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Devonte Morton Sep 2016
daddy's drinking alcohol
sometimes he hits the walls
momma prays
momma prays

her son has did his crimes
now he must do his time
momma prays
momma prays

her daughters pregnant now
but she doesn't know how
momma prays
momma prays

momma prays when she's knocked down
momma prays when she's no count
momma prays
momma prays

momma prays for daddy's soul
that one day it will be whole
momma prays
momma prays

momma prays for her sons life
that one day he'll be alright
momma prays
momma prays

momma prays for her daughters child
that one day she'll make her proud
momma prays
momma prays

momma prays when she's knocked down
momma prays when she's no count
momma prays
momma prays

momma gone to meet the Lord
now I can't pretend no more
now I pray
now I pray

now I pray for my father to be saved
now I pray for my sister to find faith
now I pray
now I pray

now I pray that I find my way
through its hard I can't complain
now I pray
now I pray

momma prays when she's knocked down
momma prays when she's no count
momma prays
momma prays

i'm in church and I'm on my knees
father and sister next to me
and we pray
and we pray

and we pray to be brought through this storm
and we pray to be wrapped in your arms
and we pray
and we pray

i thank the Lord that momma prayed
i thank the Lord she knew his name
momma prays
now I pray

momma prays when she's knocked down
momma prays when she's no count
momma prays
momma prays

for the ones we have lost its a burden
but let's not forget where they are going
oh let's pray
oh let's pray

for the ones who are called for Gods purpose
be a light in this world filled with darkness
oh let's pray
oh let's pray

for the two who have taught me to be strong
i believe I can always carry on
oh let's pray
oh let's pray

for my friends there's a love I am certain
endless love that can never be broken
oh let's pray
oh let's pray

momma prays when she's knocked down
momma prays when's she's no count
momma prays
momma prays
Lytrell Howard Nov 2014
My momma is better than your momma
She cook better she look better
She can make flowers grow
She can beat yo daddy with tae kwon do My momma is the best there is
Pass any test there is Had to in order to raise us kids She can take
some bread and fish And a thang if water. She can make Any dish and
feed us with enuff For seconds. Thank you, Lord!
Cuz even tho we can't afford
Somehow my momma got us everything we asked for

My momma is better than your momma
She the cool momma on the block
Have my friends askin could we pls switch spots She can turn rain into
sun Turn a belt into a gun Carry a burden that weighs a ton And keep
her hair and her nails done My momma is number 1 Ain't no competition
You may think yo momma is great But my momma make yo momma Wanna slap
her momma for not Bein my momma

My momma is better than your momma
You can't tell me she ain't
My momma can fix pipes electronics
Change tires mix paint
She can preach to preacher
Out drink a drinker
Throw a curve slider and a sinker
She can make somethin outta nothin
And if you give her somethin...
She can double that somethin give you
Your somethin flip somethin and have 2 stacks double or nothin

My momma is better than your momma
I think everyone can agree
My momma is better than your momma
She is the best ever you see
She is the village that raise the kids Can't nobody attempt the things
she did She can run like the wind She is the most caring most lovin
Woman ever. Long as yo **** is home by 10.
You mite think your mom is better
But I'm a tell ya she don't compare
Cuz my momma got your momma beat from her feet to her hair

My momma is better than your momma
For this I love her so
I am the plant she nurtured
I am the flower that she made grow
Her voice calms me and takes me
Back to the days when she would hold me Close to her and protect me
Especially when I was afraid I know there are many mothers They all
love with a love that only God knows They are compassionate caring
loving and it shows But those moms are cool but I can't put them above
the Woman that I call mother hopefully 1 day I can show her the way
she loves me
cxbra Oct 2015
This isn't a journal entry.

It's been raining for a week, momma.
I know my girls cold and she just wants to sleep, momma.
But right now I don't think she wants to speak to me, momma.
I must have done a terrible deed, but momma these days I barely get any sleep.
Everyone always needs me so I can't get any time to just breathe.
I know it's hard to stay afloat when the ship is about to sink, ---
Boys ain't supposed to cry, momma.
But it's to hard to not get teary eyed, momma.
When everyone around you can barely stay alive, momma.
I've got friends on the brink of suicide, momma.
They want to sleep to, but momma they never want to wake up.
I still get emotional when anybody brings James up.
I still get emotional when people tell me I'm too little, cause momma how am I gonna protect my family if I'm too little.
Only I know that size never matters in a fist fight, momma.
And I hope my brothers got my back when I get tried, momma.
And I never want to find my boy on a riverside, momma.
I know how he feels, he don't want to be alive--
There's so many problems my boys are facing, momma.
I just pray that they're all okay, momma.
I gotta stay strong to keep they heads up, momma.
I barely have the energy to keep my head up, momma.
I feel like I fail everybody, momma.
It's been a long time since I've cried, momma.
But I shed tears bout it every night, momma.
But you told me boy should never cry, momma.
That's why I kept the tears inside, momma.
All I ever wanted was to make you proud, momma.
All I ever wanted was to make you proud, momma.
emily May 2018
momma always said that life on the farm wasn't always stingy she said the birds were chirping Roman numerals and the bees buzzed the alphabet sometimes

daddy always said momma's knees were full of salt because grandad made her kneel
momma said childhood was rough once grandad knocked the hummingbirds out with morphine and daddy had to peel their feathers off

sometimes momma would have a seizure and start sputting out random stories that she would remember and then we would go have to quiet her down and bring her to bed
the one story she never tells is the story about me - how I broke her vase
that barnacle was so delicate it cracked when I put too much salt in it

momma heard the wrong bedtime story once and ripped her seed-filled bible in half
she said god gave her a vision and finally tore the dream catcher I have above my bed to see the trains I stuck in my head
she never knew I could be the little girl dreamin of covering her next lover in salt
and the little girl screaming in the crazy box when she had to put miss instead of sir

now momma always said that I would be her little girl but momma never said she would always treat me the same
momma threw a knife at me and said girls belong in the kitchen
momma striped my room clean and said decorations weren't manly
momma yanked my clothes off and pointed to my chest "these aren't supposed to be here"
now daddy always stuck up for me but this point I wasn't daddy's little girl - I was momma's little reject

now momma lost her mind when she found out uncle shared the same name as me
momma threw the cat tails at me and threw me out
momma ripped my life apart and said I was at fault
momma was weeping with the pigs and shot the dogs heart out
momma scratched herself up and declawed the horses
momma went headless with the chickens and skinned herself with salt

momma calmed down when we tied bricks to her feet and dumped her in the river for a bit
now she sits in her rocking chair on the porch, picking out dead flies stuck in honey
every now and then she gets bit and feels a sense of reality
she doesn't talk much anymore so I just stuck the tongue back in my hat

thought a country girl would've been good enough for the folks back home
spent the nights carving in the trees together
sticking wheat in her teeth
and she shoved grass down my throat just to keep me quiet
momma saw me filling my lovers mouth with a tongue and yanked me by my hair
dragged me all the way down the dirt road
momma didn't flinch and quickly had my mouth washed out with salt
woops
Corina Helm Dec 2011
Daddy, where have you gone?
I remember you holding my hand
and walking me to school.
You said "I love you" and
turned and walked away
So tell me
Daddy, where have you gone?

Daddy, where are you?
Are you safe,...happy
Momma's here, so is
Little Joey.
So tell me
Daddy, where are you?

Daddy, are you going to come home?
I made potato pancakes hoping you would.
Little Joey doesn't remember you,
but Momma and I do.
So tell me
Daddy, are you going to come home?

Daddy, have you witnessed death?
Momma killed the pigs yesterday,
you use to do that.
I have witnessed death,
So tell me,
Daddy, have you witnessed death?

Daddy, why did you leave?
I watched you walk away.
You turned and waved
I never saw you again.
So tell me
Daddy, why did you leave?


Daddy, are you happy?
Little Joey is always smiling,
it makes me and Momma
happy too.
So tell me,
Daddy, are you happy?

Daddy, why did you leave?
Were you angry with me?
Were you angry with little Joey?
Were you angry with Momma?
So tell me
Daddy, why did you leave?

Daddy, are you in the War?
that is what Suzzie said.
Her daddy is in it.
So tell me
Daddy, are you in the War?

Daddy, are you safe?
I heard Momma talking
about the War.
she said it isn't safe.
So tell me
Daddy, are you safe?  

Daddy, what is war like?
I think it is ******
and lots of people die.
Lots of girls lose their Daddies
So tell me
Daddy, what is war like?

Daddy, are you hungry?
We have shortages
of food now.
I am hungry.
So tell me
Daddy, are you hungry?

Daddy, why have you been gone so long?
It has been
three years since you
left me at school.
So tell me,
Daddy, why have you been gone so long?

Daddy, can you come home?
Momma is older now.
Little Joey isn't little anymore.
But I am still the little girl you
left at school.
So tell me
Daddy, can you come home?

Daddy, are you dead?
Joey thinks you are.
Momma refuses to think so
I don't know what I think.
So tell me
Daddy, are you dead?

Daddy, are you in Heaven?
Are there angles?
can I come to Heaven if you are there?
So tell me
Daddy, are you in Heaven?

Daddy, are you missing?
Suzzie's daddy is,
and I thought you might be too.
So tell me,
Daddy, are you missing?

Daddy, do you miss me?
Momma misses you,
so does Joey, even though he doesn't remember
you.
I miss you too.
So tell me,
Daddy, do you miss me?

