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Emerald Proctor Feb 2013
Leave me to be young,
to shrivel.
A white gardenia always must wither,
and shrivel;
Die.
Leave me to marry,
to love.
A heart can pump alone I assure you,
leave me to revoke my own sins.
A lost cause you take me,
and your silence will break me.
Your pesticides will **** off anything natural I possess!
A White Gardenia must shrivel and,
die.
Success is what disillusions me,
in pretense I fight.
A war on egos, envy and such!
It is all I know in my mechanical set-up,
is to follow the world in it's redundant tide.
A White Gardenia can bloom,
it can shrivel,
wither.
A White Gardenia always must die.
This is all I know being an adolescent in a modern society, materialism.
For three years, out of key with his time,
He strove to resuscitate the dead art
Of poetry; to maintain “the sublime”
In the old sense. Wrong from the start—

No, hardly, but seeing he had been born
In a half savage country, out of date;
Bent resolutely on wringing lilies from the acorn;
Capaneus; trout for factitious bait;

Idmen gar toi panth, hos eni troie
Caught in the unstopped ear;
Giving the rocks small lee-way
The chopped seas held him, therefore, that year.

His true Penelope was Flaubert,
He fished by obstinate isles;
Observed the elegance of Circe’s hair
Rather than the mottoes on sun-dials.

Unaffected by “the march of events,”
He passed from men’s memory in l’an trentuniesme
de son eage;the case presents
No adjunct to the Muses’ diadem.

II
The age demanded an image
Of its accelerated grimace,
Something for the modern stage
Not, at any rate, an Attic grace;

Not, certainly, the obscure reveries
Of the inward gaze;
Better mendacities
Than the classics in paraphrase!

The “age demanded” chiefly a mould in plaster,
Made with no loss of time,
A prose kinema, not, not assuredly, alabaster
Or the “sculpture” of rhyme.

III
The tea-rose tea-gown, etc.
Supplants the mousseline of Cos,
The pianola “replaces”
Sappho’s barbitos.

Christ follows Dionysus,
******* and ambrosial
Made way for macerations;
Caliban casts out Ariel.

All things are a flowing
Sage Heracleitus say;
But a ****** cheapness
Shall outlast our days.

Even the Christian beauty
Defects—after Samothrace;
We see to kalon
Decreed in the market place.

Faun’s flesh is not to us,
Nor the saint’s vision.
We have the press for wafer;
Franchise for circumcision.

All men, in law, are equals.
Free of Pisistratus,
We choose a knave or an ******
To rule over us.

O bright Apollo,
Tin andra, tin heroa, tina theon,
What god, man or hero
Shall I place a tin wreath upon!

IV
These fought in any case,
And some believing,
                                pro domo, in any case…

Some quick to arm,
some for adventure,
some from fear of weakness,
some from fear of censure,
some for love of slaughter, in imagination,
learning later…
some in fear, learning love of slaughter;

Died some, pro patria,
                                non “dulce” not “et decor”…
walked eye-deep in hell
believing old men’s lies, then unbelieving
came home, home to a lie,
home to many deceits,
home to old lies and new infamy;
usury age-old and age-thick
and liars in public places.

Daring as never before, wastage as never before.
Young blood and high blood,
fair cheeks, and fine bodies;

fortitude as never before

frankness as never before,
disillusions as never told in the old days,
hysterias, trench confessions,
laughter out of dead bellies.

V
There died a myriad,
And of the best, among them,
For an old ***** gone in the teeth,
For a botched civilization,

Charm, smiling at the good mouth,
Quick eyes gone under earth’s lid,

For two gross of broken statues,
For a few thousand battered books.
ryn Jan 2015
I recently got reminded... Oh how I am caught
In a delicate web of disillusions
Make me see what is actually not
Make invisible my heart's secret questions

Been successful in putting aside all grief
But truth has it's way to make you pay
You can bury all grievances; you can mask all disbelief
But it'll all catch up; these things you've kept at bay

Make your silly compromises
To have the the best you just make allowances
Keep up your futile pretences
Accommodate your selfish preferences

Day had dawned where each question need their answer
Questions I've shrugged and left unaddressed
Indistinguishable when fact and fiction begin to blur
When dreams and reality have coalesced

