I move from closet to closet, and fit my arms
into shirts too big for me. I silently wiggle into
acid stained jeans. I lie. We’re too good
at wearing other peoples’ clothes, a fact you
told me in late autumn when I asked to borrow your
coat. Oh, how I wish you told me earlier that you
were afraid of the cold, how I would've gave
you the very jacket I had stolen. But you liked
the way my clothes fit, and you liked the way
your hands slipped into my pockets, and you told me
that there was nothing more to life than the fraying
of fabric or the ripping of jeans. And so, when you
left, and you didn't say I love you, I figured it
was because my clothes stopped fitting you.

I'm afraid

I'm afraid of being betrayed
By those who I love
So I stand in the shade
I dream of
Better days, unafraid,
Of being dismayed

I'm afraid of being alone
The grey unknown
Has been shown
The darkness is now my throne
My isolation is my crown
It rests upon my brow
I've become a clown

I'm afraid of my self
I sit alone on a shelf
Collecting dust
I want to combust
Who do I even trust?

My fears have moulded to my skin
Each inhale
Can cause me to derail

                                  My tale has made me pale
                                  For my fears are like a veil
                                    I have made my own jail

You ask me why do I cry
I cannot lie
my heart is shattered into two
You ask me why am I so blue
I'll tell you why my dear
I'm all out of tears from the years I spent crying over you

I value my life as much as you valued mine
If I die tomorrow my dear would you miss me
I sighed and cried, yet I didn't not see you

This strong willow tree is nothing but a shrub
This strong wolf is nothing but a pup
This rainbow has no luck
That swan is nothing but a duck
This strong woman is nothing but a fragile girl

You ask me why do I cry
I cannot lie
my heart is shattered into constellations
because of your creations
across the sky they lie
watch the pieces shine
but it is all lies
they're all dead inside

When the stars dont shine

I'll know you're dead

When the grass in the prairies are yellow

I'll know you're dead

When the city lights dont catch my attention anymore

I'll know you're dead

When I dont see anymore blessings

I'll know you're dead

When the sun is the brightest thing I see in sight

I'll know you're dead because you're my light to my dark and cloudy days

When a guitars sound makes me sad everytime I hear it

I'll know you're dead

When I dont have a reason to wake up to

I'll know you're dead

When the night comes and there's no one to say "Goodnight I love you" to

I'll know you're dead

When I write you these poems
And read them to you

Dont be afraid

Because I love you and mean everything in them

You're alive, and God keeps blessing me everyday you're alive

Don't be afraid of anything, because I love you

You're alive

The night isn't so dark after all, and the dark isn't so scary after all

The sun isn't so bright after all

You're alive

Thoughts: they careen through my head like
cars in the midst of rush hour. I search for
one car in particular. My head is the foundation

of an unconstructed civilization, and I find myself
to be a tourist in the depths of my own mind. I
know all too well how easy it is for others to get lost

in the enigmatic chaos that is my head but I won’t
lose you. I am nothing, compared to the blinding lights
and insistent, blaring sounds, all warring for your attention.

I wander the streets with the sad, distant thought
that maybe I’ll glance up and find your headlights
slicing through the grey overcast. I’d even settle

for the looming red glow of your pretty, quiet
tail lights. But I know you’re long gone and your
lights are long out. The sad and beautiful part about

my mind is that I’m trapped here. And I believe I’d
still be searching for you, even if I didn’t want to. I’m
am a slave to my own thoughts, I am in love

with my mind’s creations. And while I’m well aware that
you are but a figment of my infinite imagination, I will do
everything I can to continue to believe in you.

I am merely a second of time, while you’re the hours
the days and the weeks; I am only for a moment and
you seem like an eternity. The people I pass on the street

know something I don’t - everyone seems to have
figured out how to live with their demons, while mine
like to play keep-away with my sanity. They look a lot like

you. Everytime you cross my mind it sounds a lot like
contorting metal and the shrieks of pedestrians. I suppose
we’ve got a lot in common with a car crash.

When you look at the world,
It seems so small.
Every little step
And then you have it all.
What is this feeling that's so hard to guess?
I don't know which would be best.
Just like you're living in a dream,
Everything seems the same;
There really is no one to blame,
In a dream.
There are some things
That nobody knows;
Like when you look at someone,
What is it they won't show?
People will lie
Just dying to tell the truth.
Just like you're living in a dream
Where everything seems the same;
There really is no one to blame
In a dream.

I was not informed that when you fall in love,
you’re supposed to shout ‘This Means War’
at the top of your lungs, and dare the world
to catch up with the soles of your feet. You

ran across plains and through valleys, the
soles of your shoes worn out from stomping
out tiny fires, all started by your temper. I was not

informed that you were permitted to burn down
and pillage villages with your careless acts of
lust. I've learned that the world is not exactly round
however it's magical in the sence that it’s got a

way of putting you right back in the spot you were
trying to escape from. I saw fighter jets and
missiles in your eyes, and felt bombs in your pulse.
I loved you, though. Your lips were the only thing left

of you. But even they swore and spewed anger. I
was not informed that when you fall in love, your
heart is supposed to die. You struck fear in the depth
of my soul...but I forgot:  ‘all is fair in love and war’.