I'd like to
become see-through
For people to
know who
is hiding underneath
how lungs breathe
how bones shiver
of the stolen liver
throat that has to swallow hard
each broken promise shard
stomach digesting
loneliness from life's endless questing
these veins red and blue
this heart beating true
I wish to be see-through
see-through for you

Without it I'm sure
I look so pure
Til you see me sing the most beautiful song
with blood on my tongue

How did you end up
flowing in my veins?
I breathe you
with every second that passes
and I cry with tears
that taste like you.

Pathetic,
right?

I should make myself
a tea
and calm down...
as if this could
heal me...

How can you heal
with an ordinary tea,
a chronic problem?

Doctor,
give me
ten boxes of aspirin.

we
have
to
overcome
the
cold

I do not need alcohol to have
fun.
I do not need cigarettes to be
cool.
I do not need dope to be
creative.
I need to feel you in my
veins.
I need to breathe you in with every
heartbeat.
And even if you’re just a high,
I want to never come
down.
I do need you.

I've reached the end
my brain can't think of words again
I've lost my connection with my pen
But these demons are still inside my head
And won't disappear as I count down from ten
I'm lost, afraid.. And every now and then
I contemplate... to get relief
By cutting up my veins

Drinking won't take away my pain
And the sun won't dry away the rain
But the thunder keeps calling out my name
Its roaring, screaming in my brain
It's driving me insane
Repeating it over and again
I'm looking at this mirror
With no idea who I am

I'm trying to collect all the fragments that remain
Of who I used to be, before the demons made
my brain into their domain
And I might be crazier than them
Because every day I feign
A smile so that no one can complain
That I'm the kid that is broken and alone
With no one but myself to blame

I did nothing
I said nothing

They were laughing
You were watching

The less I loved myself
The more I faced the taunts towards myself

My dejection,
Became your entertainment

My cries,
Made you to smile

I hate myself for liking you
I loathe myself more for telling you

My cards were slapped on my face
The fragile flowers I gave you, made you feel disgraced

Breaking the heart of a peasant is no big deal for you, even I know that

What did those flowers every did to you, I never understood that

I returned home, feeling detached from my own emotions

Didn't actually felt bad for my heart or the things you said and did

But felt bad for destroying those beauty

Everyone and everything in your life teaches you something..

This was my lesson to learn
From you

I don't know why I never loved myself,

Maybe because my eyes are too dark or my hair too short

Maybe my cheeks are too puffy
Maybe my skin is too dark

Maybe because I'm too loud and weird, for everyone around

Maybe I'm too boyish Or too frank,

Maybe it's my thinking that let it be later it'll be all right

Maybe it's my patience that makes me think that you'll change one day

But those flowers,
What was wrong with them?

They were simply beautiful,
Yes, I agree, some petals on the flowers were not equal to each other

Every petal was different from the other,
Some flowers were in perfect shape and some where beautiful in colour

Look closely,
Every petal is formed within the flowers with each other,

Each flowers are born from the very ground beneath us,

Their veins connected to each other

Some were different from eachother but all were the same

Maybe it's same with humans also,
Everyone is literally the same thing,

But a little difference made us completely different from eachother,

Why should I not love myself?

I can scream louder than anyone,

My slangs, stand out from everyone around

Anyone who knows me, realises I have arrived due to my nest like hair

Everyone I know is honest with me and honestly I like it that way

So why don't I love myself?

The more I found the positive things about myself, the more I started to love myself

You and your friends were trying to make fun of me,
For saying my heart's desire

I made fun of myself in front of you, and said, everyone does stupid things once in a while

Your friend said, you're a tomboy, you're way to boyish
You should wear skirt and keep your hair long

I said, I do know that and I like it that way
Skirts and long hair is not my thing, probably it'll suit you

You said that I've changed
I said, Really, how so?

The bell rung, I went to class,
Now when I actually think about it,
I never got an answer from you!

But frankly I don't care,
We all are flowers born from the ground beneath us,

We may look different, but we've got the same veins connecting us to each other

___

It was you who kept
me warm on those cold,
Winter nights.
I had you running in my veins
and your love was a fire that
left me burning
for days.

if you cut
open my veins
ink will pour out

I noticed that my veins are blue
maybe that's the reason why
my insides have no clue
and my hands keep reaching out while I cry

over and over and
over
in an instant
silent
again
already
really?

I think this time I broke a record
how fast can you lose?
All those poems, while may be deep, still seem to fall short
and the right thoughts I easily diffuse
For

an answer
a clear head
a simple feeling
a loveable thread

Yeah, that is maybe
what I want exactly
for you to threaten me
with pure intensity

Where do all those empties come from anway?
Am I so full that I count for two
And only the shallows look my way,
are you one of them, too?