the sun was shining so bright that day, peeking through my windows. i felt the sunlight burned my fragile skin and my heart continued to beat. walls of insecurities and emptiness vanished when i saw his eyes in the morning sun. his smile was full of mildness and brought me into a sweet melody of tranquility. he touched my hand and i felt the sunflowers inside my lungs are dancing in the bloomy atmosphere.

the clock keeps ticking and i woke up and i realized that you are not next to me anymore. all those scenarios i made inside my colored mind never exist, and it was just a daydream away. you did not love me and you are gone, just softly leave. but your voice was still humming inside my soul and i pictured your laughter perfectly in my 2 am thoughts before i go to sleep.

those summer days are over, my dear. those rhythms and happy voices are booming in my everlasting memories. i felt so grateful to know you in my life, beautiful boy. thank you and goodbye.

he used to say he was speaking for an entire people
probably he meant that he understood the sheer veil of
not possessing the Owner yet cursing closed veins
and i can cut Narcissus' marron curls twice think about listing emotions regularly
unafraid some blood refuses to flow my way i feel deficient

behind the sheer-blue veils of eyes
and the water/the waves there is nothing more
than an unpoet
a piece of work
very much instead
a fool also
behind Narcissus is the unbending floor
i can see some gushing grey pieces of completely undusted power

his hands do not interfere with heated temperatures
when Narcissus touches my red-left-ear
without asking the rest of his body remaining same
steady
not even refreshing/refreshed anymore

he again and again clasps his shell hands around
my shoulders some sort of hug and i
freeze yet dissolve i am a watered down paradox
i do not know how to behave
i wish another Nemesis would clasp me that she
would put me into a bathtub my natural
habitat is water anyways
they are Rex and Regina and
i love how her hair remains darker, shorter
even after i cut his curls it does not matter what i do
they are powerful

meanwhile i am in the clouds all
blue all by myself i blurred my vision for
mountains of misunderstandings
those are my trophies i float and
scratch the tips of my fingers on all
the glowing god
awful drama i am a naked goddess the clouds
take me away
they shield me from lightning but not from darkness
i find myself fixated on the dark side of the moon for
scraps of paper it lulls for
individual letters it spits out
i wish i could stop being eighteen or nineteen or
twenty or twenty-two why do numbers come
for me algebra was never my forte i count
and count but my feelings never add up

and i finally feel grounded
into dirt Lupin closest to me our legs
line up without lights always
a little more wild
animal-like and
he kisses my back right where
i chose the moon to reside still it does not
phase me it does not change my desire
to dissect the muscles in his arms
leave the ones in his skull alone
doubt his feelings for me and my feelings for him and my feelings for me i lost my path and Lupin remains
third chasing me down dark chasms
consciously or pinned down we're always in bed
all of us pinned down by the heat by my pillows by the
lines on my neck
Lupin, i love it when you pin me down but you do not
keep me awake when
i've retreated into my bathtub

last blood moon made me bleed i am an
open wound still i am ******* holy/wholly
when you are conquered by me you will
scream for mercy

on middle grounds i shake the veils
around my waist that ground me minimally
i shake and shack them wishing to glue eyes next to
the garnets that garnish my see-
through dress i assess my desires again
i do not know about mildness i want
every star in the milky room every level in the crossed-out
game i want materials rough i want materially everyone on my list

you will never see through me even when
i open my chest there will be vaults of veils
Salome counted only seven but she was
a woman in the first century after men ****** up i
am intellectually miles ahead of her
i have sewn miles of veils together
a silky harness i shield myself with

my egotism is rising on a mountain of misunderstandings
in the milky room they all revolve around me my planets,
my moons crystal clear
my comets and you are dark energy Possessing me
everywhere yet persisting unveiled/unknown
not even your existence can be proven and i do not
ever want to see you/not see you
you are completely parallel to me

and i know my river sweetness is not over
me when he paints me i see his own
****** features through holes in my
face it pains me
how he still wishes we could
come together how he wouldn't
fall so far behind

you will never see through me
i twist the truth to be a diluted version of your thoughts which
i have read and despised i despise tongues and *****
still i dwell in wetness was this what i wanted to reach?
do i know? why do my eyes itch and i scratch until i bleed
never let it heal i want to be in pain

why do my eyes itch whenever i eat anything
itty bitty spicy risqué
why do i cry over four flights of stairs,
four flocks of friends,
four flights back home,
and the exit is wide wide open

You can feel...