Daddy, will you be there for my wedding?
I have always wanted you to be there,
But now Joey is here,
He is going to give me away
For my wedding, if you aren’t there,
So tell me
Daddy, will you be there for my wedding?

Daddy, will you be there for the birth of your first grandchild?
Momma will be,
And I want you to be too.
So tell me,
Daddy, will you be there for the birth of your first grandchild?



Daddy, did you find Momma?
She left yesterday, she
Wanted to see you,
Just like I want to see you.
So tell me,
Daddy, did you find Momma?

Daddy, did you meet John?
He was my second born,
He died last week.
Did Momma meet him?
So tell me,
Daddy, did you meet John?

Daddy, will you meet me in Heaven?
I will be coming soon,
Joey went to the war like you.
I want to see him before
I leave,
So tell me,
Daddy, will you meet me in Heaven?

Daddy, do you miss me?
I missed you tons,
Over the years, but now I will
See you again,
Daddy, this is my last breath,
I will see you soon, but Daddy please,
Tell me,
Did you miss me like I missed you?
RainbowBlessings Oct 2014
Dear Momma,

Hi momma, I'm not going to
ask you how your doing cause
I know your doing just fine!
But momma I'm not doing so
good down here without you,
and I'm not lying!

I know you see me momma
but I can't see you,
I'm just wondering momma
what is it there that you do?question

Are you singing with the
angels, and talking with
The Lord? angel
I know momma your happy
and I'm sure your not bored!

But momma your so Lucky
cause Your Above The Angels
momma Your The Very BEST!

Cause momma you done your
work here on earth and you
passed all the Test!


I'm still working down here
momma for God,
work
But for you momma there's
days I cry and sob!

When all my work here
momma is through,
work
Momma I'll be right there
to hug you!

Momma tell Jesus I
said Thank You,
thanks*
For giving this Letter
to you!

Love,
Barbie

Written By~Barbie Kirk
FOR MY MOMMA In Heaven!
Missing my Momma!
Lou May 2018
Happy Mother's Day
to all you momma's.
Independent,
Strong,
Hard to find.
Knee deep in crumbs
On all fours sticking to the floors,
Still able to bench diapers
And my *******.
And to all their Momma's too.

All you new Momma's,
Soon to be Momma's,
To my boys baby Momma's.
All you Momma's full of drama.
Sensational Momma's,
Smoking hot Momma's.
Past Momma's,
Grand Momma's,
Earth Momma's,
Outta sight, space cadet Momma's.

You, time traveling Momma's .
You, hair dying chameleon;
Momma's.
You, extreme,
You, soul relief,
You, highly elite,
You, out of reality,
And in my dreams
Momma's. 
You heart deafening,
Eye crossing,
Hand numbing,
Cosmic beckoning.
Momma's.

To my sister; a new Momma,
To my older sister; seasoned Momma.
To my;
Step,
Bio,
Grand,
Adopted,
And future.

Thank you for being the message this man wouldn't of heard without you.
Wrote this a Year ago. Fun mother's day poem.
David Gonzalez Apr 2014
Momma I'm scared.
There's a monster under my bed.
Momma I'm scared.
The boys at school pick on me.
Momma I'm scared.
I think this girl doesn't like me.
Momma I'm scared.
I might not make it into college. Momma I'm scared.
I don't want to move out but I have to.
Momma I'm scared.
I'm in so much debt.
Momma I'm scared.
My marriage is falling apart.
Momma I'm scared.
My wife is pregnant and I don't how to be a father.
Momma I'm scared.
I'm losing the house.
Momma I'm scared.
I've grown my first gray hair.
Momma I'm scared.
Please don't die. I need you.
I'm scared momma.
COME ON!
I got it goin' on,
COME ON!
I got it goin' on,
MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,

PARENTS,
Let go 'cause you're wrong...

MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,
MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,
MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,

PARENT'S,
It's time now I'm gone.

MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,
MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,
MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,

I FIGURED OUT,
ALL THAT WAS WRONG!
I'm going out,
with my Pride and my Song,
I love you,
but I got it goin' on.

PARENT'S
I'm sorry we're done,
EVERYTHING
is new 'under-the-Sun';
MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,

<musical break>

Jesus ain't
here/but I am!
Momma,
I am a Man,
'Change-the world'
that is my plan...

because,
<musical break>

MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,
MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,
MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,

PARENT'S
listen to my song,

COME ON!
I got it goin' on,
COME ON!
I got it goin' on,
MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,

MOMMA!
I got it goin' on,

Everyone...
Teen's with a song,
Hear us,
WE GOT IT GOIN' ON!

COME ON!
We got it goin' on,
COME ON!
We got it goin' on,
COME ON!
We got it goin' on,

COME ON!
We got it goin' on,
COME ON!
We got it goin' on,
COME ON!
We got it goin' on,

GOD I'M COMING!
AND THIS IS MY SONG!

COME ON!
We got it goin' on,
COME ON!
We got it goin' on,
COME ON!
We got it goin' on,

come on,
we got it goin' on...
come on,
we got it goin' on...

Momma we got it goin' on...

**fade out
Empowering teens is probably the best anyone can hope for in their quests of life?
Lillian Martin Nov 2020
Tomorrow is bring your parents to school day Momma.
Dad says you can't come Momma.
Why Momma?
Why can't you come Momma?

Everyone is telling me they are sorry Momma.
Why are they saying they are sorry Momma?

Why haven't you come back since the party Momma?

You know,
the one where we had to dress in all black.

Why did we have to dress in all black Momma?

It's getting lonely Momma.
Why won't you come up Momma?
You have been sleeping for forever Momma.

Huh...
What a weird bed you chose for the party Momma.
Is it comfortable Momma?
Maybe I should try it someday,

what do you think Momma?

I miss you Momma.
Please wake up.

Momma?
I think this explains itself...
Maxwell Clouse Jul 2018
Momma, you left me broken like glass on the cold hard floor
You didn't want to clean up the mess like you didn't want to clean up your act

Momma why?
Why do I have to ask you for forgiveness, when you have made me this way?
Momma why?

Momma why are you cryin?
Is it because of me?
Because of everything you took from me?
Like my freedom?
My family?
My father?
My siblings?
... Or is it because you're out of drugs?

Momma why?
Why do you make these promises?
You just left me in the crevices of these promises I call your lies.
Momma why?
Momma can't you hear those cries?
Those are your cries...
that I hear in the middle of the night.

Momma why?
Why do you take these pills?
Momma you're rollin over these hills
you can't prevent these spills

Momma why?
Why won't you change?
Can't you see the range of possibilities?

Momma why?
Z Aug 2018
Too many thoughts, too many feelings, too many faces

Yea, what’s the feeling of success?
Achieved so many things, but all I feel is regret,
I feel alone inside my head what don’t you get?
Wake up every morning like it’s still my set,
Reminisce on where I come from so I don’t forget,
Been to rehab a dozen times, they called me a vet,
You thought you knew me, I haven’t opened the curtains yet

Alcohol destroyed all my relationships
Forgot most of my life - except for the video clips,
Poisoned my brain to forget the pain, on the daily I feel insane
I’m above the ground though I can’t complain, god relieve this pain
I feel like I drank the blood of Cain,

Every day is a surprise, my brain tells me I’m so wise,
But he’s a master in disguise, while I’m the one who cries,
He’s the one who lies,
To me in my own voice watching my demise,
When he’s in in control anything flies,
It scares me, I built a fortress to disguise,
This out of control mind, I want to cut the ties
A Broad perception, in a beautiful world, through these eyes,

Try to express my feelings, no one can understand
**** it no one can, this experience is mine god had it planned
Just hope I can grow up to be the man,
The one he created to do whatever he can,
Yea, whatever he wants, his drive his will he can make a stand,
A visionary, Socrates his thoughts are grand,

Who do I trust, who I am or who I want to be,
It’s confusing with a devil living inside of me,
Loving spouse, family man what I try to be,
This bipolar got a hold of me,
Blindfolding me I can’t see,
Please doctor doctor set my mind free,
I thought I knew everything with my degree,
The lessons I learned from the things I failed to see,

Mommy and daddy got divorced when I was a kid,
I think I was 8, I can’t remember, who am I to kid,
My first blackout in life, daddy’s about to lose his wife,
So much anger, “he’s” telling me to find the knife,
Take it to the artery just a little slice,
Life’s not as nice, as people make it seem,
No one hears me scream, from the pain,
Inside this brain, some days I feel insane,
110 on the freeway trying to stay in my lane,
Drunk driving no I’m not sane,
Getting high to alleviate the pain

One day I can be the man, goals, driven, and full of will,
The next be full of sadness, regret, life stands still,
I can remember anger that drove me to ****,
You don’t know how I feel,
People probably thought I made a deal,
With the devil to have all this skill,
I write all these thoughts, hoping there’s a heart to fill,

Hope someone can relate,
I hope my pain makes you elate,
My perceptions not up for debate,
Here is my life there’s no room to understate,
The reality of my life and the things on my plate,
Strive to be in a mentally stable state,
Sometimes life’s not so great,
My minds locked in a crate, and he is the key holder of my fate,

My life feels like an afterthought,
Stepdad thought love was something that could be bought,
Used to get in trouble every time I got caught,
Only if they knew the realism of what I did, or maybe they ought
Not to know, but for the sake of the flow, I’m going to let go,
Put on a show so they finally understand what they missed long ago,

Let’s start as a little boy, all the love you showed was a decoy,
For the truth that mommy and daddy were ready to destroy,
Split us up, brown moving boxes was it all momma’s ploy?
I still don’t know the truth, I don’t want to ask or annoy

