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Maxwell Clouse Mar 2020
Love is the feeling I get when I feel you near
Love is the feeling I get when I hear
your voice.
The voice that I imagine every night in my dreams
but can't seem
to get it right...
You used to hold me tight
Now I just might
I'm shy
When I'm telling you how I feel
But I can't deal
with the thought of losing you
It's been too long.
But it's wrong
for me
to intervene.
especially when it seems
I am not who you want
Love is the emptiness of my heart
when I am not with you.
I feel a spark
I'm sure you've felt it too.
I love you.
and this is true.
like my love for you.
I love her still to this day. Got my heart broken. But she got her way. I hope she's happy, every day.
Maxwell Clouse Jan 2020
I fear
I fear the uncertainty that I have for myself.
The uncertainty of what lies ahead.
Therefore I lie awake...
Hoping that I can stay in that moment forever.
  Sep 2019 Maxwell Clouse
Our board is too small,
Our moves are a mess.
We are pawns in a much more complicated game than chess.
Yet somehow, we mean even less.
It's like I'm obsessed with the idea of chess.
Maxwell Clouse Sep 2019
Close your eyes, see the blank space...

Smell the light scent of vanilla...

Hear the soft sound of the piano...

Taste the peppermint on the tip of your tongue...

Feel your muscles letting go...

.... Relax.
Just follow the directions. concentrate. Use your senses... and relax.
Maxwell Clouse Sep 2019
Where art thou positivity.
Where art thou love while my heart is enlivening.
Help me find the chambers,
as to where my heart is confined.
Help me
becasue the adrenaline is leaving my conscious behind.
Help me find the path.
For once I find this path,
My negativity will not counterveil.
Maxwell Clouse Sep 2019
I'm a mean person.
I'm selfsih.
I'm careless.
I'm depressed but blame it on my mom.
I let people know the truth about how others feel about them...
Even though I know it will hurt them.
I don't apologize for hurting their feelings.
I'm mean. I'm terrible.
But most of all... I'm me.
Rotten to the core, little ol me.
An unforgivable, hellbound soul.
I'm on a roll.
ding ding ding
You got it!
I'm worthless.
I'm the worst there is.
And everyone knows it.
But let me be.
Let me die alone.
Go to hell.
And be a lonely soul.
Because I'm rotten to the core.
And I won't grow.
Maxwell Clouse Sep 2019
I get this feeling...
This tingle throughout my body.
My mind soars.
I feel this constant vibration like i'm being shook in a box,
and the next thing I know, the bell rings.
It sings...
constantly in my ear...
My eyes sting.
Constantly threatening me with tears.
I get this feeling
in my head.
Like someone is talking to me.
If only you all can see...
that these walls are crashing on me.
I get this feeling...
that I am not me.
But I understand now.
My limbs are being pulled by strings.
And It's only when I feel pain, that I am in control.
Because I need to feel that pain...
to be alive.
I need to feel.
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