Tonight I lay with the load I bring
Body asleep with my heart fully awake
Blessing or curse, this rude awakening
Decisions and choices left for the following suns to make
Sarita Crandall Nov 2012
Creeping up the steps of the building,
She holds her breath.
The building stares at her with massive, polished eyes,
Eyes of judgement,
Daring her to enter it's realm of formality,
It's realm of order and conduct.
She holds her breath.
A chill passes through her when she sees the others.
Dressed to impress,
Traveling in packs, like wolves of the wild.
And completely unaware of everything.
They have attended a private performance,
Put on by the people,
They immerse themselves with, surround themselves with.
She holds her breath.
The walls beckon her in, soak her in.
And she blends into them like a chameleon.
Invisible.
She holds her breath.
Traveling soundlessly, with soft footsteps that don't echo along the hallow halls,
Making her way to her destination,
She holds her breath.
The door moans as it opens to reveal what lays behind.
Disappointment, dismay, disillusions,
Dread.
She holds her breath.
Miley L Jan 2015
We stood together
On the empty street
Two ghosts
Holding hands
Deafening heartbeats in sync
As our watercolor shadows intertwined into the light.
She leaned into his shoulder and cried
Only to find that she had fallen onto the cold pavement
And he was never there in the beginning.
g Nov 2013
Your words cut me like the harsh frost of winter. It's been a while since you've been gone but it's been winter year round, and I've been hoping for spring to melt away the bitterness in my head. There is ice on all of the paths and I keep slipping into a darkness that comes much earlier than it used to. I pray for spring to come, but all I've known is winter and what if it is harsher than these past few months? What if the warmth it promises is covered in morning dew and its smell is wrapped in our sheets?

Or what if the chains formed by the ice of quietly whispered lies keep me trapped against the post of un-forgetfulness? I'm beginning to believe the warmth that the sun brings has been trapped behind that same post you've locked me to, except the post is your bed, and it is the words that you let seep from your lips into my ears.

I have been longing for words delicate enough to live inside my heart but also longing for words of bravery strong enough to dance with my demons until I see the seasons change within me. I've been longing for spring. Desires glimmer in my eyes, grasping for the hope of change. I've been clinging to hope more fragile than lilac's petals when they first begin to bloom.

Spring was warm this year, but the nights were still cold and it froze me to the core. I hid under piles of blankets to keep my demons warm, but the fabric smelt like us and it only fueled the bitterness in my eyes. I could not even admire the flowers, never mind touch them. I imagined myself destroying them in my palm, much like you had done to me with every ungentle touch and every forced word through gritted teeth.

The summer promised warmth, but you promised love and I have yet to feel either. I was still frozen, I was still stuck in winter even if the sun kissed my skin. The ocean looked like your eyes and I will never forget your stare as long as the ocean remains a deep blue. The tide reminded me of every embrace you'd push away from, but I'd always come back for more because you remained there like the sand that matched the color of your hair. You were essentially always my ocean, but your ocean drowned me and I'm still recovering from every gasping breath and every un-spoken cry for an escape.

The salty ocean kissed my skin before the tide pulled it away again. Ill never forget the way the sun reflecting on my drenched skin reminds me of your shoulder the time I cried on it and left tear stains on your shirt as proof that you were once mine. This seems to be my only proof that the words "I love you" once escaped from your lips because I never hear them anymore and the small flower buds I saw when the seasons changed have begun to wilt the same way your feelings for me did, when I could no longer handle being used.

Fall came closer and I could hear it in your words and see it in your eyes when your gaze became more lifeless than your touch. I watched us both fall through the branches of empty promises we formed along side our webs of fading emotions which never seemed to soften our landing as we planned. The sky darkened the same time our chances at being okay again did, and I think I could see love's flame burning out inside of my own body, except I'm not so sure that the flame I was feeling was every actually ever love or just a rush of feelings and helpless falling into the pits of our disillusions.

The leaves were full of color and full of life, but there was little life in your words, and they fell into piles of lies. I wanted to jump in them, but I could hear the crunch of time when I was forced to choose if I would let you continue to touch me with an untruthful hand, or if I would leave as fast as the summer had.

I'm not so sure which month I would prefer to die in. To be honest, I died in all of them. Winter came back and the familiar fear of icy roads and bitter words were all I had left. I don't think I would last more than three months in winter, but spring left little hope. I was as fragile as every petal, on every flower, on every bush. I was broken by your words but to die in spring was to die by your hand and that is a fate I could never obtain in a peaceful manner.

