Why do we struggle against life
fight in opposition to time
we all know we cannot win
Time, no matter how we perceive
always passes
and life
well,
is only our idea.
We still struggle
our combative minds focused
on trying to win
an unwinnable battle.

Although....
is it a battle?
a fight
a struggle
perhaps we are not
in combat.

Why do we journey through life
striding along times route
we know we will never reach
journeys end
times path arrows forever
into the horizon
and life
well,
it is the road we walk on
yet still we move forward
our hopeful minds fixed
on the end of the road
trying to walk
a never-ending path.

Although...
is life a journey?
an adventure
a path
perhaps we are
not moving.

Why do we dance in life
tapping along to times tune
we know we will never move
that final step
times harmony echoes through
our minds
and life
well,
it is the song we move to
yet still we flow
our bodies sway toward
the end of the beat
Trying to complete the patterns
of an unending dance.

Although...
are we dancing?
moving
swaying
perhaps we are not
Dancers.


Although...
maybe we are.

I am life
fighting for light
ever reaching forward
greater height beckoning me
growing ever stronger with the world
entire lives are born and die in me
branches shelter all from harm
cover earth from sun
hide prey from hunt
i am tree
I am life

why do we trap ourselves with walls of thought
that exist only in our heads, walls that restrict
what we can see and understand through our journeys
in life and love, good and evil, wonder and cynicism

What are we so afraid of in our existence that
barriers are created so strong built through belief
and ignorance, invented to keep so much from affecting
the way we think and act, as if the minute amount
we know is enough to live by without being
curious about this amazing universe we find ourselves
inhabiting, filling the area around us with out thoughts

How can we not be filled with an unquenchable thirst
to discover and understand all that is around us
surrounded in physical splendor and ethereal mystery
All things are there for our mind to intertwine with
to understand without deconstruction, to comprehend
without destruction to be a part of and with all
of life while being individually thinking, metaphysical exploration.

When will we allow our minds to expand beyond our
walls of mistrust and comfort to show our thoughts and
joys of living emotion to each other to let
the very essence of who we are to press against
each other in vulnerability and trust, to share without
expectation of return. Without empathy and understanding
our thoughts will remain only our own, locked
away and formless, unable to show the universe
the beauty of what we truly are.

Where will we be once we can share
with each other our thoughts mingling to be
able and ready to explore this fantastic existence
we will be human, at long last true to ourselves
and everyone else to realize the universe is a
thought in the mind of a child
and so are we.

A space where she used to be
empty and incomplete in my mind
it feels wrong jarring my perception
both a large and subtle shift
in the world

Expectations shape our reality
telling us what is absent
what is new and interesting
my mind knows she will be there
though this is not true

the gap is like a deserted building
slowly the emptiness fills up
the weeds and vines of other thoughts
but still no matter the clutter
the space remains and shall never be filled

So there are holes in my mind
for every love i have found and lost
there is plenty more mind to be both
filled and emptied by life, a thought
that shows me both the unbelievable
highs and unfathomable depths

Was that a dream
is this a dream
i find realities are
tearing me apart
reflections look real
opposed to the ghosts
that haunt my life

Is this a dream
was that a dream
should i bleed for the fantasy
surrender to reality
trapped in a photograph
that trembles with
my screaming mind

Was that a dream
is this a dream
do i live, do i die
for imaginary lives
that are more real
than the reality surrounding me
impossibility chooses

Is this a dream
was that a dream
inside my head
is outside my mind
a lie is more real
then the tuth
of my life

a thousand sounds all around me
a clattering, cluttering cacophony
a thousand sounds all around me
none of them come near

an aura of silence grips the soul
and exhausting, suffocating choking
an aura of silence grips the soul
screaming but never heard

a taste of ashes in the mouth
a muffling, masticated mass
a taste of ashes in the mouth
teeth grinding into slivers

an emptiness within my heart
an awareness, agonising absence
an emptiness within my heart
terrified by echoes

a darkness grips my mind
an expression endlessly unseen
a darkness grips my mind
there will be no light again.

