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"evangeline" poems
Oh my Cassiopeia My queen; queen of Aethiopeia Yours is an unrivaled beauty No one can complain about your vanity You love me I love you more Cepheus your king, how I wish I would be To be with you forever and sit beside your throne No, I'm not Cepheus; he probably is yet to come I wish I'm your Cepheus, but I'm not even an Adam But I can be your Cepheus if you let me, yes I can Though I can't see your constellation from where I am You can boss me around Toss and turn me upside down You can throw tantrums, those I won't mind Forget being king, I'll be fine as your servant You're a constellation, still I'll make a wish Can I wish forever? No? Then let me love you at least Let our love blossom, 'til my last breath vanish Maybe I'll also become a constellation next to you, like what happened to Ray and Evangeline
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Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 2:53 AM UTC
Wish upon a Constellation
Arthur McKnight was a powerful man and New York was his playground.  Not that he ventured out anymore at night now that he had met Evangeline.  The long days of mind-numbing numbers he crunched managing Wall Street hedge funds had taken their toll on him over the years, but becoming intimate with Evangeline had saved him, had changed him in ways so fundamental that for him she was all that mattered.      Arthur no longer noticed these subtle differences.  He daydreamed by the dim LCD light of stock tickers, craving the touch that only his woman could bestow upon him.  He had surrendered completely to her bliss.      These days when he woke to her already gone from his Upper West Side apartment all that was left of her presence was a lipstick kiss on the mirror and a bottle of Sally Hansen Tangerine Orange nailpolish.  The quiet was deafening, but that bottle of Sally Hansen left on the bathroom counter held the promise of Evangeline's return.      It was just after 7 p.m. when Arthur made it home and he could already sense her.  She was coming.  He strode with purpose to his master suite, spying the black thigh-highs and silky red dress he had laid out for her arrival.  The waiting was unbearable, and Arthur finally broke, needing Evangeline so badly he could smell her perfume, could taste her in his throat.  It was time; no more waiting.      "You look lovely tonight, Evangeline," Arthur croaked aloud as he pulled the first of the thigh highs onto his shaven legs...
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Jan 8, 2014
Jan 8, 2014 at 11:08 PM UTC
Arthur and Evangeline
Arthur McKnight was a powerful man and New York was his playground.  Not that he ventured out anymore at night now that he had met Evangeline.  The long days of mind-numbing numbers he crunched managing Wall Street hedge funds had taken their toll on him over the years, but becoming intimate with Evangeline had saved him, had changed him in ways so fundamental that for him she was all that mattered.      Arthur no longer noticed these subtle differences.  He daydreamed by the dim LCD light of stock tickers, craving the touch that only his woman could bestow upon him.  He had surrendered completely to her bliss.      These days when he woke to her already gone from his Upper West Side apartment all that was left of her presence was a lipstick kiss on the mirror and a bottle of Sally Hansen Tangerine Orange nailpolish.  The quiet was deafening, but that bottle of Sally Hansen left on the bathroom counter held the promise of Evangeline's return.      It was just after 7 p.m. when Arthur made it home and he could already sense her.  She was coming.  He strode with purpose to his master suite, spying the black thigh-highs and silky red dress he had laid out for her arrival.  The waiting was unbearable, and Arthur finally broke, needing Evangeline so badly he could smell her perfume, could taste her in his throat.  It was time; no more waiting.      "You look lovely tonight, Evangeline," Arthur croaked aloud as he pulled the first of the thigh highs onto his shaven legs...