They say they fell out of love, how can you fall out of love,
Unless you gave up? Don’t you realize who’s above,
Poor American white family, three kids and divorced, man the stereo type fits like a glove,
Never got physically, but always received a verbal shove,
Psychologically I wish I could dispose of,
This garbage that’s left behind, in this mind how am I supposed to give away free love,


One day at a time, one fight, I’m going to give it all my might,
Serenity prayer please give me the light,
To accept my life and guide me right,
Some days things are out of sight,
God comfort me so I feel alright,
I’m shrouded in darkness, call me the dark knight,
Noble I’m my cause, daily life’s a plight,

As a teenager I survived off my drive,
Then there was the day I didn’t want to be alive,
Locked those feelings deep in the archive,
Padlocked in the deep parts of the brain so they don’t thrive,
Questioning the purpose of life when I was five,
Asked about space and God, curiosity already took a dive,
Most people and me don’t really jive,
One instinct on my mind is to survive,
Mania kicking in putting me in overdrive,
Found out when I was twenty-five,
I’m mentally ill, my life took a nose dive,
Time to wake up and revive,
It’s time to deprive,
The addiction and the **** I do to connive,
God im going to work on my life until arrive,
To the kingdom, hopefully I live to see thirty-five,

Todays a new day, no telling what I might do,
Try to hold my family together, backbone and the glue,
Just accept my view, everything’s not about you,
Been self-reflecting, I’m having a break through,
This story is contagious, call it reality flu,
Knocked on deaths door, Alcohol blood volume .492,

What was I thinking? Pores stinking, breath wreaking,
Family and friends shrieking, at all my drinking,
Woke up surrounded by the medical team,
Asked me if I was suicidal, I said what do you mean?
I’m a genius, with a good job, had one since fourteen,
Worked hard my whole life, why am I here confused as hell - creating a scene,
Needle in my arm, threatening to restrain me,
God please set me free, right now you’re the only one that can help me,
Ready to fight the doctors and nurses, now they’re going to petition me,

When I opened up my eyes,
Seen my momma with tears in her eyes,
Most painful look I’ve ever seen on her face,
Now I feel like a huge disgrace, wish she knew gods grace,
My hearts racing at a fast pace, anxiety took over freaking out in this place,
The realest hug ive ever felt was from momma while I was in that room,
Time to clean up my life, time to clear my mind and get out of the back room,
Where my thoughts are locked, time to forgive and bury the in their own tomb,
Most think they know me, and its dangerous to assume,
Most my life you seen me in my costume, hiding behind the monster of doom,
Spent so many hours in my bedroom, drinking so much leaving behind an ethanol fume,
Days later it’s still hanging around, how the poison turns everything into a darkroom.

12 days locked in the psych ward, hopefully I can move my life forward,
Dr. says I had an episode of major depression, I forgot to tell them about my secret obsession,
These words are the closest thing I have to a confession,
When I die take my brain for a case study dissection,
Don’t let my evil said lead you to mis-direction,
When im aware I can make the correction,
What an elusive lie, chasing perfection,
Life is about love and a real connection,
God im tired, give me a symbol give me direction,

Therapy sessions for years, did nothing to help these tears,
Still react with impulsion and anger, watch out for the danger,
the biggest fear ive ever had was the fear of myself,
and the things I was capable of to destroy myself or secure the wealth.
So many secrets it’s a masquerade, im hidden behind my stealth,
The lies created to maintain this alter-ego destroying my mental health,

My biggest pains in life are when I had it all and left it all,
My depression after mania was the biggest fall,
I felt like I was the king of the world, king of the jungle; hear my call,
My ego inflated from my achievements, made me feel tall,
Daddys dream was his oldest boy would play college ball,
Just like the song boys of fall,

Daddys dream wasn’t mine to live,
But that wont stop me from giving all I can give,
Im sorry for the night I was drunk and we got combative,
I shut that night out its not something I want to relive,
Please daddy forgive, now you’re so corroborative.

Now momma I know we do not speak,
The real issue is we don’t want to feel weak,
Why are we so strong, the ones who cant take critique,
Maybe we are so unique, and live life with such technique,
The type of thoughts people think are antique,
Their arguments bleak, our common point is its our mind we speak,

Im ready for the conversation, a common destination,
Where we live in harmony, and actions don’t lead to causation,
I hope my dictation, and the acceptance of your creation,
Allows you to accept me and the ground I call my foundation,
Rebuild our family, together we can create a formation,
Our time and love the only donation, mix em together titration,
It’s a ruination of the family, its everything I wanted it to be,

Ive struggled with every relationship,
With anyone I let close I seem to lose myself and flip the script,
Those evil days I hide in my mind, security equipped and encrypt,
I feel like im writing a manuscript, a story of a man who slipped,
On the struggles of life, and opportunities that have been stripped,

Went to college on a full ride, paid for room and board seen the debt and just about cried,
350 a month to the government talk about a life hurdle that broke my stride,
Since graduation I noticed im the new dr. jekyl and mr hyde,
Success in my life was implied, mental health hit me on my broadside,
Missed my grad school opportunity, I should have applied,
Had love going for me, turned into a landslide,
All I want to do is have a good job and be able to provide,
Im not the only one suffering this epidemic is worldwide,
I just want to sit by the lake side, retire and reside,
Somewhere peaceful where a simple life is implied,
The only downside, is the demon inside me that takes me on the regular for a joyride.

Worked 80 hours a week, drinking a fifth a day,
Most people don’t even know what to say,
To me it was just another day,
Its about to get nasty watch out for the word play,
Life not black and white live in the grey,
Area, mass hysteria, my mind runs astray,
Enough liquor in my blood to make me sway,
One wrong move may be my doomsday,
I write about my life like a final exam essay,
Giving it my all no halfway,
Yea, im making headway, opening the doorway,
For all to enter; serve up my experience like a fine dining entrée,
Living check to check, cant wait for payday,
Maybe someday, ill be on the golden walkway,
To the kingdom of god then ill be okay,
Impulses so strong its hard not to obey,
The other side of me that’s so hard to portray,
When hes manic I get risqué,
Let me paint a picture, get your tickets to the screenplay.

They say its not what you go through, but what you became of it,
My lifes not a stereotype, those stipulations don’t fit,
I seem to get back up after every hit, I couldn’t write this skit,
Im trying to use my ****, my mind feels split, I cant take this ****,
I just want to quit, go to therapy to learn skills and what to omit,
From my life, its hard ill have to admit,
Elementary school I realized I was a misfit,
Dreams in the stars, illuminated and moonlit,
Building a legacy without a permit,
Try to live life so im not a hypocrite.

Shocked by the responses to voice and gods word,
You can say in high school I was a nerd,
Football MVP and valedictorian man that’s absurd,
Wanna know my secret, ask me the password,
Stand on my own, not a part of the heard,
Forgive me for all my problems and troubles that have occurred.

The darkest secret you don’t know,
Is that im not motivated by the dough,
It’s the times where Im feeling high and low,
Sometimes it feels like time is slow,
The biggest crush to my ego,
Was when I had a 20-gauge ready to pull the trigger and blow,
Racking the shells, playing with the ammo,
The rest of my life I was about to forego,
I wanted to let go, because I wanna know
I write to share my story of experience, strength and hope.
In Recovery mentally and Recovering from substance abuse
Mindy Belgard Feb 2018
Momma If I spoke to you would you listen
Even If I said I didn't think my heart could heal anymore

Momma don't you know that I don't feel anymore
That i don't even know what's real. Anymore
Roads getting bumpy but Jesus won't take the ******* wheel anymore
I don't want to breathe no more

Momma would you still love me
Even If you couldn't love yourself
Even tho I'm not who I was before
How did I get so self obsorbed
Can't even save myself from me

Momma don't try and remember who I used to be
Cas Try and try but I don't think I'll ever see
Anything remotely close to me
Your all that's left in me

Momma don't look at me
I'm begging you please
Cas I can't handle the fear In your eyes
Shining through deep inside of my lies
Swimming through feelings now numb and unwise
Can't see through my cleverly constructed  disguise

Momma don't hate yourself for these sins In me
There not your responsibility when there inside of me
I'm scared to death one day you'll run n hide from me
You dont know what I really need
I'm just a broken seed
No hope of flowering

Momma don't you hug me
Youll catch my disease
I'm not worthy
Of your endless loving me
I'm drowning in my own ****
God you must think I'm a *****

Momma Don't you cry over me
Your tears bring me to my knees
I don't want live
Cas I can't stop hurting you
And love is all you ever seem to give into

Momma don't you think that I don't love you
Im messed up broken old n used
My love is there I just don't know how to show it
Why am i here Momma I'm all confused
Every woman right in front of me your still the only one Id choose
As for me seems I'm always a lose
I ******* love you
I need you
Look at just what my greed can do
I wish I couldn't ******* read you
Disappointments on your face
And it's stapled to my waist
Stuck down in a place
I wish I couldn't decieve you

Momma don't you break for me
Just take a break from me
It's what's best for you can't you see
You did not sign up for this you can't afford my hidden fee
Once again for you I'm on my Knees
Prayin for answers give me anything Waiting all your life on me
To do anything

Momma don't give up on yourself
Cas I gave up on me
Give me Hate anger shame pity hopelessness and blame give it all to me let me take it all on for all your pain I've caused
I want make things right
Sometimes your re the only thing keeping me alive
Your far stronger then i could ever strive to be
I think your special but Maybe it's just a mother kind of thing

