Tomorrow is bring your parents to school day Momma.
Dad says you can't come Momma.
Why Momma?
Why can't you come Momma?

Everyone is telling me they are sorry Momma.
Why are they saying they are sorry Momma?

Why haven't you come back since the party Momma?

You know,
the one where we had to dress in all black.

Why did we have to dress in all black Momma?

It's getting lonely Momma.
Why won't you come up Momma?
You have been sleeping for forever Momma.

Huh...
What a weird bed you chose for the party Momma.
Is it comfortable Momma?
Maybe I should try it someday,

what do you think Momma?

I miss you Momma.
Please wake up.

Momma?

We argue all day, my brain and I
These thoughts scream in my head
I want to die
“No you want to die”
Wait, who said that, get out
Get.
Out.
Why can’t I escape this prison
My mind traps me, tortures me
I need to make it out of here
But how do I escape my own mind?
“You’re worthless”
No, stop please. I know.
I.
Know.
I claw and scream, but only I can hear myself.
Why am I laughing?
“You deserve this”
No, no I don’t I want to leave. But maybe I deserve it…
I.
Do.
Maybe it’s best to be trapped in my brain
It keeps everyone safe right? I deserve it, right?
“Yes”
Okay I can’t stay, wait no what am I saying.
I’ll.
Stay.

I shut my eyes.
Will they open again?
I go to sleep.
Will I wake up again?
I stand in the shower.
Will the water be harmless again?
I drive home.
Will I arrive safely again?
I inhale.
Will I breath again?
I look into a fire.
Will my skin be unscathed again?
I look down the stairs.
Will I make it again?
I take my medication.
Will I be okay again?

In a distant corner
of my damaged heart
in a place
that I don't visit so often
I've kept your memories.
Each hug, each kiss that gave me life
yet left me gasping for breath
Each word that touched me more than your hands ever could.
I've kept everything
everything you never thought about twice but I could never forget.

Mom nudged me to the side.
We are a happy family,
But for some reason, we always have to hide.

I’m a rhinoceros so is my mom,
We roam the plains,
And eat the grass,
But when the men come we hide and pretend to be glass.

As mom nudged I resisted,
She stumbled,
I laughed.

Then I heard the sound,

It was the men,
They drove around,
And scouted our makeshift den.

They raised the stick,

Pointed it towards mom,
What fun they were finally playing,
I was completely calm

But mom wasn’t,
I didn’t understand,
They raised their hand,
And a loud noise sounded.

I looked towards Mom to see her,
But she was now surrounded.

They took her away,
And left me alone.

I’m still a rhinoceros,
But I now roam the plains on my own.