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Adam Jun 2022
What is it that I truly seek?
What happened to the beauty,
in all that I used to see?

Can someone explain what happened to me?

I used to have the buzz and the impetus, that you'd see in a bee.
But these days, I look like a stone tied to a tree.

Asking myself,
at which age did happiness decide to flee?
Posted this 3 years after writing it
I S A A C Mar 2022
I'm 20 now, my logic still unsound
I still linger around and use **** to drown it out
I try to be perfect, be an adult, and keep working
but I am not perfect, it hurts knowing that it hurts showing that
but vulnerability is a virtue, I continue to work to
to shine my light to shed light on what might
be brewing under the surface, for a random observer
I'm 20 now, I hate the way it sounds
almost like the tik tok of a clock, I’m an adult now
my prime is coming to an end retail therapy to pretend
I'm not where I want to be, I'm not happy where I am
do I keep put on the track I'm on or do I switch lanes instead
too many tabs open in my head, too little time spent out of bed
I need to get on my own feet, I need to plant these seeds, I need to not burst at the seams
because I'm 20 now, cant wait to see it out
wondering where ill be, who’s beside me, and if I’ll still doubt
sparklysnowflake Apr 2021
There was suddenly sun spilling all over,
and suddenly hyacinths everywhere.
I have watched everything change so slowly
that nothing ever seemed to move at all,
and in my obstinate blindness, I didn't notice
that the ground had thawed, never mind that it had begun
to bleed spring.

I have never seen spring.
In all honesty, I have never lived
in any sort of weather –
only the starched, air-conditioned bedroom
in my parents' sickeningly stereotypical suburban concoction
of a house, where nothing –
not the dusty closed blinds or even
a blade of grass – ever moved at all.

Here, there are magnolia trees that move,
swaying in soft rhythm.
They have peeled themselves like vinyl stickers off
the backs of my windowpanes, and they really are
alive. I know because they wave to me
in flurries of dip-dyed pink petals –
like a good diaphragm-laugh,
or maybe like a good cry.

I have never laughed,
or cried.
But I cry at everything now –
now that I see it is all alive.
It must be what happens when you start living
alone – growing pains –
I imagine the hyacinths must get growing pains, too,
from exploding like purple fireworks
out of the frozen soil in
no time at all.
about two months now since I moved out and have been living alone. feel like I'm actually in ... a life ... which is cool.
Kaitlyn H Mar 2021
Growing pains…not the ones that hurt because you grew 3 cm tall and everyone at thanksgiving noticed. No, the ones that hurt because your nephew is 17 now and “the system” no longer see him as a kid but as a ****, a beast old enough to take bullets from the back but can’t envision him as the next Obama or the next Mansa Musa. Can’t seem to accept my blackness, **** they barely accept the jews. Growing pains…not the ones that got my hips spreading and my ******* developing. No, the ones that allow you to be thankful somehow, that your daddy was a rolling stone and taught you the ways of the play book, so you could be ready to read through any ******* men feed you. Like, “I know you scared but don’t be baby cause I got something to ease you.” Ruining your fairytale of loyalty, fidelity and men. Growing up to only find out you have daddy issues.
Growing pains, when you realize your narrow-minded perspective as a child gave you false hope as an adult. Thinking I wanted to be like my parents when I grow up. I just had an epiphany, I’m just like them, and that’s what ****** up. Living to metamorphosize into a greater being not just to break this generational curse but to live up to my expectations rather than finding out what’s worse.
Growing pains, digging up the emotional trauma. Discovering my triggers and healing from the past that no longer serves me. Having to navigate my own way to the destination. So, you birthed me, gave me beatings, personally prepped my platter of mental disarray. But I don’t blame you, mama. I forgive you…because you only taught me what you knew. And you taught me what not to be and from that I only grew like a mushroom that flourishes even through **** and still possess a magical hue.
Growing pains, realizing the elephant in the room was louder than any silence I have ever heard. For years, accepting everyone’s lies that turned into words that turned into truth that turned into hurt. Shaping me, molding me like clay, into a prisoner of their society. A prisoner who had to break free. A prisoner held captive for wanting to be an individual. What some would consider a pariah but really just a lost soul looking for a reason to breathe. Making use of this breathing container encapsulating the forsaken child within. Hidden in brown skin. Waiting to feel the liberation.
Never thought a therapist would be an essential part of my living. Never thought in a stranger I would ever find healing. Never expected my mental to be depressed or my feelings to be addressed, I’m just holding on to what’s left like a hoarder I’m obsessed but living that life I won’t progress so here it is…. I…. confess.
GQ James Feb 2021
It ain't getting no easier,
Doing my best to hold on,
Keep getting knocked down,
Over and over,
God gives me the strength to keep going,
Who knew it would be this hard,
I surely didn't but that's okay,
No cries or tears to shed.

The struggle made me numb,
I can't feel nothing but what's in front of me,
The struggle and them growing pains,
It only makes me stronger,
The weak give up not me,
I keep pushing,
It ain't easy but nothing in life is easy.

Throw me to the wolves,
I'll come back running the pack,
There's nothing I can't handle,
I was built off the muscle,
I was raised from the struggle.
Zack Ripley May 2019
Soon, it will be time for you to take the stage.
You'll be born and your parents life will never be the same. Someday soon, you'll start to grow and grow and grow.
And even though they'll be excited,
sometimes you might hear them say they wish time would slow. There will be many questions you want answers to.
"Are we there yet?" "Why is the sky blue?"
Sometimes, they may not be able to tell you.
Someday, you'll want to rebel;
do things they tell you not to just to make them scream and yell. Someday, you'll tell them you hate them after having a fight.
The next day, you'll tell them you love them
by the time they tuck you in at night.
But it's important you know no matter what they say,
no matter what you do, your parents will always love you.
Tetra Hachiko Jul 2019
These days i used to know
They've all but come and go
These streets i used to roam
They all dont know me now
I made all new friends
With all new sidewalk ends
Spent days and nights
Learning all the new lights
After all I have done
I cant let myself shun
The hard work put
Into getting my foot
Started in a fresh direction.
Julia May 2019
loving you is like
          ­                                l l
                         ­      h
a rock rolling u
or catching a f
                            l l
just know that i tried

losing you is like
endless rain on a sunny day
st!ng!ng pain from the ultraviolet ray
destiny denied

if the world is made of
red and blue swipes
then why not just be
purple all of the time?

if i don't need love
or musical pipes
then you can find me
lost looking for rhyme

my baby never sang a song
to fix whatever might be wrong
you think your boxes have the key
but a quick coupler isn't me

loving you is like
a (myth) that never did exist
or a (woman) in this world trying to resist

losing you is like
learning i could fix myself with my own strong arms
turning fields of barren land into fertile farms

into the ease i'm free
so call me when you understand
how to please all of me
how to be more than just a boy-man

i'm glad it's over.
inspired by the song by Charlotte Dos Santos
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