The chance being so,
So, so, so very unlikely
You, you might now and again
Find Me behind Your eyes
Those amazing green and hazels
From time to time
Revisiting like I do
too, too often
The better times of You and I
If somehow curiosity grabs control
Leading You to find these lines
For whatever purpose
Any reason
I am not hopeful
But if so, I am and do
I feel I forever might
Hurt and feel hollow
Sick at myself and my wrongs
Know that though too late
I realize how much you loved me
I love you then and now
I only show that in glimpses
For this I am sorry
A flaw in my design
But if you knew
How I hold onto the photos
If you, of us, of then
Our lives, our smiles
And they outnumber all my other
Pictures combined...
Even the ones of my child
Are well below the number you own
I will not delete these
As they are all I have now.
But if anything this should
Show how I hold you still
So dear, that I did love you
If ever... Suzy.  I do.
I will always.
Four times five
There I be
Not the place
Nor am I
Only me and
My one legacy
Me Alone
Caring from beneath
The aging ideal
The fairytale love
I witness
Yet I don't believe
I'll get this
I have literally none
Other than myself
And each once more
I feel less like
Desirable man
Not where I thought
Never culminated
Thought I'd be
One day will change the way
I see my world, my fate and my hurt
Come to new terms
And eyes that try, as hard as mine
Suddenly find Me,
No more hiding, denying
Trying to protect,
the little I thought I had left
When inside is all that was needed
the right light
I find it though in those eyes
welcoming, hearts sacred sunshine.
Emotionally climbing,
out of these walls of my own design
Caught Up In The Missing
caught up in the missing

all of the little things

the way that morning treated you

and every conversation

laughter, and that smile

those eyes, the lies

the closeness that i used to feel

your sweet, soft breath matching mine

the way you said my name sometimes

the time that went by to quickly

I even find myself holding out for you

caught up in the missing

it is hard to want anything

having had all that you wanted

and I did I cherished it

never took for granted

all the little things, your soft kisses

the promises and compromises

Every problem we ever faced

getting rent paid,

every goal we set and reached

the future you said that you wanted

caught up in missing

the way you changed

how you chose to leave

the ending and why it happened

the things I shoul've said

caught up in missing
Ray of Light
For too long now,
these clouds...
Gray and deep,
like ink in water...
The landscape beneath,
barren, cold, forgotten...
Winds and rain,
lightning and thunder...
Just me, alone in this,
my way is guarded...
I'd given up,
no hope, no light...
Then You came,
So bright, brilliant...
A single ray of light,
through those clouds...
You found Me,
In that light, peace...
And the ground,
hope taking root...
that single ray exploding...
making a world I thought I knew,
New, intense and surprisingly wonderful.
A ray of light, And a world
I owe all to you.
To breathe.
Letting loose the reigns
This life, this plane,
this existance holds on One
Is to be selfish? It is,yes.
This is not bad.
To lose the inner self
Outside of time
And gravity and life
As our second self, the body
Knows such things as being
The mind is far more vast
Universes within oneself
Unending and limitless
Given one knows the path
It is where the soul is
Our true self.
To take a moment of self
Is to meet oneself
To come to understand
To celebrate the miracle we are
And know to know peace.
To breathe.
A moment of self.
Eyes seem less caught by
My own though constant desires
Variables could not deduce
Could be its me? Changed
As all before and all around
Less youthful and wanted
Grey hair and lines meeting corners
Of my eyes i view the world with
Poor me.  I had so many choices
I thought betrer was coming
I thought not rush give it time
I did with ignorant youthful abandon
more and more
As it went by only as fast
as the day
The month
The years... Years....
Looking half heartedly
Being picky and choosing rarely
Giving too much to the ones chosen
What if the one
My ever after better half
Walked by or one of them was the one
And i foolishly did little to try?
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