...abandoned

abandonment

acceptance

adoration

affection

aggravated

aggravation

aggravating

agitated

aggressive

aggressiveness

alert

amazed

ambitious

amused

amusing

anger

angry

animosity

annoyed

anticipation

anxiousness

appreciative

ap­prehensive

ardent

aroused

ashamed

astonished

attraction (******)

attraction (intellectual)

attraction (spiritual)

attraction (general)

attraction (negative)

attraction  (taboo)

attraction (moral)

awed

betrayed

bewildered

bitter

bliss

blue

boastfu­l

bored

breathless

bubbly

calamitous

calm

camaraderie

caut­ious

cheerful

cocky

cold

collected

comfortable

compassionat­e

concerned

confident

confused

contempt

content

courageous
­
cowardly

crafty

cranky

crazy

cruelty

crummy

crushed

curio­us

cynic

dark

dejected

delighted

delirious

denial

detest

­depression

desire

despair

determined

devastated

disappointed

discouraged

dis­gust

disheartened

dismal

dispirited

distracted

distressed

*****

down

dreadful

dreary

eager

ecstatic

emb­arrassed

empathic

emptiness

enchanted

enigmatic

enlightened
­
enraged

enthralled

enthusiastic

envy

euphoric

excited

exha­usted

expectation

exuberance

fascinated

fear

flabbergasted

­fight-or-flight

foolish

frazzled

frustrated

fulfillment

furi­ous

gay

giddy

gleeful

gloomy

goofy

grateful

gratified

gre­edy

grief

grouchy

grudging

guilty

happy

hate

heartbroken

­homesick

hopeful

hopeless

horrified

hostile

humiliated

humored

hurt

hyper

hysterical

indignation

infatuation

infuriated

inner peace

innocent

insanity

insecure

insecure

inspired

interest

intimidated

invidious

irate

irritability

irritate­d

jaded

jealousy

joy

jubilant

kind

lazy

left out

liberated

lively

loathsome

lonely

longing

love

lovesic­k

loyal

lust

mad

mean

melancholic

mellow

mercy

merry

mil­dness

miserable

morbid

mourning

needed

needy

nervous

obsce­ne

obsessed

offended

optimistic

outraged

overwhelmed

pacifi­ed

pain

panicky

paranoia

passion

pathetic

peaceful

perturb­ation

pessimistic

petrified

pity

playful

pleased

pleasure

posses­sive

pride

provoked

proud

puzzled

rage

regretful

relief

r­emorse

resentment

resignation

resolved

sadness

satisfied

sc­ared

Schadenfreude

scorn

selfish

sensual

sensitive

****

sh­ame

sheepish

shocked

shy

sincerity

solemn

somber

sorrow

s­orry

spirited

stressed

strong

submissive

superior

surprised­

sweet

sympathetic

temperamental

tense

terrified

threatened­

thrilled

tired

tranquil

troubled

trust

tormented

uncertai­nty

uneasiness

unhappy

upset

vengeful

vicious

warm

weary

­worn-out

worried

worthless

wrathful

yearning

yawny

zesty

z­eel

on the villa's balcony, smell of Chanel on papillae
an old siamese cat lays, while a soaked diary takes her rest
for the fountain pen's ink had smell of faint success.

the sugar smell like snow
a spilled tea smelt of rose
diving into mildness and hollows

the odeur follows;

alas! a hail of thunders had came like swords,
it had smell of blood, of rust and warmth;
but the earth smells fancy, and my flowers are in love.

in light, and in truth,
the red white days, balmy as bright weather
will peter, in no such way.

Imagine a world with plenty of air
Which doesn't care less
That your lungs strive with pain.

Imagine a world filled with sunrise
Which doesn't care less
That your eyes cry senseless.

