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Manny Aug 14
I'm not ok
Is that the first step I should take
Should I admit to my mistakes
Should I reach for another bottle
Cry about how much this aches
I'm not ok
But it's never going to end
Maybe all I needed was a friend
But now I'm holding to this blade
Tempted to cut again
Because every time I look into the mirror
I just want to ******* scream
I swear to God that I still hear them
And they keeps whispering to me
How my death is drawing near
I'm not as happy as I seem
So listen closely
I don't think you should love me
I only use you when I'm lonely
Wrap your arms around my neck
And start kissing me slowly
It's ******* crazy
I only think about it lately
My death
And I don't think someone exists
Out there that can still save me
I am sick
I admit that I'm not ok
An atheist that drops to his knees
Sometimes to pray
And I scream until there's nothing left
To say
Cry into my hands until my lips start turning grey
But every time I lay to go to sleep
I keep getting haunted in my dreams
Gasping and I'm sweating
Trapped inside the devil's schemes
"You're worthless, you should die"
Tearing down my self-esteem
So listen closely
I don't think you should love me
I always act so coldly
I'll smile to your face
But know that I am phony
And yes I'm crazy
I think about it
Much more lately
My death
And I don't want someone to
Save me
Manny Feb 28
She looked into my eyes
Until I finally caved in
Her nose against my nose
her lips curled into a grin
Every breath that she exhaled
slowly crashed against my chin
my lips slowly inching forward
until they landed on her skin

Her face on to my face
and our lips so tightly pressed
One hand playing with her hair
the other firmly on her breast
her nails carved into my shoulder
other hand pulling from my chest
Caught up in the moment
we both started to undress

She knew just how to tease me
knew just how to flirt
She bit my bottom lip
just enough to make it hurt
Kissed me down my neck
and opened up my shirt
I was moving down her hips
slowly pulling down her skirt

But there was no emotion
We just gave into our flesh
We were both still newly wounded
and our pain was still too fresh
We were both just seeking solace
and a body to caress
Our bodies full of lust
and hearts full of distress
Manny Jan 11
I can feel the end
There's no more that I can take
Nothing left of me to break;
Nothing more that you can say
To make me feel like a mistake
No reason  to lay awake
Hoping none of this was fake
No more wondering
if there's more to love
Than just drowning in the ache

This is all that we have Left
Another topic to discuss
Another million different ways
For you to say
you don't believe in Us
So just walk away
I promise not to make a fuss
We've reached the point
Where love turns to disgust
From all of the distrust

But there's more to love
Than just to hurt
Much more to love
than just to flirt
Or let someone go up
your skirt
Let someone in
not being alert
To let your heart
drag through the dirt
There's more to love
than just to hurt
There's more to love
than just to hurt

There's more to love...
Manny Dec 2018
Black smoke Rises
sticking to the walls
inside my lungs
Coughing back my tears
As the ash attacks my throat
and spreads across my tongue
The cinders crackle
flaring up to light the sky
devoid of sun
As I toss inside, one by one;
the letters that you wrote to me
when we were young

But we're growing old
and as these fires flare up
to fight the cold;
As they burn up
the words these letters hold,
I find nothing can erase
the lies you told.
Because every promise
that you sold
still hides in every line,
In every fold,
In every letter inked in gold

And ss the wind picks up
and brings the rain
And your letters burn
till ash remains
It hurts me just
To say your name
But I know my pain
can be contained
And that peace can
Be obtained...

From the ashes
I'll be born again
Manny Oct 2018
Why am I here again
Same situation that I've always been
There's no escape for me
Always tempted to fall back and sin

And it feels as if
The devil has a hold of me
Feels like his grip is at my throat
And nothing's going to set me free

And I find myself
Talking to this mirror again
Its reflection looks so brittle
Like it's going to break from all the pain

And I'll... Whisper its name
So only it can hear me
I'll lie to it again
because I know it'll believe me

I'll try to smile
And say everything's okay
Keep looking at that mirror
Pretend I'm better off than yesterday

And maybe I am
Soon I will believe it
One day I will leave it all behind
Rip this sorrow off and then just leave it


But for now, all I can do
Is keep talking to this mirror
Even though I hate myself
And just hope the current me
Would Disappear

I’ll still talk to it in whispers
So only I can hear me
Begging the devil to let go of me
And wondering
Why God just won't come near me
Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and had to lie to yourself pretending everything was ok?
Manny Sep 2018
I've lost it; my crown
As it falls to the ground
It's just making the sound
Of "boo"s in the crowd
and in them I just drown
A self-proclaimed king
that's been unmasked as a clown

I grew overconfident
thinking I was the best
Rhyming just came easy
It was a gift, and I was blessed
But it kept growing harder and harder
to get the feelings right from off my chest
And I just grew obsessed
I could feel the building up of stress
I couldn't find the right words to express
lost my gift of rhyme, oh who would have guessed
I always taught myself on top
but I was losing to the rest

One of my poems got declined
without any explanations
I'll admit that none of these new pieces
have been meeting expectations
Maybe I've been running out of patience
with all my creations
I seem to have been lacking creativity
when I think and lay down all the foundations

My poems need raw emotion
To be able to reach farther
So I'll drain every thought
I'll even talk about my father
Describe how he'd get drunk
and abusive towards his daughters
While his son was just a coward
afraid to step in as he attacked his mother
I'll talk about every ******* thought that filled with horrors
and all the dread that lingers here and bothers

Maybe what I need is to drench all my rhymes in pain
That's what brought me fame
to slid open my wrist, squeeze the ink from inside my veins
That's what people like
poems they feel they can relate
they say they've felt the same
And again they'll cheer my name
say the king's back in the game
That I haven't lost my touch
that I'm still ******* insane
Then no one will ever doubt
Why this throne has engraved my name
Poetry is not all about rhyming, but rhyming is definitely a difficult skill to master. To rhyme and tell a story takes a certain type of talent that I feel not a lot of people appreciate. I see other poems get higher praise when all they do is say things straightforward. There's no beauty in their line.

This is a poem that was born out of frustration.

Sorry if I offend anyone.
Manny Aug 2018
Sometimes I miss our past... All the phone calls and Kisses...
I miss the late nights and secrets... All the hopes and good wishes...
But recently I stopped caring and I'm not sure what to do...
Because life goes on without those things... Without love ...Without You.

But it feels numb... it feels like living without meaning
Give me all those moments back when you turned my
heartbeat into screaming
Erupt all of my senses with just the slightest touch of skin
Give me what you give him, tell me it's alright for us to sin
Lie to me...tell me he's not the reason for your smile
That your being with him is just a test for me
That you've put me through a trial

Because...
Life goes on
But I can't go on...without you

There's a million different ways for me to tell you how I feel
But I always seem to choose the worst way
I've been trying to build up the courage to tell you I still I love you
But I can't seem to find the words to say...
And imagining his hand caressing up and down your skin
Is making all my sunny days turn gray
Your smile still gives me strength ..maybe enough to find the will
And tell you what I need for you to turn my way

Then again... This... Might just be a phase...
A fluke. A lemon. An emotional wave...
These bipolar feelings are driving me mad...
I love you... I miss you... I want you so bad...

Eventually, though, my thoughts of you... will wither away...
You'll find another person to brighten your days.
What's left to say? I've pushed you away...
And what's more my insensitivity, by you, has been repaid....
I know deep in my heart I'll always miss Us...hate that I withdrew...
But to free myself from this misery... I must remember... Life goes on without You.
A collaboration I wrote with an old friend of Mine.
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