Another scar on the soul
tears run forth
Another scar on the body
blood pours out
eventually they will heal and bind
and this time
hopefully this time
sense will fade
as the callous forms
pray the time comes
when i can feel
nothing
another villain will have been created
Evil! they will cry
as they see my deeds
Monster! they'll scream
as they run in fear
it was your decision
your choice
your choice
your choice
to become as you are
I will scream
You made me!
You took my choice!
closed my paths!
ears will be closed
souls locked tight
as the reflection of themselves
they don't want to see
will be all that stands before them.

And i will bleed
and cry
for none will listen.

I'm tired of this life
So tired of this world
Of loving and knowing only pain in return
Of trust and betrayal
Of the knowledge that this is all there is
Knocked down
Again and
Again
Until i choose to not get up
Choose to stay in the dust
To let go, finally
And to not care.

I am tired of knowing that i won't
Knowing that i will get back up
this time
and the next
Smile at the world
And with flinching eyes
Wait for the inevitable pain
Again.

chains rattle and hiss
they slide and slither around my feet
poisonous serpents i cannot escape
twisting my steps into unknown paths
foiling my legs, movements truncated
falling to my knees, they climb
screaming, incoherent rage, wordless struggles
and they whisper
whisper
whisper
WHISPER
of codes and consequences
of right and wrong
breathless i scream in silent wrath
jaw distended, creaking
they wrap up my unsaid words
force their way down my throat
chaining tight my beating heart
beating
beating
beating
bea....


Peace.

And so
here i stand
on the soft of the knife
choice to my side
the sudden stab of breathless agony
the slow slice that bleeds me dry
an endless dripping of my blood
drip drip drip
down the blade no matter where i turn
a love never expected has retreated
the steel remains here within me
drip drip drip
taunting my inability to move or decide
which pain to fall for
the slow burning edge
or the quick oblivion

and so
here i stand
on the soft of the knife.

Solitary figures
we wander throughout
this life, moving in
any direction
alone, always, until
chance conversation
spark off flint
an idea
a pronouncement
and the path is crowded
for a time, then
alone again
The secret, perhaps, is
not to lust after
the moment
however only to enjoy
when they happen
and to bask in
the silence
when they don't
for the warmth
will come again
in time.

Her eyes are endless pools of rich earth
The glitter and sparkle ever present
Stand against them I cannot
Letting go, I am lost eternally
Ecstatic

Her lips are the magnificent hue of the dawn
Forever burning with sweet desire
Dent their attraction I cannot
Release my hold, I fall heedlessly
Helpless

Her skin is as soft as a whispered breath
Warmed by caress with unmatched invitation
Resist temptation I cannot
Open my grasp, I leap happily
Exuberant

Her mind is a deep as an ocean of thought
The spark and fire rampant within
Ignore the connection I cannot
Surrendering my stance, I stumble
Gratefully

Her embrace is as calming as a moonlit eve
Comfort enveloping in wordless love
Scorn my smile I cannot
Shedding my burden, I stand

Cold winds blow and wash over clothes less skin
The argent shining of suns long away covers earth
I stand waiting, as I ever have, with hope and humour
The dawn shall come soon
And be with me
In glory
The birth of a new day, resplendent in the possible
The chill beauty of the night gracefully fades
The bright wonder of the day sweeps
In waves across the world

The new dawn suffuses the hills, a golden flow of light
Warmth on my face, looking at the ascendant sun
Breath catches as colours erupt in riotous desire
The dawn has come
She stands with me
In wonder
The day has come, the existence of all is truth
Land breathes, voices risen in greeting
Life has arrived, we cry.

A wild flight into drizzled dark night
The chorus line thumping
Overcome by roar and strain
Of metal tested to limits as we race
An endless risk disregarded as thought
And the sound of a bright giggle
Wondrous eyes lit in thrill of threat
Fear has no place in this setting

A manic gleam and set to her face
Sharing a secret as we laugh and howl
Because this is who we are
For all out control and desire
We scream endlessly through life eternally silent
Until we do not have to be
And in glory we release!

Fear is a thing to be learnt
A feeling to ******* and freeze
Is it felt here?
A resounding no! Shatters the question
In the screech of tires
In the surge of adrenaline
In the wild savage smile of freedom
Of a shout into the night in defiance of order!

