I wish the darkness would smother me in sleep for this restless night has taken me prisoner for it’s own.
She had built a wall so well around the fortress of her heart
But there were cracks forming
In her iron armour
There was rust forming at sharp edges
There was a feeling that
Maybe a connection
Wouldn’t be so bad after all
To live and not live
Surely that is a crime
To breath but not let love close
A mortal sin maybe
But she couldn’t see the faces on the souls that beckoned
She knew no one in which she would desire to connect
So what then?
When your young you fall into the arms of strangers without a thought
Wisdom brings many things
Solitude and often silence can
Sooth and yet taunt in unison.
A memory like a flash back
Like prisms dancing on pavements
Like clouds floating freely
Like that moment when you felt lost and this was the only place to come to rid yourself of the lonesomeness you felt within you
A feeling of belonging
But also of shattering glass and sand flowing through your fingers
Time is often not your friend
The words said on the wrong moment
The feelings you never understood
And I thank life that I have moved past the emptiness and have learnt to be happy in this existence.
I thank life for the moments when memories come knocking
Reminding you that you are enough
And so that is enough for now.
To land briefly upon the moment we call forever
To hover timelessly
Waiting in anticipation for more and yet knowing it is not to come
To sleep with shadows hovering
This much and more we will injure before we are able to escape our own sweet madness.
To land briefly is what we humans do upon this earth
Make your mark and leave it a better world for having been apart of its journey through space and time .
She stepped beyond herself
Exhausted by childhood and the need to conform to the will of others,
How ever loving they may be
Her clipped wings were free to fly in the majesty of life’s roller coaster ride.
Little did she know that wild spirits lurked in the forests glades
Waiting to devour such a sweet innocent girl child soul.
No lesson learnt at desks or at her mother breast had equipped her for this fall.
But to her mother’s arms she fell.
Needing the womb like safety that only a child in arms knows.
Mother without judgement holds her love in palms journey
Not letting go until tears subside
And reminds young heart
That hearts were not only made for loving,
But also for healing
And so it goes.
When the worlds love hurts our children, the pain you feel. But the making of a warrior can not not happen by just your hands alone .
Put your hand in my hand
Are you ready?
Let’s go ...
The pavements reflect the colours of your soul my friend.
Rainbow hues lay in puddles of yesterday’s oil spill .
There is no where to roam on such a dark heartless night .
And I’m held motionless within this moment
No one will save me.
I breathe and realise,
I no longer need saving.
This enlightened magical world in which I find myself lends no love to strangers on dark corners .
It holds no memory of the man who stood before the mirror .
Counting the lines within the crevices that line his mature but ageless face.
A handsome man to some .
An ego driven fool to others.
To me he is but a reflection of what might of been .
A memory, a moment of madness in this cold fragile world.
And so I step upon the hue of a fallen rainbow and look for a new story to tell.
One which you no longer have the leading role.