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5
(Dedicated to my mother, Juna Marie Nagley- happy mother's day momma!!!) O' Màthair, Màthair, from whence I birthed. Best friend, mine Angel, mine guide; Disguised As a lady at birth; it's from thine womb from Whence I arrived, this is a thanking thee, to A flawless seraph, mine Màthair, mine Màthair- To thee; whom do I compareth? Anglamotharia, thou hath always met mine need's, When mine knee was scraped, and when I got sick; Thou wouldst alway's protecteth me. Eyne blue as The sea's, hair blonde as the street's thou hath stemmed from, Anglamotharia-Jehovah's chosen One, mine host of host's, guardian from the ghost's Who always tried to hurt thy own son. Anglamotharia, from whence I am from- Latha màthair math; angelic one. (Second part is a mothers day dedication to my mother in law Evangeline sardua- Earl Jane sardua my Queens mother....) Adlaw Malipayon inahan, dearest mother-in-law, the Apple to Jane's vision, hardworking, gentle-calm. I thankest thee for showing Jane the right way's; the way's of God, the way's of love, O' heaven knoweth thy name. Adlaw Malipayon inahan, woman who knoweth none time, for thine family is thy priority; thou cookest and cleanest, thy labor hath heavied over time, mayest the Lord bless thee and keep thee, and the Lord make His face shine upon thee. And be gracious to thee. The Lord lift up His countenance upon thee, And give thee peace. Mayest thine abode be a blessing from Mount malindang-west unto East. Mayest Yeshua guideth thy feet to where dangerous travels cometh and goeth. Mayest the word of God always from thy mouth appear and floweth. Mayest this mother's day, be a remembrance to thee, Evangeline; thy love hath not been forgotten, this is mine gift and thanking to thee. ©Brandon Nagley ©Lonesome poets poetry ©mothers day dedication to two special mother's ( Evangeline Sardua, janes mother, and dedication to my mother juna Marie Nagley, ) happy mother's day to both of you and may God shine his face upon you!!! With love Brandon!!
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May 8, 2016
May 8, 2016 at 1:51 PM UTC
Latha màthair math Juna marie nagley, Maligayang Araw ng mga Ina to Evangeline Sardua( Mother's day poem for my mother , second part is dedicated to my queen earl jane nagleys mother ......
(Dedicated to my mother, Juna Marie Nagley- happy mother's day momma!!!) O' Màthair, Màthair, from whence I birthed. Best friend, mine Angel, mine guide; Disguised As a lady at birth; it's from thine womb from Whence I arrived, this is a thanking thee, to A flawless seraph, mine Màthair, mine Màthair- To thee; whom do I compareth? Anglamotharia, thou hath always met mine need's, When mine knee was scraped, and when I got sick; Thou wouldst alway's protecteth me. Eyne blue as The sea's, hair blonde as the street's thou hath stemmed from, Anglamotharia-Jehovah's chosen One, mine host of host's, guardian from the ghost's Who always tried to hurt thy own son. Anglamotharia, from whence I am from- Latha màthair math; angelic one. (Second part is a mothers day dedication to my mother in law Evangeline sardua- Earl Jane sardua my Queens mother....) Adlaw Malipayon inahan, dearest mother-in-law, the Apple to Jane's vision, hardworking, gentle-calm. I thankest thee for showing Jane the right way's; the way's of God, the way's of love, O' heaven knoweth thy name. Adlaw Malipayon inahan, woman who knoweth none time, for thine family is thy priority; thou cookest and cleanest, thy labor hath heavied over time, mayest the Lord bless thee and keep thee, and the Lord make His face shine upon thee. And be gracious to thee. The Lord lift up His countenance upon thee, And give thee peace. Mayest thine abode be a blessing from Mount malindang-west unto East. Mayest Yeshua guideth thy feet to where dangerous travels cometh and goeth. Mayest the word of God always from thy mouth appear and floweth. Mayest this mother's day, be a remembrance to thee, Evangeline; thy love hath not been forgotten, this is mine gift and thanking to thee. ©Brandon Nagley ©Lonesome poets poetry ©mothers day dedication to two special mother's ( Evangeline Sardua, janes mother, and dedication to my mother juna Marie Nagley, ) happy mother's day to both of you and may God shine his face upon you!!! With love Brandon!!
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In looking for that someone To make my life just right, Hope it won't be like Evangeline Who will past me in the night, One that will be just right for me In size, weight, and height, I've looked far and waited long Could they have passed me in the night?