Momma your an angel and I am a rip in your wing
I'm really sorry for everything
John Stevens Feb 2015
Sunshine comes in many forms.
    -  -  -  -  -  -
That which comes up in the morning
and goes down at night.
And little girls who
are Momma's De-light.
    -  -  -  -  -  -
She rises in the morning
sometimes cloudy,
sometimes bright,
but always Momma's De-light.
    -  -  -  -  -  -
Sometimes she rains tears
torrential they may pour
but comforted by the voice
of the One who loves her so.
    -  -  -  -  -  -
Sometimes she shines bright
the warmth of hugs and smiles.
Love overflowing in the heart,
it's all Momma's De-light.
    -  -  -  -  -  -
Love is forever and always
whether its stormy or bright.
Love covers all situations
For all is Momma's De-light.
    -  -  -  -  -  -
Sunshine's  Eyes and Smiles
Light up the world around her.
Creating more smiles in their eyes
when first they did find her
    -  -  -  -  -  -
When Momma's day is gloomy
Sunshine arrives with much to say
with happy stories, hugs and smiles
to brighten up the cloudiest day.
    -  -  -  -  -  -
When Sunshine goes to bed
it usually can be said
Sunshine's eyes cease to gleam
when energy's gone, time to dream.
    -  -  -  -  -  -
Eyes close and all is well
in Sunshine Land I do tell.
Momma's De-light in peaceful sleep
The day is over, it will keep.
    -  -  -  -  -  -
She is after all
Momma's Sunshine.

02-11-15 (c)
John Stevens
Originally written for Grandma
Changed for my daughter
And granddaughter.
AntRedundAnt Jan 2014
love   apple   like   time   know   feel   heart   bed   little   life   home   red   boy   georgie   sleep   away   left   dear   ruth   gone   just   right   long   mind   hope   hair   mi   parts   say   fear   met   laugh   makes   sailing   make   tell   hands   day   poem   different   small   words   private   wish   legs   child   man   free   te   welcome   easy   apples   meteorite   smile   flower   want   way   arms   look   eyes   better   war   lie   good   thing   truly   teeth   passion   thought   work   seen   letters   friend   talk   brought   future   fingers   knew   imagination   sure   told   space   cold  la   mask   black   big   bite   age   size   shadow   petals   inane   stretchmarks   medic   we've   wouldn't   hear   tap   really   best   goes   face   gray   maybe   things   dream   tongue   forever   hate   set   room   death   need   truth   comes   night   lost   calves   pain   end   years   brings   touch   feet   blades   memories   new   core   times   dead   favorite   finally   minute   brain   hearts   getting   belly   far   rain   blue   knees   filled   stupid   woke   cream   fit   young   brown   se   fat   tan   cough   spoke   says   unlike   footprints   ******   rough   forward   buckle   blues   task   shoulder   grace   *******   reason   nostrils   firm   juice   palms   someday   mis   thumbs   screams   arguments   wobble   *****   elbows   *******   wrists   headaches   amo   pesky   ligaments   one-liners   thoughts   later   ash   clouds   lips   dreams   breath   mouth   hold   sense   taking   world   bit   speak   dance   gave   shall   ready   skin   air   single   breathe   button   peace   choices   hill   wrong   weak   close   use   quite   sky   phrase   darkness   justice   sound   unable   brave   holding   deep   grabbed   ****   try   building   paper   lunch   think   kind   stay   days   smooth   perfect   learned   care   fair   hard   grant   sweet   high   fruit   short   terms   kept   relationship   underneath   presence   water   looking   fool   sorrow   tree   second   delicate   nearly   happy   line   tall   tried   sad   satisfied   point   feels   falling   purpose   game   lazy   que   amor   agree   known   naught   loss   broke   failed   games   limp   grin   final   spring   act   south   flare   race   sake   car   large   wishes   neck   blink   knife   seeing   idea   steve   company   greens   spread   ship   lo   sally   sum   drowned   december   weep   sting   smiles   lessons   promises   successful   whistled   drowns   perfectly   pleasing   failure   brothers   cliche   harder   thirteen   ale   signs   limit   serenity   mundane   origin   chat   sapphires   handshakes   skinny   contagious   succeeding   super   refer   maturity   destination   civil   uncomfortable   collects   clack   liz   beatles   vez   attract   accomplishment   backside   throes   flaccid   audi   oneself   beastie   applesauce   naivete   bungalow   outie   there's   couldn't   isn't   they're   let's   'n   primos   primas   cantuta   fronton   redd's   mott's   innie   phallicly   tiny   fight   yo   para   walk   ****   hello   light   flash   silent   stone   does   forth   conversation   polite   green   minutes   ****   clear   flesh   couple   wake   anger   throw   torn   tangle   play   shattered   soldier   land   victim   carry   battlefield   came   darkest   blood   battle   warm   shine   reminds   lose   eye   dismay   hide   impossible   fast   earth   grab   stand   die   worse   year   people   white   story   hit   god   anxiety   realize   fall   asleep   dark   course   apart   morning   remain   beauty   ****   slowly   start   happen   remember   pray   past   easily   straight   mean   hand   driving   instant   thunder   messages   friends   old   coming   pen   seeds   shape   wasted   word   living   tore   shadows   knowing   bad   class   joy   trust   leaves   path   sun   ways   leave   meet   broken   head   weight   means   mountain   boys   true   stars   learn   sliced   naive   decided   player   actually   reality   ease   music   hood   desperate   promise   wishing   begin   miss   caressing   moan   thighs   heard   pretty   emotion   figure   floor   exotic   sand   hits   angel   awake   dreaming   probably   wins   seek   stretch   loved   tears   heartbreak   punk   walking   piece   furniture   unreachable   roots   near   deserve   simple   cats   tail   precious   lovers   loves   mother   tongues   clueless   share   taken   yesterday   faith   freedom   ripe   cursed   running   yes   unknown   feeling   going   stairs   opposite   wonder   afloat   packed   bones   acting   playing   wind   passions   dismissed   hourglass   reached   stares   mouths   singing   shaped   trapped   toll   dies   rock   trunk   discovered   especially   dull   choice   awful   patient   great   indoors   attached   thread   shoulders   warms   bright   bring   ending   drowning   sadness   winter   baby   looked   cute   beating   tight   kids   crying   ran   intoxicating   growing   saying   opposites   melancholy   gives   follow   clearly   dove   tu   soon   entwined   juicy   drown   laid   took   moved   bear   anyways   shirt   negative   clean   guide   sore   location   faux   nodded   glance   caught   chances   week   started   today   obvious   sweat   ***   quiet   laughed   worry   round   ladies   mama   smack   goodbye   rising   sides   wished   beds   infinite   positive   scared   admittedly   mistakes   meal   common   rises   toes   bullets   bound   suited   birth   clothes   belt   pounds   ground   barren   sitting   table   woe   swimming   stick   deepest   motion   cleared   sing   angry   action   sons   smiled   bedroom   wall   wiped   grins   mad   july   store   road   snow   pulse   important   adventure   exactly   foundation   trap   colors   floors   neon   outside   language   summer   north   fifty   served   wavy   kick   raw   thirty   row   changed   hanging   lied   drenched   companion   begins   strength   flies   direction   okay   stories   inky   stubborn   cloud   track   described   lover   replaced   pit   packs   circling   honest   wage   dinner   slave   paradox   faking   screamed   lightning   exterior   stopping   complete   deal   rifle   dependent   gifts   dancer   vision   students   horror   punch   anymore   pack   sagging   folk   honestly   tearing   prepared   creatures   listening   rhythm   unique   roar   card   glass   stage   desert   offered   fought   suffer   awoke   master   eating   furnace   glad   choir   graceful   *****   treasure   ships   bark   musical   strand   bee   finished   pink   slink   stronger   disclose   gravity   schedule   march   medicine   hates   weird   brush   laughs   helped   june   pitched   dumped   tense   sin   withdrawn   stem   proved   whispered   anew   amazing   louder   english   knocked   chilly   boots   false   mistake   toffee   whistle   smirk   gas   poised   buttons   bet   necks   elate  vi   bleak   decades   intention   plane   swollen   unseemly   en   sir   creeping   tells   success   doth   ***   balance   ant   fourth   fits   matters   pan   shook   tingle   dusty   reaching   thanked   careers   pile   tempt   ix   xi   xii   xiii   moms   hushed   spears   twinkling   works   fairytale   double   fighter   shocked   barriers   boot   thanks   solitary   lesson   owned   systems   groan   weekend   tomatoes   cider   calculating   drawer   partially   handy   stumpy   album   appealing   pet   unfortunately   jokingly   hotel   teacher   tag   eighteen   leg   dash   peep   betwixt   swear   attempt   inescapable   venues   worker   suit   coughed   remembers   rhyme   listed   chatter   stuff   assist   blocks   sheen   stanzas   jobs   cleaned   handshake   natural   moi   fantasy   cheers   smaller   curl   nay   leaning   frequent   eggs   cuando   el   desayuno   tus   beige   imperfections   difficult   darlings   overcome   oranges   keys   newfound   fairly   occasions   stats   ponder   pools   ablaze   rushes   fret   quell   breads   progress   comfortable   settling   desks   tile   trails   rainy   homemade   stunned   cemetery   plus   ideas   avocados   bananas   apply   latch   rocky   digress   experiences   vacation   sanctuary   earlier   rocket   precise   various   author   pie   explosions   *******   lighter   matched   plunged   isaac   jefferson   abe   measured   saturday   claw   welcoming   gear   trained   suffocation   leapt   gap   lee   disturbed   es   thrill   alarming   grill   frankly   importantly   una   fray   candied   amalgamation   nasty   american   optimism   guns   craters   contracted   rampant   unattainable   spilled   courts   carrots   shuffled   combined   blonde   forgave   artillery   sandwich   comfier   limitation   personalities   friday   strongly   crude   banana   tennis   limits   quaking   recesses   loot   andromeda   shells   playful   luckily   area   upwards   flail   largest   sappy   freckles   biology   fruition   cases   overtook   pinks   instruments   brownies   birthmark   reinforce   laptop   pirates   blinks   frontier   forwards   resonate   capacity   mumbled   marched   scraping   prompts   multiply   haiku   football   como   function   unfeeling   eighty   backsides   prompt   raced   blare   likewise   pro   chrome   gran   pears   puede   corazon   elated   indecisive   basketball   burgundy   synonyms   braced   effeminate   mutually   duties   companies   honeymoon   flailing   patted   mayo   headon   pero   misma   marveled   aforementioned   abhors   forefront   hesitating   identical   creepy   possessive   screeched   gotcha   infidelity   friction   barrage   nonetheless   disparate   itchy   apex   gettysburg   lunchtime   pickup   muchas   then   and   trading   distinguishable   pitches   bunk   ven   ladylike   encompasses   diagrams   underlying   spaghetti   soccer   trashcan   papa   disarming   finalmente   clashed   rosie   smirks   snapshot   pug   songbird   spitfire   yanks   thankfully   mesa   flexing   virginia   effectively   variations   eclipses   tambien   outrun   incident   vitamin   willpower   underdog   hardboiled   miniscule   checkerboard   entrust   siento   heavyweight   davis   thyroid   foreshadowing   frances   heresy   starburst   deficiency   sawing   peruvian   leche   antithesis   villanelle   alliteration   hora   vivir   clacking   droopy   whizzed   britney   futbol   parameters   disney   mangos   disproportionate   orbiting   tanka   stubby   intro   listo   goldilocks   teamwork   pbj   exemplifies   rey   retainer   tenia   triples   espanol   estuvo   castillo   ferrying   suficiente   racecar   dorky   garganta   veo   julio   peripherals   labios   rojos   foreseeable   frito   groggily   venn   macbook   inanely   hubo   goofball   you've   she's   weren't   wasn't   we're   others'   you'll   should've   haven't   what's   you'd   they'd   man's   boys'   god's   woman's   fruit's   orion's   newton's   lincoln's   adam's   momma's   ******   jackson's   audis   dulces   disproportionately   charon's   deseos   avocadoes   hailey   eran   beatles'   ingles   he   she   it   rackets   --   hashtag   sixty-three   duct-tape   joysticks   sherman's   15   6th   32   500   7th   2013   extraño   barenaked   tamales   6-year-old   tierras   derpy   ewell   rom-com   themit's   adan   mudpits   puddlepits   war--hell   culp's   shitpits   completaron   chocolatada   levantanse   duraznos   n'sync   huevo   cholitos   levantaron   manzanas   endurece   wozniak's   dispara   nuez   open-endedness   innies   cankles   dunder-mifflin   tunks   buck-toothed   outies   grief-blown   a-gawking
I uploaded all of my past work onto the site already, so everything from here on out will be new and original. This is sort of an experimental idea of mine: take all the words hellopoetry has tracked for me, put it down as if it were a poem, and see how it flows. It actually kind of works sometimes, but I'm not sure. I'm sure it's mostly terrible, but I wanted to try it. Let me know what you think in the comments below!
Apple juice Feb 2020
Surprise surprise
Daddy didn’t show
Daddy doesn’t care
Daddy doesn’t know
Daddy does care
Daddy knows best
Then why does daddy make empty promises?
Daddy says this
Daddy says that
Daddy buys us gifts
To make up for what he missed
Daddy met a girl
She was daddies world
Next thing you know she replaces daddies little girl
What used to be daddies girl grew up in an empty world
No longer daddies only girl
Daddy left her all alone
No daddy to buy us gifts
No daddy to see his kids
Momma took the blame when daddies girl misbehaved
Daddy had no part in his little girls birthdays
What once was daddies girl
Became a lonely world just a reminder of what used to be daddies girl
Surprise surprise
Daddy isn’t here
Let it be up to daddies to up and disappear
Daddy says funny things
Funny things about wedding rings
Daddy has a lot of flings whatever that means
Momma and daddy don’t get along
Daddy’s mean to momma when momma does something wrong
Mommas mean to daddy when bills aren’t met
Daddy buys gifts for other girls that’s why we’re in debt
Daddy’s mean to momma
Daddy makes momma cry
Daddy’s mean to momma until sunrise
Daddy slams the door
What was that for?
Daddy went to the store
Why is momma torn?
Momma says daddy has another little girl one to buy toys for one with daddy’s curls
What was wrong with this daddies girl?
Why did daddy decide to give up his whole world
Momma said things will get better
But this little girl turned sour and bitter
Surprise surprise
Daddy didn’t show
Daddy said he’ll be watching from the front row
Daddy’s little girl practiced every day till dawn
Just so she could show daddy her moves were spot on
The curtains about to rise
I don’t see daddy what a surprise
The shows about to start
Daddy’s gonna miss my part
Daddy said he’ll be there
Daddy doesn’t lie
Daddy will be here in no time
About to go on stage now
There she goes with her little crown
“Why is that pretty girl wearing a frown?”
Daddies a no show
So this little girl turned stone cold
There’s momma in her pretty gown
Too bad daddy isn’t here to see
How pretty mommy can be
What can you do
Daddy doesn’t stay true
Surprise surprise
Daddy isn’t home
Mommas sitting here waiting by the phone
I’m getting sleepy
But mommas still sitting here weeping
Uh oh what to do
Daddy came home with the reak of b.ooze
What can you do
What did I do wrong? There’s no telling
Daddy won’t stop yelling
Daddy’s getting meaner
Where’s mommy when I need her
Daddy won’t get off of me
Daddy, why are you on top of me?
Surprise surprise
Daddies little prize
Grew up in a web of lies
Poor daddies girl in a lonely world
No daddy to love
No daddy to hug
Just a mean daddy
Who takes off her p.a.n.tees
Surprise surprise
This daddy is no daddy of mine
Let this be true
That all daddies can fool you
During dark times while in residential i discovered the coping skill of poetry and this..this is my favorite out of every piece I bring to life this one takes me and exposes the most vulnerable parts of my Inner being and now I share with you something that holds so much truth.
John Stevens Apr 2012
The little girl stood, with cone in hand. The ice cream on the ground.
The tears welled up in her eyes, as people stood around.
Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking, she didn’t know what to do.
Then through the tears, saw Momma kneeling… Saying, “Momma’s here for you.”