The heat from summer approached and I swear I could feel your touch in every beam of sunlight that hit my skin. The warm rays hit my neck like the kisses you planted there and trailed down my spine like seeds that were meant to grow flowers inside of me. Or at least that's what I thought. Every cold fall day raised goose bumps of fear on my skin with the uncertain thoughts multiplying in my head. The seasons still change every year much like you did every time I thought I understood you.  I hoped one day the seasons would find a balance and allow my heart to beat at ease again; but that has yet to happen and I still live every day in fear that you'll bring another winter storm to me again.
Cadence Musick Sep 2014
sunday bled down my legs
my petals bloomed
your bitten lips
and the smirks between my thighs
a burning kiss
the bathtub water turned murky
a  basin of sin
cutting up ******* lines
perfect symmetry
****** apartments with molded
carpets
kids with their hair bleached
love disillusions the mind  
   to me that's scarier
than a needle
puncturing veins
and
the long twist of train tracks
on lonely purple nights,
winter bitten cheeks
The man in the mirror
envelops his fractal fingers
over my scathing sight,
seeking quixotic symmetry,
the apogean gift of harmony,
with his enigmatic allure,
disillusions me off vanity;
off a falsifying dream.
The liar traps me in his liar,
to aid in his endless search for perfection
while shaming me for the sins I repent.
Vanity is one nasty thing.
HELEN MOULE May 2012
THE MASK….

This mask that I wear
Is worn with care
Behind this mask
Is someone so
Rare
Beware!!!

For this mask can tell
A million stories
Of fight and glories
Behind this mask
Resides the real me
Confusions
Disillusions
Loneliness
Restlessness

This mask is worn
To cover the scars
Marred by the years
Of fears
Tears
Afraid of not being
Heard
Shattered confidences
Self-worth
Pity showing its ugly face
Feeling of disgrace
So never be fooled
By the mask that is worn
It could be I am tattered
And torn

This mask that I wear
Keeps me secure
And so sure
Silently watching
From every corner
Gaining strength
Dignity
And grace
Finally someday
I will show
My true face
© Helen Moule
23rd April 2012
A Visceral Collection Of Thoughts: Genevieve of the Deep

24/2/15
10:52

"What if we could be like this forever?"
She asked, right before daylight broke through the window.
Her gaze fixated up on his lips
As they were draped in dawn.
He tried his hardest to answer her
Sincerely
In between yawns
"What if we were willing?" Came out from his mouth
As she anxiously read each word.
"We can't control the winds of time, no more than we can control the depths of the mind.
Just slow down so I can be with you.
The more time we spend the less we save."

She sat up, letting the sheets fall to her navel,
Tears welling up,
Her heart racing with every gulp.
She looked at him
With a glance of which to read he was unable.
"I wonder if you'll miss me as I already miss you."



20/2/15
9:59


On a train
Racing through the night
She feels as if her life is being  
Led in black and white
Monochrome
Distractions
From colourful
Would- bes
Could- bes
Maybes
And disillusions.
Glancing down at her lap
Upon it, the note from him
This is a plunge she's not ready to take
But his is a heart she's not ready to break.

On a train racing through the night
She's distraught
Between a decision concerning wrong and right
Which path to take
Whose heart to break
A union so encouraged
Yet, such a risk to take.
What would she become
If she were to take on his name?
Would her loss be soothed by potential gains?

On a train racing through
The night
Her mind wonders off to the shore outside
Her heart floats along the coast
Ready to set out with the tide

12:12

He longed for her
For reasons he knew not.
He longed for her
For reasons she knew not,
Yet he made her the most
Distraught
She had been in her whole life.
Time escaped her
As he called on her.
Her choices seemed to have been made for her.
Her family's blessing
Her hand to be given away
All for the sake of a name.

He longed for her
For reasons he knew not.
She longed for another
And sure of his feelings she was not.
Was this to be what her life was to become?
Was she to settle with someone else who wasn't the one?


25/2/15
20:00

A single rose
Awaits her
In a vase by the vanity.
She sits,
Staring into the mirror.
Three days prior
To a life changing ceremony
Built upon disparity.

A single rose
Awaits her
In a vase by the vanity.
Her thoughts flood with memories of them.
One she loved for sure
In spite of his heart being unsure
And the one who longed for her
Yet she didn't love him
And of this she was sure.

A single rose
Awaits her
In a vase by the vanity
Dripping in money, name, and social standing.
A rose from a good family,
However many thorns.
A thorn for each month of courtship,
Only 3 at that.
A whirl wind affair,
Her own private hell, dressed up as a grandiose affair.
A realisation that all families have thorns.
However, she was determined to pick and choose.
Thorns can be worth the pain if you let go of that which you hope to lose.
She knew this rose was solely meant to wilt before her eyes and she'd only have thorns.

A single rose
Awaits her in a vase by the vanity.
To her left,
From the balcony,
The ocean calls her name softly.