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1.9k
Remembering Evangeline
Evangeline (is that what you want me to call you?), While I hope you don't have to use it, attached is my edit of your suicide note. I just tweaked the grammar on a couple sentences and uncapitalized a random "E." Might consider being more specific. It's hard to tell who is to blame, if you're looking to blame someone. The verbs are very passive. Makes your end seem like a commercial break. Just a suggestion. Love or a near synonym, Josh
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Mar 29, 2013
Mar 29, 2013 at 4:25 PM UTC
re: suicide note edit
To a cat in a cul-de-sac, she's a stone rose, malaise with no remorse and a penchant for suicidal grammar. Backsassing and backroom massaging her way from Tanner, Illinois to Irving, Texas -- her interstate veins and her data plan brain catered to the orifices of the weary, and soothed the spidertongued and sleepy. In the last postcard, she signed Evangeline, the number of name changes: 23 in the Sunflower State alone. A dive bar in Ulysses, Kansas beamed as a brilliant model of "Starved wives and stray dogs," Evangeline explained. *"I found the dark side of beet farmers and the redemption in callused hands."* A letter came from Pryor, Oklahoma: "Recognize the perfume?" The only line. Printer paper close, inhale -- my mind drifts to my former high cheekbone'd bride, Skye. Evangeline bedded her spindly body. Spite, spite, spite. Confused, I answered her call on the first morning of December. Tent living with a retired acrobat on the growing shoreline of Lake Texoma, she downed a mixed bag of his sleeping meds, and sleeping by his side, she fantasized about me. *"I think you drank too much in my dreams. I woke up dissatisfied."* Once she arrived in Irving, I mailed her my edit of her suicide note. A call to say it looked good, and she'd let me know if she ever had to use it. I never heard from her again.
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Jul 8, 2012
Jul 8, 2012 at 12:32 AM UTC
One for Evangeline
In a world of uncertainty here lies a prayer. An earnest one at night with her hands clasped together before her lips, a wishful thinking by day; a talk to evangeline, a whisper to the gust. You are my dandelion, You are every petal of it.
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May 18, 2018
May 18, 2018 at 1:58 PM UTC
Dandelion
(Morning Poetry with Lola) Wednesday started with a cold, cold morning. i wrapped myself with a thick blanket, hid my "popsicle toes,".....seeking warmth from recollections that played in my mind like pleasant, joyful summer, music. when my kids were toddlers, i started them off with, "all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small..." but, as they grew a little older, my mother, she woke them up each morning with, "o captain, my captain, our fearful trip is done..." and then, tomorrow, we would hear, " i shot an arrow into the air it fell to earth...i knew not where," the next morning, my mother's feature could be, "of course, i love my country, the land in which i live," some days we would hear reruns....but, the week would never be complete, without her most favored one....which, she delivered with a valiant voice, while pounding her chest: "...i am  the  master  of  my  fate;   i am  the  captain  of  my  soul!" my kids rubbed-open their eyes in awe, as they listened to their lola..'til they were done with their morning rituals. their lola kept a copy of longfellow's evangeline but she didn't live long enough to share it with her five great-granddaughters. God knows...my late mother knows, i did my part, to open the eyes...and minds of these girls, to waken THAT awareness in them, that would make them see, and feel...the beauty of poetry. not everyone realizes the importance, the necessity.....of poetry, that life itself...........is poetry, that, when you're a poet, and when you're deep into it, ........you cannot just let go for, it clings to your heart and soul, it is like, your second skin ................... it's a hard habit to break. .................. ............ the older girls read poetry...and mythology, as well, a mix of classic and contemporary, ......but they and i, have added thoreau, dylan thomas, teasedale, and many more names to their lola's most favored longfellow, henney, and whitman. ................. ....... Sally Copyright December 7, 2017 rrab
