she stands at a distance
with her hand reaching out to mine
but I cannot seem to make it to her–
before she changes her mind
I feel her warm skin, and
but I wake up to cold sheets,
and the breeze of cold air surrounding me
she shows me her scars,
she tells me she is broken
I tell her I love her,
I show her devotion
she is like a ghost, she disappears,
she hides away
she haunts me in my sleep,
I ache for her, I miss her everyday
she tells me she doesn’t deserve my love,
she tells me to let her go
I can’t let her fade away
so I wait for her alone
She is lonely
but she wants to be alone
She is trapped in a room
with the door unlocked
She doesn’t remember
but her dreams don’t let her forget
She wants to wake up
even if she can still see the stars
She wants to be the best
but she feels like she is the worst
she works hard
even though she cannot move
one doll in your hand
one bottle in mine
I knew nothing in this world
before I knew time
you checked on me when
I was asleep
we would play outside
driving the barbie jeep
time suddenly went by so fast
school days became
you went away
protecting our country
living in plight
fearless and resilient
I was checking on you every night
my turn to look after you
driving you home to live with me
to finally reunite
you’re 27 now
And I’m 25
is the foundation of my life
brain zaps, brain fog
welcome to Zoloft
refill your script
before you decide to quit
this pill comes with a cost
it's not that easy
to taper off
this illness is not visible
one might say it's despicable
the pill that can make things bearable
everyday at the same time
remember it's no cure
it can help
and that can be worth
SSRI's Zoloft (sertraline)
The one thing we cannot control is the chaos around us
The acceptance of our fate is knowing
If you leave earlier you might still be late
Somewhere deep within our souls
We know that we can all relate
What choices do you have to control the chaos inside of you?
Close doors, inhale, and find comfort in the chaos because
There’s no escape
I wonder what you're thinking about with that blank stare.
Do you mean it when you tell me that no one else compares?
I want to believe in you but I have my doubts.
Where is someone that can tell me what you're really about?
Blue and glossy eyes, scarlet face, and frightful disposition.
I know my friends would tell me to run if they knew my position.
Your actions, I cannot deny, are beyond my comprehension.
I am stuttering and shaking, I can't help this apprehension.
When will I get the courage to leave you and accept our fate?
Sooner or later, they will see through my eyes too, and notice how they dilate.
Ask me how I am, I'll tell you I'm fine and some other lies.
But please don't listen to my words, just look at me in the eyes.
notice the signs. the eyes don't lie.
when it feels right.
when it feels wrong.