and the night
the light and the dark

but shamefully hides one of its faces
the scary one
the bruised one
surely that one which really needs the light

After your kiss:
I shut my mouth,
to not lose its taste by talks
irrelevant to berries at all.

After your touch:
I lock my grip,
to stop the dust of time,
from wiping it.

After your hug:
I embrace myself
like a wating fetus for
arriving to the world as a jesus
reading your heart's verses
Over the strayed out of your eyes' lanterns
To be drunk!

Shattered. Break of the loss
What is of the fault? Mines, I want to believe.
Yours? Impossible. Or what I wish to think...
Yet words you speak of me. I feel the razor.
Sweet addiction. Please stop.

Could this be real? Could you?
Your true face? No. It can't be.
Every ******* attempt you stray to my side.
Push away. Ignore of what "was"
Hoping you'd stay away.

The small moments, we share. I want to cry out,
"Who exactly are you pretending for!?"
Never wating to see everything is a lie
But it was all "then." Drifting in ashes.
****** past. Vital vein, keeping me from saying
"Goodbye."

wordless extended hands
from those months of moments
treasure maps torn and buried
in soft sand scorched of life
seeds wating for soothing rain
to grow and accept exhalations
and return the breathes fuller
what could be said would never explain fully
it must be sung
vibrations of those learned lessons still echoing
returning as unlearned ones
future is past's mirror
and there are still chasms to explore
a warm hearth waiting to be built
an unmade cabin deep and far in the forest
counting your credit score, looking at the green line patiently
throngs of wanderers looking up to the balcony
the conjunction benefiting more than just those present
love without possession

As the wolf walks
we watch a wating his
next move as we await his
next move we thinck how buetifull
this creature is and how we are the same
with home with him connected to him like smoke
in the wind and we are home and will never leave but to go home

when the autum comes the leaves they turn to brown

as they start to wither they start falling down.

grass that was so green starts to loose its shade

as tempratures start changing its green begins to fade.



trees are standing empty of foliage that was there

all we see are branches and a tree so bare

wating for the spring to grow again once more

and be green again like they were before.



a season of the year  that i just love to see

a lovely part of nature  that brings such joy to me

You left no more sorrows
The shadow of the day will be suffered tomorrow

You bleed it out,Given up as you are powerless
With hands held high leave out all the rest

The Tinfoil burning In the skies as you burn it down the castle of glass

One step closer in breaking the habit,the final masquerade
Meteora the catalyst Iridescent the heavy pain cause nobody is listening

From the inside lost in the echo wating for the end to come
The little things give you away easier to run

In pieces until It's gone no roads left
Blackbird the messenger mark the graves

We are guilty all the same crawling till we faint hit the floor
Run away in the forgotten wastelands a line in the sand

With keys to the kingdom with a good goodbye
Sharp edges papercut halfway right as he say sorry for now in the end

America written on your lady of liberty statue in new York harbor
You ask the tired poor weary those yearning to breath free
And we are here hiding in the silent shadow of that statue
Wating in articulate rage for our change to come
We cry out to you from the thousands in job lines
From the welfare lines and cheap bargain stores
While eating the corner store's high priced make-believe steaks
And bullet proof beans that make up our daily bread
The American dream for us is quickly becoming a home grown nightmare
Even while we're awake and slowly the great horn of plenty is running dry
For we are overworked,overlooked,underpaid,victimized
And forgotten in this land of the free and home of the brave
The money eagle still flies, but too high for the poor to catch
Blacks Whites Yellows Browns all sing the blues of hard times
Some off key and some on key Congressmen and city council legislate themselves higher salaries and less days to work along with longer vacations and more fun times
Democrats are doing it to their secretaries,while the Republicans are doing it to the Nation
Taxes are high and utilities too
The cost of living is going up while the chance at living is going down
Food stamps are cut in half as hunger cuts human throats
As our world turns people in other lands are watching us too
The want for a better life clings like a bad season
Povery's sorrow slides past the cheap wine inspired laughter
The stolen *** moments that blot out everything but the intense need
Can I get a witness?

Under The Christmas Tree
Under the Christmas tree I set.
Wating for my Christmas gifts.
A car, a truck a bike would be nice.
I ate all the cookies and drank the milk
Better for me than old saint nick.
It's getting really late and I can't wait.
I have to go ***, but I don't want to miss him.

Now that I went I just can't believe gone 5 mins.
He was here and gone.
No truck, no car and no bike.
A sox full of rocks and a note.
It said,"better luck next year you drunk!"

talking and learning
ive got a lot to say
sometimes
but other times
i sit and watch
i guess its a matter of input
or what i can learn from
he talks like the ocean
large and small
lips plush and pink wating to speak
to tell me what ive done wrong
but cant you see?
i wont answer
im just learning

The cage in which I've imprisoned myself seems inescapable
The walls seem to be closing in
And my screams are not audible to anyone
No one can free me from this cage save for myself
I've alienated and isolated myself to the point that I can no longer interact with anyone
I'm completely shut
I need to open up
I've loved and lived loneliness for far too long
To the point that now I can't quite enjoy company
There are countless words to speak
So much I want to share
All the pain...The sadness...The joy
So many secrets buried in the deepest corners of my heart
There's so much love that I want to give
Then why can't I seem to do it?
..Why does it seem so difficult to talk to someone?
I need to fight my fears and insecurities
And just communicate
I need to make an effort and reach out to people around me
Or else I fear going completely insane some day...
...Lying all alone in a room full of darkness and my bed of tears
...Wating for my time to bid goodbye

i'm wating for you
you don't arrive
but
i still wait
for you

My bones ache my soul is crushedi
All alone my thoughts my eyes red
All slone I  sit
All alone I try to find the blackened light
Can anyday jere me
The razors edge
The mystique of  a Lost wondered
I ponder
All alone
What would it be like to be with another
I sit here alone sith my my ruminating thoughts
The slick sharp razors edge
What would it be like
As I  sit here a broken man
A glimmering Ray of  my
Of my blackened self
Just is trying to find a light switch
My bones ache and my soul is cdussjdd
All alone
And justI sit
Sitting and wating
As the snail moves,slowly across the razors edge
Im just TIRED

I fear the light
all I know is the darkness
that is around me
there is no light
there is no window
even if there was
I would be to scared to go near it
so I sit against this wall wating for a sign that I’m free to go
but intel then I’m stuck here feeling alone with the darkness

I walked upon
an empty grave
gravely sobbing
of lost hopes
hoping to throw its ghost against
the people
they ran, knowing nothing but the status quo
angry with themselves
suffering in denial.
suffering in a gas station parking lot, I
am waiting to hit the floor
wating for,
wait, what am I waiting for?
the silence to be filled back with people, even though
there is a constant fear of people
I'd rather be in fear than be alone
with nothing but a cigarette and heartache
I felt drowned out by the rain
but don't be mistaken
the rain falls from my eyes hitting the ground
so loud
that silence goes quiet
and there is nothing
but city lights
and the air
and all the people
and everything else there was before

Its a fact of life ..Mand greed and need for more
Will one day be his failing himself ever so
His religions almot equal pigeons closed minds
But the many outcomes are out og his hands to know

Its true its been said put to bed in the back of his head
Plus comes a day everyone ages and dies moves on
Man wating his time with his games ever so fine
After whach another civilization neve to hear his song

As its said ... So far the Earth has had four aeons and we are now living in an epoch ... “wise life”) in which the thoughts, deeds and creations of human beings will ... even smaller asteroid could have disastrous consequences for humanity.

Well over time to show love for one another

terrence michael sutton
copyright 2018

Deep down in the sea wating on you god bless