Momma said to the ice cream man “Another ice cream please.”
“Stack it high and pack it tight.” “We’ve got things to do and see.”
The little girl melted into her arms The sorrow turned to joy.
When Momma’s near, all is better For Momma’s little girl.

Oh, Momma loves you Brenna Girl, forever and always.
When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze.
When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there.
I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there .

The little girl grew to a fine young lady. The time went by so fast.
She learned of things not of this world. The things that will always last.
You could see Momma and the young lady, Walking side by side through life.
When things got tough they called on Him, To help them through the strife.

Oh, Momma loves you Brenna Girl Forever and always.
When things get tough, call on Him He will lead you through the maze.
When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find me waiting there.
I’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get there.

Momma cried when Brenna died. As they lowered her in the ground.
Tears welled up, in her eyes As people stood around.
Tears fell like rain, her heart was breaking. She knew just what to do.
So she looked up high to see the Father And heard “Brenna’s here for you.”

Brenna loves you Momma Dear Forever and always.
When things get tough, call on Me I will lead you through the maze.
When you get to Heaven, many years from now. You will find her waiting here.
She’ll be by the ice cream stand a waiting Just for you to get here

Oh, Momma loves you Brenna Girl Forever and always.
When things get tough, I’ll call on Him to lead me through the maze.
When I get to Heaven, a few years from now. I’ll find you waiting there.
You’ll be kneeling right next to Jesus While waiting for me to get there.

Good night sweet Princess. See you in the morning

(c) 04-07-2012
Brenna sustained a brain injury 2010.  She died 6 months ago, at home after a struggle, in the arms of her mother.  Her mother is coping with the use of a blog.  Her story is at:
http://condemnedtodie2012.blogspot.com/
"This for the Moms out there, you know
what I'm saying who done told their kid shit but
they don't wanna listen and have to go through the
hard way of finding s
hit out Know what I'm saying,
cause I Was one of them kids..."

"Tell me who knows a peaceful place that I can go
to clear my head I'm feeling low"
Losing control
Losing control
Losing control
Losing control

Ay Momma!

"Tell me who knows a peaceful place that I can go
to clear my head I'm feeling low
Losing control
Losing control
Losing control
Losing control...

Ay Momma!

Wish I could turn my **** around and did it how you told me
don't **** with everybody every smile aint your homie
I had to learn the hard way most people is phonies
played that tough guy role then they snitching on me
and member when you said the truth rule everything
never believe everything a person telling me
and jealousy is always close than you ever think
that was some real **** Mama you the best to me
and the way you raised me giving you applaud for that
my mother my father my friend girl you're all of that
a hard head started opening loud packs
involved with gats
soldier known for
walking off with sacks
I like that then I thought I need to try that
the right stack I guarantee you I could buy that
and notice just how you leave and come right back
they say you going down the wrong hit the right track..."

