It’s always easy to say you love me,
when I’m naked,
I only have your undivided attention,
when you’re about to come,

what is it with lust,
and why do all mean act like predators,
walking around looking to stick it in,
while constantly trying to fight all competitors,

gross,
get your sick stick away from me,
I don’t want to fck I don’t want to ****,
I just want to make a way to get away from everything,

even though I know there’s no where I can go,
that will put me far enough away from men,
that I will feel comfortable enough,
to relax enough to meet a man and be his friend,

and I know that sounds a little extreme,
but so does being pinned by my wrists to a bed,
while I’m being stuck from the back my lust,
with a pillow pressed upon my head,

and you don’t even get it,
you think we’re making love,
and I try to explain this,
but you don’t give a fck,

because you don’t make love,
you make lust,
so I’m going to get ghost as soon as I can,
no love lost because all we did was fck,

it’s always easy to say you love me,
when I’m naked,
I only have your undivided attention,
when you’re about to come…

∆ Aaron LaLux ∆

Every class I walked into, was a new book for me to read...
Terror had an aim on me...

and with time, it struck...

Numbness bathed me as I stepped into another Dimension, out and beyond my comfort zone

People that surrounded me, blinded my eyes, for this was a community of uncomfortable brightness, colors, and laughter.

I wanted to disintegrate into a shadow and fall right through the floor... and allow my soul to shrink and disappear.

For I stepped into an atmosphere that was unfamiliar to me...

I always looked down, for I felt like a prisoner of fear... for this is all a New World, a New Beginning for me...

I can't back down from this challenge, I'm already here...

I put makeup on
but not too much
I wore my favorite outfit
straightened my hair

I felt good
and pretty

I left my house
my home
my safe place
then
someone looked at me
a moment too long
a little too judging

today I look pretty
I thought
that's why people look at me
I thought
I am going to be okay

I met friends
and a lot of people
and I couldn't help myself
but felt all eyes were on me
but
not in a good way
in a way
that made me feel uncomfortable
in a way I wanted to sink in the floor
and never come back again
in a way
that made me reconsider
my decisions
of dressing up
of putting makeup on
of straightening my hair
of feeling good
and pretty

it scratches–
just like the branches
of our faux christmas tree
that i stand by ***** for the photo
i don't smile
i don't want to
i hate wearing this dress

Why do you think it's okay
to send me snaps
of your shirtless self?

Maybe we were there once
Maybe I was okay with it even after we broke up
for a while
but life has moved on

I have someone else now

I don't need to see your chest hairs
when I talk to you

I’M FEELING IT AGAIN.

ALL THE ******* NAUSEA

Do ya ever feel that way?

You probably have a few times in your life.

But have ya ever felt it CONSTANTLY?

Every.
Single.
*******.
Day.
I feel it.

Sometimes it’s for a few hours.

But a lot of the time, it’s all **** day.

ALL **** DAY.

I’m so uncomfortable all the time.

Because of NAUSEA.

******* NAUSEA.

Forgive me for being a little bitter.

I’m just a little<a lot>nauseated.