A single rose
Awaits her in a vase by the vanity.
Suddenly,
She gives into a rush of insanity.


13/3/15
10:11

She ran
Fleeing down the stairs
One after another.
She ran
As if all of her troubles
Were to vanish under the soles of her feet.
Knowing not where she was going
She descended down the spiral staircase.
No time for shoes,
No time for make up
No time for her hair.
She ran
Right out the door
Tired of wondering if there could be more.
She ran and ran
Until she reached the shore,
She could no longer deny the beckoning of the waves anymore.


18/2/15
12:13

Submerged,
Submerged,
Submerged.
She pulled up her dress and walked in
This wouldn't be the last of her
This wouldn't be how it ends
But somehow this wouldn't be the start of anything either
Bubbles of air escaped as she descended deeper and deeper
Visions of the past escaped
And she plunged further and further
Soon the world around her fell to hues black and of gray
As she let the world around her slip away

Submerged,
Submerged,
Submerged.
That's all she had ever been for an age.
Galaxies sprung to life and died around her.
All while Her white dress shimmered akin to the tears of those who knew her
And yet she was still submerged.
She watched as time went by
Forlonging the hand that Life held out to her
Disregarding the embrace Death longed to bestow upon her.
Frozen by her fear
Yet illuminated by her passion.
It was never the right time for her

11:10

"Waste away with me"
She awoke
At the bottom of the sea.
"Waste away with me"
Finally grasping the time she had eluded for an eternity.
She wondered how could anything have remained the same
For those above her on the shore,
For those who hadn't made such brash decisions
Leaving all they knew behind
In order to buy an ungodly amount of time.

"Waste away with me"
She was still submerged
In the arms of Davy Jones.
"Waste away with me"
Could she ever really return home?
Back to the love from which she fled,
Back to the dawn drenched sheets, the one mourning in bed, asking her honest love, one true,
If he were willing to spend a lifetime, no longer as one, but as two.

"Waste away with me"
The voice called to her again.
She rose to her feet,
Looking to the water above her.
Her eyes had never shown as bright
As they did in these depths, this night.
Pulling on her white dress at the sides
She ascended up and out to the tides.
The waves washed away beneath her bare feet in the night.
She breathed in the ocean air
High above the sea
Glancing upon the forgone lights of her city
Balling her hands into fists
As she took in the night air
Howling around her.
"Waste away with me"
The voice called out to her again
As she flew towards the shore.  


25/2/15
12:24

Soaring
Above the town
As the waves beckoned to her
Searching in the night
For the love that had escaped her.
Where would there be any trace?
How much time had passed?
Where had the years gone?

Soaring above the town
As the waves beckoned to her.
She flew as if it were something she easily knew how to do.
Her shimmering white dress fluttered
In the wind.
Her haunting, howling mane swirled around her head.
Her eyes, now blue as the seas, pierced brightly through the night,
Yet she was still unable to find,
The man
That she loved for all this time.

Soaring above the town
As the waves beckoned to her
She caught glimpse of a cemetery
And began her descent down.
A story comprised of poems I wrote in under five minutes or less.
Eloisa Feb 2019
Nurture your strength and let it freely grow
Gather your spirit, paddle your own canoe
The  darkest storms and all the wildest waves
Spiralling winds,  the strongest gales
All these torments, disillusions and dismays
Easy and strong paddles keep you adrift and unafraid
Sophie Herzing Mar 2013
Don't tell me I have your attention when I don't.
Captivated you in a church dress with the hole in the stockings,
eating salted tomatoes between two slices of bread
feet touching mine under the table
on a Sunday after my Confirmation ceremony.

Don't tell me how naughty a catholic school girl can be
with your hand on my thigh and a thumb on my cheek.
Kissing me hard and heavy, leaving a bite on my lip with a grunt
smiling while you whip your hair back from your tan skin and brown eyes.

Don't tell me you love the way I look when you don't know me yet.
Cigarette drag me out
breathing smoke behind my ears as you lay your hand
out the window beside your bed,
while my mama's sleeping and doesn't know where I am
and my white blouse is on the chair
hanging next to my purity.

Don't tell me how unholy I've been when you don't know faith.
How it's not worth praying for something I don't have any more,
lost in my own disillusions that you created out of words you swear you left unsaid,
with a tear pressed against the part of me that felt like it was falling in love.

Don't tell me that it's all my fault.

Don't call me your lady
when all I ever wanted was for you
to settle down with me like a safety,
anchor your trust in my belly
made to keep my body warm, but your icy cold.

Don't rip or tear or strike out your own mistakes on my body.

