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Moments Before Feb 2013
I know, life starts the moment eyes hit hospital lights.
And I know just how seeds even when buried, suffocated, and drowned still make their way out.
And I know that currents couldn't push, without a mountain to run down, or a storm free itself.
I know we are the most complex, self loathing bright eyed artistically inclined destroyers.
And I know it so deep down that bones couldn't hold us together without the rest of our features.
I know that songs can't be sung without the willingness to inspire, and bring like souls together.
And I know tattering of twigs hitting glass the flashes of lightening and rumbles leave sinking guts.
And I know buildings are only going to get higher and technology more advanced.
I know that feelings will be misplaced and people are gonna stop doing what they can't.
And I know that important things like thoughts and sharing will be a thing of the past.
And I know that crumbling skyline hold more tears then lung disease cancer ash - tapped into a tray.
I know we give up the moment people turn blind eyes no gaze looking away.
And I know we treat our youth like fend for yourself stays hungry biting their legs.
And I know we treat our family worse then our enemy every day.
I know vibrancy is coveted by nature
more precious then jewels, but we are the only creature.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zob5O3nyqYI
JB Claywell Feb 2017
She’s a ******
ruiner.

She’ll take the
best you’ve got

and use it
to choke the
life out of anything
good.

It’s never her fault
either.

Never.

It’s life, or God,
or Karma, or even
******’ Wednesday
that gets in her way.

“Please!” she says.
“I’m under enough
pressure as it is.”

Like I’m trying to…

All I want to do
is the work.

Can’t do it,
if I’m in the same
building as
a
ruiner.

*
- JBClaywell
© P&ZPublications; 2017



If you want more, click the link:  http://www.lulu.com/shop/jay-claywell/gray-spaces-demolitions-and-other-st-joe-uprisings/paperback/product-23035217.html

Thanks.
JM Apr 2013
With a dry mouth and bound feet,
I ponder your undoing.
Seeing you
reduced to a quivering mass
of gellied flesh
is going to make me feel quite satisfied.


Quite satisfied indeed.

I won't be worried about who is right or wrong.
I won't be thinking of egos and consequences.

My mind is made up
and some beatings are in order.

I will have one goal and that
is to inflict pain and suffering
on you and your entire family.

Every last stinking one of you fat stupid *****.

You see, you think you know me, and you are correct. You do. You know me better than most.
You don't know this part.
You have never seen what I am capable of,
what I have done.
  
You know not the lengths of great
personal sacrifice I will endure
just to see you bleed,
*******.

I will stew
and brood
and contemplate
and daydream about
your mouth caving
under my fists.

*****.

I'm going to take
what little manhood
you have left
and completely destroy
everything left to do with it.

Nothing can save you,
my mind is made up.
You have no hope.
I don't have to wonder
if I will see you,
I will.
Be ready to bleed.
My mind is made up.
Nothing can save you.
Nik Krutilla Oct 2012
Creating
that fallacious intimacy
wrapped
arm around arm
with a nameless
body.
It's easy to get
temporary satisfaction
from it.

Even though
you're chilled
and hollow inside.

The want
of not being lonely
can be too strong.
Keeping up
the exhausting task
of costant contact.
Never really
developing
a bond deeper
than physical sedation
can tire out.

It will ash away
as soon as you move
an inch
in that position
which is holding
unstably present.
Distance
would be the ruiner
of that
shallow fantasy.

But...
to be hundreds
of miles and moments
away from someone.
To be
alone and removed
from the one
who you have
a real, unrelenting
connection with.
To know
you are singular
in that very moment
but not unsupported.

Having them
somewhere you're not,
holding onto your
spiritual thread.
To achieve real
intimate foundation
in knowing the body
doesn't have to tie you
together.
That's an ember that,
when set to breathe,
engulfs you both.

Understanding
and feeling comfort
that when surrounded
by faces
and being unknown to them
is alright.
Since
that person
who lingers in your mind
Is a whisper
off your lips
and is there
in that place you
left them.

They've penetrated inside
that fortress of caution
and self-preservation and
they get you.
They are there,
hidden
and carried with you.
With their hands
cradling and cherishing
your heart
like the treasure
it is.

The enormous responsibility.

To be
the keeper of
warmth and familiarity
and home.
Even though
being separated
from one another
you are reminded of what
exists between you.

By
concentrating and honing
in on the weight
which lives
there.
That love
and loyalty
and equal respected commitment
to take care of what
the other is given.
The total
vulnerable
surrender of
yourself.

That is something
worth wanting.
That is something
to daydream for.
That...
is what we all
crave.


