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CP Dec 2018
I’m not worth talking to
that’s what you said in the kitchen
we end up in circles, around and around

I’m not worth talking to
you words wrapped themselves around my legs and took them upstairs
and they’ve worn me down

I’m not worth talking to
they slipped into my spine
and I took them to bed

I’m not worth talking to
your words sat on my chest at night
I waited for that sunshine but it didn’t show

I’m not worth talking to
I sounded like your echo to begin
but now I sound like you
our voices match

I am not worth it
you’re right
CP Nov 2018
if I keep moving I’ll forget
it started as a stroll through my memories
the complete collection of our friendship
our moments recorded transmitted at night

If I keep moving I’ll  forget
It was then a slow jog, a steady projection forward through repeated images of us
a job through our conversations and with equal speed my replies to your salvations

If I keep moving I’ll forget
I’m running now and out of breath
Escaping these meadows is harder than I thought

My leisurely pace through your actions has confused me
The trees seem like strangers trying to touch me
The grass blades pass like a covered memory

I’m on a train seven hundred miles an hour
The sun sets behind me and yet I’m strolling through your music

I need to keep moving to forget you because you never even remembered me
CP Sep 2018
Dear you, I know you hate the way clothes fit
but you run around calling out confidence, you hypocrite.
Stop covering your face with hair
people just don't care.

Dear you, I know you count the numbers and your days
praying you'd be lighter
so small you might float away.

Dear you, I know in the mirror you're not gentle
hurling abuse at the person in the reflection
are you hoping through rejection she'll change?
Even when you don't say the words they linger in your throat
waiting to -

Dear you, hating yourself is easy
you're full of questions and hate
'put down the plate'
hating yourself is getting into bed in darkness and listening to raindrops

Dear me, please stop.
You're tired of fighting everyone and then yourself
You're tired of catching your reflection looking at you for some validation
i'm yearning for love and i'm tired of starvation

Dear you, you will get out of bed and open the blinds,
you will make it better
I'm sorry for all i've put you through

Dear you, step-by-step unacounted for, I will look after you.
CP Sep 2018
you're supposed to be my mother
not my enemy
i saw others don't tip toe around their parents
they're honest and smile

you're supposed to be my mother
not my enemy
so why do you rain the insults
obnoxious, selfish, rude girl

i've heard the symphony so often i now sing it to myself
obnoxious, selfish, rude girl
i saw others aren't afraird of their parents words
they're constructive and gentle

you're supposed to be my mother
not my enemy
so please act your age before the gap between us grows
i can't hold on forever when you're hot and cold
the everchagning tap is burning

please be my mum and not my enemy
i'm tired of this repetitive symphony from you
CP Sep 2018
Near you

My books and poems don’t excite me
Neither does the soft gushing of the Aegean sea
but the presence of you-

My brushes and paints are now lost on me
Neither does the inspiration from the sky
but when you’re nearby-

My words fall out all at once clumsily
but when you’re near me
my thoughts flutter around your mind
my words build an eloquent house around your sentences
art grows from my tips and all I want to do is paint your lips

My palette is static as my mind
but when you’re near me
the colours change their hue

Like the flying chaos of the world I am soothed by the presence of you
I can’t get him off my mind.
CP Sep 2018
I will not forget

You called me beautiful and I think about it every night
Twisting and turning in my sheets
I fell in love with you slowly then all at once
You called me smart and ****** and you blushed
I fell in love with you so easily

I will not forget when you lay in my bed till 5 am
I wanted you
you talked the night away eating chips
Wishing I didn’t have to leave you
It felt for real
You said you were glad you met me
I wanted to say so much more

I will not forget when your eyes lingered over my lips
I should have told you
I fell in love with you long before
and now I’ve left but darling I will not forget
CP Aug 2018
I’m in the pool dancing and then I’m not
My mind is far and my body is static
I stand there but where?
I’m so lost but I haven’t moved

I’m at the bar talking and then I’m not
My mind is travelling and my body is marble
the words stop coming because I’m not here
But where am I?

I’m reading, devouring the chapter and then I’m Not
My eyes glitter over and my body remains

I travelled away but I don’t know where
Any empty true nothing
The world moved and progressed
The people around me walked and talked
But I stood there fixed
Thinking of nothing
Going anti clock wise in a wave of progression

I’m disassociating again. I don’t know why I don’t know where
And all I seem to do is glare
maybe into the nothingness , maybe into the past

I’m writing rhymes in my pad and then I’m not
the pen and the lines evanesce
I’d like to come back.
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