your precious smile,
that never failed to shine;
a heaven-sent beam,
that made my heart your realm.

2. your tenderness,
that gave me bliss;
how could someone be
like you, so dearly?

3. your good vibes,
that surpassed all tribes
in giving off the positivity
i need for my stubborn reality.

4. your talents,
that awakened everyone's hearts;
you are my significant inspiration,
you give life to my life's ambition.

5. your humility,
that's filled with sincerity.
while everyone else is toplofty,
you remained lowly.
not everyone as wonderful as you,
could show meekness too.

6. the happiness you shared,
at times when smiling is something
i never dared;
darling, it meant everything.

7. for your meaningful silence,
that gave me a better comprehension.
although your stillness was tense,
i knew in my heart it was never a rejection.

8. for your music,
that never halts to flourish.
music, your depiction of aesthetic;
through you, the melody will never tarnish.

9. for being your genuine self,
you gave me potency to do the same.
shamming is no longer something i'll play, for you taught me how to
end that witless game.

10. for bringing me daily sunshine,
for setting the moon & the stars aligned;
my everyday became better,
and i will treasure you forever.


there are way more reasons
on why i love you for real.
through the passing seasons
i could slowly & slowly reveal
and show you how i truly feel.
as time passes us by,
i would no longer hesitate
and keep my sentiments ensconced.
through the coming weeks, months and years,
as long as we have all the time
i would dauntlessly lay out to you
that the way i feel for you is true.

A beautiful mountain, white with snow
A light breeze, a wind ice cold
Frozen in time, I stare in awe
Under ice is a heart so raw
Diamonds glistening, ice shimmering
An imbalance of time and minds dancing
Beauty and despair frozen in ice
Waiting for summer sun to pay the price
Still and quiet, but the pain screams in your head
Frozen in place beside your bed
Staring into the pains
A hundred rocks flow through your veins
A thousand needles biting skin
Outward calm, but screaming within
Summer warmth approaching
Ice slowly melting, diamonds gleaming
With perseverance you break the ice
It falls, shattering, what a sacrifice
I watch as there is nothing I can do
As your body shed the ice encasing you
It is beauty and despair, intertwined
Dripping to the floor, Oh how I adore
To watch you come alive. An uproar!
No longer frozen, full of motion
As if watching a glistening ocean
You stand tall, high above us all
For you melted the ice, made it fall
Leaving only a memory
Your fight so strong, dauntlessly
Standing, living, believing, and yet...
Your feet are wet, so with regret
I must inform of icy returns
Gone are the days of summer sunburns
For ice will come, it will be done
Your body shunned from our warm sun
You will freeze again, be lost again
Icy diamonds will shine like back then
You must remain strong while waiting,
Frozen in time that is crippling
Shed your ice everyday, overcome
One day Summer will stay and all this will be done

We chose the same path to take,
Grab the chance to make a change.
Maybe its destiny that led us here, right now, in this holy ground.
"Be brave" you said, that's what i read in your mouth.
I chose this to find myself,
live my life and be free,
but you came unexpectedly.
you were too good to be true,
and i never thought my journey could be better till i met you.
We found each other and i found my meaning in you, with every touch and kiss, its like flower spring bloom and sweet gentle bliss.
"I love you", its as easy to say than do,
but I'll prove to you,
I'll fight for us
till dawn to dew.
We're one and proud.
Our love stands strong.
its carved in our hearts that we belong.
I am yours and you are mine,
it's written in stars and stained in the hands of time.
I'll ride the train with you, even if it never stops,
even if its spinning in circles or countless tracks.
baby hold on tight,
we'll travel through the night;
through deep seas and starry skies
find life where our heart lies.
I know we're the only ones who can mend each other
it might take time so lets start with forever.
I'll protect you, fight for you, don't you worry;
cause i was born to love you dauntlessly.

Across the sky, dauntlessly, watching,
Shoes in cigarette stems while I
Wonder what flight's like.
Would I transition softly with the means?
Wingspan cutting resistance leaving me freedom
to fall, or better, to land when I see
earth worth tasting in the air around
mirrors in sanctuary.