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Dec 14, 2017
Dec 14, 2017 at 9:37 AM UTC
Morning Rituals
(Morning Poetry with Lola) Wednesday started with a cold, cold morning. i wrapped myself with a thick blanket, hid my "popsicle toes,".....seeking warmth from recollections that played in my mind like pleasant, joyful summer, music. when my kids were toddlers, i started them off with, "all things bright and beautiful, all creatures great and small..." but, as they grew a little older, my mother, she woke them up each morning with, "o captain, my captain, our fearful trip is done..." and then, tomorrow, we would hear, " i shot an arrow into the air it fell to earth...i knew not where," the next morning, my mother's feature could be, "of course, i love my country, the land in which i live," some days we would hear reruns....but, the week would never be complete, without her most favored one....which, she delivered with a valiant voice, while pounding her chest: "...i am  the  master  of  my  fate;   i am  the  captain  of  my  soul!" my kids rubbed-open their eyes in awe, as they listened to their lola..'til they were done with their morning rituals. their lola kept a copy of longfellow's evangeline but she didn't live long enough to share it with her five great-granddaughters. God knows...my late mother knows, i did my part, to open the eyes...and minds of these girls, to waken THAT awareness in them, that would make them see, and feel...the beauty of poetry. not everyone realizes the importance, the necessity.....of poetry, that life itself...........is poetry, that, when you're a poet, and when you're deep into it, ........you cannot just let go for, it clings to your heart and soul, it is like, your second skin ................... it's a hard habit to break. .................. ............ the older girls read poetry...and mythology, as well, a mix of classic and contemporary, ......but they and i, have added thoreau, dylan thomas, teasedale, and many more names to their lola's most favored longfellow, henney, and whitman. ................. ....... Sally Copyright December 7, 2017 rrab
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Evangeline, on the soulless night of February, I continue growing my broken wings. I remain sentimental, wasting my tears away. When I look at you, all I sense is the growing impatience that I will never be able to sit with you. Even if I bloom with these wings and my graceful tears, I don't believe you will hear my silent pleas and whimsical, hopeful yearnings. I am a tree with seeds of sadness buried deep in the earth. A rotting fruit of desires. I could never be as majestic as you, chère Evangeline. I am eloquently silent, with my lips tightly shut; I am a crumbling mountain, and madness slowly decapitates my light—but make it poetical. Make my sadness profoundly graceful. Make my body arch like the slipper orchids. Make me a beautiful yet distant star, Evangeline.
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Feb 21, 2025
Feb 21, 2025 at 2:39 AM UTC
Graceful Tears
They said that she had fairy skin 
And cinnamon dusted hair,
 A sleepy countenance, a ragged demeanour;
 They said “she’s never quite..there." Her fingers, when I saw her Were tangled into a wreath. 
Their fragile veins seemed about to snap
 But she sat so calmly in her seat. What a waste of a fine young lady, I say,
 As she muses at the sky; 
An excess of poetic form
 Has made her mad and shy. And yet I harbour a fascination 
For one so truly lost,
 Who cannot tell real from dreams, 
Who nightmares do accost. And oh, what a beautiful sight 
To see one stay so naive.
 At least, I say, I’m not the kind 
To pin my heart up on my sleeve. And once again the monotony 
Of another day rushes past,
 And the sea inside ****** the back of my eyes, I see 
An exquisite pointillism of stars. Maybe she’s the one with the luck of the Irish,
 And I’m just a manifestation of routine.
 She’s awake and full of fireworks,
 And I’m just half asleep.
