My name's Anti and I crave
the dark side of a day,
I'm insecure and
sometimes I can't define what I think,
I push people away,
I've gotten so huge,
my victim sees a shrink.
I won't be tamed by pills,
a substance holds no power
over a force that kills;
sure, I'm prone to blind infatuation,
extreme heart palpitations,
but has no one ever told you
of my evergreen determination?

We are at the mercy of the city, they said.
Trapped and bound, it wasn’t pretty.
We are the kids who have accomplished nothing.
The kids who lived too fast.
The kids who didn’t live at all.
Wanting to be something, facing the fall.

Laughing in the face of darkness.
Pretending to do our jobs while they drop pennies.
Here and there, bounding everywhere.
Facing the end of the map,
Opportunities landing everywhere but our laps.

Then the lights come on, at the game’s end.
The charade is over, no time left to pretend.
Pretend to be grown, happy, and alone.
Together in this land of the infinite unknown.
Cliche’d and replayed and lost in the many quotas.
Not enough going on anymore to really take note of.

Dad,
You don't get me,
You never have.
When I ran away,
Were you even sad?
Dad,
You wanted me gold,
I tarnished in your hands.
I fell through your fingers
Like grains of sand.
Dad,
You don't get me.
Especially not when
I told you to call me
Kylo Ren.

What force
would move you
to wakefulness
at dawn?

What force
would have such power
to keep your consciousness on?

Is it just the mind,
or is it deeper?

You know what
and you know why
So just keep on
and Listen.

Money is a  driving
           force
              to
the    real   world
        sometimes
                it
              can
bring physical happiness
              but
money garland those
             who
are great  administrators
                and
who knows  how it can
            manage.
they are known as "rich"
              people.

I'm a ****** of ambition
a clairvoyant
whose true sight can only
seer through my objectives.

I am juxtaposed from my life--
from passion and experience
feeling is a concept
that lingers outside the realm
where I reside;
by choices I was forced to make.

It has bibulous proportions
that consume my cravings
and intoxicate the senses--

So can we believe to be free
instead of circus-elephants
who plunged their trunks
into a trough of indecision.

Where caging and pushing
each other to perform tricks for the audience
is the normality of existing--

to be the scampering mouse
that lives outside their barriers
causes them to fear us
to stampede and
stomp until
there is only obedience.

So what's it like to be you?
As I stand here in the rain
The only question in my head
That slices through the pain

The image in my head is of
A girl I know at school
Talked to her about my life today
She seemed pretty cool

Listened to her talk about her own life
And we were pretty similar
Her father is in the defence force too
And that was the common topic, in particular

How often our fathers were gone,
Might I intervene and say my dad retired
Twenty years or so in the Army
Of which he grew sick and tired

But she also mentioned sickness
And how some family had cancer
I felt sorry for her, she's much worse off
I didn't try to understand her

Instead I gave my sympathies
And my apologies

So what's it like to be you?
I think to myself in the rain
I know your story but don't understand
How you dealt with all the pain