Don't tell me how ****** up innocence is
when all I was before you came was a Mary Jane
shoe with some of the leather worn on the sole from walking
too far to find someone to caress my hair.

Don't leave me open and dry
when all this ever was, was an advantage you took too easily
on an infatuated girl who was too young
and didn't know the difference.
Mike Essig Apr 2015
IV

These fought in any case,
And some believing, pro domo, in any case ..

Some quick to arm,
some for adventure,
some from fear of weakness,
some from fear of censure,
some for love of slaughter, in imagination,
learning later…

some in fear, learning love of slaughter;
Died some, pro patria, non dulce et non decor..
walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men's lies, then unbelieving
came home, home to a lie,
home to many deceits,
home to old lies and new infamy;
usury age-old and age-thick
and liars in public places.

Daring as never before, wastage as never before.
Young blood and high blood,
Fair cheeks, and fine bodies;
fortitude as never before

frankness as never before,
disillusions as never told in the old days,
hysterias, trench confessions,
laughter out of dead bellies.

from *Hugh Selwyn Mauberley
WWI was the greatest catastrophe to befall European Civilization to that point. This is what Pound had to say about war, soldiers and after. I don't think it has been said better. The emphasis is mine.
Jonathan Pizarro Feb 2011
A mask of lies disguises my inner thoughts
Accompanied by a black veil which conceals my sorrows
A cage of snakes hold captive everything I ever bought
While ropes of disillusions hold back my tomorrows

Encountering materialistic poisons that plague my existence
With a side dish of infectious bad habits
Offered with a full menu of self-destructive malignance
That are stuffed into my boxed head like voting ballots

Having a desire for unwanted capitulation
Which lead to uncontrollable regrettable decisions
But a light guides me on a path to true elation
With nervousness overcoming my body like a surgeon making his first incision

Darkness becomes light blessed with colorful roses
A flame of love has ignited its route like a traveling circus
Followed by a wandering mind that creatively composes
As life’s symphonic strings are strummed, this writer finds his purpose

Jonathan Pizarro
Copyright 2011 ©
January 29, 2011 2:40am
Copyright 2011 ©
M Clement Jul 2014
******* my comeuppance.
There's a lot of boring here

Learning new text
Fighting new 'plex
And settling into no other

Life as a smattered painting
Galaxy's attempt at recreation
Correctional institutions of cellular disillusions

Peeing off the side of the golden gate to create a meta golden gate
Ships sail underneath my toxins.

Vulgarity for clarity and cleverness for its sake.
Drown myself in intoxication and say things in it's wake.

Welcome to life post life. Welcome to a lonely impasse. Welcome to a place that God desires, let's hope it will soon pass.
Parveen Sagar Jul 2012
Huddling and cuddling I held you so lightly
Do you remember those cold nights my child?
You were mumbling and drooling, and cooed ever so slightly
When I pointed at the moon, you looked up and smiled

“Mooooon!” I said to you, to which you replied,
“Mooo!”
And then I laughed a little - and maybe - I cried
We’d shared an experience so unfathomable in consequence
And by naming it, to you I had lied

Will you forgive me my child, for that cosmic crime?
The moment when I stole that which shone in your eyes
When you echoed my mistakes reverberating in time
But ignorant, I wrapped you, so snugly in those dark skies

Do you remember those cold nights my child?

In this cold night, the moon has lit up full again
Only tonight, our bodies share not this blanket of lights
Disillusioned with disillusions we have become since then
But still I wish to unwrap you from the words I write

My child, I ask you, look up once more,
But let not facticity blindfold your sight
Feel that which language bids you withhold
And play I pray with the rabbit that lives in the sky
22/9/15
23:54

And i can feel you slipping away
Away
But never truly leaving.
Could it be that
You still feel for me?
Or am i just lonely
With my disillusions
Its been 3.5 years
And i'm stuck here
With my heart in
Rear
Reverse gears
That wont allow me to crack on
Perverse fears
That wont allow me to move on
Because what if i really could get over you?
And you me?
Would that be something we'd be willing to do?
In order to transgress through life
Separately?
I hope to high hell
We cant
And
We wont
I miss you now more than i've ever missed anyone else
And these memories and thoughts of you are more real than my surroundings
It's all over now
I'll take the chair by the corner window
A seating for one and the lonely reserved
the sun bright rays from the outside
and yet it is raining and cold here inside

Let me have a piece of your sweet nothings
and a cup of your bittersweet concoction
Stir it, make it strong, make it potent
To bathe my tongue in your flavorful sorrow