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Jul 8, 2013
Jul 8, 2013 at 4:43 AM UTC
Evangeline
**** You, Evangeline I hated you in the seventh grade When you were pushed on me at school And broke my rib, As I badmouthed you on the monkeyswings. But quickly I learned Not from mom or sister That to be a man is different than Hollywood and Disneyland Nothing Loves, Actually; Forever calls— Very quickly It seems That I go from adorable to expendable Serendipitously, With a bit of mandated mail And affairs with Eros’ bureaus of State Back then I played with chitinous bugs Baiting them fluffy placentas of budding trees And stalked them back to their cave Before I knew my felonies But I was a baby, A child—I never could have known what it means. But of course I do, I’ve seen the running of the bulls The utterance of men They are angry and gouge ******* with cold vicegrips around their ****** And are kicked Mercilessly Spurned to wrathful affectation To be murdered in the evening With rapturous spectation “But they are bulls!” Of course they are "These feelings are only natural!" No man can equate With the pleasurable temptations of the state Not bird or bug or steer or doe The only Hierarchy permissible Is of the animals And of that we hate I don’t see you woeing About that steak on your plate. Or the Glue in the soles of your shoes. Stroll a bit Sniff the trees Whiff the ******** When it’s in the feed He runs in circles shouting, chanting “Oye, Oye, Aye Piche Cabrone!” As the solo mothers cut his lengua for the starving Ninos In an apartment complex off Oxenhoof Lane Where Papi got iced By I.C.E or the like And the kiddies will never know what it means. You’ll never know what it means To be a bull Muster your might for this—demand with laughter you die I am an ant in the ever-washed hive Of sterile kin who have no lives They give for their queen or infectious despot with wings Despite all the kindness they've given me, I am not ready to be meat for the feet. In every blade of grass I've faith That no bird or sin will ****** me from my place And into the sky or the unsatiated mouth of the various Disunified highs For now I share the toil and vitriolic Callous Jowls of those who hate themselves More than me And try to smile and bring food for the queen But deep inside I am an ant And that is all you will ever see.
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Apr 8, 2019
Apr 8, 2019 at 1:46 PM UTC
Man, Unmade
**** You, Evangeline I hated you in the seventh grade When you were pushed on me at school And broke my rib, As I badmouthed you on the monkeyswings. But quickly I learned Not from mom or sister That to be a man is different than Hollywood and Disneyland Nothing Loves, Actually; Forever calls— Very quickly It seems That I go from adorable to expendable Serendipitously, With a bit of mandated mail And affairs with Eros’ bureaus of State Back then I played with chitinous bugs Baiting them fluffy placentas of budding trees And stalked them back to their cave Before I knew my felonies But I was a baby, A child—I never could have known what it means. But of course I do, I’ve seen the running of the bulls The utterance of men They are angry and gouge ******* with cold vicegrips around their ****** And are kicked Mercilessly Spurned to wrathful affectation To be murdered in the evening With rapturous spectation “But they are bulls!” Of course they are "These feelings are only natural!" No man can equate With the pleasurable temptations of the state Not bird or bug or steer or doe The only Hierarchy permissible Is of the animals And of that we hate I don’t see you woeing About that steak on your plate. Or the Glue in the soles of your shoes. Stroll a bit Sniff the trees Whiff the ******** When it’s in the feed He runs in circles shouting, chanting “Oye, Oye, Aye Piche Cabrone!” As the solo mothers cut his lengua for the starving Ninos In an apartment complex off Oxenhoof Lane Where Papi got iced By I.C.E or the like And the kiddies will never know what it means. You’ll never know what it means To be a bull Muster your might for this—demand with laughter you die I am an ant in the ever-washed hive Of sterile kin who have no lives They give for their queen or infectious despot with wings Despite all the kindness they've given me, I am not ready to be meat for the feet. In every blade of grass I've faith That no bird or sin will ****** me from my place And into the sky or the unsatiated mouth of the various Disunified highs For now I share the toil and vitriolic Callous Jowls of those who hate themselves More than me And try to smile and bring food for the queen But deep inside I am an ant And that is all you will ever see.
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“This is the forest primeval; but where are the hearts that beneath it Leaped like the roe….?” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, Evangeline Among the murmuring pines and the hemlocks, We stay in a log cabin built by men displaced by the Great Depression; Who would have said that it was not great at all. Losing their pride, then earning it back again. Here we stay, Provided a place by those men of the New Deal Those builders who poured out their labor, their time, Their thoughts, their words among themselves; And they, I think, must stay here, too.
