Sometimes I imagine us holding hands,
Walking along the harbor:
You, telling stories of all these lost years
       like a pelican begging for food
Making music out of my invisible tears

But maybe instead of holding your hand
I should hold on to the future
And stop chasing your footprints in the sand
Only to be led nowhere.
I will no longer swim in these tears.
I have felt the ache of the salt burn on my skin for far too long.
It’s not worth docking on this pier
If you don’t treasure me like the shells along your shore.

So I set sail.
I will find a new island to call my own &
Sculpt the land like shaping clay on a pottery wheel.

I will treasure all of my shells and secrets
The way you did not treasure me.
And for once, I will command the sea.

Lost in the sea.
          Lost in your eyes.
                     Lost in your love.
      
Am I lost in the depth of the         ocean?  

Waves crash against the shore. So are you the ocean, if I’m the shore?        
      
           I see a sea turtle.
A large one with a colorful glow.

It opens my eyes and I can see the life inside you.
                It’s bright.
                         And warm.

But when you wrap your arms around me, they’re cold and dark.  

      Are we like dolphins and lions?    
Different from so many perspectives and meant to stay apart.

      But again, the lion chases    
              dolphins, while they run.          
       And they do outrun him,       because the lion can’t swim.
     Because the lion will drown into
             the depth of the ocean.

So if I let myself drown and die for your love. Will you push me back onto the shore and let the lions, whom are so afraid of drowning take me.
          And tear me apart,
                     piece by piece,
                            part by part.
        And heart by heart.

I’m not the only one who’s afraid to let myself drown into a love of another.

     There will always be one ocean,    
              that lets you drown.
      And one that pushes you away.

      There will always be one shore,    
            that’s brave enough to try.  
     And one that will never get wet,    
          because it’s too afraid to die.

I'm not a pretty sunset on the beach
With small waves and a spring breeze.
My waves are high
They rumble fiercely.
No coral reef but a bed of rocks that guards ***** and sea urchins.
But I'll still love you more than the waves will ever love the shore.

The waves of my heart,
Call out to your shore.

if my life was all but a dream
it would be all but your dream,
your sweet melody-
soft piano keys and longing
they hit distant shores,
your shores

cold beaches
and colder nights,
warm fields,
warmer bodies close together
-that was our dream

but we-
we don’t dream anymore,
cold nights don’t become warm ones anymore,
i didn’t want to be with you anymore
anymore

i still write songs
they’re still for you,
they’re still dreams in my head,
taking your hand,
your shores in my head

if i love you was a promise
to you,
i love you was a dream,
for me,
it was only just a dream

but we-
we don’t dream anymore,
cold nights don’t become warm ones anymore,
i didn’t want to be with you anymore
anymore

but we-
we don’t dream anymore,
cold nights don’t become warm ones anymore,
i didn’t want to be with you anymore
anymore

i didn’t want to be with you anymore
(if my life was all but a dream)

cold nights aren’t so cold anymore
(it would be all but your dream)

we don’t dream anymore
(that wasn’t our dream anymore)

Singing up on the fly,
the sea touches the cloud.
Dancing on the ground,
it won't slip off the floor,
it won’t drop a drop!
Curiously algorithmic,
runs on the go
leaps or dips, but never
is a gone goose!
Programmed clouds
sing and drop!

sitting outside in the freezing cold with some friends
talking about Disney movies and why we don't like some of them
talking about the flat earth theory and talking about being psychic
talking about how no one likes us and that's why we're not going to homecoming because no one asked
my hands are getting numb and my drawings are flapping in the wind
the teacher is inside and i tell them about a dream i had when i was 6 years old and how i still remember it to this day because it traumatized me so much
and we're just laughing about it but that dream made me scared of the ocean and boats
to this day i will never ever get on a boat and sail out to the middle of the ocean
i only feel safe if i'm standing on the shore
but all this made me realize that maybe i should take chances
maybe i need to do more things
make new friends
because one of the people sitting with us i never met
and she was really cool and i would like to be friends with her
maybe i need to be brave because nothing is going to happen if i'm always just standing in the same place, not willing to sail to new beginnings