A subtle hint of sweetness from the better days
so little, like this honey in my cup to drink
I ask for more but was denied of supply
None for me or just not for me unfortunately

I ate your sorrows and broken dreams
got drunk in your meaningless lines
Suffered from your inflicted sadness
Got poisoned by your killer disillusions
kirklefrance Feb 2013
The day of the Dark Horse has ended,misconceptions preordained conventions,child born of transparent illusions,opaque confusions, coded disillusions,confounded conclusions,contradicted conflict-ions,choreographed addictions,but your blessed with constricted restrictions only intended to cause abrupt-ed comb-ructions.
A Judas priest in the least martyr in the West King of the East,yet without The Prince of Peace the em-pending doom at Shanghai noon you though it deep but in the end the Dish ran away with the spoon
alliterations can blend but you know you killed it when ink flows from a pen,continually my itinerary of verbal artillery frees me like the herbal relief of the leaf
at dawn with pipe I take a yawn at life,tired of dreams bewildered at screams why give a **** if you dont know what it means
My banks run over flooded with emotion familiar in detail yet clueless to the notion,my ships at sail without an ocean,beached like a whale depressed i creep like a snail,lots of stories but a fish with no tail....**** I'm going blind and i cant read Braille,no enemies cause there are no friends,no friends cause i don't want to Fri -in the- end,instilled with distilled fear and wisdom is how we begin,lost in diluted confusions is how most of us end..we hunger for freedom and long a savior though we act like animals we don't judge our behavior,survivors of the night we strive until the light....Celestial Being..80s
Initially, it was an innocent feeling
A longing to escape treacherous lives.
In one season the seed was sown,
And in another hope was reaped.

Before long, the path to new lands was paved.

Differing thoughts bound by creed,
Met at the river of blood
Parting between Ebony and Ivory.
It was grief that sheltered them.

At home, it was prosperity that was desired.
Love was for Lady Success, yet unrequited.
But amongst the best, the love brought setbacks,
And amongst the worst, it carried envy.

Thus the path to wealth blocked with thorns and thistles.

The seeds sown among the thorns,
Are the peerless seeds.
But disillusions of wealth and pleasure choke them,
*Reaping nothing but unfruitful labour.
kj May 2015
disillusions of the soul
falsify the truth of the now
so we fall back remembering
lost times where people
met in space and light
that paralleled a greater life
reflectionzero May 2014
that truth injected a liquid coal that was
to pulse my veins forever.
pulled back the blinds
and shrouded me in darkness.
extinguished the flames
and charred the place
where I housed our dreams.

Cracking the concrete that lead to our door.

devoured the life
surrounding the perimeter.

engulfed me in a blackness
I won't soon forget.

misled by my own disillusions of who I wanted you to be.
the pages of this fairy tale are blank,
and would better make for kindling.

Rather start new,
or keep warm for that matter,
I chose to walk toward the lake alone.

feet bound by lies
I toss this to the cliffs,
broken with the others at the bottom.

misled by my own disillusion
of who I wanted you to be.

I weakened myself at the knees
and fell to my own imagination.

Dragons and princess,
I sword-struck myself silly.

these scars are not my own.
star-gaze reminiscence
we ALL fall down.

my faith is absent.

I lay the ghost of you down to sleep.
Kiss your forehead and destroy
the reflection of myself
I never wish to see again.
Shrouded, blank, Shrouded, blank.

Feet  bound  by  lies
you hung bleeding water
into a rapidly growing puddle.

I watch the sun set in our
tear stained canvas sky.

-r0
ALamar Apr 2014
The possibilities of logic and hope
***** by liars and theives
Nature's reproach
The likelihood of making it to that house on a hill
Is unlikely when reality gives no real options
It demands you sacrifice everything you got just to survive
Potential unfulfilled an existence contrived
Life is the most engineered of games
An array of chess moves with the same conclusions
Babies having babies believing they can be good mothers
Prisonors phoning home in hopes of reaching their kids from behind that glass
Disillusions won't allow them to see the forest past the trees
And with instability neither with their seeds
Pictures are worth a thousand words
But if genocide is all these babies see
What else do you think they gon' grow up to be
So hard to please, **** I'm on my knees.  So speak up let me know what's on that runaway  mind of yours, first one to say talk to me but you just stay silent.  You are your worst enemy  I know first hand so quick to jump to conclusions harbour of your own illusions disillusions.  Fill trapped inside of my own pleas just to get you to see.......  All of me , but you just don't believe.  Why can't you see?  Why can't I be enough of what you need?  I'm not here to deceave or make believe, You alone is what I conceave of that I really need.
Sukanya Basu Aug 2019
I have unwilled myself to see what I should have
And yet chose to see what I shouldn't,
It is my choice really and it burns down to common ashes
of disillusionments and a make shift place of perpetual tiresome
Endeavours

Mounting to nothing.

