When I was on the way to grow,
To understand anything I was slow
Like a river in own way I love to flow,
In my dream world with truth, my face glow
All happiness were kept and devil gloom is to blow,
Only I walk to the way that I draw
That was my dream world where my face glow
But now I am grown,
For my mistakes, people call me frown,
I met people many of them are con
They are happy as they are and say,
This way they are born,
In my dream life, I flow but now I can only drown,
I felt pity and for them, I mourn
But this is the way life goes on and on and on........

You anxiously pace the room
As you sit still lost in thought
Caught in a time loop
Running back and forth
Between your ambitions and anxieties
Your heart is constantly racing
As your mind is overthinking
You are lost in the present's darkness
Hoping to find your future
Somewhere in your past mistakes

The moon vanishes
As you surround yourself with anxiety
Whenever you turn your head
Towards a past shaded with regret

So, settle your restless heart
Turn towards the sky
Do you see it waiting?
Like a dim lamp
Waiting for recognition
Like a gift that will illuminate
The night that has fallen
Over your dreams

Destiny will smile at you once again.
The drought that has infected your heart
Will be washed away
With showers that rain down from your ambitions

It feels like
there are only so many times a heart can break
until the pieces get so small
that putting it back together
will take a lifetime

picture the pieces of yourself
that you spent hours picking apart
for every flaw and imperfection
for every blemish, every mark.

double them as plasters,
band-aids stuck to shield the wounds
made by your mistakes,
by your infractions.

they weren't good enough.
sticking to your skin
like leaves off branches,
baring crimson and flesh torn open.

You treated me like I didn't matter. You made me feel like you couldn't care less that I was hurting inside. I felt so alone. I felt like I lost everything good in my life. I just never expected something like that from you of all people. Never expected such treatment from you. You were my forever.

Everything I did, everything I said, any action that could have come across as controlling was only done out of love. It was all done out of fear of losing you, which is what happened in the end. It came out of fear of being pushed out by your parents, which is how it felt from the beginning, which is what happened in the end. Any fear that I had was shown to be valid, because I didn't want to lose you, and that's what happened in the end.

You say I attacked you? You're right, I did. Because I felt cornered. I felt put in a box in the dark in the closet. I felt like I'd been tossed aside, somewhere close by so that you could just pick me up again one day when it was more convenient. Even after I apologized to you for the things that I did wrong. By that time, you already decided that I wasn't worth picking up again at all.

That's how I felt. And I know you may not want to hear it, and maybe you're justifying every single thing you did in your mind, and that's fine.

It's how it felt. That's how it felt to have my heart ripped out.

First, I forgave the bullies
Who made me cry.
I didn't know your story.
You didn't ask for mine.
Now the hard part.
I forgive myself
for the mistakes I've made.
It's been a long, weird game.
But so far, I don't regret
The way I've played.