Across the ground, dauntlessly, watching,
Shoes in cigarette stems while I
Observe my life like
Stone in the wind, steady as the leaves blow
Leading and closing the shows before and after
to end, like weather, and begin again
Forces to withstand time while I walk
sit, or lie where I go

What it looks like
What it is
Ends and means,
unanswered wishes
What it looks like
What it is
Ends and means
within reach will I take,
Palms wide open

Accept the flaws in myself,
lasso the breadth
of my errors
with no regret.

I believe there's a switch
where the matter
lives in a state
of yes or no.

Commit to the wind in word,
I won't wrestle
control from
anyone but me,
and my worst self.

Empathy on high,
Sympathy on low,
Compassion on,
for transparency.
Compassion off,
for sympathy play.

I am not a means,
I am a world.

My worth
is not measured
in the weight
of my faith in
and the care I take
of others.

Your letter came
Did I not tell you?
It's not as if
I've housed it
(little treasure)
In the pockets of my jeans
Or as if I pull it out
All the time
Because then it'd surely
Have been aged by my eyes
Which dauntlessly would
Explore the vast landscapes of your words
And, in each one it meets,
See everything you do
And feel
Surely if this were true
It would've been softened
Into tissue paper
By edacious fingers
Who can't help themselves
Because they think they're
Touching you

She stands on the sandy beach
Her hands shake; she’s afraid
She steels herself with a breath
And into the ocean she starts to wade

Her brother jumps in, dauntlessly
“The sharks will get you!” he jokes
She ignores him, she knows the truth.
Sharks don’t attack unprovoked

She stares at the endless blue
Who knows what really lies beneath?
She walks with slow, hesitant steps
Into the ocean till she’s in waist deep

A brush against her leg, she jumps,
Shrieks and falls under,
A giant wave hits the beach,
She sits up and looks in wonder

On the ocean floor, a starfish sleeps
Its fins moves, she’s fascinated
A crab goes by with its sideways gait,
By the busy shore, she’s captivated

Tiny coloured gems shine on the beach
As if just waiting to be discovered
Shells of all shapes and sizes,
Waiting to be kept and treasured.

A small wave splashes her gently,
Sand and salt water everywhere,
Nothing to be scared of; she decides
She’s found her perfect spot right there.

No need to go any further
Into the ocean; into the unknown
Her friends make sandcastles nearby,
And she sits there happily, on her own.

I wanna be able to unleash you
dauntlessly.
Because I trust that you will return back home
to me.

She painfully stares and achingly gazes deep into the emotionless eyes she has never gotten use to no matter the intensifying years she has cowered under. The angelic smile graced upon her lips frowned into a languishing glower as she hears those melancholy scowls scrape out of that precious voice of yours. Her disappointed expression increases as your desperate urge for any type of detrimental reaction given off from the girl you claim as a meaningless soul, undeserving for the commendable respect you rarely bestow upon others. She lets her tears and her worries for you fall free as the aching and coldness of your heart evoked a tremor within the chasm of her abdomen. She argues and she begs for yourself to be disengaged from that fabricated character you have devoted yourself to be as the more aggressive punches and afflicting kicks are thrown onto her, causing greatly aggrandized worry and doubt to enter her mind. You’re consummate and jubilant days instantaneously flipped onto dark and lugubrious lifestyle, disowning as destroying your own inestimable life, only cumulating it much more powerfully. She screams and shouts, forcefully advocating the torment you have horrifically rendered to, horridly allowing the agony to tear through the apprehensive of her benevolence as your congenial laughter antipathetically snapped into one of your fallacious growls, attempting to intimidate her happiness, hoping for her contentment to vanquish in mid air. She does all of this, all over again, all stronger and harder than ever before, and all for one last time. Anger and frustration fuels in her veins, the gruesome expression stuck to your face sickening her, shaking her head in disgust. She puts aside the repulsive torment given to her by your own repulsive hands, replacing the ringing of insults and profanity unhesitatingly escaping the once innocent mouth of yours into a deep and miserable concern for your once prized anima. She does this all one last time, pointlessly hoping for a once in a lifetime miracle to occur. Her optimism and determination drives her adrenaline insane as the last sobs propel out of her throat. Every method has been used and repeated, each and every one has been desperately thrown to you with acrimony and exasperation furiously blasted within the hazardous mixture. Her courage dauntlessly roars as she holds her head high for the first time in eons, aggressively shoving you aside, clenching her fists as you potently stumble to the ground. She shrieks and she wails out all of the years kept flinching from the abhorrent tone in your voice and mewling down on the ground out of her system, leaving you to whimper as she wails her impetuous yet venturesome thoughts out, growling you to duck behind your face, fear and guilt forming in the pits of your stomach. Not one conclusion is left unsaid, and not one suggestion and avail is left cooped up in her brain. Every single retreat she'd always longed to respond is now out in the open for you to hear. Nothing is left implied as she finally walks out on the dismal of what you may call an existence, starting a new life as the last one of her blubbering's are fallen, and the final of her words are spoken. Her sigh breathlessly leaves as a deep involuntarily moan fleets out of her mouth, breathing in the new sight of the free air she'd never been allowed to see, only dreamt of the exemption of exerting from the trap she'd ruthlessly been obliged upon. Releasing herself from the punishment of concealment demoniacally lavished onto her, the once little pathetic and worthless girl bawling her eyes out to sleep is no more as the new confident and obstinate self embraces the atmosphere around her, spreading her power among the distance as she walks away from the cruel life extemporaneous for her. A genuine smile, one not embellished upon her lips for quite a while adorned to her mouth, completing the gratified glint in the sparkles of her eyes.  The throes and torture are no more, and the distressful past once drearily presented is once again, blissfully no more.