I have gazed at stars and other common misinterpretations of love and set myself to dry out what's left of my individuality;
Upon star-gazing and eventual ruination,
My packed backs from eight to three have failed me to decipher
What life can provide me with;

I have misused time and shrunken my perspectives to fit in a square thatch that provides no shelter;

Star gazing has left me, point blank.
Love hits you when you least expect it.
It comes in a moment when you're not looking or ready for it.
Meeting a stranger in a strange place, in a strange time seems like a fairy tale we've been fed as lies all our lives.


It all starts off innocently enough...
A smile here, a laugh there and a casual touch.
But that innocence doesn't always last and leads to something more.
It just depends on who wanted those moments to last longer.


Love can make you feel all sorts of things, it disillusions you to believe that everything you have with them is real. One moment in time can change everything, just a little look of the eyes can make you feel a thousand things.


Hearing the softness in their voice when they tell you how they feel, can make you catch a disease no one ever wants to feel.


The sweet words that are said that give you a feeling of bliss, soon turn to sweet lies that make you feel as if you don't exist.


Falling in love is oh so easy, the happy moments spent daydreaming of the possibilities.


But the moment those feelings burn to the ground, you finally realise it wasn't worth all the pain you've been feeling after a while inside.


Just like falling in love it hits you hard when you fall out of love, your world comes crashing down around you as ashes that you built with the person you once loved.
I used to love you with all my heart
but your selfish ways made me
for this was my defence
to the cruelty you put me through

Now I stand without wanting you
you were nothing but disillusions
and all those times you said you loved me
were just falsehoods and illusions

You broke me till near death
but from the ashes of despair I did grow
did you think I would die
on you're battlefield of lies

Now child of ignorance
I will prove my worth
the call to heaven
and this sweet Earth

I don't think you knew my love for you
that wreckage you called me
you made cold your visage
with nothing left to salvage

By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris
Anand Acharya Aug 2015
Empty clarity and me
a hopeless hermit
among tiny misty mountain peak.
Blazing away to careless dances,
raw disillusions
and looking upward, inward, outward.

Except,
my thoughts are not mine,
my words are not mine.
Are my smiles real?
or fragments of tear.

why am I with me?
dying but never dead.
created but never awake
Santos Servantes Aug 2014
Beasties in cages.
Dried up minds
conspiring
newfound finds
of old disillusions.
Unknown sorrow
from silent
retributions.
If only these tears
were just dreams
instead of the women,
and little children's,
stabbing schemes.
Lock you up
for another day,
tomorrow's struggles
unending.
Sleep doesn't cure all
of the mockery bending
the very walls of your cage
young beastie.
Poetic T May 2017
I  was a funeral pyre for there disillusions. All arched in collective
fragmentation of what transpired within the variation of echoes that
collected upon them. Like voices on a beach of shells shattering harmoniously they fell like sheets cleaved from a washing line.

I just looked, my voice rippling across the street of what I was perceiving, they were now not mesmerised by the effigy of
my features but know they fled. Neither walking but unattached
to what was perceived. Their stares blank cavities of nothingness.

Wondering within what could be perceived as a pastel painting,
things where they were meant to be, but!!
Slightly
              out of focus, windows were like breath had been woven
within there frame of reflection. Random verses collected then
like a candle they were melting into the mist collecting till nothing.

The focus of my mind was that it wasn't just the images of aged personality woven with the fabric of this place but images of
children in happiness then contorted within what could be perceived
as loneliness. they walked alone hand out like in a needing of
what couldn't be complicity conceived.

Some were against formations  of what were perceived as walls,
but looking upon them, more like memories coalescing  into tight
collects. Were these the structures of lives lived not formed into
a accumulation  of reflections? I bent down to talk to these echoes
of what i perceived as children and they cried memories on my palms.

**To Be Continued
Colin E Havard Mar 2014
Like moths battering against the light,
We continually throw ourselves at a capitalist ideal,
Which, for the most part, burns and disillusions;
Entices with wondrous rewards, but leaves us hungry;
Bamboozles and beguiles - a tantalizing phantasm.

Like moths, we're attracted to the glorious lie;
A lie perpetuated by self-serving media
And a frivolous entertainment industry,
Hell-bent on manipulation and distraction;
Feeding our restless cravings - enthralling and elusive.

