"disillusions" poems
Leave me to be young,
to shrivel.
A white gardenia always must wither,
and shrivel;
Die.
Leave me to marry,
to love.
A heart can pump alone I assure you,
leave me to revoke my own sins.
A lost cause you take me,
and your silence will break me.
Your pesticides will **** off anything natural I possess!
A White Gardenia must shrivel and,
die.
Success is what disillusions me,
in pretense I fight.
A war on egos, envy and such!
It is all I know in my mechanical set-up,
is to follow the world in it's redundant tide.
A White Gardenia can bloom,
it can shrivel,
wither.
A White Gardenia always must die.
Feb 9, 2013
Feb 9, 2013 at 1:37 PM UTC
I recently got reminded... Oh how I am caught
In a delicate web of disillusions
Make me see what is actually not
Make invisible my heart's secret questions
Been successful in putting aside all grief
But truth has it's way to make you pay
You can bury all grievances; you can mask all disbelief
But it'll all catch up; these things you've kept at bay
Make your silly compromises
To have the the best you just make allowances
Keep up your futile pretences
Accommodate your selfish preferences
Day had dawned where each question need their answer
Questions I've shrugged and left unaddressed
Indistinguishable when fact and fiction begin to blur
When dreams and reality have coalesced
Tonight I lay with the load I bring
Body asleep with my heart fully awake
Blessing or curse, this rude awakening
Decisions and choices left for the following suns to make
Jan 25, 2015
Jan 25, 2015 at 9:18 AM UTC
Creeping up the steps of the building,
She holds her breath.
The building stares at her with massive, polished eyes,
Eyes of judgement,
Daring her to enter it's realm of formality,
It's realm of order and conduct.
She holds her breath.
A chill passes through her when she sees the others.
Dressed to impress,
Traveling in packs, like wolves of the wild.
And completely unaware of everything.
They have attended a private performance,
Put on by the people,
They immerse themselves with, surround themselves with.
She holds her breath.
The walls beckon her in, soak her in.
And she blends into them like a chameleon.
Invisible.
She holds her breath.
Traveling soundlessly, with soft footsteps that don't echo along the hallow halls,
Making her way to her destination,
She holds her breath.
The door moans as it opens to reveal what lays behind.
Disappointment, dismay, disillusions,
Dread.
She holds her breath.
Nov 3, 2012
Nov 3, 2012 at 6:56 PM UTC
sunday bled down my legs
my petals bloomed
your bitten lips
and the smirks between my thighs
a burning kiss
the bathtub water turned murky
a basin of sin
cutting up ******* lines
perfect symmetry
****** apartments with molded
carpets
kids with their hair bleached
love disillusions the mind
to me that's scarier
than a needle
puncturing veins
and
the long twist of train tracks
on lonely purple nights,
winter bitten cheeks
Sep 7, 2014
Sep 7, 2014 at 9:10 PM UTC
The man in the mirror
envelops his fractal fingers
over my scathing sight,
seeking quixotic symmetry,
the apogean gift of harmony,
with his enigmatic allure,
disillusions me off vanity;
off a falsifying dream.
The liar traps me in his liar,
to aid in his endless search for perfection
while shaming me for the sins I repent.
Mar 17, 2015
Mar 17, 2015 at 4:58 AM UTC
THE MASK….
This mask that I wear
Is worn with care
Behind this mask
Is someone so
Rare
Beware!!!
For this mask can tell
A million stories
Of fight and glories
Behind this mask
Resides the real me
Confusions
Disillusions
Loneliness
Restlessness
This mask is worn
To cover the scars
Marred by the years
Of fears
Tears
Afraid of not being
Heard
Shattered confidences
Self-worth
Pity showing its ugly face
Feeling of disgrace
So never be fooled
By the mask that is worn
It could be I am tattered
And torn
This mask that I wear
Keeps me secure
And so sure
Silently watching
From every corner
Gaining strength
Dignity
And grace
Finally someday
I will show
My true face
© Helen Moule
23rd April 2012
May 6, 2012
May 6, 2012 at 2:29 PM UTC
Nurture your strength and let it freely grow
Gather your spirit, paddle your own canoe
The darkest storms and all the wildest waves
Spiralling winds, the strongest gales
All these torments, disillusions and dismays
Easy and strong paddles keep you adrift and unafraid
Feb 2, 2019
Feb 2, 2019 at 6:44 PM UTC
A vision obscured.
The eye darts frantic,
navigating around voids.
Lost in the entanglement
of refracted memories.
Finding home...
While swimming through cataracts
and disillusions.
Sep 16, 2025
Sep 16, 2025 at 8:30 AM UTC
Don't tell me I have your attention when I don't.
