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Heidi Werner Sep 8
So often I feel that I do not exist
And I have wondered what it would be like
to allow myself to
D...................................
.......R.................­...........
...............I.....................
...............­........F.............
..............................T......
Just­ outside your field of vision
Blending in with the nothingness
that borders the outskirts
of your periphery
I want to be where I am not
Exist in liminal space
in emptiness
as nothing…
Broken charcoal
pencils and crayons
are all just as useful broken
as they are whole
A broken mirror
offers you your own reflection
fractured
warped
but it is still you
reflected
elle May 1
how can one be frightened by their own mystique?

there is so much of myself i am unsure of, fear, of what i am capable of.
then led into an eschewed umbra of curiosity.

i have acted in numerous obscure ways,
why can i not just-
blackout?

one night without the pain of you.
without the pain of my crimes that i may or may not have committed.

and so i'll let myself absorb into a lifeless bleak state of emptiness,
so my other side stays in the dark, disintegrating out of existence.
c!ranboo inspired:)
nora Apr 28
Time slipped away in the spring, in the muddy puddles and the rain, in the sweet-smelling flowers and the rain.
It rubbed circles into the small of my back,
whispered bittersweet apologies and tacked a sticky note to my corkboard.
“Remember to call.”
I forgot.

And I sit under the blooming tree
my bare feet soft against the grass

Time left me in the summer, in the sunny skies and the rain, in the sweltering heat and the rain.
It ran somewhere unknown, far, far, far away,
while I treaded chlorinated water and prayed that the fall would come sooner.
“You can call whenever.”
I didn’t.

And I sit beside the verdant tree
my bare feet ******* the pavement

Time was gone in the fall, in the whispered breeze and the rain, in the crinkling leaves and the rain.
But I had company in a glowing screen,
And as days turned to weeks turned to months I forgot about time altogether.
“Someone is calling.”
I hung up.

And I sit far from the dying tree
my bare feet resting on the couch

Time slept in the winter, in the miserable cold and the rain, in the blustery wind and the rain.
Numbers and names disavowed,
As “today” and “tomorrow” become “now” and “later”
“What is the word called?”
I don’t know.

And I cannot see the empty tree
my bare feet asleep on the carpet

Time has returned in the spring.
It looks me in the eyes,
profuse apologies pouring out from its lips.
“But you didn’t call.”
I blink. Didn’t I?
Christine Ely Jan 2020
my mind still is buried very
softly, in a powdered haze of
sweetness, coated in a sheet of dust-
Memories still remain, I’m not
decaying, yet the feeling’s always
staying, that perhaps “forward”
Was too far to go.
It wouldn't be a lie to say life is going smoothly. Slipping smoothly downward.
lex Dec 2020
nothing feels exactly right
for i rush between the days

it's hard to see your future's bright
when it's muddled in so many ways
nothing feels exactly real anymore?
The world warps
And goes fuzzy around the edges
Like I am not real,
A place holder or chest piece.
My limbs do not move like they are mine,
As if they are foreign bodies attached to my trunk.
The floor is the only solace.
I melt into the stiff boards and rough carpet
Until the world tilts back and becomes
Whole again.
Gracie Sep 2020
Alterations in perception
Leads to involuntary self-deception
Is this a dream
Is this reality
What if I am really dead
My sanity's hanging by a thread
I miss having clarity
Being able to differentiate
Am I lucid
Or delusive
I miss being able to truly say
I had a good day
At this point I'm not sure what I know to be true
I just know that I'm tired of trying to push through
And if anybody can hear me
Please help me understand
I'm lonely and scared
Can someone please
just hold my hand?
Only way I can describe my derealization
Radhika Lusted Sep 2020
What is this feeling
I can't seem to shake?
I know im not dreaming
But i dont feel awake

I look all around me
But nothing feels real
My heart keeps on pounding
it's all i can feel

What is this feeling
that steals all my breath?
Whatever i do
it won't make me fear less

I look at the world
But it's just one big dream
Reality is fading
It's not what it seems

I call out for help
But nobody can hear me
The silence within
Is all that is near me

Im trapped in my mind
with no place to go
this life is an illusion
im all on my own
A poem about the struggles i used to have with derealisation, i also struggles greatly with depersonalisation and the feeling of being outside of my body and watching myself. It can be an extremely scary and frightening experience
Roro Aug 2020
Sweet melting ice cream
Sunrise beamed in blue and pink
Snowflakes drizzling, a silent scream
Soft pillows for her cheek to sink
Scents filling her nose like a sweet stream
Lying in her same bed
Eyes open but not awake
Senseless to her frozen core
Not sure if it’s all fake
Her reality now a distant dream
Memories of the world she made, erased
The rainbow sprinkled donut that was her life
She couldn’t recognize or taste
Derealization can make someone feel the world and life they built around them is not real, like living in a hazy dream in an unrecognizable place.
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