This is the first time you’ve ever talked to me after 17 years. So a resounding “*******” is probably in order.
2. You calling me buddy, calling me son, calling me in general ****** me off so much I don’t think you understand.
3. Yes you’re in prison, but why in the hell would I wanna see you there? I can’t punch you while you’re in prison.
4. You say you look like Jim Morrison, which really grinds my gears because I used to like Jim Morrison.
5. You giggled, saying that you needed to stay out of trouble, that’s ironic, I was raised to believe you were trouble. Like if I opened a dictionary, the definition would clearly read: “ Trouble: Your Dad”
6. I’ve written countless letters, dauntlessly imagined speaking to you, but it isn’t true until you are in front of me. I’m...Paralyzed as though the world has utterly managed to flip.
7. Hearing your voice already disgusts me
8. I don’t think you understand the amount of venom i’ve had spit into my veins, the amount of toxin, the evolution and evaporation I’ve undergone.
9. I’m not a mans man, maybe you can’t accept that.
10. I didn’t say much, but now I wish i had, and I think perhaps if I had tried, the message wouldn't be able to escape my mouth, like a woodpecker your existence poked at my brain, picked me apart, and...I love you dad...

in melancholic countenance
i gaze at the icon with impatience
me staring back at me in the mirror
wishing i had been sincerer
terse adage philosophy ring in my
mind
am caught between two stools stay or
hide,
guilt gnaws my conscience
nibbling away my mask of innocence
having made my bed i now had to lay
on it
tardy it was when i comprehended
having stature didn't requisitely
mean
my age was more propounded than my
dad's
but here i am today yowling over
spilled milk
growing up beneath my parent's
shadow
familiarity had sired contempt
and the spirit of adventure had me
convinced
the grass is invariably greener on the
other side of knoll
precipitately i plunged into the mucks
of this world
ceasing to recall the wise had
muttered
you can't fabricate bricks in omission
of straw
all i reflected was that fortunes
favors the bold
dauntlessly i ventured and swayed
away from morals
the world bountifully vouchsafed into
my disposal
bird who had corresponding feather
and together we flocked
as the hungry earth swallowed us in
it's pleasures
a fool i was to test the depth of water
with both feet
after the foolish ordeals remorse
ensued
i had the will to change and a way
could be found
i decided not to look at where i fell
but where i slipped
since i never wished to be that
simpleton
who gained ascertainment when
players dispersed
i couldn't dawdle no more or else
i would miss the water long after the
well dried
i became the squeaky wheel and sure
enough i was greased
though i plundered my life penitence
is not a solution
because you cant make an omellete
without breaking
a few eggs
sometimes going gets tough but tough
gets going
i learnt that
between the devil and the deep sea
discretion
is the best part of valor...
i live with the knowledge of the wise
men
illuminating my ways and checking on
my morals