Captivated you in a church dress with the hole in the stockings,
eating salted tomatoes between two slices of bread
feet touching mine under the table
on a Sunday after my Confirmation ceremony.
Don't tell me how naughty a catholic school girl can be
with your hand on my thigh and a thumb on my cheek.
Kissing me hard and heavy, leaving a bite on my lip with a grunt
smiling while you whip your hair back from your tan skin and brown eyes.
Don't tell me you love the way I look when you don't know me yet.
Cigarette drag me out
breathing smoke behind my ears as you lay your hand
out the window beside your bed,
while my mama's sleeping and doesn't know where I am
and my white blouse is on the chair
hanging next to my purity.
Don't tell me how unholy I've been when you don't know faith.
How it's not worth praying for something I don't have any more,
lost in my own disillusions that you created out of words you swear you left unsaid,
with a tear pressed against the part of me that felt like it was falling in love.
Don't tell me that it's all my fault.
Don't call me your lady
when all I ever wanted was for you
to settle down with me like a safety,
anchor your trust in my belly
made to keep my body warm, but your icy cold.
Don't rip or tear or strike out your own mistakes on my body.
Don't tell me how ****** up innocence is
when all I was before you came was a Mary Jane
shoe with some of the leather worn on the sole from walking
too far to find someone to caress my hair.
Don't leave me open and dry
when all this ever was, was an advantage you took too easily
on an infatuated girl who was too young
and didn't know the difference.
Mar 4, 2013
Mar 4, 2013 at 7:32 PM UTC
IV
These fought in any case,
And some believing, pro domo, in any case ..
Some quick to arm,
some for adventure,
some from fear of weakness,
some from fear of censure,
some for love of slaughter, in imagination,
learning later…
some in fear, learning love of slaughter;
Died some, pro patria, non dulce et non decor..
walked eye-deep in hell
believing in old men's lies, then unbelieving
**came home, home to a lie,
home to many deceits,
home to old lies and new infamy;
usury age-old and age-thick
and liars in public places.**
Daring as never before, wastage as never before.
Young blood and high blood,
Fair cheeks, and fine bodies;
fortitude as never before
frankness as never before,
disillusions as never told in the old days,
hysterias, trench confessions,
laughter out of dead bellies.
from Hugh Selwyn Mauberley
Apr 15, 2015
Apr 15, 2015 at 5:36 AM UTC
A mask of lies disguises my inner thoughts
Accompanied by a black veil which conceals my sorrows
A cage of snakes hold captive everything I ever bought
While ropes of disillusions hold back my tomorrows
Encountering materialistic poisons that plague my existence
With a side dish of infectious bad habits
Offered with a full menu of self-destructive malignance
That are stuffed into my boxed head like voting ballots
Having a desire for unwanted capitulation
Which lead to uncontrollable regrettable decisions
But a light guides me on a path to true elation
With nervousness overcoming my body like a surgeon making his first incision
Darkness becomes light blessed with colorful roses
A flame of love has ignited its route like a traveling circus
Followed by a wandering mind that creatively composes
As life’s symphonic strings are strummed, this writer finds his purpose
Jonathan Pizarro
Copyright 2011 ©
January 29, 2011 2:40am
Feb 20, 2011
Feb 20, 2011 at 9:31 PM UTC
******* my comeuppance.
There's a lot of boring here
Learning new text
Fighting new 'plex
And settling into no other
Life as a smattered painting
Galaxy's attempt at recreation
Correctional institutions of cellular disillusions
Peeing off the side of the golden gate to create a meta golden gate
Ships sail underneath my toxins.
Vulgarity for clarity and cleverness for its sake.
Drown myself in intoxication and say things in it's wake.
Welcome to life post life. Welcome to a lonely impasse. Welcome to a place that God desires, let's hope it will soon pass.
Jul 5, 2014
Jul 5, 2014 at 1:15 PM UTC
Huddling and cuddling I held you so lightly
Do you remember those cold nights my child?
You were mumbling and drooling, and cooed ever so slightly
When I pointed at the moon, you looked up and smiled
“Mooooon!” I said to you, to which you replied,
“Mooo!”
And then I laughed a little - and maybe - I cried
We’d shared an experience so unfathomable in consequence
And by naming it, to you I had lied
Will you forgive me my child, for that cosmic crime?
The moment when I stole that which shone in your eyes
When you echoed my mistakes reverberating in time
But ignorant, I wrapped you, so snugly in those dark skies
Do you remember those cold nights my child?
