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Sep 2016
Momma when you said you loved her too much to see her fail right then she knew that you never saw past her mask.
Nobody did
She did too well of a job
The mask was fading, and it was cracking
She had to go before it fully broke off.
She had always dreamed of throwing it to the ground
and watching it shatter into a million pieces
and laughing
and crying
and holding hands with the people that she loved
She then realized the truth
That it will never happen
Cause Momma, your baby girl has killed herself
It may come as a shock or a cry or a stun but she did
When she was sixteen years old
On that day when her life was given to her
She ended it
She ended it because she was selfish
And she was a coward.
She stole the pills from the cabinet
and she had a glass of Dr. Pepper
and she was in her room
and she tried to think of reasons to not do it
to spit them out
to glue the pieces of her mask back into place
or maybe make a new one
but she couldn't
cause Momma, she was so tired
She was tired of herself
She hated herself
She tried to fight it for the longest time
She told the people who meant most to her
She tried
Oh, Momma, she tried really hard
But she couldn't do it.
She never proclaimed she had it
She never tried to parade around
She tried to make it seem like she was fine
She was dandy
She was happy
But Momma, she wasn't
She never was
She was tired of losing every battle with her thoughts
She was tired of succumbing to her poisoned mind
She was tired of pretending like everything was okay
Because Momma, she was selfish, and she was a brat
She wanted things her way
She wanted people to care about her
To make her their number one priority
To make them care about her feelings and her dreams and her tears and her smiles
She tried so hard
She was clingy
She was jealous
She was obsessive
She was stupid
She was sad
Momma, she was sad
Because through all this no one could see past the mask she had built
And no matter how much her true face was exposed
No one said anything
No one noticed
No one cared
So Momma
On the day that she was born
She took her own life
Because she was selfish
She said "don't worry, you'll be fine"
She said "you'll be okay without me
You'll live without me"
To her family she said
"Momma, you can have my earrings
Daddy, you can have my computer
Brother, you can have my books"
To her friends she said
"My best friend, share my secrets
My partner, share my love
My sisters, share my happiness
Because I won't be there to give any more
I've run dry
There is nothing left inside
I loved to those who needed it
But none was ever returned they way I gave it
These things went wrong too many times
Too many mistakes I've made
Not enough good ever came out of my actions
I might be good for you
But I'll never be good for myself"
Momma when you said you loved her too much to see her fail
right then she knew that you never saw past her mask.
The mask broke down
And she wept goodbye
Written by
Foliage
218
   Doug Potter
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