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777
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
777
Today is a day to celebrate, not to be taken as a given
 Nor take for granted the gift of this our mortal life
  To praise which is to pass from here onto life eternal
   Don’t you know? It’s a mother who forms the endless circle
    Where the circle begins and the circle should end
     She opens a door with a key held only by her hands
      Calling upon angels of heaven to grant her a soul
       She has known me from before the first kingdom
        When the Father brought light to our existence
         Even then, she knew my flaws to their very essence
          She welcomed me without an ounce fear or reservation
           In humility, in obedience to the Father, in loving kindness
            By our Creator’s love, by mother’s choosing, her bravery
Today is her day
                                                                ­                         My mother’s day
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
The state of things
It’s a crisis
The shame it brings
It’s a crisis
Isolation
It’s a crisis
Mass hysteria
It’s a crisis
Senseless dying
It’s a crisis
Divided nations
It’s a crisis
Spreading virus
It’s a crisis
But the rivers are flowing
Clear. The trees are growing
Years of filth walking astray
Birds are singing
Voices ringing
Through sacred skies of blue and grey
The blind now see the sun rays shining
The worst of times have silver linings
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
She waited my table at a dive joint
I noticed her first when I came in
Whatever my type of woman is
She was it

Not wearing any make up
She had nothing to hide
She grabbed me by the ear
She had me

She was either sculpted by
The Gods, or by Buonarroti
Or earth-shaking love making
There she was

I slowly drank in all her features
And stylish clothes she wore
Scanning her from her head down
I found it

Of the gems she was adorned with
The one that struck me most
Was one on her left hand
Ring finger

I didn't envy the man too much
In fact, I took it as a challenge
I could tell by her grin
She was wicked
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
He handed out love
Like it was an object
In a gift-wrapped box
With gift receipt taped on
After few times use
They went to the store
They got a full refund
He never got back
What he freely gave

I’m still young
He thought
I’m just enjoying life
He thought
I really care about those women
He thought
I’m being honest about my feelings
He thought
I’ll find the right one this way
He thought
Twenty-eight women later