*© NDHK
Restivo Jun 2010
Dear *******,

          This is the hateful letter. This is the one in which I tell you how much of a ****-head you are and how I am so much better off without you, so thanks for leaving me. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. This is where I tell you that you’re an idiot if you ever thought I depended on you for my self-worth, because I don’t need you for validation, and I never have. I was trucking along just fine before you came along, and will continue to do so without you, so you can go **** yourself.
          This is the part where I call you a dumb-*** for saying all those things you said. If you weren’t trying to hurt me, you must be an idiot to think that it was a good idea to say what you did. I’ll tell you that it ****** me off to realize that you obviously didn’t know me as well as I thought you did. It ****** me off that our communication was clearly not functioning like it should have been.
          And I’ll tell you how ******* livid it makes me that you just sat there and thought and thought and ******* thought about this while I was still writing ******* poems for you. I am angry at how oblivious I was, which I also blame on you. I blame you for being so introspective and quiet, for needing to think important issues through in your head, only with yourself, before you can voice them, and I am angry because you thought and thought and ******* thought and made a decision that was logical from the inside of your head and you were confused by my reaction because, surprise! Owen’s-head-logic is not the same as Katie-is-being-broken-up-with-logic. And that’s where your speech faltered, where I stopped saying the lines that you wrote for me in your script, and that’s when all of those stupid words came tumbling out of your stupid head and things continued to not go as planned and it all eventually cumulated in this: zero contact. I know it’s not what you wanted but you’re a dumb-***. If you were smarter about it, we may still have been talking, but you said all of the exact wrong things. So I am angry at you for hurting me with your idiotic words, but I am also angry at you for pushing me away. I may have liked to still be talking to you, but all of the **** that came out of your mouth just ruined whatever chance we could have had, so way to go. You are a ruiner - and so concludes the part where everything is always your fault.
          This is the part where I understand where you’re coming from, I would have broken up with me too if I were you, I know it’s hard for you to put your words together sometimes, I know your (brutal) honesty only comes from a place of love, I know you love me, I know you miss being my friend…and so on.
          That last section makes me sadder than I am willing to be at this point, so I think I’ll stick with anger for the time being and you can **** my nonexistent ****, *******.

Your Ex-Girlfriend.
Lyra Brown Dec 2012
Missing the bus and
Being late for work
Is the #1 day ruiner of all time.
jenna Sep 2018
‘it’s possible to love her
even after all of this’
pills
needles into arms
spoons with burnt bottoms
passed out on the floor
drooling
skinny
starving
convulsing

i knew when you
lied about being over it
you were still skinny
i saw the needle marks
in the crook of your elbow
i saw the spoons
in the back of the drawer
i knew when you
made me go home so soon
your dealer was also your affair
your husband, your ex lover
your ex life, the opposite of living
you’re dying
you are dying and it is your fault
and i have run out of empathy
yes it is a disease
yes it starts as a choice
yes
you were depressed
but you still
you.

you said.

“who cares i want to die anyway
who cares i’ll ruin my body
my brain my
relationships
my life”

the hope has left your eyes

what’s it like to look up to a destroyer
what’s it like to love a broken woman
what’s it like to watch the progression
the regression
the walking backwards
one step forward but if you say
“just one more time”
it’s 5 steps back
10 steps back
20
30
the cut is deeper
the scars are darker
and you are gone.

what’s it like
to admire an addict
to be denied what you had
to be ignored
questions go unheard
“where have you been?
is everything okay?
i miss you.”

you see the inevitable
you hope it turns out different
you hope she is the one in a million
to miss a ruiner
to cry over the loss
to realize that
you distanced yourself for this exact reason

it is sickening
and you ask
“what if”
but “what if”
isn’t
“what is”
so you vow to never go down that path
so you pray you will break the cycle
so you progress
one step at a time.
to admire an addict
in my case
was to love someone who was
considered unlovable
broken
falling apart
“****”

i cannot blame myself
but that is easiest
to blame myself
for the inevitable.
Sarah Daniels Feb 2016
I have all these desires
Wrecking my steady mind
To correct all that is broken
If it means ruining a life

Some of us need to be broken down
To be ripped at our very core
To be torn into a thousand pieces
And left without any hope

Some of us deserve nothing
Insurmountable tragedy till the end
I want to be the ruiner
To expel those who can’t comprehend

There is no reason for your pitiful life
If you cannot think for yourself
You are nothing and you are nobody
And no one can help

Insanity is drawn to me
By the healing energy I exude
I love with all of my heart
Like I have nothing to lose

I wish that I could shut it off??
And learn to hate and ruin
Instead I listen to all of the chatter
And give in to the illusion

There is nothing I want to heal for anyone
I rather leave it all behind
I don’t want to be what I am either
I rather watch everything die
Cassandra Jarvie Mar 2015
I can’t draw you with words,
but the color of your eyes
can be aptly describes
with the hues of cornflower
and Persian blue.

