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R Mar 2020
If I let you roam to your heart’s content,
Do you promise to come back
When you need to rest your weary head?
Still pining for someone I can never have. Ever.
N Nov 2019
All my years, I’ve been preparing to die,
and now they’re forcing me to stay alive
Claiming they can heal my wounded soul
by shocking my brain causing more trauma

How do you go back
from being buried?
How do you find peace
when you know what’s awaiting you?
How do you love
when your heart has stopped?
How do you remember
when you’ve lost your mind?
How do you cry
when you don’t have tears?
How do you overcome your past
if it’s still your present?
What do people do with their lives
if their whole being didn’t yearn for its doom?

How do I start?
Where do I begin?

This is the first day of my life
where I’m not suicidal, and
I don’t know what there is to do
when death was my only salvation

I don’t know this new version of me;
the one who doesn’t find it impossible
to stay for another day,
another endless night

I’m scared of shifting back;
I’m scared of being buried
by my own deadly psych,
I’m scared of dying again

Things are more lighter now
The elephant in the room is no
longer perched upon my chest,
and my wrists are no longer
bleeding, only the scars remain

What if I get hungry again, and can’t
find anything to feed on but my own blood?
What if I woke up in a casket again?

I can’t help but wonder
for how long is this going to last?
How long am I going to last?
I hope this lasts,
I hope I last

I can hope like others do!
I’m hoping again
which is a sign of life!

Am I deluding myself?
Am I better or worse?

I need someone to squeeze my hand
just so I know that this is real
It’s dangerous to get stuck in
a state where nothing feels real
No matter how deep
you went to draw blood,
you still don’t feel like you’re here

In my head I’ve already
killed myself, long ago,
and now my corpse is
somehow trying to breathe, again?

This goes against logic
This goes against my own head,
my head is going against
its own suicidal thoughts

Am I going to look back at this,
and not believe that one day
One day I felt alive enough to breathe,
and not wish I wasn't
A burst of emotions I felt a month ago, but I’m buried by my own deadly psyche once again. I wish those feelings lasted for longer. Perhaps I was manic during that time. I just wish I wasn’t so suicidal. I’ve completely given up.
N Nov 2019
For how much longer
do I have to wash my hands?  
                      sleep in the burning house?              
                      carry this heavy heart?
                      weep?
                      bleed?
                      ask for bandages?
                      hide my scars?
                      see my therapist?
                      lose touch?
                      force a smile?
                      see my reflection?
                      try to fix the brokenness?
                      adjust to new meds?
                      wish I was dead?
                      wash my hair?
                      trim my nails?
                      write these lines?
                      avoid my birthday?
                      fight the urges?
                      endure myself?
                      cling to this life?
once upon a time,
through inhales of cigarette smoke,
grime and long gone hope,
rose a pretty little woman.

i was fortunate enough to witness this.

i witnessed the rise and fall of a soul so pure.
so purely stained by reality’s ruthless claws.
a soul so pained by the universe’s laws.

her knees? bruised, from the falls.
her eyes? dark, from the endless tearful nights.
her hair? knotted, from all the pulling her devils did.
her lips? warm, from the blood that dripped.

the red she bled accompanied by sorrow.

her voice? soft, but so immensely broken.
so fatigued and weary,
because although she doesn’t realize it,

her aura screams in tongues
of unbearable agony.

once upon a time,
we met.
through the plans of
some unknown being.

seeing how our pain had grown so similar.

and ever since we held onto each other, we haven't left.

because,
once upon a time, we suffered.
once upon a time, we were crushed by the damages done to us.
once upon a time, we were cowards and refused to face our devils.
once upon a time, we were disposable in this barren waste land.

and life isn’t a fairytale, it will continue to do it’s worst
and we’ll feel pain like no other.

but, i’d rather continue
my painful tale with her,
than without.

-melancholicreator
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Sam H Nov 2019
Im down that
same old road again
I thought i left it behind
Turns out i was
running in circles
Now I reunite with that
haunted path of mine

I thought i had found
New distractions
A detour from
That place
But it always
Catches up
No matter how far
I run or hide

Everyone is coming
To get me
Catching up from behind
Do i slow down
For them to consume me
Or do i speed up
Until i die

Either way i cannot win
Im a slave to the society
No other route can suffice
B D Caissie Aug 2019
I've the wherewithal that time is brief
What time has taken like a thief

A bird above and pebble below
Standing between is all I know

An archway taunts me through the spruce
Hounded by whispers of being obtuse

Left by the forest right on the river
My eyes are open wider than ever

Listen to the ripples upon the water
Finding  peace with my heavenly Father

Oh how those wildflowers have grown
Where I forever rest my weary bones
TheWitheredSoul Jun 2019
Around a thousand faces
Among a million smiles
Across a billion miles
I still find my heart weary of Your lies.
Anna Fox Jun 2019
I am a kite
lightly floating in the gentle breeze
I am a cloud
dancing in the skies delicacies

I feel only wind
I see only light
carried only by the sky's currents
I am almost out of sight

As I dance the winds settle
the clouds and sky are now more
brutal than they are gentle

I am no longer a kite being carried
fooled by the skies shifting
by the dying breeze
I am wearied
Jack Brandon May 2019
Therapy Session,
To release the misconception.
Turn the depression into a lesson into a message.
The stem of the universe trapped in a mind,
Questioning existentiality like a child learning to ride a bike.
The root of the issue seems to be external,
But the issue is no more than the perception of a mortal.
We see, we think, we do,
We misunderstand, we think, we choose.
The clouded screen that obstructs our vision,
Is in reality what makes our decisions.
Is the judgment what lights the spark?
Or our perception of the words thrown at us that light the gasoline?
To breath and step back and accept the truth-
No one can truly judge you, except you.
We respond on emotion
Without thinking through,
The more gentle truth that tells you that it’s really not you-
No one can truly judge you, except you.
We feel attacked, abandoned, betrayed,
Like the things people say hold some meaning that should sway,
Our views of our self,
Only bound by our self.
When they look you in the eye and tell you the lies,
Remember,
Others do not decide who you are,
Do not let them define you;

You are

Who    you    are.
This is a poem that I wrote after waking up in the middle of the night.
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