Does my heart race as we tear around?
Not even a tremor! Until I turn,
My face from the moaning wind rushing past
And i gaze upon this savage exposed
Lips pulled back in ferocious glee
A focused and fierce glare to the world
We deny life and taunt the spectre
Come to us, we cry!

The paths are slick with tears of the gods
The roads tempestuous writhing in deceit
I sit in peace, relaxed
A warrior companion at my side
We know no fear of what may come
For trust
Ah trust
Is the colour of life
Ever shadowed as a challenge to endings!

She lights as a fire of the brightest stars
And i would embrace her
Burning endlessly.

The soul knows no greater anguish
Then to take a breath
That begins in love
And ends in grief
In sunlit origins birthed
In forgotten nights surrended
But there are many pains
So many
They unfold as they will
And to dwell within them
Is to know nothing

Except, perhaps

In love grief is a promise
As sure as death
There will be many gardens
But this last one to visit
Is still
So very still
Not meant for lovers
Not meant for dreamers
Meant only for lonely figures
Standing in the dark
Taking a single breath

The trees with their mocking branches
Reaching ever upwards toward the sky
Knees on rough earth, cut deeply
The stone drinks blood and tears
The wind taunts both tree and earth
A laughing shriek as it weaves around
A form slumped motionless
Torn skin pressed without flinch
Movement in tears without cease
A tormented heart forever beating
Hands reaching for unheeded touch
The form would scream if only he could
There is nothing left to create this need
An empty shell is all that remains
A frame joined only by yearning
For a lifelong vanished
Best forgotten
If only
If only
Without the yearning
There is nothing
The earth would thirst
The branched would mock no more
And the wind would taunt dust
Only dust.

I watch here as she sleeps
This disconcerting girl I know
Her face relaxes, falls to slumber
But not i
No, never i
As the wind is filled
With questions unanswered
And answers unquestioned

Her breathing slows as sleep drifts
A mind slowly moving toward peace
I wait for those eyes to open
But not me
No, never me
I am not what those eyes want to see
In unopened eyes I see hope
In opened only closing.

World are like liquid, ever flowing onward
Filling available space, spreading
Into thought and desires, evolving
Escaping, mouthing influences
Supporting ideas and emotional responses
Communication ever building between minds
Connections to create a meaning
A delicious combining
Of joint souls

We search through life for encounters through words
Endlessly talking to find the one who connects
Speech that becomes mind, becomes body, becomes soul
A grand milieu, where the sum of ourselves
Becomes greater than the whole
Where words become our souls
Minds and bodies, separate and distinct
Join to become one
In new life

Mind, body and soul, the very meaning of love
A connection deep and profound that the words
That brought us together
Are no longer necessary
Emotion becomes all.

A mind divided by choice
When the choice is not its own
A blazing light shrouded by cloud
Love of one
That does not love in return
Can never be returned
That feeling remains
Trapped in a limbo of desire
And control
Forever contesting which way
It may fall

To exist in love is to fall
Fall fall fall
Drift continuous ‘til space
And time are meaningless
Only tears fall as far as love
Subsumed into emptiness
That crowds the mind so full

There is no choice to fall
As there is in life
Only an awareness
As the light burns

It will scour mind clean
Until nothing remains
Alone in the dark
But still whole

That then is the choice
To surrender to love
And lose ourselves
Or to remain who we are
And go alone into the great dark.

A Mind unfettered
A soul let free
To dream of all these is to be
A sense of wonder
Of hope discovered
An endless source
Of joy uncovered

A heart unfurled
A love let soar
To see a world as it may roar
A place of knowing
Of life reclaimed
An eternal font
Of comfort ordained

A laugh released
A smile liberated
To feel the sun shine
The passion of warmth
Of desire redeemed
A wondrous spring
Of merriment achieved

An enchantment unveiled
Imagination let free
To dance the steps as will be
A glory in movement
Of promise secured
An amazing wellspring
Of future procured

A mind unfettered
A soul let free
To dream of all there is to dream
A sense of wonder
Of hope exalted
An endless source
Of joy anointed.