Imagine this kind of water
Which doesn't bring mildness
To your dry, dusted lips.

Imagine the world I imagine...
Sights painted with unknown,
Words in brackets tortured and thrown,
Twisted sounds in mirrorr unfolded,
Lies in black bags, stories untold
Thoughts like salted sands, fears unhold.

There are many the things I see
In the "too many things I can't see".
I imagine too much, too many at a time -
Then reality falls in a deep distress.
Imagine a world with air, water and sunrise
Or create our own universe
Which doesn't care less.

Like the melodies of rainfall,
you give me a serenity
Like the smell of spring green grass,
you fill my heart with smiles
Like a brush of pastel colors in canvas,
you give me a mildness around my wall
Like a rhythm of the blue waves,
you complete me with a tranquility

And in the winter days
you make me feel so warm
like a bonfire in a dark wood
lighten up and warming up at the same time
And you make my heart blooms
Like daisies in a white meadow
they are humming a melody
as you greet them with a bright smile

And I know you do not realize it
but when I see you, you remind me with the sun
But no,
you're not a sun who makes my eyes go blind,
you're a moonlight who lights me up
even in the darkest time
But the moon has so many flaws,
and I don't see one in your soul
so I think you're not a moonlight

Then I think again and again,
And I find it.
You may not be my sun,
or my fire,
or even my moonlight,
*But you are my world, and will always be my world.

Save me from this ailing sudate disdain
To pursue an oath to ordain,
Crimson dark stains yet uncertain.
Beneath a soul’s secret door to obtain
Pure pardon from this wretched torment and pain,
The sickening impudence…an implication!
Yet I try that Grace, Harmony and Love may win,
What am i…but a travailing mortal machine
Taking flight from this mundane plight to become even.
I plead that this conscious with mildness can reckon
In awe I cry out…
“Please don’t forsake me divine Logos”
In dilapidated pieces without price am torn
Helpless and lost behind the aisle,
Not more than an infantile person
Searching for a comfy path back home,
Sad but at times to admit the autism awoken.
In solitary at the center of crossroads
Were do I turn to run?
My heart so weak and slain without feign.
I have judged without concern
To satisfy an ego unknown,
On my stifles I now implore of the Passion
That she may patch-up for a peaceable Parturition.

To the town of Atienza, Molina's brave Alcayde,
The courteous and the valorous, led forth his bold brigade.
The Moor came back in triumph, he came without a wound,
With many a Christian standard, and Christian captive bound.
He passed the city portals, with swelling heart and vein,
And towards his lady's dwelling he rode with slackened rein;
Two circuits on his charger he took, and at the third,
From the door of her balcony Zelinda's voice was heard.
"Now if thou wert not shameless," said the lady to the Moor,
"Thou wouldst neither pass my dwelling, nor stop before my door.
Alas for poor Zelinda, and for her wayward mood,
That one in love with peace should have loved a man of blood!
Since not that thou wert noble I chose thee for my knight,
But that thy sword was dreaded in tournay and in fight.
Ah, thoughtless and unhappy! that I should fail to see
How ill the stubborn flint and the yielding wax agree.
Boast not thy love for me, while the shrieking of the fife
Can change thy mood of mildness to fury and to strife.
Say not my voice is magic--thy pleasure is to hear
The bursting of the carbine, and shivering of the spear.
Well, follow thou thy choice--to the battle-field away,
To thy triumphs and thy trophies, since I am less than they.
****** thy arm into thy buckler, gird on thy crooked brand,
And call upon thy trusty squire to bring thy spears in hand.
Lead forth thy band to skirmish, by mountain and by mead,
On thy dappled Moorish barb, or thy fleeter border steed.
Go, waste the Christian hamlets, and sweep away their flocks,
From Almazan's broad meadows to Siguenza's rocks.
Leave Zelinda altogether, whom thou leavest oft and long,
And in the life thou lovest forget whom thou dost wrong.
These eyes shall not recall thee, though they meet no more thine own,
Though they weep that thou art absent, and that I am all alone."
She ceased, and turning from him her flushed and angry cheek,
Shut the door of her balcony before the Moor could speak.