The sketches of your laughter
cannot be drawn or seen,
but the drawers in my head
can be pulled out
and see, your smile repeats itself!

Time spent with you
will fly away in the wind
but by the lamplit flow of words
my minutes spent on you
will stick to these pages and dry into
constantly blooming memories.

So my dear,
      even when you’re far away
      bent over the nuances of a fishing hook,
      this little notebook will hold the scraps of time
      I’ve kept pressed inside
      preserving the moments like cats in formaldehyde.
It's nice to remember
Taylor Cuomo Jun 2014
Illness
Sickness
Disease
Lets not sugarcoat the truth

Curse
Life Ruiner
Murderer
That is more like it

Cancer had found it's way
and planted a home
Right. In. My. Mothers. Throat.

Putting a hold on her life
on my fathers
my grandmothers
my brothers
mine.

Now out of her throat
and out of her life
she struggles with recovery
and is left to pick up the pieces
this heartless, cruel, monster
has left behind.

Cancer had finally found a new home
my home

Because even when it is gone..
It is never really gone.
My mom is my inspiration and I wish things would get easier.
JM Jun 2012
**** man, how are you
going to get out of
this one?
I guess you are going to have to tell the truth.
But some people do not want the truth
some cannot give the truth to certain loved ones,
others believe that the truth is what must be spoken in every word.
But its like walking back down the mouth of the cave,
to the prisoners still shackled, watching shadows, and trying to explain the sun and the trees.

I would have better luck
trying to

**** this wall

than trying to get you to
understand something
which seems so obvious
to
anyone,
everyone,
but you.

Maybe we are wrong,
maybe you are an enlightened one, come to save our poor wretched souls.
But that seems highly unlikely dear, for you are far too selfish,
and shallow,
and oblivious to reason and accountability.

A line has been crossed,
that which has been done cannot be undone.
But are you so ******* arrogant
that you think you
are not worthy of forgiveness?
Do you think
your crime is
so bad you are beyond redemption?

You think you have leverage, but your fulcrum is weak and I am persistent and voracious.

The ruiner,
your precious
little nickname for me,
carries more significance
than the
destruction
of your

sweet honeycunt, darling.

You never should have given me that stupid ******* painting.

I have known what a vile creature you are since the moment I laid eyes on it and I have carried that knowledge with me.
You forget how intuitive and analytical I am. You forget how well I read your every glance and subtle body gesture. You forgot how much smarter I am than you.

Your inconsistencies make sense now,
now that I have accepted you as a liar.
Your patterns are predictable,
which makes your *******
so much
easier
to tolerate.

My sweet little liar.
I love you the most, baby.
The title was obviously stolen from Monty Python.
Ellie Martin Feb 2015
Highschool! Supposingly the “time of our lives” or where a study guide is more important than our mental state of being! It’s also the only place where you write thousand of definitions every year, but you can’t even define your self worth. Where you solve millions of equations, but you can’t even add up your life value. Solve for your life, school-health(life)= future. The definitive times of our lives are turning into the worst. Balancing your social wellbeing with the hell of being popular and skinny, even starving yourself for days because the queen bee bought herself the newest style, and it’s a size too small. Subtracting the calories from the equation of wanting to binge your heart out while cramming for the test of flirting with that new boy after school. Adding the new dress, new heels, and new personality to your already masked appearance because the party you got invited to is where the “prettiest” of girls add up your self worth for you solving for the simplest equation. Makeup(Skinny)(Big ****)(Tall)= PRETTY. The word everyone seems to have a definition for except you. A word that could try to define your schooling career, but you can’t find the correct sources. Then theres the nights where you stay up until the early dawn, sobbing yourself to sleep because you can’t remember how to do so on your own. The definition of sleep : A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body. But who remembers that? How am I supposed to solve the equation of rest? These definitions make up your state of being, piercing to your brain like clothing labels, being ripped off when they are no longer needed. The equations make up your body, or what's naturally left of it. Memorizing everything a person says about you, adding up the looks you get in the hallways rushing to class, reading the syllabus to everyone’s expectations for you. Expectations. Expectations. EXPECTATIONS. They come as blurs, never specific or clear enough. They shove through your tired brain and ram your esteem up walls. The perfect image of a student and friend and girlfriend and PERSON. Applications come out, every question answered honestly, truthfully, a reflection of SELF. Self? Can you use that word in a sentence? Is there a way to solve it? You’ve thrown out the files to your internal layers, not seeming important enough to pass the next big history test or worthy of the SAT prep due in a week. You can’t pass the exam in your mind testing on the ability to stay sane and make it into the college in your brain because it’s been shut down due to: inclement conditions.  Add up all of this and you get the equation of highschool and equation to pass the social barrier. Congradulations! You’ve graduated someones judgement of your self worth and now you have to define it on your own.


