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aury Oct 2018
It is 9:52pm.
My better judgement has lost today, so I unlock my phone; typing his name in imessage.
It is 10:21pm.
I read through in silence, his messages a grim reminder of what once was.
It is 10:50pm.
Here they come, like an unwelcome guest. Hot and flowing, the tears pour and my breath quickens. No signs of soon stopping.
It is now 12:13am.
My phone lays dark on my bedside table. My gasping sobs cut through the air, muffled and pained. My sheets cover my head and entangle my body, the only comfort on nights like these.
1:45am.
Up and down. My chest rises at a slow and steady rhythm. The tears are finally dry, no longer staining my cheeks. The memory of him now slips into my dreams, like a ghost in my subconscious.
These nights come fewer and further between as time has passed.
Unknown Sep 2018
I now truly know what it means to see everything in your life falling apart, and not being able to do anything about it.

I now truly know how it feels to see your mother break down in front of you, grieving about the happy life she once lived.

I now truly know what it looks like to see your father lose himself to his depression.

I now truly know that life has it's own course and it is inevitable that my family will find happiness.

I now truly know.
everything thing in my life is falling apart and i have no control over it.
Eleanor Sinclair Aug 2018
I wish I wish with all my heart
To be someone’s sacred art
But unlike legends and fairytales alike
It’s not so linear, it’s a hike

I wish I wish to be invisible
When I enter a room to be easily resistable
But for some reason I can’t attain that

I wish I wish for a quick easy death
To never breathe another breath
But I guess I’m just too scared to jump
Lynn May 2018
He wanted me to forget everything
and drop the conversation completely-
but I refused.
Now I must face the consequences.

-Lynn
the terrible man.
Nyx May 2018

A room of pure darkness
Lit only by the silver screen
Rows of people sit
All watching the same scene

In the final row we sat
A boy to my right
A Girl to my left
holding my hands tight

The movie begins, all at the edge of our seats
As the movie proceeds, Our happiness deceased
As we reach the end, With the conclusion drawing near
We all sit there shocked, Completely in tears

Our hands tightening, As another disappears
Sweat forming between our palms, As we feel more fear
Knees tucked up tight, You look like an idiot
A sobbing mess you were, But to you this was serious

Your hand covering your mouth, As the salty streams run down your cheeks
Attempting to hold back the sobs that were echoing throughout the cinema
The front few rows all turning around to look, You could hear them giggling
The most heartbreaking scene, Their amused stares were belittling

When the credits begin to roll, You were still shaken up
I also teared up, But I wasn't nearly as bad as you
Rubbing your back to sooth you, To help you relax
While laughing at you, Because you cried to the max

Giving you a hug, You buried your head into my shoulder
This was really quite amusing, As you were so much older
You then throwing a fit, yelling
How can the film makers do this!
At this point we were all laughing at you
Calm down
It was only a movie
Went to see infinity war and by the end of it my friend was gripping my hand and full on sobbing, He was so upset by the ending.
As sad as it was, Just remembering his reaction makes me laugh
spiral-whirl Feb 2018
i can't understand the tug at my lips when i see gore,
when pain happens,
when i think of a painful memory,
yet my heart still squeezes,
still wheezes,
still sputters,
still hurt,
but because i carry on while the storm that is against me,
and the only weapon i wield is my smile,
because they will never know how broken i am

[ kind of a part two ]

i laugh when my eyes rain,
when raindrops trickle down my cheek,
have you ever realized that sobbing and laughing sound so similar?
when someone laughs they can be crying in the inside,
when someone sobs they can be happy,
i think its a way of laughing off the pain,
just so you won't give in,
because then you lost,
and we don't want that.
two poemsssssssssss in one -u-
blue mercury Aug 2017
i still cry every day.
but this time,
the pain hits me at one minute before midnight.
as thursday starts to bleed
into friday
i remember our days
and i get so so scared that they’re over.

midnight comes.
it’s tomorrow now, it’s the next day,
and i just want to cry until my heart
is hollow.
i want to get punched in the chest.
i want to
cry
cry
sob for hours until i can never ever cry again.
i want there to be an echo, so as to prove
that my heart is empty.

it’s not empty.

there’s so much love in there, babe.
i still love you so much that it hurts
to breathe.
what’s the point
in life without you?

i’m scared that you’ve stopped
loving me.
that all this effort i’m trying to put in
so that we can be together,
so i can love you
without pain,
is for naught.

i love you more than poetry,
more than myself.
i would tear myself to shreds and
i would never write another word
if it meant that i could have you again,
if you could take me again.

i want to stop crying.
but i don’t want to give up on us.
sometimes this is more than i could handle.
ian, my biggest fear was life without you
and now i understand the reason.

as much as i smile
everything inside of me is fractured into little fragments
my bluest oceans are murky
my skies are cloudy
my future is dim.
this smile is a coverup
a defense mechanism.

no, everything is not okay.
no, i am not doing better.
no, i have not and will not stop loving you.
no matter what they tell me.
i can't. it's 12:15 in the morning and i wish i couldn't feel my heart anymore.
Lunar Jul 2017
"Do you still love me?", he looks at me deeply,

I feel empty yet full of emotion.
I can't look at him in the eyes. I just can't.  
I kept my head down for a view moments,
and tried not to cry.

'You always knew how much you meant to me, but it's always like I meant nothing to you.
You really knew how much I struggled, and you really don't even care how it hurts.  
There's nothing but pain left inside me when you said that you love me.
CAUSE I WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE YOU DO, YOU *******!


Then, I looked up to his eyes,

"Yes.."

I answered.
JAC May 2017
He looked at me,
The helpless boy in the mirror,
And said,
"You can't do this on your own."
Then his shoulders shook
Not hard enough for their burden to fall
And he in the mirror
Sobbed like a broken man
But he was just a helpless boy.
Nox Feb 2017
I could sob.

I could scream.

But instead I’m crying,

Silently crying.

Alone in my room, crying.

I can’t let anyone in.

Silent tears.

Holds the most pain.
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