It's hard to feel like
you're growing up when you're moored
- sheltering at home.

I am patiently
waiting to take the helm of my
life's navigation.

My life, so far, is
prelude - I long to cast off
and exit the slip.

beginning:

playing football
in the communal
playground
pitched between
mountains of concrete
brown brick office blocks
blockaded high street shops
council housing kingdoms.

memory;

taking potshots at metal
goalposts slicked with
the rain and scabbed spray paint
till the olders kick us aside
basketballs in hand
for freethrows from the poverty line.

unlearning;

to think
love like marble
too cold and rich to touch
in fear that it’d turn out to be *****
like two boys
looking at each other for too long
can leave stains no amount of febreze can air out.

end;

i still can’t sleep in your arms
but you never stop searching for me
in yours
all there is left to do
is let
myself be found.

IT'S OKAY TO FAIL;
BECAUSE YOU'RE STILL LEARNING.
YOU CAN BE FRUSTRATED;
YOU CAN CRY;
BUT YOU CAN'T QUIT
KEEP GOING;
KEEP GROWING;
AND BE THE BEST VERSION OF YOURSELF.

does growing up
ever hurt for you?
because for me,
it did.
i wasn't really quite prepared
for losing my shell
losing that child-like innocence ,
and losing .
but i did.
and i did it unrelentingly.
Then i lost enough to make a sea.

In that sea of everything you lost
you see yourself bobbing
on the waves.
gasping for air.
it doesn't come.
and in the sea of things you've lost,
saltwater will fill your lungs
until the sea becomes you.

if you think
that you really
know who you are,
it most likely means
that you don't,
your body isnt
the only thing
that ages,
your experiences
grow bigger,
you're like sand
on a beach,
waiting for the wind
to pick your next
residence,
and it's all
too random.

dancing round the tiny room
looking like a flower bloom
smile growing as you spin
turning quickly to a grin

hair undone and flowing down
show the world your princess gown
music filling the tiny space
music, hair, bows, and lace

watching through the foggy glass
spacing out inside your class
shoes kicked off beneath your desk
try to hide your bubblegum breath

teacher drones about geometry
hate it as much as geography
try at least to take the notes,
review them when you get back home

showing off your "special friend"
assuring he is "just a friend"
dinner shall be awkward now
awkward now that he's around

see a girl and feel quite odd
but never think that you are flawed
date a girl, date a boy
date whoever brings you joy.

packing up your childhood
can't do the things a child could
off to find your rightful place
off to find your steady pace

get a job, get a house
get yourself a caring spouse.
have some children, have some fun
before the time you have is done.

Or don't.

buy a car and travel around.
decide to come back homeward bound.
live a life without destraction.
hear the mighty call to action.

go to college, or just don't.
we won't judge, no we won't.
Adult is now the name for you,
and with such title, do what you do.

dance around the room at night,
love a girl, if you feel its right.
leave your toys just laying about,
you know I'd never throw them out.

Did you hear what that old man was thinking?

Morphic resonance is the experimental name,
I think we are served by nodes on a net
not spread in the sight of any bird,

a chthonic net of stone,
girdling the globe in granite, crystalline granite,

take it for granted, these boulders are the witnesses,
the scars of catastrophe,
causing us to wonder
how came this to be? Think Yosemite, Ansel Adams POV

Think Matterhorn und Mt.Blanc,
Old Rockytop, and
Dos Cabezas and Long Valley Mountain, all that granite,
old as earth.

Listen.
Time is the idea we share at the moment,
Earth's is the life we share at the same time.

This is Spaceship Earth, looping Sol as Sol loops Sirius,
and there is no mothership,
no resupply.

This is the only earth, it has survived several civilized
monstrosities. As you know, some mortals can't
imagine not surviving with it, so
we words of earthbound muse,
let slip the bands of pride in time to see,
we are the music,
we make beauty behave as will believes, voluntarily,
it seems,
we choose beauty with little de
liberation, no need to
unlock ledgers and boxes of known safe knowns,

we imagine ourselves
defying the
de-ified con instituted authorities warning,
given us, they swear by the very vicars of the oil:
We warn you…

hell's the price, they swear, that we,
the people, pay for heresy,
dare not think those-
no, no, nor hear and see, or never imagine thinking
a selfish thought,
one you find curiously comforting, for you, your idea,
but
stop…
one heresy breeds another,
soon we shall have a collective
of individual minds agreeing at once,

as all see a particular arranging of colors, in a sunset's
single effortless existence as a thing
with mortal mindable beauty,

did you belive the sunset, or may you, if you wish?

__ unravel, and re ravel to save the thread,
it has lead through the maze before,
I have a witness who tests ifies.

Great unquarried granite, but that forms another story
upon precepts as yet

unglued, un-coagulated, ah, curdled, precepts cultural
curdle and clump together.
Biomes are adjusting the rethinking of pathos,
ethos shall follow,
as night follows day, just wait.

Patience is formed from memes more than experience,
you bet the old man was not lying.

Slow and steady, wins the grace. Take it easy. Fade away…

I once had a story I couldn’t wait to tell,
a little girl with dreams about a world that went to hell.
The sky looked pretty, the stars within her reach,
her dreams escalated quickly to the ever tallest trees.
No nook, no cranny did she wanted to leave unseen,
no village, no valley that ever escaped from her dreams.
The sky is the limit, she always believed,
till the world came crashing on her little perfect dream.
The lights were blinding, the sky turned dark,
reality exploded like a burning car.
Her dreams went quiet, her eyes became soaked,
the day she realized the world was really a hellhole.
The little girl grew up that day
she was stared upon and laughed away.
The sky looked vicious and the stars didn’t seem
like they ever planned to be in the little girl’s reach.