I feel irritable
for no reason at all.

I can’t shake this feeling
of wanting to scream my head off.

I feel unstable, like
the smallest thing could set me off.

Every noise, not matter how big
or how small

grates on my ears,
and fills me with anger.

My body quivers with unease,
my hands fidget incessantly.

Sensory overload,
can’t seem to dull the things around me.

I want to pull my hair out.
I want to scratch and yank at my skin.

My body doesn’t feel like it’s mine,
I feel uncomfortable. My skin is crawling.

Stop asking me what’s wrong,
I can’t give you an answer.

I could tear myself apart,
piece by piece.

All due to this feeling,
of being overly full

yet
too
empty.

We can't make them uncomfortable
We can't make them feel weird
Because my boyfriend
Has *******.
Because my "boyfriend"
Is a woman.

We cannot make them uncomfortable
Those around us
While we subtly hold hands,
pulling away if anyone's gaze looks
a bit too intense
a bit too uncomfortable

You know what's *******
uncomfortable?
Just wanting a kiss on the cheek
but getting a slap on the wrist
by a bible belt stare
Because I
am in love.
With a woman.

It's a party,
Time to celebrate,
I'm trying to get away,
Oh no, they're bringing out the cake,
I guess I'll have to wait.

I could be having a good read,
I could be watching Netflix,
I could be pretending I have a great black steed,
But instead...

I'm stuck with people I barely know,
In some unknown person's place,
Oh my god, is that Terry?
It's been weeks since I've seen her face.

I wish I was at my own house,
With my cat and with my pajamas,
Where the only thing louder than a mouse,
Would be my television screen.

Frozen and numb,
Unable to comprehend the next move,
Everything moves in slow motion.

Suffocating on air,
Words clogged up, unable to break free.

Her elegant hair sprawled across,
The surface of my thigh.
She had such a gentle smile.
Oh, how at peace she was.

As each breath of hers was precise,
My was ragged and silent,
As I kept my gaze straight but my thigh burned.

As her muscles were relaxed,
My spasmed and tensed, like her violins strings.

I was hyper-aware, senses buzzing,
As she allowed hers to be silent.
She was in a delightful harmony,
While I yearned for the thing that came to her so easily.

Everything hurt and I was drowning,
Her solid form was more of an anchor,
To help me sink in my own sea.

I was caged, and she felt like debris blocking me in.

Her touch was overwhelming, though she never knew this,
So hush hush, don’t tell her,
Despite you wanting to beg with tears streaming down,
You keep yourself restrained even though your disintegrating.

Every time you look at me,
I just want to scream.
So I get a pack of crackers
and move to the next room,
the one that smells like dust and old things.
Every time I see you glancing over your ***** shoulder
I get chills up my spine
and just want to cry.