brain zaps, brain fog
welcome to Zoloft
refill your script
before you decide to quit
this pill comes with a cost
it's not that easy
to taper off
this illness is not visible
one might say it's despicable
the pill that can make things bearable
everyday at the same time
remember it's no cure
it can help
and that can be worth
SSRI's Zoloft (sertraline)
Look I'm awake!
I used no alarm!
Not torpid, no despair,
Pill worked like a charm!
I've been mentally marinating,
In a cerebral stew.
Truly amazed by
This chemical brew.
- Shoutout to Zoloft
Starry nights cause
hopeless flights which
my bottle of Zoloft dislikes.
Tiny euphoria, relax like the world is made of all the good things. And how I wish to bottle the moment of his,and when he realizes that not everything is made of twinkling lights and all his favorite things, I'll grab him and hold him closer, protect his heart from all his heartaches. But for now I revel in the thought of the moment when he was blanketed with tiny euphoria.
Three days ago I started a journey of self help.
I started a journey of discovery
And, I'm not ready.
Three days ago I began taking anti-depressants.
Three days ago I stopped sleeping through the night.
Three days ago I got migraines that made me want to empty my stomach.
Three days ago I started a journey.
Because I can't deal with myself.
I can't deal with rejection and the pressures of day to day life.
I can't deal with the ideals and standards of other people.
I can't deal with the judgment.
I can't deal with the ***** looks.
I scrub my skin raw when I think of the look she gave me.
The mother of the man I love.
The man I adore.
Her eyes pierced through me.
And no matter what, a wound will be there.
Zoloft is not a quick fix.
It is a gateway to a way that I might be sane.
Maybe it will work.
I can wish on a hundred thousand stars of things I need.
But this world only gives me the things I don't need.
I don't need the constant reminder that I am failing my body.
I don't need to be told I am mean.
I don't need to be told that I cause misery.
I don't need to be told that I'm making the wrong the choices in my relationship.
I don't need to be reminded that I am unwelcome, because you are close minded.
When I feel all those things I remember a younger me.
A me that was searching for something.
I tried everything.
But there are some things that even He can't fix.
I was told growing up that depression wasn't real.
Well honey, it's all...right...here.
I am blamed by something I can't control.
How would that make you feel?
Three days ago I started a journey that I should have never stopped.
Three days ago I decided to do this for me.
Three days ago I started the search for a little girl who hoped and dreamed.
Three days ago I started the journey to regain my joy.
Three days ago I started something.
Just for me.
You took Zoloft.
It killed your ability to ******.
You were stubborn, though.
So I had to.
Your couch was disgusting.
Your ******* on my skin
Was even worse.
Another one taken down
The bottle’s about empty
The bottle shouldn’t be empty
I just got it today..
But these pills should’ve killed me today
Why am I awake?
Is God shielding me from my grave?
I’ve already carved my name and the date
But my soul won’t succumb to the power of self-hate
Now I’m stuck in this body
Look at me, I’m just a nobody
Without any hobbies of meaning
Or purpose to change the world
I wanna talk to a girl, but they constantly think I’m scheming
I lied to my ex about feelings I wasn’t feeling
I’m a pathological liar still wanting you to believe me
I love you, you believe me?
Of course not
Plunge the scythe in my chest, watch my corpse rot
Figuratively of course, I’m still alive
To my surprise, can’t count how many times I could’ve died
In my terms, should’ve died
My wrist resembles cracks on the sidewalk
Carnal are my thoughts
Such a ticking time bomb
Thank god for my mom
Otherwise, I’d be just another guy
Solidifying no significant presence in this present time
But I’m rambling, enough confessin’
Please leave now
I need to take these anti-depressants
— The End —