I’m dancing with my favourite devil again
Didn’t think that he was for me again
You only like it when I’m ****** up
Think you using me to **** up
But for once don’t mistake
That my kisses are fake
You’re too scared to call me when you’re sober
But I’m too afraid to admit this is over
No more lies no more tears I said
I’ve got your back but don’t forget you stabbed mine
You thought I did you wrong
Was this your way of reacting?
Didn’t you think of picking up the phone,
Asking me to be honest?
I know you’re alone, I know you’ve got fears
But why was I the only one who ended up in tears
You’ve got pretty eyes - disappear when you smile
You’ve got prettier lies - always there no surprise
But you always make me laugh I’ll give you that
Even when you broke my heart
I laughed at you through the tears
Now it’s been over a year can you ******* believe it
Since we’ve been playing cat and mouse
With our drinks and our feelings
I never gave up on you, nursed hope in my heart
I knew that you would miss me.
I ******* knew it.
Yes you waited too long, yes patience is an art
I learnt for you
But don’t ever doubt it I’ll always choose me over you
You’re a little too late I’m a little too drunk
Let’s just keep kissing and never tell each other how we really feel.
Oh how we criticized their hearts
And inspected their love
Looking for poison,
Always finding it
Always keeping it
Never realizing how close we held it to our hearts, letting them infiltrate and infect every corner.
I sit cross legged your heart in my one hand, fork in the other. Blood drips from my lips and this is how I stay clear of heartbreak.
They loved me like a train ride like the back of a pick up truck like the journey they needed to take but never the destination where they planned to stay.
flowers wilt and bedsheets get stripped clean with bleach bitter like my words my eyelashes held together with tears you laugh not at me but as if you’re amused at the idea of anyone ever loving you I can see your eyes lack understanding and you should be glad that you don’t know the look of heartbreak and I don’t hate you no matter how much I know I should I think I might never speak to you again though but don’t forget the day you first saw me and you told your friends all about the way we didn’t stop smiling on the dance floor the end of an era the beginning of a mess who would’ve known you would look at me 12 months later and see someone you claim to love but fail to ever show it don’t forget the night you came to my dorm room too afraid to say a word and now cause you know me you say too much let’s stop pretending that you didn’t spend hours lying next to me in a tent made out of the night sky holding hands and talking **** and I know what everyone sees in us - something pointless and never-ending but don’t think I’ve forgotten what you said and don’t think when you smile at me like everything’s fine that I ever believe it and we should sit down sometime and talk about nothing I guess that’s my way of saying I hate what you did, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.
If you had found the perfect man for you. The one who held your troubles in his hands, smiled like the sky breaking and knew exactly what you needed when you said you’re tired or cold or sad - you would never have kept him. You will never keep him because look at how you run towards the boys who spill their liquored lust all over your heartbreak like it doesn’t exist so for a moment you can believe it really isn’t there. Do not blame them for not loving you, love was never what you were bringing to the table. Do not blame them for leaving you. Yes you welcomed them with open arms but you always left the back door unlocked so you could slip away in the middle of the night if they ever tried to stay. Men are not the heroes the movies made them out to be and if it’s loving that you want baby girl, it’s gotta be loving that you give. Nobody’s gonna save you but yourself
they all taught us to sit in the corner and stand in the kitchen, kneel in the bedroom and be afraid to say no. they taught us to wear lipstick on our lips like glue, to keep our opinions to ourselves, we learned to fear the men in the street because they don't ever ask - only take. we are taught to be pretty, precious, pure and believed them when they called out our names like lost puppies. we are slowly learning to unlearn. the feminine energy and spirit is healing and we are angry.