Tell me who knows a peaceful place that I can go
to clear my head I'm feeling low
Losing control
Losing control
Losing control
   Losing control...

Ay Momma!

Tell me who knows a peaceful place that I can go
to clear my head I'm feeling low
Losing control
Losing control
Losing control
    Losing control...

Ay Momma!

If you could look in my eyes you'll see all the pain that I felt
another victim to the streets moving that cain for the wealth
my pops never gave a fuck at night I anger myself
puffing **** till my eyes bleed they say that danger my health
but f
uck it my mind corrupt from all the **** that done happen
and rest in peace to my papi I love you I have you imagine
coming up where I came from it aint fun
when people die every day over the same stuff
and cops notice your game until you change up
I love my mother she claim tough she aim up
a lot of jealous muh fuckers no name for
with no fingers
it's f
uck you when I get famous
I aim to see a billion for I'm dead sir
I think about this paper so much my head hurt
Stay on the grind legit now but I did dirt
my time to shine Ima dive in this game head first

Tell me who knows a peaceful place that I can go
to clear my head I'm feeling low
Losing control
Losing control
Losing control
   Losing control...

Ay Momma!

Tell me who knows a peaceful place that I can go
to clear my head I'm feeling low
Losing control
Losing control
Losing control
Losing control...

Ay Momma!
One of the best rap songs you'll never hear on the radio
2Pac sample
"Tell me who knows a peaceful place that I can go
to clear my head I'm feeling low"
Naomie Jan 2015
Momma , momma you're pulling
My hair.
Shut up  , girl you think I
Care?
Momma , momma don't yell at
Me.
Shut it girl , I'm making you
Pretty.
Momma , momma do you
Love me ?
Little girl , I'd rather love
A tree !
Momma , momma hates her one and only ..
Fel Sep 2014
July 17th 2014 11:49 PM

On the day I was born
I was given the name Felicia
Because my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

By the time I was a toddler
I did not think much of beauty
Nor did I think much of myself
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When I started school
I started to see beauty.
I thought it meant blonde hair
And pastel coloured skirts
I had neither, but did not think much of it
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

By the time I was in third grade
I saw beauty even more
I saw it in my mother,
My friends and my teachers.
I thought it meant a smaller body
But that, I didn't know or think
Until I found out I was ten pounds lighter than my oldest brother.
He weighed 140. 
I started to really think about beauty
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

By the time I started middle school
Things had really changed
I was not like my peers
I felt unbeautiful and awkward.
I began to loathe myself
I started seeing beauty
In everything but me.
Found fake love once
Forever scarred my heart.
Started developing phobias,
Couldn't be seen with some people
Couldn't let anyone hear me breathe.
I thought way too much of beauty
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When I was in seventh grade
I thought beauty meant good clothes
Pretty smiles
Fatter wallets
And thinner waistlines
(All of which I had none of)
I thought a lot about beauty
Decided to try something new
One
         Two
                   Three thin slices into my skin
(Found out cutting wasn't really my thing)
I made good friends
Tons of bitter enemies
That all, I felt, were prettier than me
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When eighth grade rolled around
I knew lots about beauty
But started caring for little of it.
Homelessness had racked my life
I worried more about keeping up with school
And picking up a new instrument
Than worrying about beauty
That I still thought a little about.
I made friends that didn't care either
I decided I can live my life
Ugly, in poverty, fat, and awkward
Although some nights I still did cry
About how I never had a boyfriend 
About how no one ever showed interest in me
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

When I started high scho
Beauty was everywhere I turned
But a developing affair I had
With the lovely marching arts
Took all my worrying and cares
Away from beauty
But not completely.
I thought beauty meant
Shorter shorts
Tanner skin
Straighter hair
And an older age.
I was bullied for being a freshman
And often picks on for being far
I didn't  care much to look at myself in the mirror often
But I outwardly cared much less about  everything
Putting off a persona.
Found better friends
And less bitter enemies
That I thought much be a little prettier than me
Also found some bad friends
That couldve gotten me in trouble
Ones that helped create a nasty habit
Of taking things that weren't mine
I however saw a little beauty in myself
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

Now, when I was a sophomore
I believe I truly found myself.
If  not all, then bits of myself.
I made even greater friends
Maybe even found love
And an ever deepening love for the marching arts.
I thought beauty meant
Great musical skill,
Being a good person,
An having a passion for something greater than yourself.
I  started to find beautiful things in people
That we're sometimes reflected in me.
Does that mean I  started to think I was beautiful?
I guess it does.
But I started to accept myself.
All my strengths
My flaws and my quirks and weaknesses
And I believe that comes along with finding yourself.
However,
Academic life started to slip
I did not care much for it
Did not care much for anything, really
But two things:
Love. And band.
Which both have kept me from
Falling into a deep dark abyss
That both of my siblings have experienced and ensures
One I do not safe fall into.
My nasty habit
Had only deepened
And gotten even more daring.
And still, my momma thought I was beautiful and happy

Today
I am fast approaching junior year
I am becoming a young adult
And I see beauty in everything
Myself included
It's amazing
And truly liberating
To feel this way
To not worry
Of what others think of me.
I still have phobias I had developed earlier
I still have the scars where I thought a solution may be found
And I still have a nasty habit
Yet I feel beautiful.
Some days are bad
Most days are good.
I have accepted myself enough
To take a step out of denial
And head toward the truth of change
And still
Through everything
(Although there is much here she does not know about)
My momma thinks I'm beautiful and happy.
always anxious Mar 2015
Dearest friend, parent, lover
Whoever might be reading this
I'm sorry i couldn't stay strong.
I'm sorry i couldn't stand it anymore
It's not anyones fault, i just wasn't meant to be here.
Just like those flowers that never bloom. They just grow and starts hanging a bit, then dies.

Dear younger siblings.
Don't look up to me, look up to people like daddy or momma, they're happy, i weren't. One life lesson i've learnt is that happiness doesn't come without courage, but with too much courage you'll get tired and let go when you finally get there, and you'll end back where you started.

Dear older "sister"
You know who you are and you're probably reading this right now, smiling at how i mention you as my sister. You're the best person to ever be in my life, and even though you told me a couple of years ago that you were lesbian i never rethought the meaning of your hugs, cause i know we're sisters.
If it wasn't for you i would have done this a lot earlier so thank you.

Dear parents.
Don't cry, i'm not worth your beautiful tears..  I have nothing more to say than i know you lost me, but don't lose courage.

Dear best friend.
Thank you for always being there.
Thank you for telling me that everything will be alright.. It just hurts me to say that you were wrong.. And i'm sorry cause i know this will bring you pain.. But i know you have some other. Nice friends who'd support you.

Dear stranger.
I'm sorry if i was goind to know you in my no longer exisisting future.. You're better off without me anyways..

Dear myself.
I'm sorry i can't hold on anymore, i know that you had your happy times, and that a lot of people longed for your life, but i couldn't stand it anymore..

Dear person
I'm sorry the voices became too much.
I'm sorry i ran out of place to make scars.. I'm sorry i couldn't stand this inner pain anymore.. Dear person.. I'm sorry.. Goodbye..
((I am just gonna make it clear that i am not killibg myself.. I just want to write my suicide note so i have it when i do.))
Rosà Aug 2018
My momma taught me how to swim,
But I don't know why I am drowning now
Drowning in my own sea of tears
Caused by my untold sad stories
Of the past that keeps on haunting me,
Of the present which tames me into the "supposed-to-be"
And of the future which pressures me to be prepared upon.


My momma taught me not to cry whenever someone hurts me,
But how can I not
When my enemy is myself?
I constantly open my flesh using the silver metal
And the metallic smell of blood makes me feel alive
As the searing pain roar me to life
How can I not cry?


My momma taught me how to help others
That I shouldn't be selfish
That I should adhere to other people's rules
But how can I help them,
When I can't even help myself from tearing apart?
From killing myself slowly?
How can I?


My momma taught me to never surrender
But momma, you never asked my state right now


Why are you crying?
Your tears continuously fall on the glass of my coffin
Momma, your make up is smearing across your face


Momma, momma
The real you!
The real you is revealed
Without those make up, your dark circles showed up
And a tear on your lips became visible!

Momma, momma
I know that dad was beating you too
That's why I chose not to rely on you because I don't want to add up to your burdens.
Momma, I love you good bye.
Hush momma, please do not cry
Hush momma, please do not die
Please stay from deaths' cold touch
Hush momma, please hush

Hush momma, I am here
Hush momma, do not fear
Into Heaven do not rush
Hush momma, please hush

Hush momma, you are cold
Hush momma, you I hold
My heart is going to crush
Hush momma, please hush
Sitting here in class I am today, minding my business as they would say. I’m listening to the teacher teach but hearing only things left beyond my reach. Another whole day in this **** school so I can come out each night 'more-of-a-fool,' and would it behoove them all to know, I ain’t no dummy, no 'coffee-Joe'?

  …but then I’d have to get the chance, the opportunity provided to advance and the equal treatment they all receive that somehow has been lost on me. Why do I even come here? Why does my Mom insist on this? They don’t call on me, care about me, acknowledge me, it’s ridiculous. At lunch each day I gotta use my fists and even my own kind acts wicked, cause for the rest of them fighting is all that exists.