Self (n:) a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others.


Distinguish from others. Different? NO! Suspension has kicked you out of the brain and difference is a TOTAL reputation ruiner. You’ve spent your entire life hypothesizing the idea of NORMAL. Different is an old definition with a new sound, wanting to be sweet and free. But in reality locked in a detention classroom, waiting for it to be used openly. It’s like this: run multiple copies of the same person on the copy machine and then paste them around the school with imitating personalities and similar words. The word different doesn’t apply to this equation.


Can you even use it in a sentence?  


Can I even be used in a sentence?


-e.m
A slam I wrote for my honors English class.
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
The bad memories flood my head, but i know now that I can pull the drain plug
It all goes swirling;
a tasteless tornado
an H20 hurricane
a liquid life ruiner
I know that water is that vital, but these fluid fragments wont provide me any good if I drink them back up
So, I drain the bad memories and drink up the good ones
and ****... they go down easy like cold water
JM Jul 2012
These people
They do not even see me.
they are blind to me
I am not invisible
I walk by them
I see them
they don't see me
they look away
look at the floor
they look around
they look anywhere
but my eyes

which is fine
for if they did
they would see
the eyes of a madman
a lover
a father and a brother
a ***** hobo
a ragged lonely nomad
a slave
a tree climber
a ruiner
a fighter
a healer
a *****

They would see centuries upon centuries of amber and curry and garlic and sand and bones

If they dared
to step a little closer
they would smell the *** and soil of a thousand worlds
the blood
the ****
the tears
of a million little girls and boys left in my wake
lilies and lilacs and roses and daffodils would mix with
mangoes and dragons blood
and sweaty lust.

I am Love and I walk among you.
Chris Rodgers Dec 2012
I'm leaning on a crutch
to help me stay tall.
Slender, tall mind
Short, fat heart.
Eyelids: much like the mind
(a projector screen for my dreams)
When I speak,
I read the scripts of the movies;
whatever movies I've been watching.
Subconsciously, all conversation is a mere recap,
a synopsis of the film I watched the night before.
A real spoiler to the listener. I'm a movie ruiner.

I'm the only one who sees the works that I spoil.
                         Thank god for that.

**Disclaimer: I just spoiled a movie for you.
JM May 2012
These people
They do not even see me.
they are blind to me
I am not invisible
I walk by them
I see them
they don't see me
they look away
look at the floor
they look around
they look anywhere
but my eyes

which is fine
for if they did
they would see
the eyes of a madman
a lover
a father and a brother
a ***** hobo
a ragged lonely nomad
a slave
a tree climber
a ruiner
a fighter
a healer
a *****

They would see centuries upon centuries of amber and curry and garlic and sand and bones

If they dared
to step a little closer
they would smell the *** and soil of a thousand worlds
the blood
the ****
the tears
of a million little girls and boys left in my wake
lilies and lilacs and roses and daffodils would mix with
mangoes and dragons blood
and sweaty lust.

I am Love and I walk among you.
Mia Eugenia Jan 2014
The heaviness of my eyes reminds me
Why I don't write your name anymore
There is too much time wasted on someone
Who walks through my life
And leaves all their **** for me to clean up
Leaves their life for me to fix
And if you really cared about me
You wouldn't blatantly disregard everything I say
I'm attempting to string pretty word together
To describe how I felt in those moments
But all I want to say is
You're a parasitic *******
You're a egotistical self pitying child
You're a reliable day ruiner
You're unapologetic in the worst way possible
And I have no more pretty words for you
Congratulations
You burned me out
You took the last shred of hope I had for you
And threw it way
Then washed it down with that first shot
I no longer believe you will be ok
I don't think you will ever be ok
And I just have one more thing to say about you...
You're a ****.
Paul d'Aubin Jan 2016
L’être Méditerranéen et la mer

« Écrit à partir d’un extrait d’une lettre à un ami prenant le bateau à Barcelone pour se rendre à Tanger »