Like moths, we aspire the light and neglect the dark;
Bewitched by sparkly luxuries and the spoilt rich;
Committed to bigger and better, regardless
Of the poverty encamped along the street
And the nagging stresses - undermining certainty and sapping souls.

Like moths, too few escape the glare...
22/1/2010
The Missing Link - Gaia's Boy Toy
Matt Nov 2020
From the mountains of Utah, you came to Virginia
The land of natures’ ****** beauty and America
You came not to fill your well, but met Pisces, pure as Kenya
And your heart was filled, but you couldn’t handle the weight

From the deserts I flew, and landed in Virginia
And searched not with intent, but found you in suburbia
And you filled my heart, oh, how you filled me with euphoria
Of myself, I did not need help carrying the weight

Your love, heavy as Shenandoah in Virginia
Was as wild as a Chinese firecracker in Spring
But could be as cold as a winter night in Iberia
And it grew heavy on my shoulders, your loving weight

Your heart spoke to me, damaged, with a strange charisma
You harbored a pain from love and brought it to Virginia
You tried to give me some, tried to decipher your enigma
Your love, heavy as piled snow, a burdensome weight

Summer carried a burning warmth that brought you to me
Delighted, I embraced you like our Father heavenly
But winter crept in and brought a chilling cold that painfully,
Had slowed our pace with a nightmarishly freezing breeze

I trekked through the barren wastes that used to be so green
I nearly died trying to find your embers now unseen
I came across them, fading, yet I’d pour on them gasoline
Anything to reignite you, bright and burning queen

Anything to reignite our wholesome emotion
I can’t put it to words, but I give you such devotion
How I long to return to our simple harmonic motion
And fend off the damning fears of your baseless notions

Yet still when night dawns upon me, restlessness befells
A demon whisks me out of bed and carries me to Hell
Even when in her light, I drown in insecurities’ well
And the black waters that consume me smother my yell

When I wake, I wake to a hungering confusion
My mind numbed by my paranoia and disillusions
I know they’re phantoms, even still I can’t find a solution
God, woman! Get out of my mind!

Yet I digress, for of this woman I am obsessed
But I don’t know what to do, so should my love be confessed?
God, the fear in my heart... Michael give me courage to resist
And cast out these doubts and strengthen my faith in the Lord

My troubles ferry me across the stormy, harsh, sea
As always, I’m drowned by a woman who don’t care for me
And I put on the chains myself, knowingly, as if proudly
Yet here I write, complaining, nay setting my soul free
STANZA: L1 = 13// L2 = 14// L3 = 15// L4 = 13
Melody Mar 2019
Melancholy bliss are your breaths,
Romances a heart straight to exile
Leaving only your desolation,
Death ain’t got a dime on you.

The salesman of disillusions
Happily shredding logic
Greedily you give all we loath

To observe,
An impending demise
As grace gives way on your grasp

Effortlessly Collecting pearls
Coming afloat our seas,
For your own vanity.

Melancholy bliss are your breaths,
Romances a heart straight to exile
Leaving only your desolation,
Death ain’t got a dime on you.
Thank you for reading loves.
Sade LK Feb 2014
Intrinsic distinction
Public justification of
Dissolved disillusions-
Delusional dysfunction.
Call it protocol, call it
Fuckitol, call it
Medication of salvation.
Those desperate endeavors.
Said with no regret, and
Spoken in staggered motion, with
Softly strong bold notions,
No hold could keep me
No pill to sleep me,
Sweetly, still and bitter ill
Is rippling the shadows
Of hollow fill.
And fed me rotting gut tubes
Glued to doom, the dreaded shade
Of shame’s false face
And traded grace for
Fate in pairs, no snare could state
How simply slaughtered was this day
So long ago.
Splintered glass ripped shards to blow
Open stitches sinking under skin
And again, and again
It went like this.
Again, and again,
It came to this.
Again, again,
It ends like this.
Written August 15th, 2013
irinia May 2016
“sometimes I get nervous
when I see an open door”*

not really in the mood for this
“who are you?”, I was asked
and the prolonged tears suddenly receded from language
shoulders, heels, nails looking for something closer to the happiness of sunken ships or whatever
my antishoulder, antiheel hurts
when you take my face into your hands
to drag my eyes into your cries
it’s just you and me now mother
let’s face it
your dying is my breath
my joy your death bed
temptation your authority
into the cemetery of numb disillusions
you wouldn’t let go of the death of words
you keep your sleeping pills for good
on empty shelves

I’ll stay in the doorway
to watch my birth
catching up with myself

— The End —