In this cold night, the moon has lit up full again
Only tonight, our bodies share not this blanket of lights
Disillusioned with disillusions we have become since then
But still I wish to unwrap you from the words I write
My child, I ask you, look up once more,
But let not facticity blindfold your sight
Feel that which language bids you withhold
And play I pray with the rabbit that lives in the sky
Jul 4, 2012
Jul 4, 2012 at 9:33 AM UTC
22/9/15
23:54
And i can feel you slipping away
Away
But never truly leaving.
Could it be that
You still feel for me?
Or am i just lonely
With my disillusions
Its been 3.5 years
And i'm stuck here
With my heart in
Rear
Reverse gears
That wont allow me to crack on
Perverse fears
That wont allow me to move on
Because what if i really could get over you?
And you me?
Would that be something we'd be willing to do?
In order to transgress through life
Separately?
I hope to high hell
We cant
And
We wont
I miss you now more than i've ever missed anyone else
And these memories and thoughts of you are more real than my surroundings
Sep 24, 2015
Sep 24, 2015 at 8:56 PM UTC
I'll take the chair by the corner window
A seating for one and the lonely reserved
the sun bright rays from the outside
and yet it is raining and cold here inside
Let me have a piece of your sweet nothings
and a cup of your bittersweet concoction
Stir it, make it strong, make it potent
To bathe my tongue in your flavorful sorrow
A subtle hint of sweetness from the better days
so little, like this honey in my cup to drink
I ask for more but was denied of supply
None for me or just not for me unfortunately
I ate your sorrows and broken dreams
got drunk in your meaningless lines
Suffered from your inflicted sadness
Got poisoned by your killer disillusions
Feb 17, 2013
Feb 17, 2013 at 6:12 PM UTC
We stood together
On the empty street
Two ghosts
Holding hands
Deafening heartbeats in sync
As our watercolor shadows intertwined into the light.
Jan 5, 2015
Jan 5, 2015 at 11:00 PM UTC
Initially, it was an innocent feeling
A longing to escape treacherous lives.
In one season the seed was sown,
And in another hope was reaped.
Before long, the path to new lands was paved.
Differing thoughts bound by creed,
Met at the river of blood
Parting between Ebony and Ivory.
It was grief that sheltered them.
At home, it was prosperity that was desired.
Love was for Lady Success, yet unrequited.
But amongst the best, the love brought setbacks,
And amongst the worst, it carried envy.
Thus the path to wealth blocked with thorns and thistles.
The seeds sown among the thorns,
Are the peerless seeds.
But disillusions of wealth and pleasure choke them,
Reaping nothing but unfruitful labour.
Feb 8, 2018
Feb 8, 2018 at 3:52 PM UTC
The day of the Dark Horse has ended,misconceptions preordained conventions,child born of transparent illusions,opaque confusions, coded disillusions,confounded conclusions,contradicted conflict-ions,choreographed addictions,but your blessed with constricted restrictions only intended to cause abrupt-ed comb-ructions.
A Judas priest in the least martyr in the West King of the East,yet without The Prince of Peace the em-pending doom at Shanghai noon you though it deep but in the end the Dish ran away with the spoon
alliterations can blend but you know you killed it when ink flows from a pen,continually my itinerary of verbal artillery frees me like the herbal relief of the leaf
at dawn with pipe I take a yawn at life,tired of dreams bewildered at screams why give a **** if you dont know what it means
My banks run over flooded with emotion familiar in detail yet clueless to the notion,my ships at sail without an ocean,beached like a whale depressed i creep like a snail,lots of stories but a fish with no tail....Damn I'm going blind and i cant read Braille,no enemies cause there are no friends,no friends cause i don't want to Fri -in the- end,instilled with distilled fear and wisdom is how we begin,lost in diluted confusions is how most of us end..we hunger for freedom and long a savior though we act like animals we don't judge our behavior,survivors of the night we strive until the light....Celestial Being..80s
Feb 19, 2013
Feb 19, 2013 at 11:53 AM UTC
that truth injected a liquid coal that was
to pulse my veins forever.
pulled back the blinds
and shrouded me in darkness.
extinguished the flames
and charred the place
where I housed our dreams.
Cracking the concrete that lead to our door.
devoured the life
surrounding the perimeter.
engulfed me in a blackness
I won't soon forget.
misled by my own disillusions of who I wanted you to be.
the pages of this fairy tale are blank,
and would better make for kindling.
Rather start new,
or keep warm for that matter,
I chose to walk toward the lake alone.
feet bound by lies
I toss this to the cliffs,
broken with the others at the bottom.
misled by my own disillusion
of who I wanted you to be.
I weakened myself at the knees
and fell to my own imagination.
Dragons and princess,
I sword-struck myself silly.
these scars are not my own.
star-gaze reminiscence
we ALL fall down.
my faith is absent.
I lay the ghost of you down to sleep.
Kiss your forehead and destroy
the reflection of myself
I never wish to see again.
