Black dog, black dog
Why do you follow me
What do you want
Why do you rob me of experiencing joy
I try to flee ... It's no good
Wherever I go
There you are too
I fled to a foreign country in aid to escape you
But low and behold there you were
Waiting to welcome me at the airport
Black dog, black dog
Aren't you embarrassed
You ought to be ashamed of yourself
I wish I could **** you
I would if I could
But then I'll have to die too
And I refuse to give you any form of satisfaction
I intend to stick around just to spite you
What do I have that you want so badly
You feed off me
You're nothing but a parasite ... Leech
Black dog, black dog
I can't stand the feel of you
You're a brain drain
Keep me chained at home
Yet you grant me creativity
But at a price of course
I love to hate you
And worst of all ... You know this
A paradox of gross contrast
Black dog, black dog
I have a plan up my sleeve
I'm going to buy a brand new pair of pliers
Then, slowly ... One by one
I'm gonna pull those teeth of gleaming white
I will destroy your deadly bite

You left years ago,
                                the bed still unmade
You left years ago,
                                the bills still unpaid
You left years ago,
                                the message I still play
You left years ago,
                                the beauty I still gaze
You left years ago,
                                the child I still raise

When you came into my life I didn’t want you. I was so young and I thought I didn’t need you.
I said I couldn’t tell a difference, my mother begs to differ she could see the difference.
I was
Calmer
I could focus
I stopped bouncing my leg up and down, up and down, up and down all of the time.
I no longer tapped my pencil like a little drummer boy
I ate like a little girl, not a hollow creature attempting to fill a hollow leg.
It’s been 6 years. 365 days every day, each morning with you on my tongue   so that I can focus.
You have given my the power to act normal...
But we need to take a break it might not be you but I just need to see so I have to find out who I am without you and I’m scared because I don’t know who I’ll be but
I’ll still be me, right?
I’m sorry but it’s prbably just temporary  trust me

Today
Today we would have celebrated
Today marked 13 years
Somehow though
We only had the first 9.

You're still just as important to me.
You're still in my heart.
I still think about you.
Every single day.
I still think about what you’d say
Silently asking for your advise
You talked me through everything

Loving someone can change
That love it can modify,
it can alter,
it can grow
It can break
but it never stops.

If there was away
To leave that love somewhere
Abandon it
Drive it as far away as possible,
I would have.

Loving a ghost,
a memory,
It can be crippling
the what ifs
They are devastating.

Caring for you was never easy
but I chose to do it,
I chose you over and over again.
Even when you stopped choosing me

I loved you so much.

I continue loving you
That choice I made
Will be for the rest of my life.
I can’t take it back

I will miss you every single day.
A part of me
destined to be lost
for the rest of time.

Im no longer full,
a shell of a person.
I gave you such a big piece of me,
throwing caution to the wind.
I gave and I gave and then
I gave some more.

You took and you took and then
you left.
Never looking back
Not even to see if I could stand on my own.
Not even a glance to see if I’d survived.
I did.
Didn’t I?

I remember as a quiet child
The summer days upon the grass laid
Banks of a timid stream
Sitting cross-legged, bending
To stroke the muddy waters
With a part of forgotten wood
And all around the warmth of
The summer's glowing sun

An intake of breath would
Bring the scent of tall trees
Bounding to my favorite nest.
footsteps followed shallow paths
That meandered to and from
The stream which gurgled as a child
In excited and gay temperament

I did then pause in rapture of my sense
And touch a life of serene sublime
A tender moment to solitude
Yet as I sat flat upon the grass
A gentle butterfly swaggered
In its pride of showy acrobatics
White and blissful in balance
With my sun-filled dreams

Nature showered in a halo of blushes
Collected the dusty corn colors of summer
And sprinkled then at my feet
For a secret wish for me to dare
Then... through my reverie
I heard some voices cheer
Some boys scuttled the biggest log there
back into the stream it sped
Some part cooled in water
Some part basked in sun

I recall the echo of buzzing beetles
That zoomed across the water
And were hidden by the distance
On the other side
Some dragonflies hovered with curiosity
In some infrequent time
The red and green of their wings
Seems now lost to me
They shimmered like chrome
Of tireless helicopters

This was a busy side to my young years
What with barges of driftwood
And scurrying air-traffic
Yet the call of the water birds
Stayed only after the sun had set
And leafy foliage lingered in silhouette
The birds crossed the sky with
To me a mournful cry
As a reminder the day had said goodbye

Yet little did I realize then
That in flowering adulthood
I would return to those summer days in sweet lament
And cherish that moment of child content.