I don't go back because I want to relive it,
I go back because I want to pollute, dilute, and make minute the memory of us in this place.
I said I would always be there for you,
but at some point
I stopped sleeping with my phone on ring
i remember what it felt like,
but i can't feel it
i remember what it tasted like,
but i can't taste it
i remember what it smelled like,
but i can't smell it
i remember what it looked like,
but i can't see it
i remember what it sounded like,
but i can't hear it

i remember Love,
but i can't
Have you every tried to say "goodbye"?
I mean painfully and strenuously try...
It truly is easy to say
With this I do not lie

"Goodbye, for a while" is what we mean
"See you later" or "some other time"
"Ta ta for now" and "until we meet again"
But plans can change on a dime

A "bye" between those who know it's the end
A "bye" said with head turned 'round
A "bye" between friends with hope but knowledge
Good friends are a hard thing found

This is "goodbye". The time has come
I find it hard to say without tears
And though our paths are split from here
I will never forget these years...
Goodbye, you'll never know how hard this is for me.
I am one of the 99 left behind
Waiting for the Sheppard to return
Trapped by the walls of this fence
The posts and wooden planks
That contain us
Being lead by the very sheep that are
We walk in cricles around the pen
Around and around... circles
Eating up the food we have
We begin to eat each other
And as confusing as that is
It's true
Biting and nawing
Bleeding and bruising
We turn to other sheep for nourishment
For truth... for guidance
But we are sheep the same
Another one of the 99 left behind
Sheep is what we are
Be careful not to tater your fur
Careful not to tear or cut
To show the underneath
The skin that doesn't flater but
Burns with the red of your hate
Your pride... Your sin

When will the Sheppard return
And open the fence
Lead to new grass and water

Black sheep?
When have you seen black sheep?
Yes sheep with spots but these sheep
They are black from head to toe
Their snouts are long and they have sharp teeth
Strange that they have not hooves but paws
They are mending the fence
The fence! It's broken!
Suddenly we realize we are not safe
Quickly, grab your hammer and nails!
Let us work with these black sheep...
to mend... the fence... around... us

Who built this fence?
Was it the Sheppard?
Distant as my memories be
of the man with the scars
This does not resemble his work
Who built these walls?
These bars... This cell
With no key and a steeple?
Oh God, who built these walls?
No it wasn't the sheppard.
The walls he built had doors
And windows to let the light in
No... I have built these walls
The 99 left behind were not left...
We left.

We left the fence! The pasture! The place of stafty and love.

We are not the 99 left behind but the one
We are the one who wandered and strayed
And seeing that we were in territory unsafe
We built walls without doors
that trapped us inside... in darkness

Sheppard,
Search
Find us
Break down
These walls
Rebuild them
With windows
To let the Light in
A(r)mor I wear
With drawstrings that dangle
Another layer to cover
A beating heart

Pulling sleeves
Covering wrists
Vulnerable but protected
Blood flowing, life

I see her, fair
Beauty and depth
Yet a frail and fragile heart
Not armed, not guarded

Like a piece of art
"Please be careful...
Sensitive to touch...
Handle with care"

She will wear my a(r)mor
And cover her wrists
Hood pulled over
Guarding from killing whispers

She will wear my a(r)mor
I will be without
Naked, defenseless, exposed
But she will have a(r)mor

My Armor, My Amor
When is "The One" the one?
When do hearts collide?
For one is beautiful...
Another is wise...

One possesses strength
Another kindness
Some virtue
Others mildness

The One I wait for
Is one indeed
And has all the qualities
Of the one I will need

But until she comes
This I must tell
All these I see
"Yet I am well"
Inspired by Benedick in Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing
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