  Exists; having objective reality or being.

  I exist alright; exist if you call this a life, defined by ******, **** and monkey, or related to some stupid-actin’ ****** or some dumb brawler or that dude good at running but never ever seen as intelligent and cunning. The girls ignore me, teachers too, white guys hate me, what did I do? What did I ever do to them? I’m just like you, I just want some friends, want the chance in life to succeed, man shut up about being freed that **** happened a hundred and fifty ******* years ago, I’m just as sick of hearing about it as you are 'Bro.'

  They say I have rights, they say that it’s fair, they say there’s a chance for me everywhere, but everywhere I look that’s not what I see, I’m put-down and degraded cons-tant-ly, told that I should join the team, or passed over in conversations about some thing. Forced to be friends with thugs that hate but to them at least I can relate, for just like me they was excluded or marginalized when told that they are deluded; they’ll never make it anyway, never achieve their dreams, never have their say so why even bother when no one cares how you feel, when your dreams in life won’t ever be real, when you end up in the streets and all you got left is to steal, when its still,

“Go back to Africa ******!”

...they say with zeal and the vitriol an violence comport surreal, Helen didn’t hold this secret to reveal nor does rap, truthfully, with these problems deal? Cocooned by stares and ****-sure glares, because your own sports brothers hate your *** and make you just wanna ditch that class, so here I ended up on the streets, hangin' round on my crew’s beats, acting tough, street-cred and clout and there your 'momma-an-sister' out n’ about, while here I am a fresh drop-out and can you guess what?

Here we come to take her purse, I clock your mom’s mouth and shove down your sister but ***** you boy I could’ve done much worse, she could’ve lost her life and come home in a hearse!

  Is this the ****** ya’ll wanted to see? All filled up inside with hatred, cause I was told that I would never make it, from day one got no attention, spent half of high school in afternoon detention, training me for my future as a prison convict yet another sign our society is depraved and sick. Given no chance or help or just some praise, no moments to shine and no Happy Days, he’s just a gang-banger, a **** they say? My actions may be worse than your words assail, and well, that may be me and I may be in jail but here’s something from my Grand Momma, a little encouragement goes a long way to change this drama...

You see me on the street you better ******* run cause you already know what’s in my jacket son and my hoodie will be up so you can’t see my face since I already know what you think of my race.
I guess these are rhyming stories really. I grew up poor in rough neighborhoods and majority-minority schools. This piece is a tribute to tribulations of poor African Americans which I know all too well having grown up in their neighborhoods.
Foliage Sep 2016
Momma when you said you loved her too much to see her fail right then she knew that you never saw past her mask.
Nobody did
She did too well of a job
The mask was fading, and it was cracking
She had to go before it fully broke off.
She had always dreamed of throwing it to the ground
and watching it shatter into a million pieces
and laughing
and crying
and holding hands with the people that she loved
She then realized the truth
That it will never happen
Cause Momma, your baby girl has killed herself
It may come as a shock or a cry or a stun but she did
When she was sixteen years old
On that day when her life was given to her
She ended it
She ended it because she was selfish
And she was a coward.
She stole the pills from the cabinet
and she had a glass of Dr. Pepper
and she was in her room
and she tried to think of reasons to not do it
to spit them out
to glue the pieces of her mask back into place
or maybe make a new one
but she couldn't
cause Momma, she was so tired
She was tired of herself
She hated herself
She tried to fight it for the longest time
She told the people who meant most to her
She tried
Oh, Momma, she tried really hard
But she couldn't do it.
She never proclaimed she had it
She never tried to parade around
She tried to make it seem like she was fine
She was dandy
She was happy
But Momma, she wasn't
She never was
She was tired of losing every battle with her thoughts
She was tired of succumbing to her poisoned mind
She was tired of pretending like everything was okay
Because Momma, she was selfish, and she was a brat
She wanted things her way
She wanted people to care about her
To make her their number one priority
To make them care about her feelings and her dreams and her tears and her smiles
She tried so hard
She was clingy
She was jealous
She was obsessive
She was stupid
She was sad
Momma, she was sad
Because through all this no one could see past the mask she had built
And no matter how much her true face was exposed
No one said anything
No one noticed
No one cared
So Momma
On the day that she was born
She took her own life
Because she was selfish
She said "don't worry, you'll be fine"
She said "you'll be okay without me
You'll live without me"
To her family she said
"Momma, you can have my earrings
Daddy, you can have my computer
Brother, you can have my books"
To her friends she said
"My best friend, share my secrets
My partner, share my love
My sisters, share my happiness
Because I won't be there to give any more
I've run dry
There is nothing left inside
I loved to those who needed it
But none was ever returned they way I gave it
These things went wrong too many times
Too many mistakes I've made
Not enough good ever came out of my actions
I might be good for you
But I'll never be good for myself"
Momma when you said you loved her too much to see her fail
right then she knew that you never saw past her mask.
The mask broke down
And she wept goodbye
Nat Lipstadt Nov 2013
Road Trip: Thinking it's about time (find yourself within II)

This particular poem was born as a one line response to a message.  But in many other forms, half written, it exists still, un, unfinished, waiting for the next burst energy, the next holiday time, to reach a new finish line.

This is a different but similar to a poem posted on June 2nd, "Poetry Round (find your self within)"

Any error of omission is unintentional, but know that this took many hours, until fatigue won. If you never told or revealed to me your location, know that you will be called out, to and unto me, in another poem, called "your banner is my flag."


Fact about me:  You design me.
-------------------------------------------------------

th­inking it's about time for a road trip.

create an excuse
(reasons, I got a plenty)
to stop by,
to show you another side of me,
for a drink, a meal,
and some kind
of exchange, of
form and fluids,
manner to be determined.

to come to Minneapolis,
watch you create a heated sensuality,
verbally, from melted snowdrifts,
a hot time to be had
by all the poets
of the mini-apple,
I want to meet
and celebrate ann victory.

travel to Thiruvananthapuram,
tour the treasures
of gold and diamonds,
from whence come
the bejeweled poems,
that have earned visits from
thousands upon thousands,
pilgrims, devotees, followers,
to partake at that, his,
special temple.

Gomer, Gomer,  & MJJ,
I am in your Florida,
no, sorry, not in Ocala,
near to your homer,
and I feel you springer
ten times in the
November sun rays,
that have me locked
in a full Nelson,
your productivity,
endless,
a sea of orange sunburnt words,

Tennessee,
The Carolinas,
Georgia,
The South,

I rise with it,
now, again,
that I will need a slow
sunny all lazy summer long to
learn y'alls ways,
see the wolves,
in your forests,
helm the riverboats,
navigate the quaint tides
of Charleston,
the special places
where they heal, le ville,
where the ashes of
burnt children,
retuned to be whole.

learn y'alls ways,
walk in your boots,
of seeing poems
using your special
southern saber words.

missed the original
Thrilla-in-Manila,
but rest easy, assured,
that hotbed of creativity,
where I check the
PH of the mc waters
to comprehend its
wisdom and now, it's sadness,
will be an illustrious destination
on my itinerant itinerary,
stopping by Makati City,
after all,
it is writ in the good book,
this island,
the PhilippineS,
is the birthplace
of the letter S,
Samples: samson, sally,
and So many others?

in Nevada City,
which is of course in
krazy California,
wager philosophy, romance,
be available for
succinctly seeing
works in progress,
from which I
will imbibe,
so **** deeply,
may have to
stay awhile for...

while I am there,
will need to do
a search and
Hug Mission,
to find a special man,
his unkempt prose,
his mortal rhymes
disguise not his holy worth,
even to the grassy
cal-stratosphere,
to the mesosphere,
will I high fly,
to find his sweetest spot,
then and thereafter
going looking
further on to
Humboldt County.

in Leeds, in West Yorkshire,
(Hamphshirians, Northamptontonians,
patience please)
built foundries and factories
over the magical forest of Loidis,
near to the river Aire,
yet still hides a
magical sorceress of words,
casting spells over
men and beast.
no one has seen full
her half-turned away face,
but when she summons,
do I have a choix
other than obey?
even if I get lost,
my sorceress,
you know,
I am on way too.

to get there,
will fly I must,
to Heathrow hell,
will do it,
just for you,
faithful friend,
a man da gotta do, what
a man gotta do...for you,
but first a stop off at the
London School of Economics,
Hampstead as well,
for a tutorial about sonnets,
or sams in wells,
even if I come
in my bare feet.

even in New York Upstate,
a man da gotta do,
what he mulls over in his heart,
be not surprised at a knock upon
your door, to make comparative notes,
about each other's tattoos.

in the South African veld,
hid in the highland grasses,
crouches the poetesses and tigresses,
waiting to ambush you
with words that must be seen
to be heard, to be well understood.
perhaps I'll come at ester time,
under blue indigo skies over,
a golden landscape,
seizing all the gems
that can be seen
only at 3:00am

leeward,
north to Canada,
must I, transgress,
country of my momma's birth,
fly from Montreal to Toronto, Calgary
then over to Vancouver.
Canada,
a dangerous place for me,
cause there are beautiful
souls up there,
and maybe even a
warrant to
repossess mine,
they want their
poets back.

double down by ferry,
me to Seattle,
to see a man about river,
in the Pacific Northwest,
where I have happily
drowned so many times,
that The Lord is complaining,
am hogging all the baptismal waters,
but when reminded that
nothing lasts forever,
here tomorrow,
gone today, walk on,
I add my tears
to that river,
before hitting the road.

on that river,
gonna drive me a kayak,
down Daytonway,
on the Yamill River,
see a gyreene marine,
watching me do a beach landing,
in Willamette Wine Park.
he will teach me to salute,
I will teach him how to
shake hands,
and learn from him,
it's ok,
to stand down.

man o' man
there are a lots of poets,
in these here parts,
this grand
Pacific North West,
looking for one in particular,
who will be quite easy to spot,
as he is my very own
soul brother.

will be easy to find,
though we have never met,
he will be on his kayak,
I on mine,
tho when he paddles,
somehow he manages
to hold
never letting go
of, his lovely bride,
his best half's hands.

this will a problem,
for I must teach him how to
shake two handed souls,
while hugging and paddling,
even bailing,
with an old dented pail
simultaneous.
but you can teach old dogs
new tricks, even the ones,
that can't spell
rhymers.

have mercie on me Ohio,
like a mother has to her daughter,
done a three year sentence in Cleveland,
but no jail can hold an NYC boy,
but if requested, yes I will return
to set fire to the *
Cuyahoga,
again! he he he...
but do not s mock me!
(now you know why the FBI loves
my poetry, my biggest institutional fan).

souls in torment,
where you be,
where you hide,
matters not where
you physical reside,
for we have found
each other
in each other words.