He was more degraded
Than ever before
The number wasn’t impressive
He certainly wasn’t proud
He’d rather it roll back
To zero or maybe one or two
At the most. Only those few
First cuts who left their mark
Were still on his mind from
Time to time or all the time
Depending on how honest
He was on that particular day
He’s a suicide case
He feels sick to his stomach
Unsteady, faint, vertigo
He falls - falls - has fallen
He feels a hand at his neck
His chest tight like a rope
Was wrapped around it
Tied to a pick up truck
And drove forwards at full speed
Clutching him ever tighter
His breath sapped from his lungs
“I only want to be a better man
A better man than I am
To live and not to fear
To thrive on happiness
Not fall into the same old trap
Of mortal hungers”
These words loop in his head
Like a broken record
Light fades from his eyes
A ringing floods his ears
Like the dial-tone of an old phone
Left hanging on the cord
When a call is long over
The choice is his to try again
His alone
Either to live on
- or -
To die a lump on the stone cold floor
He starts to cry
He’s full of fear
- but -
No one’s half as anxious as the crowd
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
no one cares if
they live or die
skin, body, spirit
Grinding, Sweating
away the hours
the years of their lives
to live in a ****** place
get drunk, get ******
procreate further minions
to carry on tradition
of assembly-line-like
existence.
there must be something
something to believe in
more to this our mortal life
than the morning commute
the eight-hour-blur
the drive home
falling into a chair
in a room you can't afford
to watch mind control
media, bureaucracy, drudgery
there must be something
a better way to be
on planet earth
the planet is a wonder
the people I like
but not what we do
what we have done
for years on end.
give us something
anything - to believe in
no more nihilism
no more consumerism
no more shackles of debt
when the plague is over
give me the green fields
in the foothills
in the small towns
give me the summer
sidewalks in the city
give us all easy living
like when they talk about
summer of sixty-nine.
give each of my poor friends
a home to call their own
show the people mercy
give the folks who cannot
take care of themselves
the Haven they deserve
and care from all of us.
nobody
no one
not a soul
should have to spend
everything in them
just to get by.
we all just want to make it.
is that too much to ask?
© Velvel Ben David 2020
Fly
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
Fly
The vigor I took to flight
Fails to make a landing
Then flies away from me
I see it flapping its wings
And laughing in my face
Like a school ground bully
Laughing at the pretty boys
So shamefully faking
A mad ruthlessness
With no cause or call to act
Their juvenile jealousy
Is invisible only to they - them
For who wouldn't want to fly?
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
I hope I never go back
Knowing I will have to anyway
It smelled like a welfare office
Like stale *** smoke
Like old cigarette butts
Like mildew stained clothes
It was a “scent free zone”
So said the sign on the wall
But I’m telling you
There was a lot of scent in there
For a place not meant to stink
Probably because it was
After all, a welfare office
Where you take your number
Off the roll at the door
While bureaucrats take their time
Wait till you can’t sit
To have them tell you
“The forms are all online.
You apply on the computer.
There’s nothing I can do.”
At one time, it was an insult
To tell someone their job
Could be replaced by a computer
But now it’s happening
It’s no longer a ridiculous statement
It’s not even funny anymore
That the livelihood of humans
Depends on machines
The days they call you to their desk
To tell you - you have a cheque
Those are the good days
When the sun holds still awhile
To let you feel its warmth
A short-lived sigh of relief
That’s as good as it gets
When the people who hold
Every dollar you own
Are loyally subject to machines
You’re on a fixed income
As the saying goes
But too small an income to ‘fix’ jack all
You can swallow your pride
But the guilt keeps coming back
I must have looked terrified
In the security camera footage
Life is a garden
But it smells
like a welfare office
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
I was born to carry stones
I was hatched in hospital by ****-poor parents
In the country my grandparents fled to for refuge
I can never stay in one place;
I said “home is but an imaginary space above the cloud.
The universe is only a projection of the mind.”
But, what is home? I wondered
I questioned whether I had been there
But I knew I had seen many others there
While they sit down drinking their favourite drinks
Or chewing and swallowing their preferred meals
As they walk street themselves or in droves
Home
Walking stark naked down the hallways
Quiet echoing in the walls always
Lest I want to make some racket
No one there can dare to stop me
The pictures I like hang on the walls
The records I buy stacked in crates
Spun as often or as rarely as I like
I throw a fit of rage or cry
In sadness or confusion or pure elation
No evil minions there to eat my bread
The plants I planted are in the garden
Just the way I rooted them to earth
In a manner pleasing to me only
It’s my obsessive/possessive nature
It's broken but at least it's mine
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
(No. 3)
I spent the evening
At Brother Ballantyne's
With the man himself
On Darius' Ranch, just past
The lime-green street sign
Which read "Nowhereville"
The best place to be
Nowhere whatever
I sat down with faces
A bit familiar to me but
Their names unimportant
"I like your friends" I said
"But what sets us apart is-
We ask all the questions."
We listened to Ugly Casanova
Painted like Picasso
In conversation as we sat
Smoked Cohiba Maduro 5 cigars
Drank fiery juice until
We were out of our heads
Wearing house slippers
& a false fur jacket
Which drew too many questions
Got too many laughs
But I have to admit, I liked
- the attention -
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
She came from a broken home
She moved to New York to become an editor
He fled Belfast City to make his way as a fighter
After his brother was blown up in a car bombing
It was summertime when the ocean breeze
Climbs up the hills, flows through the fields into the trees.
He could see the harbour. He could see the city lights
The tall buildings, the millions of people
He was alone, lonely, alien, afraid.
Their paths intersected by mere chance
By the ball fields on the edge of town
Their eyes met each other
As a summer storm blew in over the field
The grey clouds rumbled
And rained down on them
They ran into the trees for cover
In their scant summer clothes.
Their heads turned slowly as their eyes met for a second time
The laughter started when he said the rain ruined his haircut
They embraced
They kissed
They made love in the rain
She took him back to her place and did it all over again
He moved into her apartment on the ugly side of town
They would talk about the state of things
The pandemics, the hysteria, the great writers
The music, the people they hated, the people they loved
They were at home with each other
One day he woke up to find
She had gone
And not left a single thing behind
No note, not even a goodbye
He never fought another fight
He drove around town for days chain smoking cigars
The ones she hated the smell of but told him he looked
He looked like a movie star when he smoked them
He went to the undertaker and asked if they did walk-ins.
He drove up the mountain
Where people dumped their garbage
He looked down the cliff to see the unwanted refuse.
“That’s me.” he said.
His body was never found
The undefeated fighter met his match.
She delivered the knockout punch.
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
A lifetime is short
But a minute
is a very long time
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
Life isn't sad
It's just the way things go
It's all you've ever had
& all you'll ever know

Believe for believing
Whether truth or lie
If life's not for living
Then life is to die
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
There is a heart
beating in my chest
singing louder than Pavarotti
soaring with the high notes
There is a heart
beating in my chest
young as the day I was born
I see my young face smiling
a glow of childlike innocence
The child within my soul
lives on in every heartbeat
waiting for me to open the cage
let him free once more
There is a heart
beating in my chest
ready to set the world alight
I hope to meet him again
One day
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
You say your life is over but it’s only just begun
Didn’t think you’d make it past the age of twenty-one
No guarantee tomorrow day will bring another sun
You can’t see what’s in front of you, you can’t see what’s behind
Clear your eyes, I’m standing right before you
Let the moment fill you for a little while
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
Thank God for a good kick in the ***
It's what reminds me life is precious
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
I was hatched upon this earth
A day before all time
I was made to toll the earth
For all of humankind
Watched all the centuries
Of horrid humankind
And now I seek satisfaction
To ease my wasted mind