Shrouded, blank, Shrouded, blank.
Feet bound by lies
you hung bleeding water
into a rapidly growing puddle.
I watch the sun set in our
tear stained canvas sky.
-r0
May 3, 2014
May 3, 2014 at 11:18 PM UTC
disillusions of the soul
falsify the truth of the now
so we fall back remembering
lost times where people
met in space and light
that paralleled a greater life
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 9:58 AM UTC
The result of logic and hope
Is akin to the percent of those who make it out the ghetto without getting hooked on dope
Is lowkey a joke
When you're raised at the bottom
You know there's nobody down there just dolling out helping hands
So what else is a victim to do but turn villain and give into society demands
Many try
But if a man can't see a path for his own potential to be fulfilled, how do you expect his faith to survive, let alone thrive?
Life used to be a board game
Now its a socially engineered maze that takes an array of chess moves just to buy-in
And the crime is for certain groups making it out isn't an option so the game becomes rigged with all too familiar conclusions
Young promiscuous masculine ego driven women give babies to young emotional juveniles males who in many cases become convicted men convinced they can be good institutionalized dads all while reaching his now juvenile son from behind that glass
Delusions have some of us thinking we can see the forest from the trees
But as within so without
And so as long as you remain a slave to your thoughts chances are so will your seed
A picture is worth a thousand words
But if EBT and genocide is all these babies see
What else you think they gon' grow up to be?
Apr 17, 2014
Apr 17, 2014 at 10:56 AM UTC
So hard to please, **** I'm on my knees. So speak up let me know what's on that runaway mind of yours, first one to say talk to me but you just stay silent. You are your worst enemy I know first hand so quick to jump to conclusions harbour of your own illusions disillusions. Fill trapped inside of my own pleas just to get you to see....... All of me , but you just don't believe. Why can't you see? Why can't I be enough of what you need? I'm not here to deceave or make believe, You alone is what I conceave of that I really need.
Nov 14, 2013
Nov 14, 2013 at 5:31 PM UTC
Empty clarity and me
a hopeless hermit
among tiny misty mountain peak.
Blazing away to careless dances,
raw disillusions
and looking upward, inward, outward.
Except,
my thoughts are not mine,
my words are not mine.
Are my smiles real?
or fragments of tear.
why am I with me?
dying but never dead.
created but never awake
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 21, 2015 at 6:55 AM UTC
Love hits you when you least expect it.
It comes in a moment when you're not looking or ready for it.
Meeting a stranger in a strange place, in a strange time seems like a fairy tale we've been fed as lies all our lives.
It all starts off innocently enough...
A smile here, a laugh there and a casual touch.
But that innocence doesn't always last and leads to something more.
It just depends on who wanted those moments to last longer.
Love can make you feel all sorts of things, it disillusions you to believe that everything you have with them is real. One moment in time can change everything, just a little look of the eyes can make you feel a thousand things.
Hearing the softness in their voice when they tell you how they feel, can make you catch a disease no one ever wants to feel.
The sweet words that are said that give you a feeling of bliss, soon turn to sweet lies that make you feel as if you don't exist.
Falling in love is oh so easy, the happy moments spent daydreaming of the possibilities.
But the moment those feelings burn to the ground, you finally realise it wasn't worth all the pain you've been feeling after a while inside.
Just like falling in love it hits you hard when you fall out of love, your world comes crashing down around you as ashes that you built with the person you once loved.
Jan 26, 2021
Jan 26, 2021 at 9:15 AM UTC
I was a funeral pyre for there disillusions. All arched in collective
fragmentation of what transpired within the variation of echoes that
collected upon them. Like voices on a beach of shells shattering harmoniously they fell like sheets cleaved from a washing line.
I just looked, my voice rippling across the street of what I was perceiving, they were now not mesmerised by the effigy of
my features but know they fled. Neither walking but unattached
to what was perceived. Their stares blank cavities of nothingness.
Wondering within what could be perceived as a pastel painting,
things where they were meant to be, but!!
Slightly
out of focus, windows were like breath had been woven
within there frame of reflection. Random verses collected then
like a candle they were melting into the mist collecting till nothing.
The focus of my mind was that it wasn't just the images of aged personality woven with the fabric of this place but images of
children in happiness then contorted within what could be perceived
as loneliness. they walked alone hand out like in a needing of
what couldn't be complicity conceived.
Some were against formations of what were perceived as walls,
but looking upon them, more like memories coalescing into tight
collects. Were these the structures of lives lived not formed into
a accumulation of reflections? I bent down to talk to these echoes
of what i perceived as children and they cried memories on my palms.
To Be Continued
May 10, 2017
May 10, 2017 at 6:12 PM UTC