Ce soir ou demain, vous serez sur notre chère «Mare nostrum» dont seuls les Romains arrivèrent à tisser, certes par la violence, l'unité provisoire.
Vous vous promènerez sur le pont en humant l'air marin, mêlé aux senteurs d’embruns salés, de peinture et de goudron et vous vous sentirez «en partance »; délicieuse sensation si rare de l'être libre enfin « désamarré » des vêtures de plomb de ses habitudes et contraintes, l’amoindrissent et le ligotent. Vous êtes enfin partis et pas si pressés que cela d'arriver « à bon port », tant le voyage, lui-même, est attrayant, enchanteur et bariolé de curiosités enfin assouvies. Vous serez alors en mer entre le goût de la méditation à laquelle nous incitent la vaste étendue marine et l'excitation bouillonnante de vos enfants ravis.
Cependant le temps ne sera ni à la nostalgie ni à la tristesse, mais a une forme de communion sans hostie, entre la terre et la mer, entre toutes ces hautes civilisations qui se sont succédées et se sont si souvent inutilement combattues sur ces flots irisés et ces rives empreintes d'une si grande beauté et d'une paix apparente, hélas, tant de fois brisée par la folie des hommes.
C'est alors, peut-être, que tous deux, ressentirez et peut-être voudrez bien transmettre à vos enfants  d'être, avant tout, des Méditerranéens.


En effet, « être méditerranéen», ce n'est pas seulement dû à un coup de dés du hasard, ni au seul hasard relevant de son lieu de naissance. Non; c'est d'abord la participation à un «art de vivre » qui mêle étroitement uni les idéaux Apollinien et Dionysien. C’est aussi une chance donnée d'atteindre ce si subtil équilibre de l'Esprit Humain qui nous a donné : Ulysse, Averroès, Le Maimonide, Cervantès, El Greco, Ibn Khaldoun, Leonardo da Vinci, Dante Alighieri, Pascal Paoli, Antoni Gaudi, Albert Camus, Yacine Kateb et Youssef Chahine.

« Etre Méditerranéen » c’est refuser le malheur des êtres, ce qui provoque et crée  ces actuels «naufragés de la honte», tous les  «attentats nihilistes et meurtriers» aux  prétextes divers qui  se déguisent sous des motifs pseudo ment religieux; ou sont le fruit d'indignes rivalités de puissances,  de la confiscation de cette ressource de l’Humanité, le pétrole. Car cette violence  risque de ruiner nos civilisations millénaires. A l’inverse;  « Etre Méditerranéen» c’est vibrer à ce vaste « chant du Monde», porté par les meilleurs poètes et philosophes, lesquels ont toujours œuvrés pour une humanité et une convivence meilleures, plus riantes, plus soucieuses des êtres et vraiment fraternelles.

Paul Arrighi (Texte écrit, cet été  sur le cargo «Le Girolata» relu et modifié à Toulouse le mardi 19 janvier  2016)
Baylee Sep 2014
Some people are pig headed,
Others are good for nothing,
Losers, Jerks, *******, etc.
But you, you're more than all of that,
Or should I say, less.
You don't even deserve to be called anything,
You are nothing to me,
Except the ruiner of all things good and holy,
A destroyer of innocence.
I hate you.
A person that I am close to was run down by a person like the one described above. I absolutely have no tolerance for people like that. You, sir, are the kind of person that DESTROYS people from the inside out. I hope you enjoy living with that, I hope it brings you grief, and I hope that it runs you down the way it has to her.
Effie Jun 2013
You are alive
Yet not at all, it seems
As though you are of living dead
A skull with a beating heart

Dreams of death, despair, decay
Surround you in your passings
I feel them as you go on your way
And look on with helpless wonder

How did you create yourself
The way you are
Born from golden promise.
Now known as the ruiner of tradition,
An iconoclast of her own
In the negative connotation.

You are elusive
Futile
Miserable.
Each breath you take should be
A nicotine filled dream
For why breath free if you're already dead.

I encourage you no more to live,
I ask you to relent
You're strangled by the joy of life
And happiness is your cancer.

Goodbye, once friend I knew so well
I know you no more and
For that I say
Goodbye to the living dead.
Gavin Betty Dec 2014
I would ****,
To be the one,
That you go to with your problems.

I would die,
To be the one,
That fixes them.
Silver Lining Apr 2014
I'm still waiting for this hurt to go away. I'm waiting for the day when I can look in the mirror and not want to shatter it. For the day that I can go to a store with turning to every mirror and looking at my body, utterly disgusted. I'm waiting for the day where I don't want to take the silver pen that draws in red to my skin. I thought it was here.. I thought I was better. I was eating normally. But then is tried on the scale.. What an evil thing. A ruiner. When will I get off this track? I'm growing tired of this journey. But maybe I'll fly off it before I have the chance to hope off onto safe groun-