Sick of the lies and hopeless dreams of youth
I'd give it all to realize the one and only Truth
Sick of compromising with allowances of regret
I knew you before we ever met
Because, inside, I'm you, you're me
It's been so since before eternity
A bit of the one inside the other
One and the same, we are the lovers
Duality, polarity, dawn the crystal clarity
Find the balance between mildness and severity
Opposites attract, but dissonance detracts
Seek to realign and catch it in the act
Before the balance shifts and tilts the scale
The Sun shines bright, the Moon glows pale
Yet each has its place, outside as well as in...
There is no Darkness without Light, no Virtue without Sin.

You wouldn't believe me
even if I told the truth.
You wouldn't see a darkness
in my soul which you have
painted as light, as pure.

My role is that of an
innocent woman,
that of one with mild
tendencies,
that of one with
of stinging words,
and deliberate opinions.

No one ever sees
how dark I am.
They see the flux of
light that I have to offer.

They don't know the secrets
which I keep.
I'm too kind, I'm too simple,
I'm too sweet, but that's my
stellar performance on stage.
It's where I take my blossoming
breaths, where I indulge
myself in act one,
enabling myself a
break before act two
and before
the grand finale.

It never ends, for the
dramatic monologue
is of a continuous cycle of both
expectations and mildness that
I uphold.

Darkness. It's there.
You just don't see it.
No one sees it with
people like us.

The most innocent hide
the most complex secrets,
The most innocent hide
the darkest secrets, but
no one sees them until it's
too late.

The prophecies have an odd habit
To lurk inbetween scribblings  and  then mingle
the good wishes into a mashed goofy mind ala moi

God - how I wanted to meet you. You, the noble scholar
An oriental dreamer. Son of a man who made comics
Look nice. Now - I have anticipated a longing long
Lettre.

Or a notion you have read his words. Yet. It's not about realising; This wilderness.
The paper relief is not equal to a ravishing beauty..your wisdom, your passionate thunderstorms within your mind and a non dual complecancy to : your eternal gazes ...
I would be honoured to experience this wondrous mildness
Your arms holding me tight and loosely addictive.

Oh - to melt within your yang.

Yin

There are those possessing the kind of beauty with which you cannot be born.
It is not pined after, bought, taught, or painted on...
but the rough around the edges kind of worn.
For to become it one must know strife and sadness, fear and yet still uninhabited wildness..
To be melted, corroded, and then shaped again by the earth where she lay-
like clay but out of the dirt-
It is never made and left to be with an air of mildness.
Like a broken vase, whose shards become a mosaic held back together with gold,
It's the honesty in fragility, the new-found strength and even glimmer in all of her cracks.
The warrior who tattoos every scar into vines symbolizing the growth
forever enfolding her soul.
You earn that kind of beauty when you realize-
you can not be empty and are too much of everything to be a fraction of anything
so there is only to be whole.

That is raw.
That is real.
That is really beautiful.





-This one is for my Mom.
The strongest one I know.-

The other side of the previous sonnet.



(sonnet #MMMLXXXIX)


Mists softly romance clumps of distant trees,
Their naked dark grey limbs clothed in that veil
Of hazy white 'neath tender blue skies' pale
Cheer, while the golden light warms by degrees
December's barren vistas, winds a tease
Whose mildness gently breathes a hope too frail
To live beyond the sunset, each detail
From green lawns' worn expanse to heavn, at ease.
I used to lose myself here, every sigh
A fond caress I revelled in...'til you
Taught me to see past all which sweetly vie
For notice, vaprous dreams no longer true
As I rest me in who'd more satisfy
Than these, lost in your love and happier too.

01Dec13b

Sometimes in summer
when roots find no water
leaves wither, fade, and fall,
but with the rain
new buds, new leaves appear.

Sometimes after a forest fire
fresh green will push out of charred wood,
the ash of the old leaves
fertilising the new.

Sometimes in the thick of winter,
sudden mildness may stir the sap.
Precocious leaves may not resist frost's return,
but another spring will come.