Our bond formed by fate can never be broken because with each rising sun you enter my dawdling mind and my heart begins to quaver like the birds of freedom
Too soon, the sunlight glitters
As the dawn turns to gray to gold
Her 'i love you' came leisurely
Like the monsoon pouring down on a cracked roof
There are fondness songs in her eyes singing lullabies
When she hover pin me down with her stare
There are love poems on the tip of her tongue
I taste while kissing her
There are good vibes that surpassed all tribes in giving off the positivity i need for my stubborn reality
For her meaningful silence
That gave me better comprehensions
I would dauntlessly lay out to her
That the way i feel for her
They say drowning is bad, but how about
Drowning in love?
I want to swim in the deepest parts of her soul
Above all powers off i float
Higher than all earthly treasure
To a kingdom without measure
Above all myths made stone
Vast than every regal throne
Wild night's that last through dawn
Rocking and rolling out in my lawn
She wraps one around in the cadence of her voice, like old songs one had forgotten about
I' am feeling the rhythm and melody of her sway
Divine ecstasy in pleasures
I am feeling so sublime.

My only love after ages
I will run my fingers over your every scar and ask where each one came from
Our bond formed by fate can never be broken because with each rising sun you enter my dawdling mind and my heart begins to quaver like the birds of freedom
Too soon, the sunlight glitters
As the dawn turns to gray to gold
Her 'i love you' came leisurely
Like the monsoon pouring down on a cracked roof
There are fondness songs in her eyes singing lullabies
When she hover pin me down with her stare
There are love poems on the tip of her tongue
I taste while kissing her
There are good vibes that surpassed all tribes in giving off the positivity i need for my stubborn reality
For her meaningful silence
That gave me better comprehensions
I would dauntlessly lay out to her
That the way i feel for her
They say drowning is bad, but how about
Drowning in love?
I want to swim in the deepest parts of her soul
Above all powers off i float
Higher than all earthly treasure
To a kingdom without measure
Above all myths made stone
Vast than every regal throne
Wild night's that last through dawn
Rocking and rolling out in my lawn
She wraps one around in the cadence of her voice, like old songs one had forgotten about
I' am feeling the rhythm and melody of her sway
Divine ecstasy in pleasures
I am feeling so sublime.
I promise to spend the rest of my life by your side, to laugh with you, cry with you, to believe in you and support you. Together we are better than we could ever hope to be alone.
You literally mean the world to me and I love you beyond belief. You make me so happy every day. I can’t believe that we’ve come so far and it makes me feel so grateful having you by my side all the time. I miss you when you’re not with me and appreciate everything that you do for me. All the memories we’ve made so far have been so fun and i hope there are many more to come.
Your love taught me. 
How love changes the map of time, 
It taught me that when I love… 
The earth stops spinning.
Loving you is not only my passion,
But it has also become my sole creed,
Yes it is my unfailing duty, darling
Loving you is like finally be safe and warm
After a snow storm

I went to the seaside in the early morning;
Rain cried heavily on the wet sand,
Leaving my footprints as an anchor with my real life.
I observed the murky mist covering the surface of the sea,
While the white gulls swarming upon the sea;
I stood rooted to the wet sand motionless,
Staring at the angry waves profoundly;
It seemed like my whole life was described in those waves,
Each wave had a deep notion to declare.
A wave of mistrust, betrayal, detest;
Infinite waves kept moving nearer to me,
And I kept trying to move forward dauntlessly
To overcome all the hurdles and worriments.

Once upon a time. Very, very long ago
I saw this faint, distant light
Without direction, I decided to follow
Trudging forward, it growing ever more bright

Years and years I dauntlessly traveled
Always directed into it's glow
Time broke down and eventually unraveled
As I steered myself into this luminescent show

Engulfed in radiant splendor
I realized I was finally there
A warmth so tender
I surrendered to it's care

I lived here forever
Maybe even longer
Was there a time before? Probably never.
It's embrace grows stronger

All at once or maybe little by little
I can't say, eternities were like hours
But what once was a torrent became a trickle
A chill encroached upon the light's unfathomable powers

I was only a visitor here, welcome to stay
To recover my strength and heal my weariness
But the moment has come, that dreaded day
To venture forth from the light into dreariness

To steel me for my quest was the light's intent
Alone to soldier forward into endless black
Waves of unreadiness wash over me, by myself I went
To never see the light again, no turning back

This is where I am now or have I always been?
Cold, alone, afraid with nothing to see
Am I awake or asleep? Sometimes I think I dream
Of an idea of a time before the void's uncertainty

It's hard to comprehend and harder each time
To think of anything existing besides the nothing and me.
I am slipping, terminally.
Soon there will only be nothing. No more me or dream of mine.