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Mar 9, 2017
Mar 9, 2017 at 10:21 PM UTC
Itasca State Park
I’m reading a book of poetry it's nine hundred pages long, penned by a man of many dreams whose words are historical songs. I remember reading those words when we studied him back in school, the class was "American Lit" masters of the "poets pool". Henry Wadsworth Longfellow whose work has endured the years, ole "Wordy Wadsworth” he was named by the men who were his peers. His writings contain many musings spanning the centuries of time, my favorite story of all a narrative poem, "Evangeline". This particular poem, a masterpiece blending talent, knowledge, and heart, containing pathos, love, and history t’was recounting the “Cajun” start. Numerous stories he's told using plenty more words, or few, tales wringing either hard, or soft embellished with wondrous hues. Spellbound, in awe of his words I'm carried away on the wings, of thoughts, dreams and fantasies to where his poetic muse springs. ~
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Dec 8, 2017
Dec 8, 2017 at 11:10 PM UTC
Poet of Past
When my birth canal becomes important, I want to create nature. Unforgotten nature. Her name will be of the moon or of the heavens – my Luna, my Evangeline, I even thought of giving her my stuffed pet’s title, my childhood best friend. She was a cat with a bell around her neck but I cut that off, I already knew of lone ******* When more threads between my legs are loosened, as I only would slit for beard or baby, it is not a wound but nature unforgotten, fresh fruit. I want to have a daughter who someone will **** the morning breath out of and remember that her freckles are midnight stars, that he or she has a piece of heaven within them. Oxygen and eggs – my daughter, a woman in the twelfth grade.
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Jun 9, 2013
Jun 9, 2013 at 6:16 PM UTC
fresh fruit
i had a dream you were just holding my hand because you didn't want to taste my cigarette breath and we were out on the porch swing i couldn't squeeze your fingers tight enough your head rested on my shoulder and we sang in our hearts to evangeline it was six minutes we went silent in the warm darkness there weren't stars or any form of light but your breathing was on my neck and i wanted to cry
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Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 9:07 PM UTC
catharsis
Concave i savor each divet and dive contrive symbols and words on smooth skin dusted with faint golden hairs like archaic scriptures written before time was a thing we kept track of so i dont keep track of my mind as these shakes send me into riffs of euphoric bliss and each grazing touch brings me closer to the soul on this journey of self discovery a trip from which Ill never return I burn two incense at the same time one for Kelly one for Evangeline the release flows into one another as they sweetly invade my permeable mind tearing it down til it becomes ash soft and sweet with only recognition of what its burning for my hands travel more and i dive deeper within the soul begins to escape my pores wide open doors this temple is mine to explore bones and flesh the beauty arrests my attention and i have never felt a more beautiful being with each lingering caress sparks tickle and jest and there is nothing more that I need than this endless exchange
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Jun 18, 2013
Jun 18, 2013 at 1:41 PM UTC
discovered from the inside out
Children Waiting for the School Bus Children still wait for the yellow school bus Along old country roads as early spring Makes green the happy springtime of their lives They carry backpacks now, and wear shoes every day Because The State of Texas sternly forbids bare feet In the sacred halls of learning, even in the heat Children ignore the passing cars, and joy In their new world of giggles and first crushes Cedar-wood pencils and Evangeline – We too still wait for that yellow school bus
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Feb 13, 2017
Feb 13, 2017 at 9:30 PM UTC
Children Waiting for the School Bus
when Evangeline tells you that you’re dead to her, you feel as if you are chained to a sinking ship, permanently trapped at the bottom of the ocean, and drowning has never seemed so sweet. as she leaves, you realise that this is the closest blessing you will ever receive from a god that you don’t believe in anymore. because if she didn’t walk away, you would drag her down to hell with you before you’d even consider letting her go
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May 14, 2017
May 14, 2017 at 10:09 PM UTC
evangeline