Sometimes there is no hope
until spring comes.
Sometimes there is hope
despite everything.
Sometimes spring comes
more than once.

Master Of
Baroque
Penniless
Architecture
The stones of walls
Compliment the gems
Of darling
Buds
That looks like curves
Of orchestrated opaque
Translucent Textures
Marble is beautiful
Even in it's
Clearness
But the
Human
Loves
Marbles mildly
Wet amidst cells of
Cream colored columns

All throughout the wilderness
Are hiding, playing deer
Emanating mildness
Wherever they appear
Radiating tenderness
Whenever they are near
Eyes shining with happiness
When they frolic with their dear

You could call it as hopeless
But look around, you could see
Brightness in behaft of mildness

You are beautiful as a stars at night
Your wonderful like the full moon you see
Even i could tell your deserving to be glory

Now tell me if there's still
Demon around you
Im here to be your Guardian Angel
I'll be your shield until my last breath.

(Mansuetude: mildness, gentleness)

Moon and Sun

are reflections

of the quiet

calm inducing

light

that breathes

in the lungs of

his eyes

immeasurable

beauty

Like staring

into dragon fire

I lose myself

inside

everytime

they meet mine

our souls

a ball of twine

©achosenword

Lacerate
Her pillow covering all of my face
Suffocation.
Her tears suffocating me.
They won’t let me breathe.
Her pillow covering all of my face.
The more she tries to pull me out the more I sink into a worse place.
How everything started to get so morose in some robust planet in space.
Where I always took my time to enjoy my one and only grace.
Her pillow covering all of my face.
So I can inhale all her tears from last night’s race.
So I can enjoy the silence of our heartbeats.
Pace.
Will it get better by any chance?
Or any change?
Will we be able to embrace?
To watch her shutting down my full-of-blood face in one glance.
The sacred geometry of chance.
To watch her draw in silver then lick her sorrow as it turns red.
When my veins eventually got the chance to meet their soul mates.
When I got the chance to finally appreciate.
Appreciate the ray that is running towards me screaming love when we both know it’s full of hate.
Never thought she’d be hiding from me the key to my fancy world’s gate.
Her pillow covering all of my face.
Inhaling her tears.
But I always enjoyed shutting her mouth while listening to her innocent screams.
Then with one glance she was able to read my mind.
She knew it.
Knew well.
That If I died today.

Lots of aliens would be at my funeral.
And she’d tell them about the joyful memories she shared with me.
You know what *****?
Read it all over again.
Read it all over again with some serenity.
Read it with some dignity.
Sweaty rusty bed sheets covering her chopped body.
Fifty stitches all over her skin.
But her wide bright eyes will fix the whole picture and make it full of mildness and flaccidity.
Tranquility.
Then her screams again teasing my ears and starting up the electricity.
Running through my veins getting me thirsty craving for more intensity.
And if I could.
I’d replace my ink with her blood.
Because I needed my papers to bloom.
Turn it into a meadow on the shape of her eyes.
All of a sudden.
Woke up with nothing to look at other than the bathroom tiles.
Nausea, revulsion, disgust and repugnance.
With nothing to shorten the distance.
Until my eyes started screaming for more of my addictive substance.
One shot.
Got me into watching a huge fight between romance and brilliance.
Smudge my face with her blood and tears.
While all what were flashing before my eyes are the past four years.
Cutting my head open to enjoy the brainwash until something got me to calm down and bear.
A cup of our old cold drink.
Pouring it inside her lungs to drink it happily.
Then after I was done she smiled then spoke through my mind.

That gave me a new brain and a new key that I should’ve tried.
Went fine until I found the huge gate with no lock in it.
The bus stop that I wouldn’t want to leave.
Cause my tears won’t.
How will I do such a thing when I can get it all in one night even if I could hold it in for two months?
I’d blast myself to keep my veins full of that drug.
To keep my life full of that love.
To save me from her devil.
A construction of a maniac if you would have looked at it from a different aspect.
A sick puppy stabbed in the face with a flower.
A sign of loneliness strikes again.
But I forgot my shoes at the mountain while rethinking my future.
Dreams versus nightmares.
And the winner was her.
Orange and grey is all I can remember.
A beautiful abounded house.
I’d lick her fear within a second.
Eat her up then ***** all of my internal organs to build a wonderful cycle of admired calmness.
Black dress.
Warm cheeks.
Feeding the sad freak.
Hiding in the very first place that people will find love at.
Angel.
Everlasting one.
Holder.
Power.
The arbitrator behind all my happiness.
Dances for a while and then disappears again.
Light and awareness.