I am nothing and I have always been. Infinite emptiness, eternally.

As long as the arrow is still airborne,
The sky shall be vehemently torn.

There are shockwaves you have yet to create,
And a life to live without you degrading hate.

Carried by the wind far flown
You are the phantasmal flying kite;
Your path shall not be blown,
And I will hold your string tight.

Dauntlessly, night after night.

despite being prescribed glycopyrrolate.

Though the angst riddled psyche of mine crafted youth, long since receded, ebbed in the past, infringement, impingement, and indecent wracking wrath of mental illness, that even as a middle aged mwm of lxiv bold faced roam min times, I can acclimatize, characterize, empathize, harmonize, italicize, and massage sympathy for prevailing physiological symptoms of  =>

Sweaty Palms
an ur...bane curse
worse than mega death
aggravating enough fo' me
to resort *** take or ****
speed dilly, and then not
getting ticked off watching Seth
Thomas - thee clock man
ewe fact chore er, and his hands
incrementally inch to...
regarding the aforementioned
relentless frenzied state.

No idea when the chronic onset
of sweaty palms first burst forth
upon thy totally tubular
handsome grooves that criss cross
the flat skin surface of my hands.

These lines called 'palmar flexion creases'
develop before birth.

This modern day bipedal hominid i.e. human
primate attests (like the average person)
two main lines across the palm,
but some have a single 'Simian crease'.

Profuse outpouring of perspiration
(as if Biblical Flood gates opened)
oft times directly related to adrenaline
coursing through every pore
sans the underside of my hands)
reflexively followed by swiping
said clamminess (in vein)
on clothing or woolen pocket size cloth
brought along with me everywhere I go
(cuz a lamb might not part ways with mother
Mary (of story book fame),
and this chap would shear lee feel sheepish
toting extremely cumbersome
to tote in the event this intimation
predicated on decades worth of experience,

when in the throes potential
such ordinary action strongly shaking,
grasping or holding hands took place
occurred sopping wet
clangorous human clapper,
(which frenzied trickling akin
to a vicious feedback loop),
my psyche feels under staccato
rat-a-tat siege from an
unknown invisible enemy),
the natural inclination
to withdraw myself
from bad company of others helps
stave of self-consciousness.

This avoidance of socialization
subsequently impedes any promotion
of a hankering viz genuine friendship,
employment and desiring carefree
bona fide affectionate
bonding with family of origin and/or
thy two precious progeny.

Understandable per the human reaction
to shrink away and recoil quickly
when pressed to touch
what feels like a wet noodle.

Ah…courtesy of Google
I now know sweaty palms sports
a dignified name known as palmar
Hyperhidrosis.

Here all along (meaning the majority
of my LXIV chronological
hash tagged buzz feeding
orbitz around the sun)
this plague constitutes
a bona fide medical condition.

Also reassuring to realize,
this generic guy need not
count himself alone
in the sopping wet wilderness re: this plague.

Such problematic health condition
impacts, comprises, and affects
one to two percent of the world’s population.

One Doctor Rafael Riesfeld
purportedly knuckles down
and makes hand over fist handsome income.

Will power alone seems
a dauntlessly futile endeavor
to rid oneself of this disruptive condition.

Try as one might to put a lockdown
on the propensity for sweat glands
(synonymous with the term eccrine)
are pack within sub surfaces of
hands, forehead and feet.

As linkedin to the sympathetic  
nervous system, the body electric
under stress activates said glands.

Profuse moisture dripping
like a faulty faucet
severely affected everyday activities
of my existence since a young adult.

Frustration to complete a simple task
such as opening a doorknob,
using the laptop, and even writing
concomitantly associated
with droplets of water soiling  
green sleeves to appear near saturated.

Without fail interpersonal ambitions
hi-jacked when wet as a dishrag hands
found me disinclined
to experience social rejection.

Though sprung from overactive
predisposition to anxiety, these secret
tory organs get exacerbated
with the honorable privilege of
being gifted with panic attacks,
offers little consolation.

your prospective clammy handy dandy
blues clues budding friend
where chocolate candy
melts in my hands not my mouth.