Flowing like water
Going wherever I need to go
Cutting through the way
No narrow path can stop me.
I am the water
I am a river
I flow through everything
That's all I know.
Nothing is ever what it seems,
I am the sea
I am the ocean.

i hope you know i'm bleeding for you

Sometimes
I wish one of us would die
Just to end this mess
To let my hair grow out
To become someone else
Again

it begins with a single slice.
then you start to feel it,
the adrenaline.
the excitment.
you feel the desire,
you long for more.

after the longing comes
more longing,
longing for the feeling,
desire for the rush.
soon you give into
the temptation.

then the guilt sets in.
shame about the ****** lines
on your arms.
shame about the scars
then you remember.
the adrenaline.
the rush.

then it begins again...

i am no object
shattered, unlike paperweight
i’m meant to cut deep.

Look at you.
Your eyes all red,
Cheeks puffy and slick with tears, and
Lips puckered.

You're crying,
God knows why.

You hate yourself--
Every single detail.

You curse yourself--
Anytime you can.

You can't find a reason to keep going on.

Your life is perfect;
You have everything you need.
A lovely home, family, friends, and food on the table.
Everything is perfect.

Then,
Why are you crying?
God knows why.

You scream
At the top of your lungs--
Banging your fists against the glass.

It shatters.
You lose yourself in the tears, in the glass,
The blood of your image is cut open.

You cry,
And God knows why.

I don't want to be trapped any longer
will I ever be freed from this cage?
will I fly with the heavenly skies?
or will I fall into the dark abyss that waits for me below?
emotions as still as cloud now turn into blades
cutting my wings making me plummet down
to the unwanted list of abandoned children
unable to be better
unable to breath
unable to see or hear
unable to fly once more
will another come to save us or will the blades cut their wings
the angeles are afraid to fall
and so they leave us, the children of abandonment to be stuck
on the unwanted list.

My chest aches differently today.
It's not the heartbreak,
It's not the pain,
I'm not even sure if it's a mixture of both.

It might be the memories of us disappearing into the abyss of my soul.
It might be the essence of you detaching from me.
It hurts, but it doesn't hurt as bad anymore.

I hear my heart thumping.
One beat at a time,
Slowly, but surely regaining its strength.
It reminds me that I am still alive.

I feel the wounds.
Bleeding, healing,
And building back stronger.

I feel everything.
All at once.
And for once, I feel okay.

The ache in my chest is different today.
It may be the heartache.
It may be the pain.
Or even a mixture of the two.

But for once,
I feel okay.

I'm still alive.

My chest aches differently today.
It's not the heartbreak,
It's not the pain,
I'm not even sure if it's a mixture of both.

It might be the memories of us disappearing into the abyss of my soul.
It might be the essence of you detaching from me.
It hurts, but it doesn't hurt as bad anymore.

I hear my heart thumping.
One beat at a time,
Slowly, but surely regaining its strength.
It reminds me that I am still alive.

I feel the wounds.
Bleeding, healing,
And building back stronger.

I feel everything.
All at once.
And for once, I feel okay.

The ache in my chest is different today.
It may be the heartache.
It may be the pain.
Or even a mixture of the two.

But for once,
I feel okay.

I'm still alive.

I claw at my skin,
The blood seeps out,
And it feels good.

I claw at my arms,
The blood creeps out,
And it feels sweet.

I claw at my chest,
The heart beats out,
And it feels alive.

The blood seems to wash away the pain.
The blood seems to leave a different stain.

I long to feel.
I want to feel.

Not sadness,
Not happiness,
Just feel.

The torn skin understands me.
The broken heart listens to me.
The blood is there for me.

And it feels beautiful.

It feels destined:
My pain and I.
The blood mixed with the tears I cry.

It's love at first sight,
That first draw of blood.
The skin under my nails,
The blissful feeling of release.

Only you can make me feel like this,
And I love it.