She’s the aliveness and energy controlling every apparent motion inside me and all motion in my mind’s motion and all mind is her mind.
And all my thoughts and actions are licensed by her.
Empowered out of me and returned to her.
She’s the correct consciousness of my mind.
Everything I see.
Hear.
Do or know is enabled out of me.
It is my mind and my being in use.
To end up falling from the furthest planet into the lowest ground.
To end up where I can never be found.
With her pillow covering all of my face.

I always did fantasize about our diverse earth;
Its freezing stones in the fridges of the Arctic and Antarctic landscapes.
The idyllic playgrounds on the quiet sands of the Mediterranean Sea banks,
The amazing sun baked plains of the smoothened Sahara brown,
The tropical Haven of humid air, where the golden sun awakes in a fair and bright morning, and sets at even with its magnificent crimson smile.
What a cozy feeling can its temperate climes bring; with its sheer abundance of Clement weather.
A paradise indeed of ambient mildness.
I long for the warm gardens of Eden’s residues, with their ebullient and lush tropical green.
How pleasant it would be to cascade down the many waterfalls in an imaginary and wonderland fashion.
To go atop the zenith of each mountainous heaven from which pinnacle point you have the panoramic view of your own vanquished plains.
I once disappeared into the wind, in a midsummer night’s dream to see my global fantasies come true.
And like a boisterous eagle,
I glided high to the heavens for this global and utterly delightful bird’s eye view.

She fell into a happy medium between feeling and not where she could experience emotions without being whisked away by them into a dimention with no doors or windows.
Content with the mildness of an average day.
Very nearly satisfied.

She mirrored the images that were projected onto the screen in front of her.
Her waxy smile smearing as the heat pressed down on her.
Her drug of choice was love and she always paid the price.

The seduction of our Salivary  glands began with masses of often overlapping flavors
  Tingling  leap start ,wide eyed but also an abrupt whoa,terrible to terrific
Oblivious ,willing to try ,why not ,blending in the beginning  learning tastes as translators
Breathing in and licking the lips ,wiggling and giggling ,is it? is it? OH the dog.

   Sensory sensations occurring regardless of our inhibitions or wants or needs ,occurring around ,mild or profound
   Youthfully gullible , playing a new game ,scents & smells starting to form deeper wells
  Blush with a rush ,warming into oranges the pinks more profound when arising into the reds ,leaping circling around
Begging for release from the beginning ,but unknown excitement rising edges ,wider wedges ,calmer pastels

Flexing ,fluctuating far out feelings ,far flung excitement all gathered into one instant nervous burst
Staying back,trying to adjust ,mildness is objected to when the rest of the time is only described with bright adjectives
Then we laugh because we have it hidden ,but never quite knowing the blur still an unknown abyss,but always first
Open minded children begin the journey into finding nameless noises,shadowy flavors or tastes moving,directing like detectives


   Burning RED, drops of BLUE, Icy WHITE, now fixed in the mind ,time lost in odors ,blinking color palates poised
  Wanton wisps centered onto extreme extracts ,visualized often sensationalized into auditory overload
Simple as it has begun ,left with nowhere to run, taking it in stride it can never be put aside ,permanence never destroyed
Excreted excitement now being assessed is a far flung idea ,unless you live it, Raising and rising into an endless plateau .R.C.

When is "The One" the one?
When do hearts collide?
For one is beautiful...
Another is wise...

One possesses strength
Another kindness
Some virtue
Others mildness

The One I wait for
Is one indeed
And has all the qualities
Of the one I will need

But until she comes
This I must tell
All these I see
"Yet I am well"