You, who live in
your very own
personal hell,
I think we met there,
because
yours was
mine too,
tho not found
on any map.

maybe I will meet the
Empress Josephine Maria,
rowing on the canals of
the Netherlands,
no longer will she be
alone.

but then again, some
very special things,
like
the purest of love
are on no map,
they are everywhere.

while in India,
will seek the many musings of many lips
of aged rhyme men
and complicated charmers
so I may kiss them
with spiced humors
to pour and pour,
more and more,
upon this western soul,
mysteries of the east,
to Kashmir, Bangalore,
wherever I must,
even take a praDip in the Ganges,
I will go, find you,
un-hide you,
among the
teeming millions,
millions of
jokes and rhymes,
that make the
world spin brighter.

in Germany,
all the university students
speak English,
in Wiesbaden, they know
poetic beauty is not in the format,
some in Bamberg,
with a peculiar
Missouri accent,
which is nicht gut Englisch,
so study hard the real way,
speak the language
the new yorka way,
which will require
study abroad,
which is quite funny,
now that I think about it.

but in Mo.,
the native drums roll,
long and slow,
making words
I know
better, different,
in a way never saw before,
leaves me asking for,
mo', mo', please?

to get there, to Allemagne,
land of my forefathers,
a ship I will take,
from Southampton
across the Kiel Canal,
before I depart,
will have my hair cut,
my words reworked,
by her Ladyship,
whose keen eyes and
maternal instincts,
see the joy of life in every
Livvi little thing.

Watt am I going to do if
I need to find a Tecumseh,
taker of my naked poems,
and enlarger of them,
so truth by her,
all revealed,
we are all naked
at least,
twice a day?

In Nepal I will purr at the words
gleaned from the markets and
train stations where
voyages from Lalitpur to Katmandu,
start and end,
where there is a miracle almost
sixteen years young,
where they call their schools
future stars and little angels,
so why should poetic miracles not be
as common as its subtropical clime?

though I despise the
Dallas Cowboys,
not my  America's team,
nonetheless there is a young woman,
a true rose of Texas,
who waits and writes
so lovingly of her airman,
in Afghanistan, I have placed
their names first,
in my nighttime prayers,
hoping to be there,
schedule my visit,
to witness his safe return
and their
joyous reunification.

there are no Mayans in Maine,
but poets of similar name,
kould be, mae be,
Julia's in Jersey, new,
in Auckland,
there are poets
who don't know it,
and Down Under, too,
where getting high is easy,
getting high at
and on words
well marshaled ,
but **** sure I will be
peering and prring,
all the way.

Oregon,
don't be gone,
those wide eyes shut,
when I come by,
who knows when I
will pass this way again...
on my way to Phoenix,
where sunrayes bend to the
desires of dessert breezes.

Kentucky to Korea,
one long road to travel,
but middle son,
if you can do it,
so can I, and,
I will follow.

in a beautiful city,
unsurprisingly called
Belleville,
the leader of the band,
still leads us in belle 'noise'
and when he finishes
fall leafing us in song, he still,
rises up in the mid of dark,
prayerful haikus to write.

off to Rogers, Arkansas
to meet an Italian from Mexico
who specializes in skinny poems,
something one day I will be too.

maybe I will go to
places it snows,
there are so many,
but your photo,
and tattoo trail,
clues, will follow,
no matter how hard
you make it a mystery.

you, who live in just
the world,
don't even think,
that crazy dotted lines,
unstraight,
or huge plains,
are sufficient,
to hide your
moody dust trail
from me!

somewhere in the USA,
roses grow in ground
that needs the
watering of tears,
though this place
is hard to find,
ha, turn around,
that is me,
tapping you,
on the shoulder!

will find you,
as I am searching for
a lovely pair
of stockinged ankles,
each with a heart tattoo,
but I sure could use
a clue,
before this hobbit searches
all the shire,
derby hatted,
to find your
heart real, and the real you...

my mode of time travel?
why I am just
a dude on a rocket ship.

Wisconsin,
look for my ruby message
in the snow,
in the dust,
in the sand, the skies, the sea,
but will you answer me?

Pittsburgh,
patient, you've been,
you thought I forgot
all about you,
chimera  at the intersection
of three rivers,
all you need wonder,
upon which one
will my ship arrive
and why you still disbelieve
you are not a poetess!

ME oh my,
you too, a hidey hole got,
but, we are strange, we humans,
we would gladly bleed to please,
If we could but find
a combination of
new words that
would your heart gladden,
your eyes tear,
your lips wear,
a smile of pleasure
at our offerings poetic!
but still I know not,
the where!

Lagos,
where
I shall climb the tallest skyscraper,
calling out in Yoruba,
where is my Temitope?
where is mine,
worthy of thanksgiving
so I may carry my Popoola,
my pole of her of
written wealth?


Mombasa, Singapore,
Maryland, Rhode Island, Kentucky,
Huddersfield, Connecticut Joe, Ireland,
South Dakota,

where the merry elders
well ken somethings
about a moon and tattered clouds,
something about children and dogs,
and something about letting
tomorrow's wait.

Milwaukee, Atlanta,
chuck, in *PA.,
friend to all,
to all those scattered across these
United States of America.

can we dare not mention
"The Shaq" of Malaysia,
South Sudan, Pakistan,

of course not!

Suburbia,
beautiful, black San Diego, Detroit;

The BBB's -

British Columbia, Brazil, Breendonk, and
B'kara!
the goodness of *
Boston,
flipping out in Flipadelphia,

did you think I would forget ya?

those of you hiding among 64 stars,
the groves of L.A',
on the lanes,
the special land of I-sia-Bella,
fellow citizens of Neverland,
those of you 'at home,'
in the land of nightmares,
concrete boxes,
those who post without a doubt,
and in the box,
this who think your birth year
is an identifying mark, not,
you never fooled me,
will visit each and everyone.


even and especially,
the grays of crosstown
NYC,
the red writers of my hood,
the tylers too.

I am exhausted,
forgive me well,
if thy locale,
I did not explicate,
for the hour is very late.

yet thru subtle fissures
in the clouds,
look for a tired old man
on the wings of a
chariot drawn by angels,
bringing you a dictionary
full of new words,
a present for you,
but truly,
a present to himself
for from it,
your future poems
will come.

*but the sun has come up,
so now I sleep.
1.  What makes this poem special, if anything, is the trust and confidences we share with each other, that allowed me to perhaps catch just little bit something special of each of you, where I could.

2. Can anyone explain to me why the site labels this poem explicit?
Daddy liked his whiskey
Momma liked her smokes
Momma cursed like crazy
Dad told ***** jokes
To all the people 'round here
They was ordinary folks
Momma puffed on camels
Dad drank whiskey cokes

I dropped out of high school
By the time I was fourteen
I had no direction
And I got mighty mean
Sis, she had two babies
But neither one was seen
And to all the people 'round here
We were just both normal teens

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
You do not want to grow and be like me
Listen to what I tell you, don't you do the things you see
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
Nope, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree

When ever there is fighting
Folks 'round here go  blind
They all have got their secrets
they don't want us to find
That apples in around their house
Are not quite as designed
It's best to look at others
For the truth, it isn't kind

Momma kept on smoking
Daddy drank his rye
sis and I both left here
No one ever asked them why
Nothing changes ever
so nobody will try
and all the folks around here
live inside this little lie

The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
You do not want to grow and be like me
Listen to what I tell you, don't you do the things you see
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree
Nope, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree
Lauren Johnson Jan 2018
Momma says to eat your greens
but that spinach looks like something that you could pull out of a shower drain
I never listen

Momma says not to talk to strangers
but I’m too friendly not to talk to the guy who said hi at the grocery store
I never listen

Momma says he’s seems indifferent
but that boy has the sunset trapped in his eyes, and causes my side to cramp with laughter
I never listen

Momma says I should’ve seen it coming
but I actually believed him when he kissed me and held my hand
I never listen

Momma says not to turn to drinking
but this alcohol is a life jacket, and holds me above the waves
I never listen

Momma says not to harm myself
but that blade helps me feel something other than empty
I never listen

Momma says she’s sorry this happened, and that she wished she could take the pain away
but no momma. you warned me

I’m sorry I never listened

— The End —