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BM Green Feb 9
I keep seeing Hawks
On the way to work
Souring through the sky
On the way home
Diving towards the earth

I saw a Hawk outside my window
Sitting on the neighbors roof
I saw one at my parents house
Perched beneath the trees

Each Hawk looks right at me
With little movement we lock eyes
The Hawk knows me,
Recognizes my soul

Seeing a Hawk could mean many things
Protection
You need perspective
Representation of a memory

But overall
It means following your intuition
Intuition
Intuition always leads me
To you

Then again
Seeing a Hawk could also be a warning
That evil is near
Be aware and ready to defend yourself

I guess when it comes
To Hawks
To You
It means the same thing.
  Dec 2018 BM Green
Lost Girl
I am a warrior.
Stronger than her demons.
Braver than the darkness.
BM Green Nov 2018
Life never stopped,
No matter what happened.
Life never stopped moving forward.
It didn’t care that I missed you.
It didn’t matter
That “my plans” were ruined
So I moved on.
I fought,
When all I thought I was capable of
Was falling to pieces.
I fought.
Life kicks you when you’re down
You kick back
I lost some days
I lost some weeks
but I never once gave up.
Life doesn’t stop.
So neither did I.
It never allowed me to stop,
I never thought I would get here
But I’m thankful
For both the grief and the grace.
BM Green Nov 2018
He will never know
He will never make me feel as you did
He will never love me enough
He will never know my soul

I will never be mesmerized by him
I will not love him as much as I once loved you
Because that much love
It no longer resides in me
He will never get to experience it all
I will always have that part of me hidden

He’ll never see my truest smile
Hear my fullest laugh
My eyes will never shine as they did those years ago
He’ll never know your girl

Maybe that’s a good thing
Maybe that’s just fair
Because If he did
If he new that version of me
He’d know what a fraud I was
That in your back pocket
You still carry around my happiness
Every piece of my heart.

Every night my heart breaks for you
No one even knows
The people I know now
They don’t even know you exist
That we existed
The fire we held between us.

How incredible
Incredibly sad  
People in my life
That don’t know you
That never will
They never witnessed our beauty
They never witnessed our fall from grace

You are centuries away
Miles upon miles
Valleys and rivers divide us now
Yet in the middle of the night
I still close my eyes
I pretend I can hear it
Hear your car coming to take me away

I meet you every single night
In my dreams it worked out
In my dreams we found our way back
We always go back to our park
I get the smallest taste of happiness again

Waking up is excruciating
But my heart has come accustomed
I know how to push it down
Shake it off and smile
I know how to put you back in that box
That’s where you stay in the daylight
Wrapped tightly up in the smallest box I could find

That’s how I survive
I survive by settling
My life is good
I have a lot
I am blessed upon blessed
I am the happiest I could be
The absolute happiest I could be
Without you.
BM Green Nov 2018
I wonder
What God values more
How we treat others
Or
How we treat ourselves?
BM Green Aug 2018
Therapy
Is that all I am?
All I will ever be?
His therapy
Never the one he’ll love
Always the one he’ll run to
Will you ever notice the storm behind my eyes?

The best kind of therapy
Used up but useless
His therapy
Never the one he’ll miss at night
Always the one he’ll “need” come sun light
Will you ever feel this heaviness in my soul?

Destined to never be heard
But always be listening
Everyone’s therapy
Fixing all your problems
Forever your sounding board
Morning, noon or night
You could never be an inconvenience right?

You’ll take all my advice
Soak up every word
Yet you’d drop my heart on to the ground
Walk away
Wipe your hands of the blood
on your ***** jeans
All you’ll ever want from me
Is free therapy
BM Green Aug 2018
It consumed my soul,
Every single day
Begun with you
Ended with you
You were so heavy to hold up,
All this disappointment building inside
Why wasn’t I enough?
Why her?
Or her?
Or her?
Each time
I kept the pain to myself
I told you I understood
Mistakes happen right?
You’d never hurt me again?
I still “believed you loved me”
I was so young back then
A fire raged in my heart,
Slowly burning it up
You tore me apart
I let you
Because I actually loved you.
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