Good morning.
The sun is shining.
And you are in the clouds.
Welcome home.
Just some random thoughts.  Venting, I suppose.
Kill me slowly Oct 2015
i kept my mouth shut
and my eyes closed
when my limbs were pinned to the bedsheets.

i dreamed the dreamiest of dreams
when
i needed to
forget the feeling
of you inbetween my legs.


your sheets.
sticky.
starchy even.

cotton waves that tickled my skin
and crashed over me.

my hands pinned.
like the games you use to play with your brother,
to see who was stronger.

his breath on your shoulder.
cold.
huffing
in your ear
as his icicle fingers traced your skin.


it wasn't supposed to be this way.
your body seems to chime

you shiver and shake

scared or cold
it's all the same.
never seemed to matter.

he tears off your skin
and eats it
as he finishes with you
he wants you fully naked.
fully humiliated.

you crumple into yourself
arms wrapped around you like wings

you were ready to fly away that night.
but for some reason you didn't

legs to your chest
fetal position
proved nearly fatal as you lay next to him that night.

waking up next to that boy was the hardest thing you ever had to do.

the only witnesses to the crimes he committed on your skin
we're your legs
and they wouldn't stop shaking...

it's a bit chilly.
but you warm yourself up anyways
and throw on your clothes.
paint
on
a smile
and
  choke on the denial
after all
that's the way they dealt you your cards.

you were never good at keeping your poker face
or a straight face for that matter
but
boy, oh boy
did you have them all fooled.


hello. world.

it's me,
another unstable,
teenager.

open your presents,
act shocked;
what a supprise.

hello.
world.
   you will forget me.





just let go.

just. let. him. go.

but he stole the only thing of value to her
and
got away with it too.

that silly heart thief, that silly life ruiner.
that silly boy.


he got to get everything he wanted
and

didn't even look back.

so why should she let go.. why can't he give it all back..?


so when she cries,
and she cuts herself open.
sheds her skin for you to see
and spills her guts.

just know it's not her at this point, it's second nature

to
try to be whole again.

she never will though. she knows it.
the nostalgia will always be there and there's nothing she can do to get those memories back
and there's no where left to run
except straight back into his arms
straight back where she started
and
she might as well be walking backwards because she isn't making any progress and here she is again spending another night crying on the bathroom floor

she wants to tell the truth to you
she wants you to know why
she cries.
and gets scared.
but she settles for the bathroom tiles

she mumbles against the cold floor
lips trying to move but can't

she's holding herself up
barricading the walls that are just too weak

but these bricks and these lies are just too old
and these arms just aren't strong enough to hold the weight of the world anymore.
so
she crumbles
and she fumbles
and she folds
and her whole empire has fallen down around her..

she still sees you around town
and you can't help but rub it in

so
tell me,
what the **** do we do now.

now that we've ruined this place

now that you've ruined this heart

now that i have no where to go

no one to love

and

nothing to be.





i guess i can't expect you understand.

any of you.

i guess i can't expect to get it either.

but for some reason

*i do.

for some reason i do.
Noah H Jul 2018
I couldn't tell you the exact amount of time that has passed since the last time I saw you
It has to be at least two summers
I haven't felt you in what seems like decades
But your still invade my dreams some nights, a hostile presence in unwelcome territory
I'm just trying to think of ways to destroy you
I want to take every minute I ever shared with you and tear them apart like paper
I want to cast hooks into your body and rip out every single "I love you" I've ever said
I want it to hurt
I want you to bleed
I want you to bleed for every "I love you" you made me believe
I want to take back every smile I ever gave you
I'm so ******* angry
How is it that I'm still afraid
Just the knowledge that I live in the same state as you is enough to tie my stomach in knots

I hate you
And I want to erase you
I can't say for sure if I would go back and redo it all
You taught me something
You must've taught me something
But no one taught you anything
So you played too rough and broke something
And I can't even find what you broke

You'll always be a ruiner


You're going to run out of things to ruin eventually and then you'll just be left all alone, surrounded by the rubble you created

And I can't wait
seluring Aug 2017
she is the kind of a girl who is keen,
like a foxglove flower that i've never seen,
beautiful and elegant on its looks,
but seems to be very poisonous.

a bell-shaped highly toxic flower,
a life ruiner and a happiness killer,
a flower that is very dangerous,
that love requires you to be very cautious.

she can cause irregular heart function,
severe pain and hallucination,
that's the reason why it's hard to love,
a girl that's like a foxglove.
ig: seluriing
twt: seluring
fb: seluring
follow meeeeee!
Kill me slowly Oct 2015
oh, she's the girl with the
cold lips
that sits in the corner
and mouths
words
she will never say
because she knows they're just too cold
for the average human.