“**Hineni, Hineni; I’m ready, my lord.”   (For Evangeline Ruth Hope**) <> *”Hineni is Hebrew for “here I am,” and is the response Abraham gives when God calls on him to sacrifice his son Isaac. It is also the name of a prayer of preparation and humility, addressed to God”* <> *what you do not know is that this word, was spoken with a fist beating a pin into the praying man’s chest recited daily, shades of hopeful, reverent resonance, a shaded resolution, disguised as a quavering variable, a statement, a questioning, an unsteady surety, all of the above this word, rooted in my genetic consciousness, been ready repeated since my first whispering was I ten years aged? first time, full on bowing on the synagogue floor, not fully understanding or ready to confess my selfish need for forgiveness, my forehead resting on my stubbed fingers resting on carpet, worn thin by my predecessors ancestors, who now comprehend more, but then, never enough these same fingers, that write this collective,                                   Hineni, a word repeated oft, flavoring of the who of who I am, a training in soul fracking from early childhood, its import, powerful beyond today’s identity revisionist empowering let me plainly speak, in the original language taught to me with that other tag along, English, a lingua franca, a dialect that can never capture a soul presenting himself in substantiated readiness for the whatever exists in between hallelujah and hineni, where the rubber soul hits the road, stumbling on hands and knees on a forest path of roots and soil, where sunlight breaks tween branches, are road signs to look up, look down, look within I know your name, Evangeline Ruth Hope analyzed its components, cleverly constructed Greek and Hebrew rooted, bearer of good tidings, following Ruth in, to hope, you a Moabite in Mormon Utah, preparing yourself for exposure, practicing humility unceasingly seeking good that is how it should be cannot translate well enough what was this gift given to me learning as a youth, a wanderer, tribal member where beseeching is second nature, and accepting personal responsibility fully cardinal, fiddling prayers while standing unsteady on the roofs of extreme shakiness hineni is then but this: a prideful admission of strength ready ready ready, here I am, completely unready for the unknown future foretold, hineni I know here I am, ready or not, find me so I can be found, cease, help me cease, my foundering, confident in my willingness to find a way* netanel 9/12/19
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Sep 12, 2019
Sep 12, 2019 at 8:27 AM UTC
“Hineni, Hineni; I’m ready, my lord.” (For Evangeline Ruth Hope)
“**Hineni, Hineni; I’m ready, my lord.”   (For Evangeline Ruth Hope**) <> *”Hineni is Hebrew for “here I am,” and is the response Abraham gives when God calls on him to sacrifice his son Isaac. It is also the name of a prayer of preparation and humility, addressed to God”* <> *what you do not know is that this word, was spoken with a fist beating a pin into the praying man’s chest recited daily, shades of hopeful, reverent resonance, a shaded resolution, disguised as a quavering variable, a statement, a questioning, an unsteady surety, all of the above this word, rooted in my genetic consciousness, been ready repeated since my first whispering was I ten years aged? first time, full on bowing on the synagogue floor, not fully understanding or ready to confess my selfish need for forgiveness, my forehead resting on my stubbed fingers resting on carpet, worn thin by my predecessors ancestors, who now comprehend more, but then, never enough these same fingers, that write this collective,                                   Hineni, a word repeated oft, flavoring of the who of who I am, a training in soul fracking from early childhood, its import, powerful beyond today’s identity revisionist empowering let me plainly speak, in the original language taught to me with that other tag along, English, a lingua franca, a dialect that can never capture a soul presenting himself in substantiated readiness for the whatever exists in between hallelujah and hineni, where the rubber soul hits the road, stumbling on hands and knees on a forest path of roots and soil, where sunlight breaks tween branches, are road signs to look up, look down, look within I know your name, Evangeline Ruth Hope analyzed its components, cleverly constructed Greek and Hebrew rooted, bearer of good tidings, following Ruth in, to hope, you a Moabite in Mormon Utah, preparing yourself for exposure, practicing humility unceasingly seeking good that is how it should be cannot translate well enough what was this gift given to me learning as a youth, a wanderer, tribal member where beseeching is second nature, and accepting personal responsibility fully cardinal, fiddling prayers while standing unsteady on the roofs of extreme shakiness hineni is then but this: a prideful admission of strength ready ready ready, here I am, completely unready for the unknown future foretold, hineni I know here I am, ready or not, find me so I can be found, cease, help me cease, my foundering, confident in my willingness to find a way* netanel 9/12/19
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