The seventh born son of God
The glory to be mine
I was called but chosen not
Nor were the glory mine
Cast out of heaven
With a third the lot of man
Cast out of heaven
By my own dear father's hand
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
Close your eyes while I build you castle
Made of stones blue and white
From the green grass floor to the top of the sky
Where bluebirds sing to you sweet and high
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
Courage
Conceding I'm like the scared -
- Scared child
In the dark
Calling out for its mother
Accepting she isn't there
The soul I was given
Was made to bear
I offer up a prayer
For mercy mild
For a spark
And then another
And knowing
I can bear the world
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
The silence sang to me like no song could.
I stooped. I was half alive, I was alone, I was searching for relaxation.
I was looking for freedom from the nervous, shaking bundle of stick my body had to offer me.
But that’s alright, I tell myself. There’s no use being indignant.
“Your grandfather’s died” I heard through the phone.
I grieved him years before his passing.

Relief came over me as I awaited grief in silence.

What was more alarming was the manic girl in the corner with burn marks up her arms running treadmill, spinning bike pedals faster than light, with no care for how she exhausted herself.
The slap of her feet hitting the floor and her gasping.

More alarming yet was the woman in blue hospital pajamas chanting in a yell “nurse, nurse!” all day and night, after she had beaten her head senseless against a steel wall. I grieve her loss of cognitive choice

I had no time to prepare to grieve either the manic girl or the woman in blue.
In loss and in love, grieving is a process that starts from the beginning and can carry on past the end.

I can choose to endure.
Pain has neither the choice to cease nor exist.

Pain is stronger than me because pain doesn’t wince at the sight of me. My grandfather’s strength lives beyond the grave.
I won’t grieve what carries on.

The silence sang to me like no song could.
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
At the sin bin
***** windows
Hold the freaks in
Vacant eyes
Conversation
Strange expression
Dark and dimly
Lit the aura
In its sad eyes
Sick and tired
Always sleeping
Ever dire

Hiding away
As the rains run high
Lock me away
No more to run from my mind

In the courtyard
Cobblestones (and)
Brick and mortar
Water falling
To the stone floor
From the brick walls
Trees that darken
Leaves have fallen
To the cold stone
Wilting flowers
Frowning further
With the hour

I’m locked away
As the clouds blow by
Hiding away
No more to run from my mind
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
It was a night of manic dreams and
Ear shattering ringers from smoking cigars
Beyond counting.
I thought puffing one would bring me
Sunshine
It dumped me in a hole.
I never stay in one place long enough
To take care of what needs taking care of.
On the hustle from one cloud to the next.
Happiness flooding my veins
Till I can’t take any more of it
Then I spend days in a freezing cold bed
A house that isn’t mine
Stuck in a hole
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
All the people and all the crazy sounds
Are telling to me to sit me down
But they don't know I'm living six feet under
The singer sings his final song
The story ends before too long
But the crowd don't know he'll never sing another

The sadly spoken walks the streets
Waiting for his fate to meet
He surely knows he soon will be forgotten
He looks for a space to fit right in
Not knowing where he should begin
He's looking for a small sense of belonging

To hear the young ones laugh and sing
It ought to make him feel something
But their song and laughter only sends him reeling
And all the smiling passersby suppose
He must be alright if his doors are closed
Don't you know death too is for the living?
A lyric poem and song.
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
She takes you to the forest
Where you climb the swaying trees
She speaks to you as softly as
The gentle blowing breeze

She waits flustered by the ocean
You run hurried down to meet her
You try so hard to ask that question
You know you want to ask her
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
In the courtyard
No birds, no bees, no beasts, no life
Dying flowers, dying plants, dying trees, thinning air
Red brick on crooked cobblestones on a poor foundation
Crummy TV showing bunk shows for people with free time
Scratched vinyl floors with water stains breaking apart
Seats taken by empty frames with empty minds
I’m waiting on friends who don’t know their way
If they don’t arrive, the day will remain the same
Nothing
Sitting
Drowning in the grey
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
Locked behind the door
Of glass, I sweep the floor
With my broken shoes
The morning's news
Is no news at all
My father on the wall
Ghosts are in the hall

I wish I was
Somewhere else
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
When a good thing comes your way
Your foes will turn to watch the rain
Velvel Ben David Apr 2020
I couldn’t sleep.
My brain shivered when I moved my eyes.
I felt invincible
“Invincible” fails to describe it.
Then I was a cockroach
Crawling like a little bug
My head missing each obstacle
Just enough to feel them
Brush their matter against me
Blowing a rush of air back at me
Warning me my choices are crucial.
Cutting it close to the end
But - I don’t mind it.
-I’d be a liar if I said
I didn’t like it this way-
Some fear the discomfort called the unknown.
I welcome it with open arms
A gift in each hand.
As long as it never bores me.
Life must never be boring.
Fear is inevitable
It is always present
My greatest weakness.

Life is not the time to find your purpose
It is the time to create it

— The End —