Gasping for air,
Sobbing;
Trying to grab ahold
Of something.

Crying out in pain,
Shaking;
Trying to call out
To anybody.

Screaming at the world,
Trembling;
Trying to make them
Hear me.

Going silent once more,
Hiding;
No once cares enough
To listen.

Hiding the hurt, hiding the pain
Hiding the tears that fall like rain.
Saying I'm fine , when I'm anything but,
This ache In my soul rips at my gut.
My skin is on fire, I burn from within
The calm on my face is an ongoing sin.
The world must stay out, I've built up a wall
My fragile lie will collapse should it ever fall.
Loneliness consumes me, it eats away the years
Until my life is swallowed by unending fears.
Waiting for someone to see I wear a mask
And care enough to remove it, is that too much to ask?

Often times, it's the person sitting right in front of you.
Smiling and laughing and cracking jokes.
The one that's always the first to ask how you're really feeling.
The one who will sit with you in silence,
Or let you scream to them your frustrations.
The one who will give you a shoulder, an ear, a hug, anytime you need it.
The one who is always there, and never judging.
People don't often see their pain, because they've become so good at hiding it.
So they keep smiling too big,
and laughing too long,
and letting people soak their shoulders with their salty tears.
Because, unfortunately,
Depression targets the ones that feel too much,
until they feel nothing.

.       What can you do, fight being you?
        Who can I be, if I'm not being me?
      Where can I go if I don't belong home
      Where can i turn when I feel so alone.

I cannot confide, I have too much to hide
I cannot push further what's deep down inside, I protect you from me and the troubles I bring I won't weigh you down I won't let you drown.

I will not let you share the worries that I bear, I will not let you see, the cracked doll that is me.

so let us play hide and seek
in my maze of mind
or the labyrinth of my heart.
you can try finding me
or try to find me.
but only if you care enough,
or maybe
only if you're lonely enough.

There it was
In my head
Screaming at me
Wishing I was dead
Between the pages
I learned to live again
Be somewhere other
Than the wasteland
In my head

I learned to be a princess
A warrior
A brilliant fool
Anything but what was actually true
Grew chameleon skin
To flicker better
Between character to character
Just like the weather
All to forget the truth of what
Lingered within my head

It was fun playing perfect
Being everyone's art
But things started to get hazy
When cracks began to part
My body became numb
I let fingers crawl all over
Payment to get anyone
To glue me back together
But I couldn't really run
Nothing could blot out its stead
Unbeknownst to me
I never had been free
From the temptation to be dead
Preying on my head

So I buried in words harder
Trusting the denial
Pretending to be anything else
Must be a new character
Couldn't really just be me
The fingers grabbed harder
And I hungrily let them still
If my flesh became shredded
What would be left to ****?
Yet determination was stronger
Than my bloodlust to ****** me
It only left me screaming
Left me lonely
Left me in dread
From the death taking residence
Inside my pretty head

Our character knew
She could not live such asunder
The death would win
If she did not change her color
Through wretched teeth
And fierce blows of power
The foolish, brilliant princess warrior
Refused to lose her mental tower
Through years of war
And struggle
And pain
She won the rights to herself again
And with her mighty sword led
Away the demons
Inside her head

And now the tale halts
Where the chameleon begins to change
A lovely new form
One haphazard and so strange
Its a visage mixed of all
The characters played before
Yet now the skin's unmoving
And the parts become a whole
The fingers are only one
And soft and loving to touch
And pills and words are now used
For good instead of a crutch
The death has hissed its final roar
The reader final quits
They keep on reading stories
But they do not negatively benefit
Its more at peace
But still a clustered composure
Within the head
Of a happy dreamer much bipolar

Do not fall for these sweet illusions,
They're just a symptom of your confusion --
The hazy smog of your mind's pollution.
Believing it is not the solution.

Nobody knows the real you.
No one can ever see.
And all those who try to reveal you
Will surely fail -- undoubtedly.

They love the you they think they know,
Adore the one you're not.
They're grasping mere mirages though,
You'll never be the one they want!

And though he makes you want to sing,
Please do not be fooled --
For if he did know everything,
His "passion" would be cooled.