ninety eight degrees hotter then you could ever be
but still she freezes you over with one look of her frosty eyes.

you get freezer burn
when she kisses you
but you like the feeling of being
chilled to the bone

mind over matter.
something over nothing.

am
i right?


i'm stuck in a constant state of nothing
and
apathy keeps me cold
while i make love by the fire.

in this world
im surrounded by hipsters
that i pick my teeth with
and my reasoning is
there lives matter as much as ants when you consider the things they do with their time.
and the worst thing is, for the most part i am right.

and i'm stuck in this miserable god forsaken city
with these miserable god forsaken clothes
on this miserable god forsaken
back.

smile so bright still, i do
but i still end up getting  cavities
from
their flesh inbetween my teeth.

tumblr ****.

recycled faces.

grody.


i hate people
but they taste so good.
especially their hopes and dreams

haha i really am a life ruiner.

bitter..?  i guess you could call her that
she tastes like stale water
with a little extra something on the side
she never fails to leave your toungue numb
though,

thats for sure.

so deadly
she is
but you know you love it.
there's a deep rooted craving
in all of us
for things that tear us apart
and

she's just
sharpened
her icicle fingers
pointed like knifes
that she'll run through your hair
when she makes you a cake filled with poison
on your birthday

it was made with love.
i honestly don't understand how they all ended up dead, officer.


what.

she'll pretend that she cares
and spin you a fabricated story
but she. really.  ******* doesn't.

you mean as much to her
as what she regurgitates onto paper

so a lot.

not.


she could **** you
in one foul swoop
but she likes to watch you fail
so
go ahead and scramble for a safety you will never find
eventually you're going to end up losing yourself
or your mind

it's the same thing these days.


i just want to find one person
who understands this disease
and
has the cure to make me love again
rebirth me
into a world where i belong and can rule

please
    


dear nonexistent identical clone of a person

whatever universe you are in
whatever you are called
whatever you are
if you understand me
please tell me you        
do


are you trapped in a paradox just like me..?
will you call me on Sunday's after a bad run in at the church where i end up shooting a little bit too much of you up into my veins, to make sure i'm still breathing?
how do you like me and your eggs
battered, broken, or sunny side down?

the answer is no.

silly goose.

no one loves you.
and
no one is there listening on the other side of that phone.
(universe)
the line is dead
and so is your humanity.



these puns
and these lines
that i've been writing around this head
are driving me nuts.
i'm knitting a noose for your neighbor
but this has all left me without a single hair on my head.

i'm sorry that i'm so frustrating



so where was i..it seems i've lost track of where this all began?

i plead the fifth.

this girl.

right.

nevermind.          


there's not too much to her, really.
she's simplistically consistent in her ways.

oops

sorry

that
was a lie.


maybe next time you'll get it right
and get the **** over yourself


okay.

let's start over.


****
i'm losing my mind



she's the girl with the
pale face
that sits in the corner

the girl with the
antartica heart
that you just can't warm.
she'll **** you before she lets you try.
in fact.


not today
though
and
not tomorrow

     not you
not again.

heed my warning

step back before you
die
before
i
freeze your heart next to mine.


              before you're trapped forever.
.
haughty. hateful. histeric.

rambling just happens to be my forte
Ghazal Apr 2016
Reluctant subject,
I nervously peered at
your kind lens as you clicked
I must have shut my eyes
The sun is so harsh anyway, I thought,
or given that crooked, half-hearted smile
that I usually end up with

Helpless photo-ruiner,
I gazed in surprise at the beauty
staring back at me,
And saw what you see in me
and fall in love with, everyday,
Looking at myself through your eyes,
I quietly realised,
It was your photograph's grace
WhereverYouAre Feb 2017
The ruiner of good music
No longer connected to feelings
Now they're connected to things
alex Aug 2018
i’m pretty tired of beautiful things
looking so small in my hands
my worn, tender hands
they want to finally become the home
of things that my severity can’t crush
i am a ruiner in my own right
it’s just that i really only ruin
what is just out of reach

i’m not a confrontational fellow
i let myself get pushed to the ground
and i get up without a word
never demand an apology because
it was my fault that i was ever in the way

i rarely sleep when it’s dark out
when everyone is asleep
there’s no one to treat me harshly
and stare as i lose myself in another round
and another photo
and another song lyric

i’m so pretentious
this poem doesn’t even mean anything

i’m excited for sunday
as excited as i can be after
19 years of learning to be let down
i’m embarrassed to say that i gave up
before there was anything to give

