I thought I was alone
That no one understood
That I was different
It made me feel special
But mostly ashamed

I thought I was the only one
Who sat in her room alone
That wrote what she couldn't understand
That just sat on her bed and listened to music

I felt like no one would would understand
That it was weird
That people would think I was too strange
Too different
Thought too deep
Or had too many emotions

But then a group of us
All sat in a circle
And we just spoke the truth about ourselves
And then none of us were alone

They loved to write
They spent time alone
Music set them free too
I thought I was all alone
But then I found all of you

Maybe I don't have a mind,
but at least I'm not crazy.

I fallen so many times,
so I'm so experienced.

I've been cheated and left behind;
I know my friends and enemies.

I hear the echos of memories;
they see how far I've come.
So I know I've come so far.

Don't have a lot of friends,
so music's number 1.

Would **** for solitude,
but then where is the fun.

Maybe it's complicated,
but that makes an adventure.

Sometimes the darkest times,
are ones we gladly venture.

Optimist living for a life we understand. We were never idiots; we have the upper-hand. Notice their all falling down the depths of agony, but we optimist live strong, proud, and free.

If I look at this life,
At today, or tomorrow
Yesterday, I see what is behind me
I see your face, my smile
exactly the way we once were.
Still I wake up tomorrow,
another day of pretending.
This is okay, but inside denial.
more and more hollow,
the way my heart aches,
so I don't look for tomorrows.
I much rather turn around,
and look upon those yesterdays,
because right now, the next day,
they seem less worth while
They are as empty then
as they are now,
yesterday is worth my gaze.
back then was everything.

They said
It wasn't surprising
We all
Knew
She couldn't
Hold on forever
But
We still
Kind of expected
Her to
Because after a
Year
Of rallying
Us thinking
This is it
And her surviving
Making it
To her 90th birthday
We didn't think
It would be now
We thought she had years
Maybe not
Happy
And maybe not
Easy
But years
Still
We thought she
Would be happier
Now that she was not
All alone
But
Then
She got sicker
And we found out
That night
That she was
Gone







* * *








No one cried
At first
We all just stood
Quietly
Wondering
Why
We Knew
She wasn't
Happy
She was in
Pain
She was
Sick
But now
She is gone
I hope
Her pain was
Left here with her
Body
And that she
Is happy
Now
I hope that
She is healthy
That she can walk
With ease
I miss her
But I hope
She is better
Now

They said
It wasn't surprising
We all
Knew
She couldn't
Hold on forever
But still
It was a
Surprise

Could this be another heart break?
or
Could this be another start?
Could this be another tearful day?
or
Could this be another spark?

Could this be just a normal day
filled with ups and downs as always?
Could this be a day for another chance
to dance, to love, to live?

I know that its over
between you and I
and I know you're caught up with her
which I'm aware from the start.
I cried my eyes until they're tired
I cried my heart away
but I know I want you happier
and I know it's not with me
that you can smile 24/7 of a day
it's not with me you can laugh all day long
it's not with me you can smile while reading my text to you
she makes you happier
and i know
I want that for you.

You made me happier
Than I've made myself.


F.Z.N

why do we always choose negativity over being positive
we choose to have our thoughts drown us because
it is harder to swim
than
to
s
i
n
k