I dedicated my life
to stay by your side
respect our relationship & to always love you right,
keeping a vow to never cross any boundary line.
But you showed a different side.
An unexpected twist that brought tears to my eyes.
Your energy changed.
From positive to negative, this affection & demeanor wasn’t the same.
Anytime my friends called to check on me or hangout, you yell.
Cursing out my name as if I brought shame into our relationship.

Now I can’t breathe...

I can’t breathe because I’m traumatized,
I’m traumatized because I can’t socialize,
I can’t socialize because I ghosted my friends for you so now I hide in fear

You stole a peace of my mind to the point where I can’t even recognize who I am anymore.
Which causes me to feel less of a “Woman” inside.

But no more!
Times have changed

Somewhere along the road I found strength.
Gain the courage to move on & think about what’s best for me
rather than sink back into your arms.
See, I've learned that you never had power...
You were a simple weak man
trying to devour a Queen’s castle
rather control your own **** tower
like the lowlife peasant you are.

But now that you are gone,
it is safe to say
I am better without you in every way.
So stay your btch a_ off of my phone.
There’s nothing here for you, please leave me alone.
Your words mean nothin', so please hold your tongue &
don’t worry about the next man I f-k with
nor I am lovin'.
Just know it will never again be you,
you’re no longer a discussion
highly irrelevant
good riddance , peace out boo boo.

What do i seek?
What more do I ask for?
What is it that's left?
To feel, to say, to listen and to bear.

To give is to take,
To trust is to wait,
To attach is to not depend
And to love is to not demand.
The only equations I understand.

But why is it
That I deviate
And I'm unable to take a stand?

But why is it
That my weakness
Makes you my need beforehand?

But why is it
That I want the mountains
And give in to the islands?

But why is it
That I always need time
And it slips away like sand?

But why is it
That I want to build a house
And still need my empty land?

But why is it
That I want to rewrite stories
And not give a second chance?

My eyes hurt whenever I see what they have in their hands
It seems the treasures they have glow more than mine
If I could take what they have maybe I won't whine or demand
For my mother told me a boy should never be envious in life

As I was getting taller my resentment grew stronger and louder,
"I want to have what they want! They have the cleanest of luxury"
I was never raised to grasp rubies so I begrudge men with power
Whenever I want something they refused, so I grew up with envy

Now my hands can afford diamonds like everybody else
the satisfaction that I felt was all I yearned for these years
Looking back to where accessories were considered wealth
Senseless for me to think that not having earthly desires is what I fear

Now if ever I pass by an alley and a kid looks at me with jealousy
Three words to change his look, "Here's a candy"
So he could see that happiness shines more than jewelry