i’d give that little number in the mirror
the entire world
if she’d just tell me
she loves me too.
j and me. i’ve been up all night, it’s 7:16am, and i need to get myself out of these bad habits.
sumaya ahmed Dec 2014
You, you're like a raven
With a heart as black as coal
How could I love you when I know what you are like
You break my heart and tear it till it bleeds
You you're a heart breaker a soul taker and a life ruiner
Jacob Steiner Aug 2014
First, If I'm outside losing my **** and you say you're going to do something. To help you don't just say I don't feel good anymore or I need to sleep or you're overreacting, I know I'm FUCJING overreacting that's why I need you for ***** sake. Second, I'd like to give a shoutout to the security guard who put **** in perspective for me tonight. Okay so there I was on the 5th floor, my rooms on the first floor so Yes I walked up 4 floors at 12:30, and as I'm up there stumbling around breaking down I hear a mans voice say hey bud what in gods name are you doing. And I tell him the truth I'm walking around cause i feel like **** I feel worthless and I just want stuff to be done. I don't know why or how I confided in him but that doesn't matter because I'll never see him again. He walked up to me and said look I'm here because someone called and said there's a teenage boy out here walking around by the ledge of the top of a building so I came out. And he said look if you're thinking of doing anything don't because all these people payed a lot of money to come here and if you were to happen to end up as a splat down there, it would be a hell of a vacation ruiner for them and I know that sounds bad but sometimes you just have to **** it up for other people cause if you can help others be happy it's worth it. Then he said goto bed and i went back to my room and my friend mel told me we can't be friends anymore. So I'm back out here cause **** those people if I want to jump and **** myself their happiness will have no effect on that and if I don't post by 12 tomorrow afternoon I did jump. So if this is goodnight all sleep tight and live your life the best you can. And to my family ******* for every insult and rude comment you've said to me and dad I guess I am just a big old ******* disappointment after all.
k Feb 2017
So now you look like you've got it all figured out right?
So now you finally found someone who you're not afraid to love right?
I stand in the corner
Hands wrapped around my chest
Because you're the one that taught me that my very best
Just wasn't good enough.
You told me someday I'll find someone to love me just like I loved you
You said they won't lie to me the way that you do
You said someday, someone
But never you.
Now I stand in the corner
And you're acting like you can't see me right?
At one point I was the only person you spoke to all day
Now you didn't even wish me on my birthday
I'm trying to make sense of love and why I always get the shortest string
Why boys line up at the door just to get a taste
& then spit me out the minute it's no longer a chase
I'm not trying to play these love games
I don't want their cheap compliments
I don't want the hand holding without the heart holding.
Why does it feel like I'm always begging him to love me
But at the same time telling him don't bother trying to trust me
And I'm not saying I've got it all figured out
In fact I'm way past falling apart
I just wanna know why your heart got spared when you were the one who ruined mine
How someone can love the ruiner
But not the ruined.
Why you got to walk away from this mess that I've become
This mess that you made
This mess that's not a mess at all
And now cause you couldn't love it
I won't let anyone else even try.
a wildfire Feb 2016
"
when what you have believed is love
for your entire life
is really a sickness,
an addiction.
lover, heart breaker, life taker, ruiner.

there are no white horses.
his armor doesn't shine.
rook Nov 2014
it is me.
i am the ruiner of fun.
i am the destroyer of all things enjoyable.
i am unwated.
i am unnecessary.
i am
actually -- i am not
i am nothing
i am not
i'm sorry i'm sorry just stop just go ujst im sorry
heather leather Jan 2015
she told him, with a cigarette hanging
at the edge of her mouth, to stay away
not for his sake; she was selfish, she told him to
stay away for her
because she knew that it was better to not feel at all
but he didn't listen
he never ******* listened
and that was the problem
he didn't listen when she told him that it was too late,
he didn't listen when they told him that she
was already destined to live a life not well spent,
he didn't listen because he didn't care
he should've
he knew all too well that she was a nightmare,
a freak, a lost cause, but he didn't care
because she was also the girl who taught him
how to drink (even though he never got drunk)
she was the girl who taught him how
to relax (even though he was a stressful freak)
and she was the girl who taught him how to live
and one day, the fact that she was a horrible,
bitter mess escaped his mind
in a way it was all his fault;
she told him to never forget who she was,
but he did
he forgot that she was a life-ruiner, she ruined
people's lives

she told him, with a cigarette dangling
from the edge of her mouth, the puffs of smoke making him
dizzy, to stay away
but he never ******* listened

and that is the story of the boy who lives on the corner
of the street, he smokes a pack a day and sings shallow songs
still reminiscing in the memory of the girl
who ruined his life
"She's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives."--Mean Boys (wattpad story)
brinn Jan 2019
everything i touch
everywhere i go
everything i do
i ruin it all.

— The End —